I've watched the Twilight movie like 9 times now - Page 4

Htown · (04-10-2009, 05:31 AM)

The movie looks like one of the WB's worst teen dramas, with an added blue filter over everything.

I couldn't believe what I was watching in that youtube link, because it literally plays like a SPOOF of that kind of movie.

I mean, THIS
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQajA...eature=related

is to vampires

as THIS
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U8pJh...e=channel_page

is to Stargate.

Count Dookkake · 05:49 AM

Here are some good vampire movies that play fast-and-loose with the rules and/or iconography, but are not overrated by critics or commonly known:

Fascination
Cronos
Hellraiser crypto-vampire
Blood for Dracula
Let's Scare Jessica to Death
Katie Tippel Depending on how you interpret the symbolism of the last shot
Society crypto-vampire
Ganja and Hess
Blacula Seriously worth watching. One of the first, if not the first, sexy tragic Drac flicks.

EDIT- Oh yeah and...

Body Double
Star Trek: First Contact
Star Trek: Nemesis YMMV

_dementia · (04-10-2009, 05:32 AM)

Originally Posted by Fersis:

He is banned i think.

why is he banned?

That Blade pic is awesome

Barrage · (04-10-2009, 05:34 AM)

To compare the glory of Blacula to Twilight is like comparing an erotic massgage to being ass-fucked by a chainsaw.

I enjoy the Blacula trailer more then the entire hierarchy of Twilight (movies, books, etc.)

In fact, whenever I read a thread about Twilight, I feel so soiled afterwards I have to watch a movie with an Alpha male to feel whole again.

The Wild One it is!

FlightOfHeaven · (04-10-2009, 05:35 AM)

I just watched the clip.

I see no difference from them being some sort of superhero. Outside of them being pale, I saw no indication that they are vampires.

Like others have stated, they are vampires in name only, and the author is lazy for using them.

KidGalactus · (04-10-2009, 05:37 AM)

Originally Posted by CountDookie:

Panache is a cool word, but did you mean to say pastiche?

Why yes... yes I did.

Originally Posted by Halycon:

There are many vampire myths but blood drinking is probably the most common trait to all of them. The thing is, in all these depictions of vampires they are clearly evil or at least malevolent towards people.

The main vampires in Twilight are just prettier humans with superpowers who glow in the sunlight. Meyers could've made them aliens or a whole new mythological creature called "pugwurffles" and it would make absolutely no difference storywise. She's only invoking the romantic connotations associated with "vampires" while throwing the rest of the concept out the door.

It's pandering.

Hey man, I'm not sticking up for twilight here... in FACT I'm disagreeing with the OP, who stated that vampires don't need to sleep... it's just that I also felt the need to ground my statement by saying that vampires legends are a great many things.

Rorschach · (04-10-2009, 05:38 AM)

Originally Posted by somesang:

http://img23.imageshack.us/img23/1954/gnarstache01.jpg

I would pay good money to watch this play out.

Originally Posted by Ford Prefect:

lol reefer bikini

Uncle · (04-10-2009, 05:42 AM)

Originally Posted by Kyoufu:

Kristen Stewart is so beautiful. Her acting was so lovely that she is now on top of my favourite female actresses. She also makes me like brunettes again!

A guy?

Originally Posted by Kyoufu:

But its Jasper who makes me pour down waterfalls inbetween my legs.

A girl.

Originally Posted by Kyoufu:

The baseball scene where he flips the bat around a few times with just one hand and then swings IS SOOOOOOO DREAMY and I'm not even gay.

No, a guy.

...Wait did he just say that he peed in his pants while watching this movie?

Dan · (04-10-2009, 05:44 AM)

Kristen Stewart is a cinematic tranquilizer (TM). Even still pictures of her make me want to fall asleep.

G-Fex · (04-10-2009, 05:48 AM)

Originally Posted by Dan:

Kristen Stewart is a cinematic tranquilizer (TM). Even still pictures of her make me want to fall asleep.

she does always look stoned, maybe she is then.

idahoblue · (04-10-2009, 05:53 AM)

Originally Posted by Uncle:

A guy?

A girl.

No, a guy.

...Wait did he just say that he peed in his pants while watching this movie?

I think this might be a case of a little from column A and a little from column B.

Eteric Rice · (04-10-2009, 05:54 AM)

Originally Posted by G-Fex:

she does always look stoned, maybe she is then.

