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GillianSeed79
Member
(07-16-2010, 09:37 AM)
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Topic says it all. A wild possum has wandered into my apartment and is currently chilling in my bathroom. (Yes, I live in bumfuck USA) So, yeah, how do I get this thing to leave? On the one hand, it's kind of cute and I feel bad because it's obviously scared shitless. On the other hand it looks like a giant rat. I just want to shoo the thing out, but I'm freaked out it might pull a Monty Python and the Search for the Holy Grail and go for my jugular. Sadly, I don't have any holy grenades. Halp!
Unknown Soldier
Member
(07-16-2010, 09:38 AM)
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Call your local animal control people.
Snuggles
erotic butter maelstrom
(07-16-2010, 09:38 AM)
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Just learn to live with it. Give him some space and keep him well fed and I think he will start to warm up to you after awhile.
roosters93
Member
(07-16-2010, 09:38 AM)
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Originally Posted by Unknown Soldier

Call your local animal control people.

.
CzarTim
Member
(07-16-2010, 09:40 AM)
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Turn it into a sex slave.
xbhaskarx
(07-16-2010, 09:42 AM)
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1. Take a photo
2. Post it in this thread


After that I really don't care what you do...
NGAMER9
Member
(07-16-2010, 09:42 AM)
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Originally Posted by Snuggler

Just learn to live with it. Give him some space and keep him well fed and I think he will start to warm up to you after awhile.

I support this idea. After a while you could even make it a sitcom based on your adventures together.
Air Zombie Meat
Member
(07-16-2010, 09:44 AM)
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Feed it a pizza
water_wendi
Water is not wet!
(07-16-2010, 09:44 AM)
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If you are a cop make sure that it isnt your reincarnated partner first.
JaseC
gave away the keys to the kingdom.
(07-16-2010, 09:44 AM)
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Feed it pizza.

Edit: Damn it. :lol
ZeroRay
Member
(07-16-2010, 09:45 AM)
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Originally Posted by xbhaskarx

1. Take a photo
2. Post it in this thread


After that I really don't care what you do...

.
Poyunch
Member
(07-16-2010, 09:45 AM)
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Give it half a burger and eat the rest.
Combichristoffersen
Combovers don't work when there is no hair
(07-16-2010, 09:45 AM)
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Welcome your new possum overlord
GrotesqueBeauty
Molasses Jones X
(07-16-2010, 09:45 AM)
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Animal control is the right answer, unless you've got the mind to skin and eat it. Frankly, I don't think you have it in you.
Crisis
Banned
(07-16-2010, 09:46 AM)
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Grenade.

Call animal control.
Lebron
Member
(07-16-2010, 09:46 AM)
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move out


or lure it out with some cheese/berries/mountain dew, then shoot or stab it till it stops twitching.


or just put a cat in with it


or give it a name and thus you have a new fried


or call animal control
Gouty
Member
(07-16-2010, 09:47 AM)
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For my 18th birthday I was given a possum that had been cut in half and glued to a piece of plywood. He was wearing a paper hat and had a flag glued to his hand that read “happy 18th Joey” My name isn’t Joey and I wish none of this story were true.
C.Dark.DN
previously DeathNote
(07-16-2010, 09:48 AM)
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If you have protective clothing you could use a net. I'd be afraid it could bite through clothes.
Sew
Member
(07-16-2010, 09:49 AM)
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Pack some bags and set off together on a great American roadtrip. You, the by-the-books cop three days from retirement, and the possum, a wisecracking loose cannon whose middle name is trouble. It'll be a wild, zany ride with hilarious results!
Truant
Member
(07-16-2010, 09:50 AM)
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Post some pictures.
blame space
Member with a nice beard and a broken TV
(07-16-2010, 09:51 AM)
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pee outside. he'll leave.
Slavik81
Member
(07-16-2010, 09:52 AM)
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If you like it so much, why don't you marry it?
BigJonsson
Member
(07-16-2010, 09:52 AM)
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Feed it a steak with roofies in it.....and make sure to pepper the steak

Possum love pepper
GillianSeed79
Member
(07-16-2010, 09:52 AM)
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I'd call animal control, except I'm drunk. That and I live in bumfuck. You get the answering machine after 5, which means I'd have to call 911. The last time this kind of thing happened was when my cat brought me a snake while I was sleeping. I had to call my boss to google its color to make sure it wasn't poisonous. Fuck it. I'm just going to try to scare it/shoo it.
Snuggles
erotic butter maelstrom
(07-16-2010, 09:53 AM)
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Originally Posted by GillianSeed79

I'd call animal control, except I'm drunk. That and I live in bumfuck. You get the answering machine after 5, which means I'd have to call 911. The last time this kind of thing happened was when my cat brought me a snake while I was sleeping. I had to call my boss to google its color to make sure it wasn't poisonous. Fuck it. I'm just going to try to scare it/shoo it.

Punch it in the fucking face.
GillianSeed79
Member
(07-16-2010, 09:53 AM)
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Originally Posted by blame space

pee outside. he'll leave.

I did twice, he's still there.
Gouty
Member
(07-16-2010, 09:54 AM)
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What's the problem with calling animal control while drunk?
rainking187
Member
(07-16-2010, 09:56 AM)
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Knock on the door and ask him if he fell in.
GillianSeed79
Member
(07-16-2010, 09:57 AM)
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Originally Posted by Truant

Post some pictures.

