Yup, I just hit my three year anniversary in January. I'm definitely happy, but my wife isn't a gamer and it's become increasingly obvious that my gaming time has dwindled. Our time together during the week after work is important, and I don't want to hog the 50" HDTV and rudely shove her in the bedroom just to play games. This wasn't exactly unexpected, since I'm no longer in college.
If I still have the energy after work, I'll occasionally get to play from 10-midnight. That's assuming I decide to stay up. And, considering she's sleeping during that time, online games are a no-no -- since talking and screaming into a headset would likely wake her up (we're in a fairly smallish place in Chicago). I usually just put on my comfy Sony headphones and crank the volume to something that's single player. I'd estimate I'm now gaming between 4-6 hours a week...tops.
So Married GAF, how do you do it? I don't have any kids yet, and I'm brutally aware of how that will even further change the dynamic. I'm just curious if anything else experiences this.
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Member
(02-08-2008, 06:19 PM)
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#3
Wait until you have a baby...
22:00 tp 24:00 seems to be my magic time as well where I can game...with that said, I'm a tired sonnuvabitch pretty much all the time. 5 hours a week seems to be about my average. On the rare days where my wife and little girl go out shopping...I can boost it another four or five hours. Time better spent getting caught up on lost sleep but those games aren't going to play themselves are they? |
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Member
(02-08-2008, 06:20 PM)
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#4
I'm engaged and I'm finding my gaming time to be... significantly shorter than when it was before. I'd like to hear about some tips from some GAFers who are married and find time to game.
One thing I did - bought her a DS. Bing - she's now an instant sorta kinda gamer... which is a step in the right direction due to her not liking video games at all when we met. |
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got my tag in the OT
(02-08-2008, 06:21 PM)
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#5
I'm lucky, my wife's no gamer but she's learned to love to watch cinematic games. It all started when I was playing MGS3. She glanced up every once in a while in the beginning then soon she asked if I could start over so she could watch. Now she and I "play" games together. Granted it's always some very cinematic games but it's nice.
As for your other games, portable gaming is your savior. |
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Banned
(02-08-2008, 06:21 PM)
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#6
You'll adapt. All of us in the situation have.
Get yourself a house with a basement (a.k.a. Man Cave). Buy an extra HDTV for gaming purposes and get a wireless network. That worked for me for a very long time. My wife uses the PC mostly, so I have less of a problem these days hogging the new TV upstairs. Sometimes I watch her play her Puzzle Quest because I don't care to go into the basement. Actually, ever since we got the 52" Bravia, I haven't been in the basement - but it's still a great option to have. |
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Member
(02-08-2008, 06:21 PM)
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#8
I invested in a VGA cable for my 360 so I could play on the computer in HD while the Mrs. watches her shows. However, if I want to play the PS2 or Wii, its pretty much after she's headed to bed.
Even all that said though, I probably average the same amount of time playing as the OP. Gotta be at the office by 7am... so I'm up by 5:30 which means I don't stay up late anymore except on rare occasions (which I pay for dearly the next day) / weekends. Even on the weekends though, I find myself turning in early just because I'm tired. We've got a newborn too...so that definitely adds to the equation. |
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Member
(02-08-2008, 06:22 PM)
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#9
Originally Posted by Superblatt:
My (super-awesome) sister got me a Wii for Christmas. Bought Mario Galaxy and my wife loves it and she's been playing it pretty regularly like 2-3 nights a week. She currently has waaaay more play time on the Wii than I do. The secret is that you need to find games that will interest her. For example, just about every member of the opposite sex loves Elite Beat Agents or Soduku (DS and PSP FTW!). From there, subtly introduce her to other games and genres. Obviously, if you try to get her into gaming by trying to get her to play Gears or GoW, you're setting yourself up for massive fail. |
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Member
(02-08-2008, 06:23 PM)
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#12
I dont get to play till 9pm due to the exact same reasons, tack on the fact that I have a child, its even more difficult. So I try to play from 9pm-11pm tops. Or when I have a gamebattle, I let her know in advance and its ok.
I dont have any problems volume wise. Shoot my baby falls asleep in her high chair while I am playing Rock Band lol. |
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Member
(02-08-2008, 06:24 PM)
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#14
No kids. The wife loves games. We spend probably 4 nights a week playing together, taking turns, or sometimes she just likes to watch...especially RPGs. We're not a big movie or TV house for the most part. This is our sixth year together, third as a married pair. She wasn't much into games before...GTA: Vice City changed that.
For the record, she's 23, PS3 is her favorite, and she hates most DS/Wii games with a passion. |
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Danish
(02-08-2008, 06:24 PM)
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#16
My girlfriend / soon-to-be wife loves classic gaming but isn't too keen on some of the newer ones, with the exception of Mario Galaxy and Smash Bros. Thankfully, those are two games I don't mind playing or watching her play for extensive periods of time.
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Banned
(02-08-2008, 06:25 PM)
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#17
Don't think you can't game when you have little infants either. There are plenty of times they can be sleeping on your shoulder while your gaming and things like that. My wife used to watch me play KoToR while my son fell asleep on me.