She is.

joshcryer · (04-10-2009, 05:56 AM)

Originally Posted by Buttchin:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DKNVpdW3__I

for those who think there is only one person of value on escapistmagazines website

Not meant for original poster.

Wow that is awesome.

thefit · (04-10-2009, 06:10 AM)

My wife made me watch it with her...I wanted to bail to the internets after the first 5 minutes >:( The whole things runs like an extended teenage angst TV show, like one of those sissy WB shows only it goes on FOREVER!

shintoki · (04-10-2009, 06:22 AM)

I'm actually watching this right now...this thread inspired me too.

And I have one thing to say

MR. SPARKLE!
I need an Ed version of MR. Sparkle!

Fafalada · (04-10-2009, 06:38 AM)

Originally Posted by Kyoufu:

I wonder if you guys can guess what my most watched Vampire movie is. Maybe I'll make a thread about it.

Queen of the Damned?

Forkball · (04-10-2009, 06:42 AM)

Twilight isn't as bad as everyone says it is. Yes it does have some cringe worthy and unintentionally hilarious moments, but the film is actually very watchable. I wouldn't recommend buying the DVD or anything, but if it comes on cable and you have nothing to do, it's worth a watch. Also the bad guy gets jacked up in a pretty gruesome way.

Dark Stalkers · (04-10-2009, 06:44 AM)

Originally Posted by Kyoufu:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQajA...eature=related Skip to 1:55 for the badassery!

Is this supposed to be some cheesy ass 80's teen flick?

Big-E · (04-10-2009, 07:07 AM)

That baseball scene was hilarious. I loved how the pitcher was trying to be Bronson Arroyo with her delivery. I need to watch this movie one day for the laughs.

legend166 · (04-10-2009, 07:15 AM)

I've never even seen the movie but are people trying to say Kristen Stewart is ugly?

whaaaaaaaaaaa

TOM f'N CRUISE · (04-10-2009, 07:41 AM)

Originally Posted by Eteric Rice:

She is.

if she was dumb enough to be in that movie hopefully i can pack her bowl so i can pack her ass

G-Fex · (04-10-2009, 07:44 AM)

Originally Posted by legend166:

I've never even seen the movie but are people trying to say Kristen Stewart is ugly?

whaaaaaaaaaaa

Ugly? nah just not very nice to look at for two hours. More screen time for Alice!

ZombieSupaStar · (04-10-2009, 07:59 AM)

Originally Posted by legend166:

I've never even seen the movie but are people trying to say Kristen Stewart is ugly?

whaaaaaaaaaaa

well she looks less like a man now than in panic room. better?

that short hair girl in the baseball pics is kinda cute tho

muntersaur · (04-10-2009, 09:55 AM)

Originally Posted by Count Dookkake:

Here are some good vampire movies that play fast-and-loose with the rules and/or iconography, but are not overrated by critics or commonly known:

Fascination
Cronos
Hellraiser crypto-vampire
Blood for Dracula
Let's Scare Jessica to Death
Katie Tippel Depending on how you interpret the symbolism of the last shot
Society crypto-vampire
Ganja and Hess
Blacula Seriously worth watching. One of the first, if not the first, sexy tragic Drac flicks.

EDIT- Oh yeah and...

Body Double
Star Trek: First Contact
Star Trek: Nemesis YMMV

Some interesting inclusions in this... I'll add 'Martin' and 'Mr. Vampire' to it. I haven't seen it but i'll assume that 'The Addiction' fits the bill as well. If you haven't seen any Chinese vampire films you must, they're hopping mad!

I personally don't care about mythos being broken otherwise genre films would become stale very quickly (that's why I don't care that zombies have begun to run) and only ask that the film is good. That clip from 'Twilight' is one of the worst things that I have ever seen.

Dilly · 05:21 PM

Originally Posted by Kyoufu:

Kristen Stewart is so beautiful. Her acting was so lovely that she is now on top of my favourite female actresses. She also makes me like brunettes again!

But its Jasper who makes me pour down waterfalls inbetween my legs. The baseball scene where he flips the bat around a few times with just one hand and then swings IS SOOOOOOO DREAMY and I'm not even gay. Its just badass.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQajA...eature=related Skip to 1:55 for the badassery!

For all the hate that Twilight gets here I think the movie is amazing and I'm not afraid to admit it. I've always been into Vampire stories and this one is no different.

