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So I spent a considerable amount of time locked in a shed.
- Thread starter TheOnlyOneHeEverFeared
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TheOnlyOneHeEverFeared
Member
Time and perspective are great things. I don't think you realise till after how important it is in fact.
Also thank you guys for the kind words and support Gaf has been the fucking GOAT for me the past year since I joined. You know what it was scary typing out that paragraph in the OP. It felt wrong like it needed to be pushed down far as possible like I've been doing all this time and outwardly projecting it onto myself with the self harm. But it feels good having said it, well typed it. Its not keeping me prisoner anymore, cliched as that sounds.
I don't know if I'm a good person. I feel like I'm discovering my personality. As in, I don't have to put up with people just cos I'm desperate and I'm not a cash machine and I'm not awful or poisonous, I'm just me. Don't know what that is yet, but we'll see.
RyougaSaotome
Member
I came into this thread expecting a goofy story and instead I'm holding back tears.
I am so so sorry for what you had to go through, OP. I'm glad you managed to come out the other side, and I wish you all the luck in the goddamn world going forward.
I am so so sorry for what you had to go through, OP. I'm glad you managed to come out the other side, and I wish you all the luck in the goddamn world going forward.
nintendoman58
Member
Oh my goodness OP. I can't even begin to fathom how horrible that must have been for you.
I am so sorry for what you had to go through. My condolences.
I am so sorry for what you had to go through. My condolences.
I really don't know what to say here that hasn't already been said OP.
So sorry for what you had to deal with. Super glad that it sounds like you're doing a great job of coping and dealing with what happened. Maybe if it makes you feel better to type your thoughts and feelings out about it, you should keep doing it, and write more.
Have you ever thought about working in some form of social services to help abused children get through similar situations? Seems like you'd have a lot of understanding and insight to help them get through it too.
So sorry for what you had to deal with. Super glad that it sounds like you're doing a great job of coping and dealing with what happened. Maybe if it makes you feel better to type your thoughts and feelings out about it, you should keep doing it, and write more.
Have you ever thought about working in some form of social services to help abused children get through similar situations? Seems like you'd have a lot of understanding and insight to help them get through it too.
Abstruse Moose
Member
I'm happy for you. You're making huge strides and deserve a ton of credit. It's great to see you no longer blame yourself. I wish you all the best on your path of personal discovery.
freethoughtbubble
Member
I don't know what to say. I'm so sorry you had to go through that, OP. Your father is almost certainly a psychopath; you just had the bad luck of being born his child. After an experience like that, I wouldn't be surprised if you had a dim view of human beings in general. I'm glad posting on gaf is helping you work through this. It's never too late to learn to be happy, and even though there is a lot of evil in the world, there's a lot of good, too. I also really hope that your father is made to answer for the things he did to you and your family. I wish you love, peace and happiness, OP.
Mixolydian
Member
See all this support brother? Good stuff.
Positive thoughts your way, OP.
Positive thoughts your way, OP.
I know what you mean so much. To admit or accept that you weren't wrong and things were unfair is exactly that, scary.
But I also think it isn't possible to turn the anger into passion, or something useful, unless you have the courage to see things for how unfair they are. Making this thread and talking about it, saying how fucked up it is, is courage.
I wish you the best.
Lord of Ostia
Member
Just want to say I appreciate your story OP, and I hope that getting it out somewhere has been helpful to you. I encourage you to find someone in real life who you can talk to about the abuse and perhaps help you through it. It seems like that is really difficult for you though, so I can't say I blame you for your hesitancy to drudge it all up again. I'm in awe of your ability to still function after such horrible circumstances, and have the utmost respect for you.
damn
just
damn
I thought I had a rocky relationship with my dad, but this is nothing compared to what I went through. Man... I don't think I could hold myself back from seriously trying to injure your dad after being freed. Like it would be incredibly stupid, but I don't know how i'd process months of rage.
I'm glad things are better for you, but it feels like you're owed for the hardship you went through.
This line really got to me. Goddamnit.
just
damn
I thought I had a rocky relationship with my dad, but this is nothing compared to what I went through. Man... I don't think I could hold myself back from seriously trying to injure your dad after being freed. Like it would be incredibly stupid, but I don't know how i'd process months of rage.
I'm glad things are better for you, but it feels like you're owed for the hardship you went through.
This line really got to me. Goddamnit.
Alligatorjandro
Banned
Wow man it's good to hear about you moving on and bettering yourself after that.
teacupcopter
Banned
Man good person or not, how much control do you even have when you are a child? And even now if you feel there are things you have done, you should never try and let that justify thinking you are 'bad' or any of the things your father said you were. People can make mistakes, and nothing is deserving of this kind of punishment.
