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SpacLock
Member
(06-27-2009, 07:11 PM)
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So last night I was hanging out and drinking with a few buddies when I decided to bring the gathering inside to relax in some air conditioning. The night was winding down so I boot up the old Xbox to stream some South Park episodes through Netflix. Before I found the Netflix tab I noticed a green ring glowing under my television. It was my trusty Xbox camera that I thought would have a decent future when I purchased it. After noticing it I decided to load Uno real fast hoping that it would be more entertaining than sitting around watching cartoons. It was.

I bring up the list of rooms to join and click on the first name I see. It was something like XxxKazenonexxX or whatever. The first thing that comes to mind when you see a name with X's and shit is that the dude is some kind of nerdy hardcore gamer... Right? Entering the room I expected to see a smaller guy with glasses, not this giant cock on my screen. It was just chilling there. Flaccid and everything. The guy actually seemed relaxed just chilling there with his dick hanging out. I think he was on the phone with someone too. I look to the right of the screen and this other dude is beating off. Before I could say anything I was booted from the room.

After getting an eye full of dick I was hoping to at least see some titties, so the next room I joined was hosted by WhoreXChick or something similar. As soon as I connect I see tits (cool) followed by more dudes jacking off. They were telling her what to do (like a live cam show you'd see on a porn site) while they were beating off. They booted me after about 30 seconds. Probably because my camera didn't have a dick on it.

The next room I joined had this dude laying on his bed in short red shorts, a younger girl, and a creepy dude with a mustache and hair passed his shoulders. Seemed pretty normal until the dude lying on the bed start jacking off. Rather than exposing his penis he just put his hands down his pants and went to town. The strange thing is that the other two people in the room seemed to ignore the fact that some dude was lying down and beating off. Since nobody was doing anything about it and I wasn't getting kicked from this room I decided to plug in the mic. I don't remember what I said exactly, but I do remember that we carried on a rather normal conversation. He mentioned that he was masturbating over the chick that was in the room even though she wasn't paying attention to anyone in it. It was kind of like a David Lynch film. I drew an accurate picture of the dude in red shorts below.



The final room I joined was completely normal. Everyone was having a good time playing Uno. Then after about 2 minutes this dude asked me if I was going to pull my dick out. After saying no I was booted from the room.

You would think that Uno would be monitored more closely.

tl;dr: Play Uno on Friday after 1am EST if you want to see people masturbate on camera.

I did join other rooms with people stripping but I was booted instantly. I'm also pretty sure that if I had my penis out I wouldn't have been booted from most of the rooms and people would be amazed by it's size.
DanteFox
Meticulously designed by GodManPig to be a few sticks short of a teepee.
(06-27-2009, 07:13 PM)
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Jump In.
timmy
Member
(06-27-2009, 07:15 PM)
brb booting up uno.
Matrix
LeBron loves his girlfriend. There is no other woman in the world he’d rather have. The problem is, Dwyane’s not a woman.
(06-27-2009, 07:17 PM)
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what the shit
Eteric Rice
Junior Member
(06-27-2009, 07:19 PM)
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Iwata: *laughs*

In all seriousness, I hate when people do this shit. It makes parents even more paranoid about their kids being online.
Ronabo
Member
(06-27-2009, 07:20 PM)
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Best thread in quite some time.
bearcatjosh
Member
(06-27-2009, 07:21 PM)
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I'm a really laid back guy, but this kind of stuff MUST be monitored. I don't want to see it, and I would hate for kids to see it.
D4Danger
Member
(06-27-2009, 07:24 PM)
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so you were whispering sweet nothings to some dude while he was jerking it?
JBuccCP
Member
(06-27-2009, 07:24 PM)
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I can't believe people would just do this shit in public matches. Host a private match with your perverted friends and then to go town.
McBacon
SHOOTY McRAD DICK
(06-27-2009, 07:25 PM)
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If you don't want kids to see it, disable video in the options and put a password on the parental options.

That way you don't need to hire a fucking Penis Police Force
PepsimanVsJoe
(06-27-2009, 07:25 PM)
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Between me and my little brother we've logged somewhere in the realm of 100 hours on Uno yet not once did either of us see a dick. Saw a picture of an enormous naked woman once but that was it.
AMUSIX
Member
(06-27-2009, 07:28 PM)
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Originally Posted by JBuccCP

I can't believe people would just do this shit in public matches. Host a private match with your perverted friends and then to go town.

The public thing is part of the excitement for them. A private match (exposing themselves to people they know) holds no interest.
xbhaskarx
(06-27-2009, 07:28 PM)
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It was something like XxxKazenonexxX or whatever.