Can't wait for the next movie in November!

Wait, they used Muse in that movie?

Noononononoonononononnooo

It doesn't even fit the scene.

Eteric Rice · (04-10-2009, 10:24 AM)

As much as I hate this shit.

Alice.

I'd hit it like the fist of an angry god.

dmshaposv · (04-10-2009, 10:42 AM)

Kristen Stewart always has that weird constipated slutty look on her face.

catfish · (04-10-2009, 10:53 AM)

Originally Posted by Kyoufu:

But its Jasper who makes me pour down waterfalls inbetween my legs. ....and I'm not even gay.

But you might be a female?

Dabookerman · (04-10-2009, 10:53 AM)

Christ how much is she airbrushed if she really is that ugly?

I'm tempted to watch this just to see how bad it is. I kinda see it as Heroes, but vampires.

I love me some vampires, but christ I can't stand films like that. Pretty Boy vampires who brood all the fucking time.

Alucard from CV is the best pretty Vampire (where it makes sense why he is so)

Alucard from Hellsing is a fucking bad ass.

CiSTM · 11:22 AM

Originally Posted by Raxus:

Here are some cliff notes for your 10th viewing.

Oh man, It's been a long time since I laughed this lot. Thanks for the link.

Quote:

KRISTEN wakes up to find ROBERT watching her sleep.

KRISTEN STEWART

Holy fucking shit! If you weren't so hot I'd have you arrested! How long have you been doing this?

ROBERT PATTINSON

2 months.

KRISTEN STEWART

But I've only lived here one month according to the script.

ROBERT PATTINSN

Yeah, the script was written in six weeks. Don't get hung up on shit like that.

Quote:

BILLY BURKE

So I hear you're a 100-years-old. And interested in my 17-year-old daughter. So, mathematically that's like, what, a 40-year-old dating a 6-year-old?

ROBERT PATTINSON

Ummmmmmmm...

BILLY BURKE

Yeah, so my friend Chris Hansen would like you to have a seat right over here.

Kyoufu · (04-10-2009, 04:49 PM)

Originally Posted by Fafalada:

Queen of the Damned?

Hell yes. Nice guess. It gets alot of hate (understandably so) but I still loved it.

Forceatowulf · (04-10-2009, 05:11 PM)

Originally Posted by Kyoufu:

But its Jasper who makes me pour down waterfalls inbetween my legs. The baseball scene where he flips the bat around a few times with just one hand and then swings IS SOOOOOOO DREAMY and I'm not even gay. Its just badass.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQajA...eature=related Skip to 1:55 for the badassery!

... that was fucking garbage.

pnjtony · (04-10-2009, 05:12 PM)

Ever since I heard that report that the twilight guy never showers and has terrible body odor as a result, that's all I can think about when I see him...Sometimes I can actually smell BO.

I don't really have twilight hate or anything. I just assumed it was just for 13 year old girls and obviously not directed at me.

Ceres · (04-10-2009, 05:17 PM)

I just find it funny that Mike Dexter plays the vamp daddy (and has blond hair).

"Witness Exhibit A: My 8th Grade science project - a working rain forest. Mike Dexter threw it out a third story window. It rains here no more. Witness Exhibit B: An eye patch I wore for a month after Mike beaned me with a raisin in home ec. My parents took me to a 3D film. I saw no third dimension. And of course, how could I forget the pudding incident? I know no one else has. Well gentlemen, tonight, Mike Dexter will know humiliation. Tonight Mike Dexter will know ridicule. Tonight is the night we fight back. Tonight is our independence night."

Xeke · (04-10-2009, 05:20 PM)

Originally Posted by RubxQub:

You can't have her. Clearly Xeke's already all up in that.

Now thats hot.

Gomu Gomu · (04-10-2009, 05:57 PM)

Originally Posted by Kyoufu:

Kristen Stewart is so beautiful. Her acting was so lovely that she is now on top of my favourite female actresses. She also makes me like brunettes again!

But its Jasper who makes me pour down waterfalls inbetween my legs. The baseball scene where he flips the bat around a few times with just one hand and then swings IS SOOOOOOO DREAMY and I'm not even gay. Its just badass.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQajA...eature=related Skip to 1:55 for the badassery!

For all the hate that Twilight gets here I think the movie is amazing and I'm not afraid to admit it. I've always been into Vampire stories and this one is no different.