Get yourself a nice automatic little swing too. Those things are wonders. |
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Rambunctious Rogue
yet Regrets his Tag (02-08-2008, 06:25 PM)
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#18
I'm not married but living with my girlfriend, and I'm in a similar situation as you are. Between spending time with her, the job, professional development, trying to read, keeping in touch with friends, going partying, dining, researching music, family matters, personal philosophical pursuits, other hobbies/studies and trying to go to school, time is becoming an increasingly rare commodity. I'm sure others on this board also have to juggle priorities like this and can agree that it gets draining from time to time.
It doesn't help that gaming is rather time intensive. In order to take care of other things in your life, sometimes you just have to prioritize, with gaming becoming a likely sacrifice. Let's not even discuss the money issue... |
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United under V.A.G.I.N.A.
(02-08-2008, 06:27 PM)
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#22
When your partner sees your hobbies as competition then you are in trouble. find ways to involve her in your hobby or at the very least reassure her that you are not sleeping with your videogames
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Member
(02-08-2008, 06:27 PM)
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#23
Originally Posted by Dr_Cogent:
I agree. I set up a game room in a spare bedroom, and no longer have to kick my wife off of the 60" TV so I can play games. Now I just go to my game room with my 40" flatscreen and super comfortable zero gravity chair and game away. As an added plus for her, now the main family room tv is not clutterd with all of my systems, wires, and piles of games. As an added plus to me, my game room has only 1 chair. |
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Member
(02-08-2008, 06:28 PM)
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#24
My trick is keeping my systems hooked up to the main TV and making sure that I never kick my wife off the TV. That helps to keep my gaming time to only when she isn't using the TV and I have free time. That way we don't spend to much time in different rooms from each other, no man cave for me, I just game when the TV is there to be used. Aside from that I play lots of PSP during my bus commute and if I'm really hooked on a game I'll wake up an hour early (5:30) to play a little early in the morning. Since I get up before my wife anyways that's always free time for me as she is still sleeping.
And actually I'm finding that having a three month old baby girl actually leaves a little more time for gaming then before. First, it basically kills your social life for a little while. Second I'm often up late taking a feeding or two for my wife, then after the baby goes back down I can sneak in a game or two before I head back to sleep. |
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knows his self-worth.
(02-08-2008, 06:28 PM)
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#26
I've been married nearly nine years, and have two kids (ages 2 and 5). I do most of my gaming Monday-Friday after the kids go to bed, usually around 8:00pm. I play for a couple of hours, until 10 or 11.
Once a week or so my wife and I play together, puzzle games or golf on XBLA. I probably average 10 hours per week gaming. Which is about half what I would prefer, but that's life. |
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Banned
(02-08-2008, 06:28 PM)
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#27
Originally Posted by Odysseus:
 No seriously, you must find your priorities. Just because she's your wife, you don't have to give up your hobbies. I'm sure she still has her hobbies. And it might even be better if you don't spend all the weekend with her, I mean, that way, you won't get sick of each other that fast, so your relationship will last longer... if that's what you want |
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Banned
(02-08-2008, 06:31 PM)
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#30
Originally Posted by Tortfeasor:
My wife used to bitch at me huge about all of that clutter too. Thankfully controllers are now wireless. The other room approach is definitely the best solution overall though if competition for the TV is present.
Originally Posted by Pharmacy:
I'm sure you playing games while having sex with your wife is her dream too. Last edited by Dr_Cogent : 02-08-2008 at 06:34 PM. |
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Member
(02-08-2008, 06:32 PM)
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#31
Married for almost six years, two little girls...one's almost four and the other was born on the 17th of last month.
Like the poor schlub that I am (and from what I can see, many of you are schlubs as well), I don't game until after the kiddies are in bed, and the wifey is finished watching whatever god-awful tv show she enjoys on the "good" tv in the livingroom. I usually get an hour or two in a few nights a week. If my buddies with 360s aren't online at the time, however, I never go online because I know I'm going to have my ass handed to me by some 12 year old who plays said title for more hours a week than what I work. Let this be a lesson to you youngsters and single guys out there...enjoy it while you can. If you game like a single guy while you're still married, you either have a gamer for a wife, or you should start asking your friends if they know the names of any good divorce attorneys. |
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comes complete with
an Xbox nosering (02-08-2008, 06:33 PM)
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#32
Get a wife who likes games or has her own time-consuming hobbies? My wife not only plays, owns her own 360, forces me to play Rock Band,etc., but she also knits, crochets, cross-stitches and quilts. Chances are that while I'm shooting you in the face, she sitting next to me stitching something together.
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Little Big NeoContra
(02-08-2008, 06:34 PM)
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#33
Originally Posted by Felix Lighter:
You nailed it, though! Oh, yeah...get a handheld. You can play, WHILE she's watching her schmucky shows. |
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Has no PEINS
(02-08-2008, 06:35 PM)
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#34
I play either when my wife is watching something on TV that I have no interest in, or when she and the kid are asleep. I average about two hours a night of game time (usually from 10:00 to midnight), sometimes more sometimes less.
