Worst bullet points on the back of the box - Page 3

nightez · (07-07-2009, 12:09 PM)

Originally Posted by HUELEN10:

Are you serious? USA version right?
EDIT: Found it!

I think that makes sense. Its a good idea. Parents will know not to buy it for their children if they cant read yet. If they are really young.

...

nightez · (07-07-2009, 12:10 PM)

Originally Posted by soul creator:

http://www.gameinformer.com/NR/exere...bcb10b0261.htm

shots fired at Sega Saturn

Wow thats aweseome!

Puck · (07-07-2009, 12:12 PM)

Far Cry 2 :

Most realistic fire effects ever seen in a game

Sir Fragula · (07-07-2009, 12:13 PM)

Originally Posted by Aeana:

Ar Tonelico:

Key Features

Moé

Who's Moe?

Dina · (07-07-2009, 12:36 PM)

Originally Posted by Sir Fragula:

Who's Moe?

It's a sort of of anime girl type.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moe_(slang)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moe_anthropomorphism

panda21 · (07-07-2009, 12:37 PM)

found it

http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=285959

mclem · (07-07-2009, 12:49 PM)

Originally Posted by nightez:

I think that makes sense. Its a good idea. Parents will know not to buy it for their children if they cant read yet. If they are really young.

...

Years ago, I'd be at my grandparents' house for a New Year's Eve party with much of that half of the family, and I'd usually end of squirrelled away upstairs keeping the kids out of the way with my consoles.

I had one cousin who was a couple of years younger than me, but wasn't particularly academically gifted; he had great difficulty and reluctance to even attempt to read (I was still fairly young myself at the time, and was terribly unsympathetic, for which I now feel rather guilty). Lack of reading did heavily dent his understanding of games; without me present to explain what the text had just told him he'd have got nowhere.

TL;DR(oh, the irony): Basic reading skills are more necessary than people who take them for granted may imagine.

(Oddly enough, said cousin really got into *Populous*, of all games)

twinturbo2 · (07-07-2009, 12:51 PM)

Originally Posted by soul creator:

http://www.gameinformer.com/NR/exere...bcb10b0261.htm

shots fired at Sega Saturn

I still thought Daytona USA was faster. Even the terrible Saturn version.

faceless007 · (07-07-2009, 01:14 PM)

I still have my jewel case and can confirm this is genuine (look at the caption on the 3rd picture):

Tenkai Star · (07-07-2009, 01:18 PM)

Wow, super save. Wish more games had that feature.

webrunner · (07-07-2009, 01:45 PM)

I've always got a kick about how oddly concise the bullet points on FFX were:

It was like they had a word limit or something.

Hey everyone, our game has CHARACTERS. With VOICES.

acm2000 · 01:56 PM

Originally Posted by MechaX:

Which one of these bullet points seems to be the most out of place?

i see your 16.7 million colours, and raise you with 65,000!

true story: when this came out, i was in Electronics Boutique, and a guy picked this up, flipped it over, read the back, and i quote "wow, 65,000 colours.... i'll treat myself" and proceeded to buy it

MrTroubleMaker · (07-07-2009, 01:53 PM)

16.7 million colors

Sega1991 · (07-07-2009, 02:20 PM)

Had to dig out my actual jewel cases and scan'em in, for these.

Shining the Holy Ark on Saturn has amazing revolutionary features like an overworld map. It also calls the ability for party members to cast spells "Magic Mode":

I have to wonder if anybody ever got a "Master of Ninja Arts" Degree for this Sega CD FMV game, Revenge of the Ninja:

lowlylowlycook · (07-07-2009, 02:24 PM)

Originally Posted by nightez:

I think that makes sense. Its a good idea. Parents will know not to buy it for their children if they cant read yet. If they are really young.

...

Yeah, people laughing at that have never been asked by their niece to read 5 million lines of Pokedialog.

Zuhzuhzombie!! · (07-07-2009, 02:37 PM)

Originally Posted by soul creator:

http://www.gameinformer.com/NR/exere...bcb10b0261.htm

shots fired at Sega Saturn

SEGA Rally would have been pretty fast too if they left out important things like physics and AI.

FoxHimself · 02:58 PM

Oh man do I have a nice one here (it's not a bullet point though):

I just scanned in this from Tiger Woods 10 for Wii. What were they thinking when they put this zoomed in piece of shit on the back of the cover?

mysticstylez · (07-07-2009, 02:53 PM)

Originally Posted by FoxHimself:

Oh man do I have a nice one here (it's not a bullet point though):

I just scanned in this from Tiger Woods 10 for Wii. What were they thinking when they put this zoomed in piece of shit on the back of the cover?