Can't wait for the next movie in November!

Zhengi · (04-10-2009, 06:12 PM)

I saw the movie last weekend and I was like, "What the F is this?"

I really hate how movies try to hype up the bad guy as being this bad ass mfer and then when it comes time to the actual showdown, he gets his ass handed to him easily. This could have been a better movie.

Vinci · (04-10-2009, 06:18 PM)

Still not going to see this movie, but to be fair to the OP, that baseball bat thing in the clip is pretty badass. I won't lie.

Althane · (04-10-2009, 06:21 PM)

Originally Posted by Forceatowulf:

... that was fucking garbage.

The music reminds me of Vampire: The Masquerade: Bloodlines: Revenge of the Colon: The Colon Strikes Back.

When you go into a club, and they have that shit music playing.

The acting itself is terrible. And the whole scene plays... just ick.

erlim · (04-10-2009, 06:23 PM)

Kristin Stewart hot or not herself, really really makes marijuana more attractive. Did you see Adventureland? Man what a fun fun summer those kids had---way better than vampire baseball. But they were all perpetually smoking pot, and if you ask my personal opinion, I'd rather be stoned than a vampire.

Koshiba · (04-10-2009, 07:08 PM)

I stopped watching the movie probably barely halfway through.. I never do that. :/

Fenderputty · (04-10-2009, 07:10 PM)

Originally Posted by Kyoufu:

But its Jasper who makes me pour down waterfalls inbetween my legs. The baseball scene where he flips the bat around a few times with just one hand and then swings IS SOOOOOOO DREAMY and I'm not even gay. Its just badass.

I was wondering if this was a joke thread or not until I read that.

Althane · (04-10-2009, 07:14 PM)

Originally Posted by Htown:

as THIS
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U8pJh...e=channel_page

is to Stargate.

Hey, I would TOTALLY watch that. For all of one episode.

Or so.

Maybe five minutes.

They cut it off at the right time.

(that episode was friggin' awesome)

Hari Seldon · (04-10-2009, 07:18 PM)

Originally Posted by thefit:

My wife made me watch it with her...I wanted to bail to the internets after the first 5 minutes >:( The whole things runs like an extended teenage angst TV show, like one of those sissy WB shows only it goes on FOREVER!

My wife rented it also. I got through 2 mins.

THIS is a teenage vampire movie worth seeing:

Kyoufu · (04-10-2009, 07:18 PM)

Originally Posted by Fenderputty:

I was wondering if this was a joke thread or not until I read that.

I'm being serious though.....

Jasper is a total badass.

Originally Posted by Koshiba:

I stopped watching the movie probably barely halfway through.. I never do that. :/

Whatever girl you have hentai parties. :/

Koshiba · (04-10-2009, 07:21 PM)

Originally Posted by Kyoufu:

Whatever girl you have hentai parties. :/

Nah, my friend Nissa has Hentai parties and I've just gone to a few. =p Anyway, Didn't like Twilight at all. Thought it was incredibly boring and annoying. I don't think I got to the baseball part.

Kyoufu · (04-10-2009, 07:23 PM)

Originally Posted by Koshiba:

Nah, my friend Nissa has Hentai parties and I've just gone to a few. =p Anyway, Didn't like Twilight at all. Thought it was incredibly boring and annoying. I don't think I got to the baseball part.

We can never be friends, let alone lovers.

Fenderputty · (04-10-2009, 07:26 PM)

Lost Boys Rocked. Kiefer is the man.

Quote:

I'm being serious though.....

Jasper is a total badass.

Wait ... you were actually being serious.

I totally thought you made this thread to laugh at all the people who agreed with the OP.

Kyoufu · (04-10-2009, 07:30 PM)

Originally Posted by Fenderputty:

Lost Boys Rocked. Kiefer is the man.

Wait ... you were actually being serious.

I totally thought you made this thread to laugh at all the people who agreed with the OP.

Quite the opposite. This thread is for people who are too scared to admit they like Twilight because they know the GAF wolves would descend onto them.

See that? I made a reference to the movie. I'm going to watch it again tonight.

ZombieSupaStar · (04-10-2009, 07:38 PM)

wait they dont have fangs?

how are these even called vampires... they are just superheros that glitter?

i demand the cast of office space are vampires. ....because uh.....they work in an office in 1999!