It helps that I play on my capture card and/or monitor so that we can do our own things independently |
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Rambunctious Rogue
yet Regrets his Tag (02-08-2008, 06:39 PM)
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#36
Originally Posted by Robert Ashley:
Tell me about it, my girlfriend has so many episodes of Law & Order queued up that I have to wait in line to use the TV. Good thing I have my computer in the same room and she gets distracted by her laptop. |
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Banned
(02-08-2008, 06:39 PM)
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#37
Originally Posted by Robert Ashley:
How the fuck can you concentrate on a game when your wife is reading to you? That would annoy the living hell out of me. Shut up honey! I'm trying to kill terrorists here!!! |
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Member
(02-08-2008, 06:40 PM)
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#38
You'll play less, you'll play shorter games (goodbye jrpgs, mmos), but you'll live. As I've gotten older, my tolerance for bullshit in videogames has gone waaaaay down. I want to be having fun every minute i'm playing, not just working towards some "collect x number of y" goal.
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Member
(02-08-2008, 06:42 PM)
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#39
I got lucky and married a gamer (with no desire to ever have kids). Been married over 8 years, and been together for over 14. We don't necessarily play all the same types of games, but there's enough cross over for us to play together or watch each other play. My gaming time is down to maybe 5 hours during the week, and 2~20 hours on the weekend (depends on what's going on and what release came out). But we play vs. or co-op in arcade games and such, and we each blew through Mass Effect recently. She desperately tried to pick up Halo 3, but she gets sick way too easy with FPS games.
Right now TV is cutting into my gaming time much more than anything else (well, other than work), as that's part of our "together" time since we watch a lot of the same shows. Someday I'll get to play with some GAFers in Halo 3 again. =/ |
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Banned
(02-08-2008, 06:42 PM)
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#40
My wife and two daughters are in bed between 8:30PM-8:45PM... so if I am not half-asleep at the computer... I play when they are in bed...
On the weekends... buth girls still take naps for roughly 2 hours... so if I don't crash, I play games during nap time... But now that I am really digging Devil May Cry 4... I will stay up later and play longer... Hey OP, where in Chicago? I am northeast side, near Harlem and Devon... |
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Member
(02-08-2008, 06:42 PM)
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#41
Originally Posted by ronito:
my wife is the same. She loves watching games for the story and will usually read while i am playing through a part. That and she loves singing in rock band, so i have that in. |
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Member
(02-08-2008, 06:43 PM)
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#42
I'm not married yet, but I'm ingaged, and typically I can game for an hour or so during week days, and sometimes longer on weekends. I find that the biggest difference between being a single gamer and a married/live-in partner gamer is that you have to accept that gaming is low in priority. If housework needs to be done, or if my fiance wants to spend time with me, I just shut the game off an play later. I can't just lock myself in my room and play for 10 hours straight like I did in highschool (nor do I want to).
I do benefit from having a partner who does like videogames (just not as much as me). It means that sometimes we can spend time together AND game (yay mario galaxy!). However it also means that sometimes I have to let her have the 360 to play puzzlequest or carcassonne and find something else to do (we currently are living in an apartment and have one TV). |
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Member
(02-08-2008, 06:47 PM)
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#45
Originally Posted by Robert Ashley:
This. The only game my wife likes to play is Tetris Attack. And she kicks my ass. Other than that, she enjoys being a background observer. |
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Member
(02-08-2008, 06:48 PM)
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#47
Originally Posted by Dr_Cogent:
Depends on both the game and the reading material. Lately, I've been playing through Zelda: Link to the Past on Sundays while she reads me the NY Times. That's a nice fit. And, in between the cutscenes in No More Heroes, she read Robert Reich's Supercapitalism, which was something I was only interested in half the time. That works. Anything really immersive tends not to work, Assassin's Creed being a notable exception, mainly because I needed something to distract me from all the bullshit in that game. I read to her all the time too, so I'm not bring selfish. Much. |
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Member
(02-08-2008, 06:50 PM)
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#48
Play games? Get serious. I only read about them.
Actually, having 10 and 13-year-old boys, videogames are pretty much a constant at our house. If I don't get much time in, it's more often than not because I've got my head in a book, a guitar in my hands, etc. That, and the aforementioned 10 and 13-year-olds are hogging the 360, Wii, and computer, somehow all at the same time.... |
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when is my burrito
(02-08-2008, 06:52 PM)
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#49
Remote play on the PS3/PSP + small children is a good combination.
Since my son was born two weeks ago, I haven't got much gaming time in at all but if I do, 10:00 - 12:00 at night seems to be the best time when my wife and kid are asleep. My wife is also very tolerant of letting me play long stretches of time on Saturday and Sunday as long as I let her watch her shows on TV. It's been easier these last few months because of the TV show writer's strike. YAY for writers' strikes!! |
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Member
(02-08-2008, 06:52 PM)
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#50
Originally Posted by Dr_Cogent:
Yeah, I don't think I'd dig being read to...unless it was, like, Penthouse Forums or something. And even then... Um, where am I, again? |
