NeoGAF

GillianSeed79 · (07-16-2010, 07:37 AM)

Topic says it all. A wild possum has wandered into my apartment and is currently chilling in my bathroom. (Yes, I live in bumfuck USA) So, yeah, how do I get this thing to leave? On the one hand, it's kind of cute and I feel bad because it's obviously scared shitless. On the other hand it looks like a giant rat. I just want to shoo the thing out, but I'm freaked out it might pull a Monty Python and the Search for the Holy Grail and go for my jugular. Sadly, I don't have any holy grenades. Halp!

Unknown Soldier · (07-16-2010, 07:38 AM)

Call your local animal control people.

Snuggler · (07-16-2010, 07:38 AM)

Just learn to live with it. Give him some space and keep him well fed and I think he will start to warm up to you after awhile.

roosters93 · (07-16-2010, 07:38 AM)

Originally Posted by Unknown Soldier:

Call your local animal control people.

.

CzarTim · (07-16-2010, 07:40 AM)

Turn it into a sex slave.

xbhaskarx · (07-16-2010, 07:42 AM)

1. Take a photo
2. Post it in this thread

After that I really don't care what you do...

NGAMER9 · (07-16-2010, 07:42 AM)

Originally Posted by Snuggler:

Just learn to live with it. Give him some space and keep him well fed and I think he will start to warm up to you after awhile.

I support this idea. After a while you could even make it a sitcom based on your adventures together.

Air Zombie Meat · (07-16-2010, 07:44 AM)

Feed it a pizza

water_wendi · (07-16-2010, 07:44 AM)

If you are a cop make sure that it isnt your reincarnated partner first.

JaseC · (07-16-2010, 07:44 AM)

Feed it pizza.

Edit: Damn it. :lol

ZeroRay · (07-16-2010, 07:45 AM)

Originally Posted by xbhaskarx:

1. Take a photo
2. Post it in this thread

After that I really don't care what you do...

.

Poyunch · (07-16-2010, 07:45 AM)

Give it half a burger and eat the rest.

Combichristoffersen · (07-16-2010, 07:45 AM)

Welcome your new possum overlord

GrotesqueBeauty · (07-16-2010, 07:45 AM)

Animal control is the right answer, unless you've got the mind to skin and eat it. Frankly, I don't think you have it in you.

Crisis · (07-16-2010, 07:46 AM)

Grenade.

Call animal control.

Lebron · (07-16-2010, 07:46 AM)

move out

or lure it out with some cheese/berries/mountain dew, then shoot or stab it till it stops twitching.

or just put a cat in with it

or give it a name and thus you have a new fried

or call animal control

Gouty · (07-16-2010, 07:47 AM)

For my 18th birthday I was given a possum that had been cut in half and glued to a piece of plywood. He was wearing a paper hat and had a flag glued to his hand that read “happy 18th Joey” My name isn’t Joey and I wish none of this story were true.

DeathNote · (07-16-2010, 07:48 AM)

If you have protective clothing you could use a net. I'd be afraid it could bite through clothes.

Sew · (07-16-2010, 07:49 AM)

Pack some bags and set off together on a great American roadtrip. You, the by-the-books cop three days from retirement, and the possum, a wisecracking loose cannon whose middle name is trouble. It'll be a wild, zany ride with hilarious results!

Truant · (07-16-2010, 07:50 AM)

Post some pictures.

blame space · (07-16-2010, 07:51 AM)

pee outside. he'll leave.

Slavik81 · (07-16-2010, 07:52 AM)

If you like it so much, why don't you marry it?

BigJonsson · (07-16-2010, 07:52 AM)

Feed it a steak with roofies in it.....and make sure to pepper the steak

Possum love pepper

GillianSeed79 · (07-16-2010, 07:52 AM)

I'd call animal control, except I'm drunk. That and I live in bumfuck. You get the answering machine after 5, which means I'd have to call 911. The last time this kind of thing happened was when my cat brought me a snake while I was sleeping. I had to call my boss to google its color to make sure it wasn't poisonous. Fuck it. I'm just going to try to scare it/shoo it.

Snuggler · (07-16-2010, 07:53 AM)

Originally Posted by GillianSeed79:

I'd call animal control, except I'm drunk. That and I live in bumfuck. You get the answering machine after 5, which means I'd have to call 911. The last time this kind of thing happened was when my cat brought me a snake while I was sleeping. I had to call my boss to google its color to make sure it wasn't poisonous. Fuck it. I'm just going to try to scare it/shoo it.

Punch it in the fucking face.

GillianSeed79 · (07-16-2010, 07:53 AM)

Originally Posted by blame space:

pee outside. he'll leave.

I did twice, he's still there.

Gouty · (07-16-2010, 07:54 AM)

What's the problem with calling animal control while drunk?

rainking187 · (07-16-2010, 07:56 AM)

Knock on the door and ask him if he fell in.

GillianSeed79 · (07-16-2010, 07:57 AM)

Originally Posted by Truant:

Post some pictures.