If you're really worried about kids getting traumatized by these people you could always report them to MS by filing a complaint.
And you should know their exact gamertags: Xbox button -> Friends -> Players.
slidewinder
Banned
(06-27-2009, 07:29 PM)
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Seems very unlikely.
letsbereasonable
Member
(06-27-2009, 07:30 PM)

Originally Posted by SpacLock

XxxKazenonexxX

:lol :lol :lol

did you discover the truth?
Pai Pai Master
Member
(06-27-2009, 07:35 PM)
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Holy shit Kazenone? I don't habeeb you, OP.
SapientWolf
Member
(06-27-2009, 07:41 PM)
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Originally Posted by slidewinder

Seems very unlikely.

Bored, sexually frustrated men parading their junk on XBL? Sounds outlandish.
revolverjgw
(06-27-2009, 07:41 PM)
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Kazenone is like on a mission to have a negative effect on the lives of every Gaffer
CTLance
(06-27-2009, 07:43 PM)
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I am waiting for the "Pictures of the Twins/Starfish/Manberries" Penny-Arcade comic.
Nose Master
Member
(06-27-2009, 07:44 PM)
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Uno is a fucking cesspool for shit like this. GB said they had some russian guy doing coke during a game once :lol
Jive Turkey
Member
(06-27-2009, 07:47 PM)
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Originally Posted by revolverjgw

Kazenone is like on a mission to have a negative effect on the lives of every Gaffer

Nah he just wants everybody omn GAF to see his junk.
CTLance
(06-27-2009, 07:48 PM)
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Ah fuck this.

FOUR YEARS AGO.

[IMG]http://i43.************/mtknba.jpg[/IMG]
SapientWolf
Member
(06-27-2009, 07:50 PM)
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Originally Posted by Jive Turkey

Nah he just wants everybody omn GAF to see his junk.

Maybe Kazenone's junk is life affirming. Then everyone who sees it will go out and try to make a positive difference in someone's life.
xS1TH L0RDx
Banned
(06-27-2009, 07:50 PM)
Kazenone:lol :lol :lol
SpacLock
Member
(06-27-2009, 08:09 PM)
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Originally Posted by slidewinder

Seems very unlikely.

I've never played Uno that late before so I'm not sure how often it's like that. Try playing it tonight if you don't believe me.
Tntnnbltn
Member
(06-27-2009, 08:10 PM)
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Originally Posted by SpacLock

XxxKazenonexxX

But did he scratch your itch for a good game of Uno?
"God's Beard!"
(06-27-2009, 08:18 PM)
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It's a legitimate tactic.
grap3fruitman
Member
(06-27-2009, 08:20 PM)
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My first and last time playing Uno I saw an ugly fat black couple perform oral sex on each other. Yeah, no...
Crumpet Trumpet
Trumpet Strumpet
(06-27-2009, 08:20 PM)
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Originally Posted by xS1TH L0RDx

Kazenone:lol :lol :lol

He's discovered the truth!
dskillzhtown
keep your strippers out of my American football
(06-27-2009, 08:32 PM)

Originally Posted by McBacon

If you don't want kids to see it, disable video in the options and put a password on the parental options.

That way you don't need to hire a fucking Penis Police Force


Yup, I wonder how many parents even know parental controls exist?

I have been playing UNO since the day it was released on XBLA, I have never seen any of these random j/o scenes. I have read numerous accounts of stuff like this, but just bever experienced it. Maybe this has something to do with the phenomenal UNO sales.


Originally Posted by grap3fruitman

My first and last time playing Uno I saw an ugly fat black couple perform oral sex on each other. Yeah, no...


You know you can play without viewing the cams of other people, right?
CrunchinJelly
formerly cjelly
(06-27-2009, 08:38 PM)
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Video of people not on your friends list is disabled by default.

You had to enable it to see the cock.
RavenFox
Banned
(06-27-2009, 08:39 PM)
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Damn sorry about that.
SpacLock
Member
(06-27-2009, 08:48 PM)
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Originally Posted by cjelly

Video of people not on your friends list is disabled by default.

You had to enable it to see the cock.

Let this be a reminder to the people who dare to venture tonight.
Coldsnap
Member
(06-27-2009, 08:53 PM)
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Isn't that how you play Uno??
Jtrizzy
Junior Member
(06-27-2009, 08:59 PM)
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Beef Whistle? :lol That just made my day.
BobFromPikeCreek
I am hard
yet I am tender
(06-27-2009, 09:01 PM)
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Originally Posted by SpacLock

XxxKazenonexxX

:lol It can't be.
Arpharmd B
Banned
(06-27-2009, 09:18 PM)

Originally Posted by PepsimanVsJoe

Between me and my little brother we've logged somewhere in the realm of 100 hours on Uno yet not once did either of us see a dick. Saw a picture of an enormous naked woman once but that was it.

