Christmas Delayed to March 2010

Kobun Heat · (07-30-2009, 06:50 PM)

HEAVEN, The Infinite Cosmos -- Citing concerns about the economic downturn, the holiday of Christmas has been delayed to March 2010, representatives of Heaven said today.

Ordinarily held on December 26, the most holy Birthday of our Lord and Savior Jesus, who is also the Christ, the holiday will now be bumped back to an unspecified spring date before the end of Heaven's fiscal year, which ends on March 31.

"The holiday season has really been getting packed, and we think our product is going to get lost in the shuffle," said Yahweh, God The Almighty Most High in an emailed statement today.

"I mean, seriously, have you seen those night vision glasses for Modern Warfare 2? I already have a gloriously perfect view of all beings across the indescribably vast infinity of time and space, but those things are fucking sick," said God.

Reports that Heaven's next major release, Easter, would be delayed until fall 2010 were unconfirmed as of press time.

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Regulus Tera · (07-30-2009, 06:51 PM)

Wollan · (07-30-2009, 06:51 PM)

Christmas is here when Blizzard says so.

slasher_thrasher21 · (07-30-2009, 06:51 PM)

LMAO hahaha this made me lol at just the title of the thread.

McBacon · (07-30-2009, 06:51 PM)

Very good Chris

shintoki · (07-30-2009, 06:52 PM)

But I can't wait that long for the 24hour Christmas Story Marathon!

Slaylock · (07-30-2009, 06:52 PM)

With Christmas slipping into the first quarter, can we assume Easter will slip as well to avoid the competition?

_dementia · (07-30-2009, 06:52 PM)

source?

Stormwatch · (07-30-2009, 06:52 PM)

Originally Posted by Wollan:

Christmas is here when Blizzard says so.

Soooo......soon™?

chubigans · 07:02 PM

Better luck next time, Christmas!

Fio · (07-30-2009, 06:53 PM)

Median · (07-30-2009, 06:53 PM)

Preorder canceled.

BigAT · (07-30-2009, 06:53 PM)

Originally Posted by Kobun Heat:

HEAVEN, The Infinite Cosmos -- Citing concerns about the economic downturn, the holiday of Christmas has been delayed to March 2010, representatives of Heaven said today.

Ordinarily held on December 26, the most holy Birthday of our Lord and Savior Jesus, who is also the Christ, the holiday will now be bumped back to an unspecified spring date before the end of Heaven's fiscal year, which ends on March 31.

Wuh?

Zenith · (07-30-2009, 06:53 PM)

Don't you mean December 25?

tenritsu · (07-30-2009, 06:53 PM)

Bravo, I smiled

pakkit · (07-30-2009, 06:54 PM)

I'm pretty sure fake news is bannable. Good riddance, I say.

cartman414 · (07-30-2009, 06:55 PM)

What is this, the Onion?

mario ate my burger · (07-30-2009, 06:55 PM)

Day 1?

SecretBonusPoint · (07-30-2009, 06:55 PM)

Will throw in my own fake PR from the other week:

Quote:

ACTIVISION UNVEILS GUITAR HERO® NIGHT VISION – THE DEFINITIVE ROCK & ROLL IN THE DARK WEARING GOGGLES MUSIC VIDEOGAMING EXPERIENCE

The Moon – July 17, 2009 – When the lights go down this fall, a new generation of axe shredders, drummers and fearless frontmen will come together and rock with Activision, Inc.’s (Nasdaq: ATVI) Guitar Hero® Night Vision. The latest installment from the #1 best-selling video game franchise of 2007, Guitar Hero Night Vision will transform music gaming by marrying Guitar Hero’s® exhilarating guitar gameplay, with barely visible night vision graphics and frustration.

If you thought Expert+ difficulty was tough, now you'll only be able to see the action in one lowlight colour condition at a time. Slam the buttons on the Night Vision goggles to swap between them and grab that guitar and start rocking in the worlds darkest gig locations (mostly caves)! Pyrotechnics on stage will momentarily blind you, so you'll have to guess the following rhythm until your eyesight returns. Unprecedented challenge from an unprecedented game series!

No industry has been hit harder by these troubling economic times than the stupid-piece-of-plastic-crap-with-rainbow-buttons-on-littering-my-living-room industry and due to all the exchange rates of Earth money being out of whack with Moon Dollars, Activision with deep regret has had to hike their already astronomical prices. Price for Guitar Hero® Night Vision has yet to be determined because we keep adding zeroes and just can't stop. Oh yeah and Sony, we're serious about that price-drop thing, you greedy bastards.