I don't see anything wrong here, looks like that on my TV

dark10x · (07-07-2009, 03:09 PM)

Originally Posted by DaveKap:

Sure, but then what does it mean? You could play the game without a hard drive... so how is it optimized at all? As far as I know, there was no hard drive installation option (pre-NXE.)

Actually, games like Halo 3 actually used the HDD for data caching. The method they use for caching is responsible for a decrease in performance when installed.

Gomu Gomu · (07-07-2009, 03:12 PM)

I love this thread

Originally Posted by Rlan:

Have you seen the Silver Star Reversi and Silver Star Chess press for WiiWare?

Greatest press release ever.

I remember hearing that in the Bombcast a couple of weeks ago

Princess Skittles · (07-07-2009, 03:19 PM)

ANYTHING with the term "next-gen" on it.

Sleeker · (07-07-2009, 03:20 PM)

Originally Posted by Puck:

Far Cry 2 :

Most realistic fire effects ever seen in a game

but which game is more realistic in fire?

migulic · (07-07-2009, 03:25 PM)

Originally Posted by FoxHimself:

Oh man do I have a nice one here (it's not a bullet point though):

I just scanned in this from Tiger Woods 10 for Wii. What were they thinking when they put this zoomed in piece of shit on the back of the cover?

What's even more ridiculous IMO is the 'This Nintendo WFC Pay&Play Game allows you to use Wii Points to purchase additional content online.' Yay, now you are allowed to spend your Wii Points on useless DLC! Finally!

Mamesj · (07-07-2009, 03:32 PM)

Originally Posted by webrunner:

It was like they had a word limit or something.

Hey everyone, our game has CHARACTERS. With VOICES.

that was a big deal at the time for a Final Fantasy game. They actually did a good job of hitting the interesting points of the game without any bullshit

New battle system, better graphics, no more text only cutscenes-- that's pretty much all you needed to know that it wasn't the same game as on the PS1.

larvi · (07-07-2009, 03:35 PM)

From the back of the Ultima VI box:

Immediately begin playing and enjoying

I guess it's true provided you enjoy the game of swapping 7 floppies to install

Monroeski · (07-07-2009, 03:39 PM)

Originally Posted by thewesker:

Rolling Thunder 3

For some reason I think it's really funny that the last bullet, "Password Support," is the only one without an exclamation point.

Odyssey · (07-07-2009, 03:41 PM)

Originally Posted by webrunner:

I've always got a kick about how oddly concise the bullet points on FFX were:

It was like they had a word limit or something.

Hey everyone, our game has CHARACTERS. With VOICES.

I like those bullet points. They were telling their Final Fantasy fans what's new with the game.

webrunner · (07-07-2009, 03:43 PM)

The thing that got me wasn't that they were telling you the characters had voices, it's that they said "Characters with voices" - as if it's special that the game has characters, and the voices are just a bonus.

FoxHimself · (07-07-2009, 03:53 PM)

Originally Posted by webrunner:

The thing that got me wasn't that they were telling you the characters had voices, it's that they said "Characters with voices" - as if it's special that the game has characters, and the voices are just a bonus.

That's not the impression I have of it at all. If that were the case it would've said "Characters, with voices!" or something like that.

bradido · (07-07-2009, 04:06 PM)

That Ninja Blade game actually had "• Quick Time Events!" on the back. That's like advertising you don't have a game designer.

minx88 · (07-07-2009, 04:07 PM)

Originally Posted by Corran Horn:

Extreme-G 3 on gamecube
12 international racers, including the smokin' hot all-female team.

HELL YEAHHH

I completely forgot about the extreme-g games! Bring them back!

Truant · (07-07-2009, 04:19 PM)

World of Warcraft:

- Zoomable minimap makes navigation simple.
- The game's user interface is so intuitive, you may never have to use the manual.
- Shredders epitomize the lethal powers of Goblin ingenuity.
- Dragon raids require strength, skill and a hero's courage.

Gryphter · (07-07-2009, 04:33 PM)

I can't find a pic to prove it, but I remember laughing when I saw it in the store:

The back of the box for the N64 version of WinBack says, "The closest thing to Metal Gear Solid on the Nintendo 64!"

Zombie James · (07-07-2009, 04:43 PM)

Originally Posted by webrunner:

I've always got a kick about how oddly concise the bullet points on FFX were:

It was like they had a word limit or something.

Hey everyone, our game has CHARACTERS. With VOICES.

That was actually a big deal at the time.

