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Spike Spiegel
the things I do for money
I'll never understand
the world is just a marble
in the palm of my hand
(12-25-2006, 09:05 PM)
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Greetings, fellow GAFfers, on this most wonderful of winter holidays. Before I leave for Christmas dinner with the family, I have a gift -- today I bring to you the most recent example of just how big of an @$$hole Batman truly is. This yuletide tale, titled "Yes, Tyrone, There Is a Santa Claus" comes to you from the pages of the DCU Infinite Holiday Special, available now at fine comics retailers everywhere.



Hmm... I wonder -- what might Superman be saying there on that cover? o_O



Anyway, on to the story. It seems one of little Tyrone Jenkins's friends told him there's no such thing as a Santa Claus, and since Tyrone only trusts the Daily Planet for all his news, he's written a letter to the newspaper for a confirmation. Reading the letter, an elated Perry White smells a holiday exclusive. Why? Well, maybe Perry's getting a little soft in the head in his old age. What do you think, Clark?



Perry's sanity may be in question, but his willingness to get into the spirit of super-dickery is not, as seen in this exchange with Metropolis's #1 gal reporter, Lois Lane:



Atta boy, Perry! Send that uppity skirt crying back to the kitchen where she belongs! :lol

Roused by little Ty's story, Clark decides to bring the snot-nosed punk some holiday cheer as his alter-ego Superman, using his super-abilities to construct presents, a sleigh, and a red and white S- suit.



Suuuuuuuuuuuuuure, Mr. Ego... :rolleyes

Superman's all set to head out on his holiday mission (that, or he's making ready to hurl that sleigh into the sun, making this a Super-Dickery thread instead), giddy as a schoolgirl, when suddenly, unexpectedly...





Hah! :D



Man, talk about a buzzkill! Shouldn't you be slitting your wrists, emo boy? Bet he's fun at the JLA office parties...

(Click thumbnail for readable version)

Yes, folks, Batman is actually trying to talk Superman out of delivering presents to some needy, depressed children on Christmas Eve. And - even worse - he actually succeeds! As if Superman doesn't have time for both saving the world and spreading holiday cheer... he's Superman for crying out loud! It doesn't get much worse than that, right? Well, read on.

After deciding Batman's right, Superman takes off his homemade Santa suit and makes ready to abandon his sleigh full of gifts to looters and the homeless when, having a change of heart, he decides to deliver the presents anyway. Making his way into little Ty's room, arms laden with toys for little girls and boys, Superman bursts into the living room and...



"!"

(Click thumbnail for readable version)

Such a dick. >:(


EDIT: SPECIAL! BONUS DICKERY!

As if more proof were needed after that cruel display, here is DC's holiday postcard for 2006, available in wallpaper format at the official website so you can share in the Dark Knight's humbuggery with your desktop. Get into the Christmas spirit, you damn Bat-Grinch!



Merry Christmas, NeoGAF!!! :D
RumpledForeskin
Banned
(12-25-2006, 09:11 PM)
:lol

That's fantastic


"yea, well, my parents taught me a different lesson.... lying it the alley.... twiching"

:lol
karasu
Likes his fat guys jiggly
(12-25-2006, 09:12 PM)
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WTF :lol
Shawn128
Member
(12-25-2006, 10:07 PM)
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Is this a real comic? :lol
Milhouse31
Bad Art
(12-25-2006, 10:25 PM)
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Batman is such a dick :lol
emomoonbase
I'm free 2night after my LARPing guild meets.
(12-25-2006, 10:33 PM)
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Oh man...
HomerSimpson-Man
Member
(12-25-2006, 10:35 PM)
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:lol :lol :lol
Fun Factor
Formerly FTWer
(12-26-2006, 12:39 AM)
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Best Super-dickary ever
Spike Spiegel
the things I do for money
I'll never understand
the world is just a marble
in the palm of my hand
(12-26-2006, 08:16 PM)
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Originally Posted by Shawn128

Is this a real comic? :lol

Yep. http://www.dccomics.com/comics/?cm=6435
Dan
Currently boycotting the Wolfenstein franchise
(12-26-2006, 08:22 PM)
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Batman > Superman

Confirmed!
BenjaminBirdie
(12-26-2006, 08:25 PM)
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Yeah, that was actually a surprisingly great little story.
Zensetsu
Member
(12-26-2006, 09:26 PM)
Congrats to them for making a "holliday edition" of something that isn't lame. :D
sky
Member
(12-26-2006, 09:30 PM)
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Originally Posted by Dan

Bat-Santa > Superman

Confirmed!

Fixed!
MattKeil
BIGTIME TV MOGUL #2
(12-27-2006, 12:55 AM)
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That's awesome. Nice to see someone at DC recognizes the nostalgic kitsch of the Silver Age Superman/Batman hijinks.
MrDaravon
Member
(12-27-2006, 02:42 AM)
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What the **** :lol
cicero
by the sweat of thy brow
shalt thou eat bread
and you will be happy
(12-27-2006, 03:07 AM)

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