Guitar Hero Night Vision is being developed by greedy fuckers for the Xbox 360® video game and entertainment system from Microsoft and PLAYSTATION®3 computer entertainment system (provided there is a price drop!). The Wii™ version is being developed by a team that won't put the effort in at all. The PlayStation®2 computer entertainment system version is being developed by a toddler wihout hands. The game is not yet rated by the ESRB because it is not real.

Tntnnbltn · (07-30-2009, 06:55 PM)

Originally Posted by Zenith:

Don't you mean December 25?

Day -1.

Doc Lobster · (07-30-2009, 06:55 PM)

http://www.hardcasual.net/2009/07/30...ed-to-q1-2010/

Princess Skittles · (07-30-2009, 06:56 PM)

This would really be better realized in HD.

BuddyC · (07-30-2009, 06:56 PM)

Good show, I say. Good show.

Buttonbasher · (07-30-2009, 06:57 PM)

Originally Posted by SecretBonusPoint:

Will throw in my own fake PR from the other week:

Kobun Heat · (07-30-2009, 06:58 PM)

Originally Posted by Zenith:

Don't you mean December 25?

Japan time.

KeiichiInafune · (07-30-2009, 06:58 PM)

Good to see Heaven is now issuing press releases.

Any news on Christ's Return???? I've had a pre-order for the longest time and Im starting to grow impatient

SirPenguin · (07-30-2009, 06:58 PM)

If we're not careful Spring could push its release date to Q3-Q4 of 2010

Shiggy · (07-30-2009, 06:58 PM)

Shit, I already bought my Christmas tree :/

Sadist · (07-30-2009, 06:59 PM)

Awesome.

Seiken · (07-30-2009, 06:59 PM)

El_TigroX · (07-30-2009, 07:01 PM)

Hmmm.... Christmas Delayed To Q1 2010/

ColR100 · (07-30-2009, 07:01 PM)

I'm in total agreement. I'm struggling to think of anything I want to buy this holiday season.

The new Forza and Brutal Legend is all that does it for me.

Kobun Heat · (07-30-2009, 07:02 PM)

Oh for the love of... they even made the same Modern Warfare 2 joke! I quit.

pakkit · (07-30-2009, 07:03 PM)

Originally Posted by El_TigroX:

Hmmm.... Christmas Delayed To Q1 2010/

Chris Kohler plagiarizes! Resign immediately!

Anticitizen One · (07-30-2009, 07:03 PM)

Could someone tell me what this thread is in reference to? Did a major game get delayed or something??

mario ate my burger · (07-30-2009, 07:03 PM)

Kobun Heat · (07-30-2009, 07:04 PM)

Originally Posted by pakkit:

Chris Kohler plagiarizes! Resign immediately!

GamePro just fired me, and I don't even work there :(

Clever Pun · (07-30-2009, 07:04 PM)

Originally Posted by KeiichiInafune:

Good to see Heaven is now issuing press releases.

Any news on Christ's Return???? I've had a pre-order for the longest time and Im starting to grow impatient

but have you registered with their official website?

DeepFriedMuppet · (07-30-2009, 07:04 PM)

Originally Posted by Kobun Heat:

I already have a gloriously perfect view of all beings across the indescribably vast infinity [ward?] of time and space, but those things are fucking sick," said God.
###

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explodet · (07-30-2009, 07:05 PM)

You fool, there's no time to wait for March 2010!

onken · (07-30-2009, 07:06 PM)

I'd've just preferred a list of games that got delayed.

Woz · (07-30-2009, 07:06 PM)

March?

SENT TO DIE.

52club · (07-30-2009, 07:06 PM)

If retailers had their way they would bump x-mas up to October, and then have everyone celebrate kwanza (sp) in December to show racial unity.

Mdk7 · (07-30-2009, 07:07 PM)

Originally Posted by SecretBonusPoint:

Will throw in my own fake PR from the other week:

(and LOL at the topic itself!)

Apoc29 · (07-30-2009, 07:07 PM)

Meh, not that excited for it anyway. I'll wait for Christmas II.

JSnake · (07-30-2009, 07:08 PM)

Holy shit, Kohler.

tirminyl · (07-30-2009, 07:10 PM)

So awesome!

Originally Posted by Anticitizen One:

Could someone tell me what this thread is in reference to? Did a major game get delayed or something??

They are making fun of a whole list of games that got pushed to an early 2010 release. Hell, most of what I was looking forward to this year got bumped

Ethereal · (07-30-2009, 07:12 PM)

I'm sure the retailers are happy.... the Thanksgiving to Xmas shopping season just got extended 3 months.... perhaps this is what will save the economy

SuperEnemyCrab · (07-30-2009, 07:13 PM)

It was obvious this would get pushed back, the E3 demo was a mess.

storybook77 · (07-30-2009, 07:14 PM)

As long as they use the time to polish it up, I'm fine with the delay.