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YYZ
Junior Member
(02-26-2008, 09:31 PM)
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Just to be clear, I'm talking about defecation, including wiping (just in case someone wants to make a joke about not wiping).

For me it's less than 90 seconds of course. On a good run I will be out of the washroom in less than a minute.

I don't get how some guys stay on the toilet for so many minutes in one session.

1) It stinks.
2) It's a waste of time.
3) It's generally not good for your ass.

Eat your fiber.


For those of you saying you play/read/whatever on the toilet, it smells bad so I don't see how it's better than sitting in a comfy chair and doing the same thing. I'm shocked.
Last edited by YYZ; 02-26-2008 at 09:51 PM.
MotorbreathX
Member
(02-26-2008, 09:32 PM)
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Way, way more. Being married and a kid on the way, it's perfect for me time.:D
Dreweyes
(02-26-2008, 09:34 PM)
The process of shitting is an art form for some.
Justin Bailey
------ ------
(02-26-2008, 09:35 PM)
The fuck? Pooping is one of life's great pleasures. No need to rush it.
Like the hat?
Member
(02-26-2008, 09:35 PM)
Like the hat?'s Avatar
90 minutes.
Core407
Banned
(02-26-2008, 09:35 PM)
If I don't take my morning dump, I'm not myself. In the past, I could go days without a shit but now I'll take one or two daily. Probably due to all of the water I drink.

90 seconds? Damn. I'll usually sit on the toilet for up to 15 minutes - just so I know I get it all out of my system.
itsinmyveins
Gets to pilot the crappy patrol labors
(02-26-2008, 09:36 PM)
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Under five minutes is pushing it for me.
YYZ
Junior Member
(02-26-2008, 09:36 PM)
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Originally Posted by Justin Bailey

The fuck? Pooping is one of life's great pleasures. No need to rush it.

it's not a rush, it just comes out smoothly and after cleanup, I'm done.
Fuzzery
Member
(02-26-2008, 09:36 PM)
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Originally Posted by ItsInMyVeins

Under five minutes is pushing it for me.

.
Bloodwake
Member
(02-26-2008, 09:37 PM)
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Seriously, you are fucked up if you don't take your time.

For me, it's usually 10-15 minutes. That's quite a length, but I don't like to rush things, first of all, and it gives me some leisure time to read. The toilet was designed for a man to take his time (and his shit) and enjoy it rather than just rush.
bjork
(02-26-2008, 09:37 PM)
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Hm... if I have my DS, more. If I have my PSP, less. See what I did there?
Hooker
Member
(02-26-2008, 09:38 PM)
Man, I think just taking a piss alone takes more than 90 seconds on average!
Des0lar
will learn eventually
(02-26-2008, 09:38 PM)
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Originally Posted by Bloodwake

Seriously, you are fucked up if you don't take your time.

For me, it's usually 10-15 minutes. That's quite a length, but I don't like to rush things, first of all, and it gives me some leisure time to read. The toilet was designed for a man to take his time (and his shit) and enjoy it rather than just rush.

Yes.
lil smoke
Banned
(02-26-2008, 09:39 PM)
Depends on what I've been eating the last few days. I'm not one of those guys that brings books and shit in there though. Why not just read somewhere else :lol ?
ToxicAdam
Banned
(02-26-2008, 09:39 PM)
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Long enough to read GFW or EGM cover to cover.
fistfulofmetal
Banned
(02-26-2008, 09:39 PM)
You must not be a man.
Justin Bailey
------ ------
(02-26-2008, 09:40 PM)

Originally Posted by YYZ

it's not a rush, it just comes out smoothly and after cleanup, I'm done.

Serious question, but are you a girl?
Kildace
Member
(02-26-2008, 09:42 PM)
At home : 3 4 minutes if I don't have a book, 10 to 20 if I do.
At work : at least 10, the time needed to read most of the interesting articles on the newspapers available at the entrance.

