Crispin Boyer defines what a non-game is

[ElyrionX]

First, the completely absurd 4.5 that he gave to Assassin's Creed and now his wonderful writeup about why EGM did not review Endless Ocean:

Why isn't it a game? Endless Ocean gives you a sailboat and a stretch of the South Pacific to explore at 10 fathoms. What it doesn't give you is danger, conflict, enemies, a story, obstacles a health bar, bosses... you know, game stuff. You don't even have to worry about your air supply. Ever tried diving without an air guage? Diving's a supersafe sport, but if you don't follow a few simple rules, you could rupture your lungs or catch agonizing decompression sickness or just drift into a happy warm funk until you run out of air. I'm not saying EO needs to give players the bends, but it'd be nice if the occasional fish at least tried to eat you. Wait, you mean the fish don't bite? Nope, not even when you chum the water and then reach out to pet them with your Wii remote. EO's fauna - both the fish below and hte birds above the water - exist solely to satisfy your critter-molestation desires. It's be like Mario going to the Mushroom Kingdom just to grope all the Goombas and the Koopas. At least the manta ray in Super Mario Galaxy will kill ya if you ride him wrong, for cryin' out loud. Your goal here ultimately is to catalog as many fish as you can get in petting distance, stopping along the way to give dive tours to tourists who want in on the hot fin-petting action. And if that sounds more like work than a game, then bingo - That's why EO kicks off our inaugural installment of Electronic Nongaming Monthly. - Crispin Boyer

So now, any game that doesn't tries to kill you is a non-game?

[Sapiens]

He's right.


What's your problem?

[Relix]

Wow... I always thought games were about having fun with..... how times change!

[Kosma]

So now, any game that doesn't tries to kill you is a non-game?

So what are games that don't have anything punitive in them?

[f_elz]

he is wrong.

[ElyrionX]

He's right. What's your problem?

My problem is that he's wrong.

[Chris_C]

My problem is that he's wrong.

Maybe you're wrong, Crispin's an excellent game journalist.

EDIT: Just to be clear, I necessarily agree with him, but being a dick (as you were in the thread title) is uncalled for.

[Sapiens]

My problem is that he's wrong.

But you wouldn't have a problem with him if he were right?



Interesting...

[kitchenmotors]

So I guess this means they won't be reviewing Afrika either, right? Or is it just Nintendo games that can be non-games?

[McBacon]

It's their magazine, they can review what they want.

[JoeMartin]

Errr, how about no.

This is like, genrecism or something. Unconventional maybe, but a game nonetheless.

[Srider]

Basically, Endless ocean is less of a game than GAF.

At least here there is the danger of getting banned, but both of which is mostly an activity that does much of nothing.

[Kosma]

Definitions are like assholes anyway, everyone has one.

[Slo]

Wow... I always thought games were about having fun with..... how times change!

Just because you have fun doing something, doesn't make it a game.

[Maztorre]

It's their magazine, they can review what they want.

And they can pay for their idiotic policies in sales and increasing irrelevance!

[Sapiens]

You people bitch when someone gets fired for expressing his opinion, and then you bitch again when someone isn't marginalized for expressing their opinion.


If you don't like it, then start your own game mag but with with hookers and booze.

[TunaLover]

I love how the non-games produce so many meltdowns

[bigdaddygamebot]

Just because you have fun doing something, doesn't make it a game.

Like jerking off?


Without any substantial manner of challenge built into it...I don't think I'd call it a game either.

[Maztorre]

Just because you have fun doing something, doesn't make it a game.

How about when it comes in a box with "Wii" marked in the corner, and runs on a videogame system?

I don't remember any bullshit reviewing policies whenever Forever Blue was being reviewed on the PS2, and it is much the same type of game.

[evilromero]

First, the completely absurd 4.5 that he gave to Assassin's Creed and now his wonderful writeup about why EGM did not review Endless Ocean: So now, any game that doesn't tries to kill you is a non-game?

I guess Animal Crossing is a non-game. Funny how I play non-games far longer than game-games.

[JavaMava]

Is he half joking and they just not get around to it this month or what?

[Sho_Nuff82]

So is Afrika not a game now?

Crispin is losing it.

[JonathanEx]

So is Afrika not a game now? Crispin is losing it.