I hope you find whatever you're looking for.
Polioliolio
Member
This is almost too crazy to believe. I suppose of you grew up with it you wouldn't be so blown away at the idea of it like we are.
highrider
Banned
Reading this made me envision beating your dad to a pulp.
That's horrible, I would consider it torture. I was incarcerated once for 80 days in jail. 23 hours a day in your cell. I'm sure you have a keen imagination. I really felt like mine saved me from flipping out. I hope you have a good life now op. One positive thing I learned about isolation and confinement, it makes you stronger after you endure it. Nothing really scares you after that.
That's horrible, I would consider it torture. I was incarcerated once for 80 days in jail. 23 hours a day in your cell. I'm sure you have a keen imagination. I really felt like mine saved me from flipping out. I hope you have a good life now op. One positive thing I learned about isolation and confinement, it makes you stronger after you endure it. Nothing really scares you after that.
Swimmer9800
Member
This is absolutely heartbreaking. I have the utmost respect for you and your handling of the situation. This makes me very thankful for my parents who are fantastic. You hear about this stuff on the news, but your story made it so real to me. You're a much more brave than I will ever be.
TheRealTalker
Banned
that is crazy I don't know what to say but my full feelings are for you OP you have endured for so long and we will be with you
The Lamonster
Member
I respect your bravery, OP. Good luck dealing with everything, inside and out.
Hey OP I know you're probably in bed now but I'm sure you'll be back tomorrow.
I'm your average white guy who had an incredible upbringing with good middle class parents
My wife was emotionally and physically abused to a great degree her whole life. She has PTSD too and a slew of other mental illnesses that she copes with much much better now thanks to meds and therapy. she self harmed for 15 years or so I think off and on. she first tried to kill herself in primary school by overdosing, and was never able to make until hugh school (and she was deprived of other normal aspects of life). Don't really want to air the details, but the situation was just another breed of insanely fucked up childhood
I know you said you don't think you're nice because you're full of anger and have hurt yourself
She's been the same way but I've 100% never met anybody nicer - and you seem the same way. She would never ever want to hurt somebody. She says she feels like a bitch all the time because of what's in her head - but that's just what's in her head
She's a little socially awkward but we fell in love and she's only gotten better over the years. For years I went to a therapist with her every week to help - when you find somebody that you fall in love with and trust I highly recommend this. You will both grow together and you'll have somebody who can help you and your life will come together and you'll be happier. She's now incredibly scared of death because out of the 9 years we've been together, it's only been the last 4 that she's been happy and mostly "normal" feeling for a long, consistent period of time and feels passionate for things. (Edit: I don't mean to be presumptuous with my advice or whatever in this paragraph, mostly just wanted to share our experience.)
Im so glad to hear you're out of that situation alive and doing the better than almost anybody else would be if they were in your shoes. You're one of the strongest people on the planet, no joke, spiderman doesn't have shit on you. I tell her that all the time too - you're both insanely strong people. I'm the biggest whiny baby in the world if I catch a fever.
I'm your average white guy who had an incredible upbringing with good middle class parents
My wife was emotionally and physically abused to a great degree her whole life. She has PTSD too and a slew of other mental illnesses that she copes with much much better now thanks to meds and therapy. she self harmed for 15 years or so I think off and on. she first tried to kill herself in primary school by overdosing, and was never able to make until hugh school (and she was deprived of other normal aspects of life). Don't really want to air the details, but the situation was just another breed of insanely fucked up childhood
I know you said you don't think you're nice because you're full of anger and have hurt yourself
She's been the same way but I've 100% never met anybody nicer - and you seem the same way. She would never ever want to hurt somebody. She says she feels like a bitch all the time because of what's in her head - but that's just what's in her head
She's a little socially awkward but we fell in love and she's only gotten better over the years. For years I went to a therapist with her every week to help - when you find somebody that you fall in love with and trust I highly recommend this. You will both grow together and you'll have somebody who can help you and your life will come together and you'll be happier. She's now incredibly scared of death because out of the 9 years we've been together, it's only been the last 4 that she's been happy and mostly "normal" feeling for a long, consistent period of time and feels passionate for things. (Edit: I don't mean to be presumptuous with my advice or whatever in this paragraph, mostly just wanted to share our experience.)
Im so glad to hear you're out of that situation alive and doing the better than almost anybody else would be if they were in your shoes. You're one of the strongest people on the planet, no joke, spiderman doesn't have shit on you. I tell her that all the time too - you're both insanely strong people. I'm the biggest whiny baby in the world if I catch a fever.