Less than 60 seconds is something I've probably never done except in cases of extreme emergency.
Johnny Ryall
Member
(02-26-2008, 09:42 PM)
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You know I've never had a timed run. I'm fairly quick I guess.
LakeEarth
Member
(02-26-2008, 09:43 PM)
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Depends on how long I've been holding it in.
fatigues_gasolini
Member
(02-26-2008, 09:43 PM)
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I take 10 to 15 minutes out of necessity. When I dump, I dump big. Big enough to be a pound or two lighter after the experience.
MotorbreathX
Member
(02-26-2008, 09:44 PM)
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Originally Posted by ToxicAdam

Long enough to read GFW or EGM cover to cover.

So about 95 to 100 seconds? Including ads? 10-15 minutes.


But yes, pooping is to be enjoyed. When my legs go numb it's usually time to go.
methane47
Member
(02-26-2008, 09:44 PM)
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I'm like a tactical bomber when it comes to number 2s

I barely touch the toilet seat... I like to be in and out as fast as possible..

I am usually in and out in 90 seconds or less
Sh0k
Member
(02-26-2008, 09:44 PM)
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It takes me exactly 6 minutes, that's the length of a Time Attack mode of ZooKeeper for the Nintendo DS.
satori
Member
(02-26-2008, 09:45 PM)
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WTH seconds and the toilet does not mix. 10-20 min for me....matter of fact I need to go right now. see you in 15 min (at work)
JohnTinker
Limbaugh Parrot
(02-26-2008, 09:45 PM)
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Thats where I've beaten all of the previous Advance Wars games, and where I raised most of my Pokemon in Pearl.
Costanza
Banned
(02-26-2008, 09:45 PM)
20-30 minutes
Chamber
love on your sleeve
(02-26-2008, 09:45 PM)
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90 seconds? :lol
sorryaboutdresden
Member
(02-26-2008, 09:46 PM)
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Definitely way more than 90 seconds. I keep a book in the bathroom for a reason :D
S. L.
Member
(02-26-2008, 09:47 PM)
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more like 15 minutes
nothing better than playing psp or reading a book while taking a dump
lil smoke
Banned
(02-26-2008, 09:49 PM)

Originally Posted by S. L.

more like 15 minutes
nothing better than playing psp or reading a book while taking a dump

Especially after all that damn pizza you eat all day.
Flo_Evans
One crazy mofo
Saved by a Harley dude
(02-26-2008, 09:51 PM)
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depends on what I ate/drank the night before.
YYZ
Junior Member
(02-26-2008, 09:51 PM)
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Wow you guys must eat terribly. And no, I'm not a girl for whoever asked.
TheWolf
Banned
(02-26-2008, 09:52 PM)
i never understood how people could have time to read when shitting. it's like, are you TRYING to shit? i sit down, and it's out in 30 seconds.
Google
Member
(02-26-2008, 09:52 PM)
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Here's one for you boys.

I take most of my dumps at work, and I'm pretty sure this is the norm (because it allows us all to be in the office 'working' yet we're actually in the toilets, reading the paper).
Karakand
named a GAFfer's kid.
Yeah. I said Holy Shit too.
(02-26-2008, 09:52 PM)
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Way more than 90 seconds. :lol :lol

As for the smell... judicious use of the courtesy flush FTW.
Dali
(02-26-2008, 09:55 PM)
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On average... hmmm... I never really timed myself but definitely less than five minutes. I don't know if it's as low as 90 seconds, but I generally do my business then leave.
Google
Member
(02-26-2008, 09:55 PM)
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Originally Posted by TheWolf

i never understood how people could have time to read when shitting. it's like, are you TRYING to shit? i sit down, and it's out in 30 seconds.

What are you talking about?