What's the bet that Afrika gets reviewed?

[PowerSmell]

What's the bet that Afrika gets reviewed?

"Watershed moment!"-Upcoming Shane quote?

What happens when HOME arrives?

[ElyrionX]

Maybe you're wrong, Crispin was an excellent game journalist. EDIT: Just to be clear, I necessarily agree with him, but being a dick (as you were in the thread title) is uncalled for.

Fixed.

[Weisheit]

You people bitch when someone gets fired for expressing his opinion, and then you bitch again when someone isn't marginalized for expressing their opinion. If you don't like it, then start your own game mag but with with hookers and booze.

I guess that depends on what your definition of marginalized is, it's not as if this game will lose sales because of this narrow minded idiot (not to mention he can't even get his facts about this game straight).

[flipping_heck]

So, Endless Ocean discussion to be in OT forum from now on.. ?

In any case, he is wrong.

[Night_Trekker]

This needed to be validated with a GAF thread. Yep, thank goodness someone did it.

[bigswords]

So is Afrika not a game now? Crispin is losing it.

Pokemon Snap not a game as well!!!

[Maztorre]

What's the bet that Afrika gets reviewed?

A better bet would be if EGM are still in circulation by the time Afrika is released.

[TunaLover]

Seriously, It's a good thing, I think EGM lacks a wide vision to review a game like this.

[PowerSmell]

A better bet would be if EGM are still in circulation by the time Afrika is released.

But on the cover it says that it's the no.1 videogame magazine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(!!!!!!)

[StranGER]

Like jerking off? Without any substantial manner of challenge built into it...I don't think I'd call it a game either.

oh i so disagree, you can set up a few cups and mark one for 10 points, 25, 50 and 100 and go for gold....

[commish]

Is there a more worthless collection of videogame journalists than the ones working at egm?

[Slo]

How about when it comes in a box with "Wii" marked in the corner, and runs on a videogame system?

My son has several DVDs that say "works on PS2 and XBox!" on them. They aren't games either.

I don't remember any bullshit reviewing policies whenever Forever Blue was being reviewed on the PS2, and it is much the same type of game.

No, that's not a game either.

[Infernal Monkey]

Maybe Crispin should have actually played the game rather than making up bullshit and having a teen angst spaz attack. The game does have an air supply, for one. And a story. Also missions and objectives. But I guess they aren't considered game elements anymore. They reviewed Everblue on PS2, which this is a sequel to. This generation continues to be a complete clusterfuck when it comes to reviews.

[Johnkers]

God, there's a 1UP review for those who absolutely need reviews.

[Sean]

If EGM reviewed this game they'd knock it anyway. Probably would score it a 2/10 with a single paragraph of wanna-be-funny text.

[ElyrionX]

God, there's a 1UP review for those who absolutely need reviews.

Yep. People don't pick up videogames magazines for reviews anymore.

[Sapiens]

Seriously. Who cares?


Get over it.

[TunaLover]

So, Endless Ocean discussion to be in OT forum from now on.. ? In any case, he is wrong.

Well we have Blu Ray/HDDVD discussions very often, so I guess Endless Ocean topics are allowed

[Fewr]

I didn't know 1up is the authority to tell the rest of the world what a game is and what isn't.

[HK-47]

Pokemon Snap not a game as well!!!

Awesome game oh wate guess not

[Infernal Monkey]

Seriously. Who cares? Get over it.

You obviously do considering you've posted the most in this thread.

[ram]

They reviewed Everblue on PS2, which this is a sequel to. This generation continues to be a complete clusterfuck when it comes to reviews.

i guess - you owned him at this very moment.

[solid2snake]

neo-patcher confirmed, invite him to the Bonus Round.

[Tobor]

Bitter old losers moaning and yelping about the death of their beloved games is just sad.

Guess what Crispin, you're that dude now. You know, the old guy who shows up at college parties trying to prove he's still cool. What a douche.

[Captain Glanton]

It's not EGM's job to validate your opinions.

[wayward archer]

It's not a game in a general definition of a 'game'.

BUT - that's not necessarily a bad thing.

If I had to classify it I'd say it falls within the scope of "interactive entertainment", which games fall in as well. Same genus, different species.

[ElyrionX]

Seriously. Who cares? Get over it.

You work for EGM, right?