I can't. God, this is embarassing, but I don't even own a digital camera. (I also don't know how to post pictures) I'm actually posting from my Wii. Fuck this is embarassing, because I'm really, really, really not tech savy.

sumo390 · (07-16-2010, 07:58 AM)

Originally Posted by Gouty:

What's the problem with calling animal control while drunk?

The questions that might be asked...
Sir why do you have a possum in your bathroom, and why don't you have pants on?

Nickovic · (07-16-2010, 07:59 AM)

Originally Posted by GillianSeed79:

I can't. God, this is embarassing, but I don't even own a digital camera. (I also don't know how to post pictures) I'm actually posting from my Wii. Fuck this is embarassing, because I'm really, really, really not tech savy.

Draw some diagrams in MS Paint so we can better understand the situation.

Cereal KiIIer · (07-16-2010, 08:00 AM)

Originally Posted by GillianSeed79:

I can't. God, this is embarassing, but I don't even own a digital camera. (I also don't know how to post pictures) I'm actually posting from my Wii. Fuck this is embarassing, because I'm really, really, really not tech savy.

What the fuck are you doing on gaf then?

KevinRo · (07-16-2010, 08:03 AM)

Originally Posted by Cereal KiIIer:

What the fuck are you doing on gaf then?

Asking for help, jackass.

samus i am · (07-16-2010, 08:04 AM)

I like where this thread is going.

[IMG]http://i39.************/23m7tjd.jpg[/IMG]

Cereal KiIIer · (07-16-2010, 08:04 AM)

Originally Posted by KevinRo:

Asking for help, jackass.

Pics or no help. Help ain't free.

Alfarif · (07-16-2010, 08:04 AM)

Originally Posted by GillianSeed79:

I can't. God, this is embarassing, but I don't even own a digital camera. (I also don't know how to post pictures) I'm actually posting from my Wii. Fuck this is embarassing, because I'm really, really, really not tech savy.

This is me performing a god damn Grandpa Simpson. I can not even believe this thread exists. You have made me angry.

BocoDragon · (07-16-2010, 08:06 AM)

Fart under the bathroom door and see if it responds somehow.

Full Recovery · 08:11 AM

Hit it with a car.

[call animal control, seriously they are not to be fucked with]

EDIT, well.. i live in the country and I have yote traps.. so do you? Because if you do, set a trap and throw that fucker in there. LOL maybe put some old meat on top of it.

Gouty · (07-16-2010, 08:07 AM)

Somewhere deep in the country darkness is a drunk man wrestling with technology while a possum and presumably other wild animals wonder through his hovel.

hteng · (07-16-2010, 08:12 AM)

need pictures of said bathroom, we're interested

samus i am · (07-16-2010, 08:13 AM)

Originally Posted by GillianSeed79:

I can't. God, this is embarassing, but I don't even own a digital camera. (I also don't know how to post pictures) I'm actually posting from my Wii. Fuck this is embarassing, because I'm really, really, really not tech savy.

No offense, but I honestly can't believe this is how you live. Joke post?

Dresden · (07-16-2010, 08:14 AM)

Just shoot it, ffs.

Cereal KiIIer · (07-16-2010, 08:15 AM)

You see, the problem is not really the possum in your bathroom. The problem is that you don't own a computer and/or a sub 100$ camera.

Snuggler · (07-16-2010, 08:17 AM)

Where the hell do you live where you have possums wandering around your apartment complex?

GillianSeed79 · (07-16-2010, 08:17 AM)

okay, I think I'm good. Just checked the bathroom and it's not there. There's three possibilities. It either fled to the basement, which the open entrance is directly next to the bathroom, or it fled through the cat door, or it's in my bedroom somewhere. Thankfully I sleep in the den and cat is here to protect me.

Also, if any mods are out there please lock thread.

Dresden · (07-16-2010, 08:18 AM)

Originally Posted by GillianSeed79:

okay, I think I'm good. Just checked the bathroom and it's not there. There's three possibilities. It either fled to the basement, which the open entrance is directly next to the bathroom, or it fled through the cat door, or it's in my bedroom somewhere. Thankfully I sleep in the den and cat is here to protect me.

Also, if any mods are out there please lock thread.

Air Zombie Meat · (07-16-2010, 08:20 AM)

Originally Posted by GillianSeed79:

okay, I think I'm good. Just checked the bathroom and it's not there. There's three possibilities. It either fled to the basement, which the open entrance is directly next to the bathroom, or it fled through the cat door, or it's in my bedroom somewhere. Thankfully I sleep in the den and cat is here to protect me.

Also, if any mods are out there please lock thread.

Or the possum killed the OP and is now asking for the thread to be locked to cover its tracks. You can't fool us possum!

Teddman · (07-16-2010, 08:21 AM)

You didn't... close the bathroom door to keep it contained? :lol

BananaBomb · (07-16-2010, 08:22 AM)

Originally Posted by Air Zombie Meat:

Or the possum killed the OP and is now asking for the thread to be locked to cover its tracks. You can't fool us possum!

It took me a good 5 seconds to realize this was a joke. Goddamn it's getting late...

Yoboman · (07-16-2010, 08:25 AM)

Give it some panadol and watch it explode