I'm really sorry to hear about what happened to you. I'm glad you are willing to talk about it with us. Will you be in court testifying against him?
Its really sad when some priests respond to situations like this with such a dismissive response. They should be more active in actually helping the individuals heal, dismissing them with a stock phrase doesn't do anything positive.
Its really sad when some priests respond to situations like this with such a dismissive response. They should be more active in actually helping the individuals heal, dismissing them with a stock phrase doesn't do anything positive.
Seriously?
Seriously what? That story had way too many insignificant details like what the shed was made of, timeline of pots and bags of soil instead of talking about why his mum and siblings weren't helping him the whole time his dad was locking him in a shed for 9 months! This is something out of a horror story and not really something someone would go on a video gaming forum to vent about. If one of my sisters were locked in a shed I would go get them out, I don't care what the consequences are, so there are so many missing details about important stuff but instead I'm getting details like Pokemon Gold and silver etc? Were you playing video games in there the whole time? Why were you being singled out from your brothers and sisters?
B_Spooky13
Member
Really? He is speaking from his heart and trying to write down something he rarely talks about.. And he needs to work on his story telling? Cause it gave you a headache? Poor baby.
To OP I also was physically and mental abuse but nothing to this extent. I could never imagine this. And my whole heartily sorrow for what you went through. As the older I get and the more I talk to people about my experience.. It does get easier. I'm behind you as a victim and a gaffer. Always here for you
I would say it's been nice knowing you, but....
You are being ridiculous.
I'm so sorry OP talking about his feelings in a way he's comfortable with has inconvenienced you so much, Master Snaggle. I'll make sure we all run our OPs by you before posting.
Edit: My apologies for the derail.
Have you seen OP's other threads like the adopted cats etc? This thread just seems to have come out of leftfield when he seems like such a happy guy. I'm sorry about being insensitive OP, it's pretty crap what happened to you but would love to hear some more details about how this was allowed to happen? Maybe it can help us all prevent it in future for other people that might be vulnerable or look for tell tale signs of someone being abused right under our noses.
It's the OP's own personal experience and they can relate it however they want. You aren't owed any of these details, they are the OP's to share (or not share).
Also this was incredibly fucked up thing that happened and it is hard for them to even bring up as they already said in the thread, so why don't you cool it with the criticism.
AmaterasuOkami076
Member
You're being incredibly rude and ignorant of the situation.
Murder. She Wrote
Member
Nevermind.
He's recalling memories from a traumatic experience, not some creative writing experiment you doofus. Some details you're asking for he won't answer because maybe he genuinely doesn't know or uncomfortable or can't say. I'm sure he wants to know why his mum and siblings let this happen too if he doesn't. It was probably fear if he was locking his child in a fucking metal shed.
Karsticles
Member
From my own abuse experiences, I can say that I will never be quite the same as those around me, and my level of emphathy is lower than most humans. That does not make me a "bad person", however. It's great that you were able to open up about what has happened to you - may you continue your recovery.
Hey man you don't need to start calling me names, I wasn't insulting OP just saying it was a weird way of telling the story.
So it's ok for everybody to insult me now, is that how this works?
No, but you're being an insensitive asshole and you're damn well going to get called out for it.
I thought this was going to be a funny "dropped my keys, tripped over my boots, door closed. 3 hours later my wife came and got me out" kind of story.
But then
That's like, worse than a lot of jail sentences.
Glad to see you pretty much made it out OK. Holy shit though. Sorry to hear you had to go through that.
But then
...Holy fucking shit.
That's like, worse than a lot of jail sentences.
Glad to see you pretty much made it out OK. Holy shit though. Sorry to hear you had to go through that.
B_Spooky13
Member
The thing is when you are in these situations there are certain things that stand out in your mind. Like him using Pokemon as time posts that helps him remember somewhat the time frame of when this happened. Or the way the shed looked smelled or what was in it. These are the point of view that he's remembering and trying to get it through to us.
People are saying you are being highly insensitive to point out how someone writes about a highly sensitive subject. Who cares how he wrote his story. He wrote it... To us. And we should be touched and honored to read this story from a fellow gaffer. Have respect
I guess that would also make you an insensitive asshole because I've said I'm sorry but for some reason you want to keep attacking me for it. Keep it coming, I guess I should be immune to all this name calling because I made a mistake.
So was he in there with a Gameboy or something? How does he know about the timeline of video games when it happened?
MilkLizard
Member
This was very painful to read. I'm so sorry you went through this.
I'm going to hug my son now.
I'm going to hug my son now.
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