People don't shit for the full 15 minutes, it's 30 seconds of shit, followed by 15 minutes of leisure time.
Amir0x
demodded, not denutted
(02-26-2008, 09:56 PM)
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Shit, I take at least ten minutes, sometimes fifteen. I get sidetracked by magazines, beating my dick, handhelds, just relaxing
MotorbreathX
Member
(02-26-2008, 10:07 PM)
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Originally Posted by Google

Here's one for you boys.

I take most of my dumps at work, and I'm pretty sure this is the norm (because it allows us all to be in the office 'working' yet we're actually in the toilets, reading the paper).

I hate crapping in public places. I just don't feel comfortable. I like my home throne personally. Pooping at my work just makes me think of pressing my ass checks against another dudes. Even using toilet paper to add a buffer is too much work for what is supposed to be a relaxing time. The only time is in dire situations when it's coming out regardless. Usually in an explosive manner.
fistfulofmetal
Banned
(02-26-2008, 10:08 PM)
Whenever I get the new PSM, I go straight to the toilet.

I don't know why I find reading it so much more enjoyable when I'm releasing my bowels.
Google
Member
(02-26-2008, 10:09 PM)
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Originally Posted by MotorbreathX

I hate crapping in public places. I just don't feel comfortable. I like my home throne personally. Pooping at my work just makes me think of pressing my ass checks against another dudes. Even using toilet paper to add a buffer is too much work for what is supposed to be a relaxing time. The only time is in dire situations when it's coming out regardless. Usually in an explosive manner.

Really?

For some reason, I cant get comfortable at home - but at work it's strangely relaxing.

Its the break from staring at a computer screen, whereas shitting at home is like a chore getting in the way of non work stuff...
WrikaWrek
Banned
(02-26-2008, 10:09 PM)
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I like to take my time, me and the toilet are quite found of one another, say 10/15 min, sometimes 30 minutes.

Call me the toilet lover.

Here's the kicker, i flush and then i stay...
bill0527
um, I'll be right back
(02-26-2008, 10:13 PM)
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I'm usually good for around the 20 minute mark. I'm married and have kids so its an awesome get away for me. Sometimes I grab the DS and make it a 30 minute trip. If the games any good, I'll even go 3-4 times that day and tell my wife I've got diarrhea. I have been known to sit on the shitter up to an hour, especially if I'm playing Age of Empires on the DS. And yes, my wife thinks I have some kind of intestinal problem.
RumpledForeskin
Banned
(02-26-2008, 10:16 PM)
I poop in under 45 secs of stepping into the bathroom. That include my disrobing, yes I Constanza my poops. After that I like to sit around and smell my poops.
rallaren
Member
(02-26-2008, 10:16 PM)
Not needing to wipe my ass after creaming is like a once-in-a-year experience for me. I'm always like looking at the paper and like "wtf? it's just white? did I miss my fucking ass?" Then I just realise that it's one of those rare no-need-to-wipe moments, and I'm happy for the rest of the day.

Otherwise I sit on the can for maybe 5-10 mins on average I think. I rarely get all the shit out at once.

Edit: The pooping is always the fast part. Doesn't take much longer than peeing I think. Ok a bit longer..
Last edited by rallaren; 02-26-2008 at 10:25 PM.
zon
Member
(02-26-2008, 10:18 PM)
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Usually between 5-10 minutes, I'm not in a rush and I like to wipe thoroughly.
terrene
Banned
(02-26-2008, 10:21 PM)

Originally Posted by fistfulofmetal

Whenever I get the new PSM, I go straight to the toilet.

I don't know why I find reading it so much more enjoyable when I'm releasing my bowels.

I loled.
rallaren
Member
(02-26-2008, 10:21 PM)

Originally Posted by zon

Usually between 5-10 minutes, I'm not in a rush and I like to wipe thoroughly.

Same. I wipe until I can't see anything brown on the paper ffs! I also wet the paper so I'm sure. It's just logical that wiping with a wet paper it gets cleaner than dry.
superbank
The definition of front-butt.
(02-26-2008, 10:25 PM)
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I'm a speed shitter. 2 minutes or less usually.

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