Dude that is crazy I used to get on there and every other room was porno.

I see nothing has changed since 2007 and the last time I logged into Uno. If it wasn't porno it was a room of gang bangers. Seriously cannot tell you how many like thugs and shit were in Uno.

Who would of thought Uno would be synonomys with guns, gangs, and porno. Never change, Uno, never change.
bigcheese
Member
(06-27-2009, 09:20 PM)
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Holy Shit. Now I know what to do with these MS points I have.
GriffD17
Member
(06-27-2009, 09:21 PM)
Experiences galore on Uno. Have gotten my money out of that camera and then some.

It's a bit sad when you see a fellow toking up and you can hear a child crying in the background.
Cynar
Member
(06-27-2009, 09:22 PM)
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Originally Posted by cjelly

Video of people not on your friends list is disabled by default.

You had to enable it to see the cock.

:lol this whole thread explains why it feels like forever for people to take their turn on uno. holy shit. You learn something new everyday I guess.
RBH
Member
(06-27-2009, 09:24 PM)
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I wonder if this same sort of thing happens on Uno Rush as well....
SapientWolf
Member
(06-27-2009, 10:01 PM)
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Originally Posted by RBH

I wonder if this same sort of thing happens on Uno Rush as well....

The pace is too fast. You don't have enough to time to engage in hand to gland combat.
SpacLock
Member
(06-27-2009, 11:38 PM)
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Originally Posted by GriffD17

Experiences galore on Uno. Have gotten my money out of that camera and then some.

It's a bit sad when you see a fellow toking up and you can hear a child crying in the background.

Someone was hitting the largest bong I have ever seen before in one of the rooms.
Gary Whitta
(06-27-2009, 11:45 PM)
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It's ironic because it's such an innocent and family friendly game, but the reality is that UNO is the asshole of Xbox Live. It's impossible to play for more than a few minutes without seeing something utterly disgusting on someone's cam. I stopped playing ages ago because it just made me hate humanity - or what passes for humanity on XBL anyway.
Proc
Member
(06-27-2009, 11:48 PM)
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camera supported games are such a horrible idea
MechDX
Member
(06-27-2009, 11:49 PM)
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Originally Posted by Gary Whitta

It's ironic because it's such an innocent and family friendly game, but the reality is that UNO is the asshole of Xbox Live. It's impossible to play for more than a few minutes without seeing something utterly disgusting on someone's cam. I stopped playing ages ago because it just made me hate humanity - or what passes for humanity on XBL anyway.


Turn off the camera or set it to friends only with cameras. I play ranked matches and never get this shit.
Adam Prime
hates soccer, is Mexican
(06-27-2009, 11:56 PM)
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That is the weirdest shit I've ever heard.... I had no idea such a thing happened on XBL.
acm2000
(06-28-2009, 12:05 AM)
and this my friends, is why UNO XBLA is the best fucking game ever

seriously, ive never had so many laughs with a game before in my life

one time i had a naked chick on cam, with her bf there too, the other 2 players were groups of guys, the chicks bf got his dick out for no reason while playing, so the other 2 groups of guys did the same, one of which had the tiniest penis i have ever seen, the rest of the game was spent tormenting the lad, it was quite hilarious

ive also came across a half naked man in just pants and a mask playing guitar while UNOing at the same time

mind=blown

love it, best game on XBLA :D
SpacLock
Member
(06-28-2009, 12:11 AM)
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Originally Posted by acm2000

and this my friends, is why UNO XBLA is the best fucking game ever

seriously, ive never had so many laughs with a game before in my life

one time i had a naked chick on cam, with her bf there too, the other 2 players were groups of guys, the chicks bf got his dick out for no reason while playing, so the other 2 groups of guys did the same, one of which had the tiniest penis i have ever seen, the rest of the game was spent tormenting the lad, it was quite hilarious

ive also came across a half naked man in just pants and a mask playing guitar while UNOing at the same time

mind=blown

love it, best game on XBLA :D

That's what I was thinking at the time. Me and my friends were all laughing non stop at the ridiculousness of the game. One of the craziest parts was that even though these people were stripping and masturbating they were still playing Uno. How the fuck did that work? I got my ass kicked by some chick while she was busy taking her shirt off.
MechDX
Member
(06-28-2009, 12:13 AM)
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Originally Posted by SpacLock

That's what I was thinking at the time. Me and my friends were all laughing non stop at the ridiculousness of the game. One of the craziest parts was that even though these people were stripping and masturbating they were still playing Uno. How the fuck did that work? I got my ass kicked by some chick while she was busy taking her shirt off.


Basicall it only takes one button press to play the game since it auto selects the best card for your play. Two presses if you have an UNO.

So masterbation would be quite easy.:lol

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