John Harker · (07-07-2009, 04:57 PM)

WHO SAID FANTASIES HAD TO BE FINAL?

jarosh · (07-07-2009, 05:29 PM)

took these two myself. not exactly bullet points, but you know...

wow, those poor suckers who bought OLD GRAPHICS CARD. lol

Darklord · (07-07-2009, 05:37 PM)

Originally Posted by _leech_:

That was actually a big deal at the time.

For a Japanese game.

SovanJedi · (07-07-2009, 05:49 PM)

Didn't the back of the Elf GBA game's box bullet point the fact that you could select 5 different languages for the game? That cracked me up.

Tyrone Slothrop · (07-07-2009, 05:52 PM)

Astynax came out for GBA??

mclem · (07-07-2009, 05:55 PM)

Originally Posted by Truant:

World of Warcraft:

- Zoomable minimap makes navigation simple.
- The game's user interface is so intuitive, you may never have to use the manual.
- Shredders epitomize the lethal powers of Goblin ingenuity.
- Dragon raids require strength, skill and a hero's courage.

So much of the content of the World of Warcraft box and manual is just plain not true. Plains Running, anyone?

mclem · (07-07-2009, 05:57 PM)

Originally Posted by Tyrone Slothrop:

Astynax came out for GBA??

Pretty sure that's a bootleg, so there's no guarantee that the name on the box has anything to do with the game on the cart.

jarosh · (07-07-2009, 06:05 PM)

Originally Posted by mclem:

Pretty sure that's a bootleg, so there's no guarantee that the name on the box has anything to do with the game on the cart.

Originally Posted by Tyrone Slothrop:

Astynax came out for GBA??

it's just the inferior nes version poorly emulated on a bootleg gba cart. came with a box though, as you can see. got it for reeeeeally cheap, mostly for shits and giggles.

Bogus · (07-07-2009, 06:27 PM)

Originally Posted by mclem:

So much of the content of the World of Warcraft box and manual is just plain not true. Plains Running, anyone?

It was all true for version 1.0 of WoW. Plainsrunning got patched out in favor of Kodo mounts shortly after the game's release. I always get a kick out of reading old manuals for games that have lengthy patch lists just to see how much the games have evolved over time.

I don't have a bad bullet-point, so here's the total opposite:

FIGHT STUFF! I guess that could be bad, assuming it wasn't tongue-in-cheek?

webrunner · (07-07-2009, 06:30 PM)

Originally Posted by mclem:

So much of the content of the World of Warcraft box and manual is just plain not true. Plains Running, anyone?

Things change a lot in blizzard development.. the shots used on the box tend to be from a few-month-old version so they end up not accurately reflecting what the game can do... The starcraft box has a lot of stuff on it that isn't true in the actual game (such as some wraiths firing missiles at ground targets)

I wonder if they've already finalized the SC2 box?

Lemmy Caution · (07-07-2009, 06:41 PM)

Just in case you're unfamiliar with the travesty that is "Custer's Revenge", you basically rape an Indian Princess that's tied to a totem pole while dodging arrows.

I'd hate to know what research they did to enable them to create "Realistic" sound effects...

Strider2K99 · (07-07-2009, 07:45 PM)

Originally Posted by mclem:

That's rather the point. It was coded to do some smart caching to the hard drive to make it run faster. When installing to HD was added later, Halo 3 wasn't aware of this and so *still* cached to the HD when it was no longer necessary and would instead slow things down.

Originally Posted by dark10x:

Actually, games like Halo 3 actually used the HDD for data caching. The method they use for caching is responsible for a decrease in performance when installed.

The "Optimized for Hard Drive" means that it takes advantage of the HDD for features like saving content to it (Saved films, Forge game types, screenshots), nothing to do with data caching.

amodf · (07-07-2009, 08:07 PM)

I understand why GBA happy-fun cartoon looking games have warnings for "basic reading ability required to play this game."

I also understand why Cabela's Most Dangerous Hunts 2009 for Wii has this warning, but it's kinda sad.

Pimpbaa · (07-07-2009, 08:08 PM)

Originally Posted by MrTroubleMaker:

16.7 million colors

A game rendering in 24-bit color was a big deal back then.

dorkimoe · (07-07-2009, 08:29 PM)

how about the socom confrontation one. That advertised

Trophies
matchmaking
invite in game
playstation home

none were available when the game came out

Metal Gear?! · (07-07-2009, 10:02 PM)

Originally Posted by PuppetSlave:

...

How old are you? 16.7 million colors are 24 bit by the way. Way way back in time, a relative short time after dinosaurs roamed the earth, video/PC games did not have 24 bit colors support.

Hence the bullet point.

Originally Posted by Pimpbaa:

A game rendering in 24-bit color was a big deal back then.

The GBA can't display 16.7 million colors.