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Biggest douchebag animal?

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Ducks ARE pretty douchey.

donaldduckyoujerk.jpg
 

Mumei

Member
Mrs. Manky said:
African Honey Badger.

Will take on any animal, regardless of size. Eats honey and bee larvae by thrusting its head into a beehive and munching away, impervious to the stings. Will attack a male lion by going for the testicles. In a recorded instance, stole a rat from a puff adder and ate it, went for the snake, passed out from the venom, then woke up and proceeded to finish eating the snake.

Also plays the vuvuzela. (Okay, I made that part up)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c81bcjyfn6U

It's not really a douchebag animal, though. It's quite awesome.
 
Starting 3 days ago, a Mockingbird has randomly decided to start attacking me every time I try to enter or leave my place of work.

That animal is a douchebag.
 

Corran Horn

May the Schwartz be with you
Fuck wasps. I get nests of them in my backyard. I then proceed to be a coward and never go into my backyard again :lol
 

Brashnir

Member
TOM f'N CRUISE said:
why the hell are insects still in this thread :lol

Because insects are animals.

The real question is, "why do idiots keep coming in this thread trying to say otherwise?"
 

Gozan

Member
Mrs. Manky said:
African Honey Badger.

Will take on any animal, regardless of size. Eats honey and bee larvae by thrusting its head into a beehive and munching away, impervious to the stings. Will attack a male lion by going for the testicles. In a recorded instance, stole a rat from a puff adder and ate it, went for the snake, passed out from the venom, then woke up and proceeded to finish eating the snake.


Sounds like an animal version of Wolverine.
 

Mumei

Member
Gozan said:
Sounds like an animal version of Wolverine.

Or Wolverine is a comic book mutant version of a wolverine.

Wolverines and honey badgers are both part of the mustelidae family, though.
 
Jerry from Tom and Jerry is the biggest douchebag animal ever

Tom is just sitting around, enjoying life, or going on trips, trying to get close to its master and BAM..out of nowhere, Jerry the little dick comes and ruins everything for him
 

DarkKyo

Member
deadmuffin said:
Jerry from Tom and Jerry is the biggest douchebag animal ever

Tom is just sitting around, enjoying life, or going on trips, trying to get close to its master and BAM..out of nowhere, Jerry the little dick comes and ruins everything for him
Lol are you serious? Tom is always harassing Jerry!! Either to devour him or just push his weight around.
 

DonMigs85

Member
deadmuffin said:
Jerry from Tom and Jerry is the biggest douchebag animal ever

Tom is just sitting around, enjoying life, or going on trips, trying to get close to its master and BAM..out of nowhere, Jerry the little dick comes and ruins everything for him
I liked that one episode where Tom inherited a million dollars, but gave it all up so he could attack Jerry
 

Veelk

Banned
Dechaios said:
Lol are you serious? Tom is always harassing Jerry!! Either to devour him or just push his weight around.
There was one episode of the series where Tom was beheaded by his owner for waking him up while chasing Jerry and that little nitwit baby mouse. Let me reiterate that Tom was beheaded, and that Jerry and his sidekick didn't lift a finger to stop the execution. Not only are Jerry and Nibbles Musketeers in the episode, the food they're stealing is from the king, the person they're supposed to be protecting, with Tom as one of the palace guards designated to keep an eye on the banquet for later that night. Meaning, they're supposed to be on the same damn side, and the mice are still stealing the food. At the end of the episode, as the mice are walking away with their tiny arms loaded with food, we hear a drum roll, and they look up to see the rise and drop of the guillotine. Nibbles swallows the bite of food in his mouth with a momentarily surprised look, then casually shrugs his shoulders and says "Pauvre, pauvre pussycat. Ah, well, c'est la guerre!" and they go off happily munching with jaunty theme music in the background.

Jerry is a fucking douchebag.
 

G-Fex

Member
Generic said:
There was one episode of the series where Tom was beheaded by his owner for waking him up while chasing Jerry and that little nitwit baby mouse. Let me reiterate that Tom was beheaded, and that Jerry and his sidekick didn't lift a finger to stop the execution. Not only are Jerry and Nibbles Musketeers in the episode, the food they're stealing is from the king, the person they're supposed to be protecting, with Tom as one of the palace guards designated to keep an eye on the banquet for later that night. Meaning, they're supposed to be on the same damn side, and the mice are still stealing the food. At the end of the episode, as the mice are walking away with their tiny arms loaded with food, we hear a drum roll, and they look up to see the rise and drop of the guillotine. Nibbles swallows the bite of food in his mouth with a momentarily surprised look, then casually shrugs his shoulders and says "Pauvre, pauvre pussycat. Ah, well, c'est la guerre!" and they go off happily munching with jaunty theme music in the background.

Jerry is a fucking douchebag.

Haha cartoon cruelty.

I've got to buy a live mouse for my cat sometime soon.
 
Mumei said:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c81bcjyfn6U

It's not really a douchebag animal, though. It's quite awesome.

THAT WAS AWESOME:lol

OMG, the littler fucker took the prey out of the snakes mouth. then ate it in front of it. then the snake tried to run away, the badger kills the fucking snake too. and then eats it. double humiliation for the snake. then the badger collapses and almost dies from the snakes toxcins. then it wakes up later like a drunk fuck, and continues eating the snake that made it collapse:lol AMAZING.

OMG what a cool creature!!!
 

Brannon

Member
Recently it's the Asian Carp that are threatening to enter the Great Lakes. They eat several times their body weight (and they're HUGE), and nothing eats them. They can jump out of the water in surprise and have their great weight injure you in your boat. Their Shermanesque march northward is destined to destroy the ecosystem of the Lakes. So great is the fear that they're thinking of closing the locks connecting the river to the Lakes to prevent it and EVERYTHING ELSE INCLUDING RIVER COMMERCE from getting to and fro.

It is getting that desperate. THAT is douche.

carp-thumb-500x302-56351.jpg


What's really sad is that even with their limited avenues of approach, we can't hunt them to extinction like passenger pigeons or at least hunt them to levels where they're considered a rare delicacy today instead of pig slop fodder decades ago like lobster. Relentless bundles of fish flesh, they are.
 
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