I can't. God, this is embarassing, but I don't even own a digital camera. (I also don't know how to post pictures) I'm actually posting from my Wii. Fuck this is embarassing, because I'm really, really, really not tech savy.
sumo390
Member
(07-16-2010, 09:58 AM)

Originally Posted by Gouty

What's the problem with calling animal control while drunk?

The questions that might be asked...
Sir why do you have a possum in your bathroom, and why don't you have pants on?
Nickovic
οἱ ἄλλοι ἀδελφοί ὑμῶν
οὐκ ἔχετε φθονεῖν
(07-16-2010, 09:59 AM)
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Originally Posted by GillianSeed79

I can't. God, this is embarassing, but I don't even own a digital camera. (I also don't know how to post pictures) I'm actually posting from my Wii. Fuck this is embarassing, because I'm really, really, really not tech savy.

Draw some diagrams in MS Paint so we can better understand the situation.
Cereal KiIIer
Member
(07-16-2010, 10:00 AM)
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Originally Posted by GillianSeed79

I can't. God, this is embarassing, but I don't even own a digital camera. (I also don't know how to post pictures) I'm actually posting from my Wii. Fuck this is embarassing, because I'm really, really, really not tech savy.

What the fuck are you doing on gaf then?
KevinRo
Member
(07-16-2010, 10:03 AM)
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Originally Posted by Cereal KiIIer

What the fuck are you doing on gaf then?

Asking for help, jackass.
samus i am
Member
(07-16-2010, 10:04 AM)
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I like where this thread is going.

[IMG]http://i39.************/23m7tjd.jpg[/IMG]
Cereal KiIIer
Member
(07-16-2010, 10:04 AM)
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Originally Posted by KevinRo

Asking for help, jackass.

Pics or no help. Help ain't free.
Alfarif
This picture? uhh I can explain really!
(07-16-2010, 10:04 AM)
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Originally Posted by GillianSeed79

I can't. God, this is embarassing, but I don't even own a digital camera. (I also don't know how to post pictures) I'm actually posting from my Wii. Fuck this is embarassing, because I'm really, really, really not tech savy.

This is me performing a god damn Grandpa Simpson. I can not even believe this thread exists. You have made me angry.
BocoDragon
or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Realize This Assgrab is Delicious
(07-16-2010, 10:06 AM)
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Fart under the bathroom door and see if it responds somehow.
Full Recovery
(07-16-2010, 10:06 AM)
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Hit it with a car.

[call animal control, seriously they are not to be fucked with]

EDIT, well.. i live in the country and I have yote traps.. so do you? Because if you do, set a trap and throw that fucker in there. LOL maybe put some old meat on top of it.
Last edited by Full Recovery; 07-16-2010 at 10:11 AM.
Gouty
Member
(07-16-2010, 10:07 AM)
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Somewhere deep in the country darkness is a drunk man wrestling with technology while a possum and presumably other wild animals wonder through his hovel.
hteng
Banned
(07-16-2010, 10:12 AM)
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need pictures of said bathroom, we're interested
samus i am
Member
(07-16-2010, 10:13 AM)
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Originally Posted by GillianSeed79

I can't. God, this is embarassing, but I don't even own a digital camera. (I also don't know how to post pictures) I'm actually posting from my Wii. Fuck this is embarassing, because I'm really, really, really not tech savy.

No offense, but I honestly can't believe this is how you live. Joke post?
Dresden
on the run
(07-16-2010, 10:14 AM)
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Just shoot it, ffs.
Cereal KiIIer
Member
(07-16-2010, 10:15 AM)
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You see, the problem is not really the possum in your bathroom. The problem is that you don't own a computer and/or a sub 100$ camera.
Snuggles
erotic butter maelstrom
(07-16-2010, 10:17 AM)
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Where the hell do you live where you have possums wandering around your apartment complex?
GillianSeed79
Member
(07-16-2010, 10:17 AM)
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okay, I think I'm good. Just checked the bathroom and it's not there. There's three possibilities. It either fled to the basement, which the open entrance is directly next to the bathroom, or it fled through the cat door, or it's in my bedroom somewhere. Thankfully I sleep in the den and cat is here to protect me.

Also, if any mods are out there please lock thread.
Dresden
on the run
(07-16-2010, 10:18 AM)
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Originally Posted by GillianSeed79

okay, I think I'm good. Just checked the bathroom and it's not there. There's three possibilities. It either fled to the basement, which the open entrance is directly next to the bathroom, or it fled through the cat door, or it's in my bedroom somewhere. Thankfully I sleep in the den and cat is here to protect me.

Also, if any mods are out there please lock thread.

Air Zombie Meat
Member
(07-16-2010, 10:20 AM)
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Originally Posted by GillianSeed79

okay, I think I'm good. Just checked the bathroom and it's not there. There's three possibilities. It either fled to the basement, which the open entrance is directly next to the bathroom, or it fled through the cat door, or it's in my bedroom somewhere. Thankfully I sleep in the den and cat is here to protect me.

Also, if any mods are out there please lock thread.

Or the possum killed the OP and is now asking for the thread to be locked to cover its tracks. You can't fool us possum!
Teddman
Member
(07-16-2010, 10:21 AM)
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You didn't... close the bathroom door to keep it contained? :lol
BananaBomb
Member
(07-16-2010, 10:22 AM)
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Originally Posted by Air Zombie Meat

Or the possum killed the OP and is now asking for the thread to be locked to cover its tracks. You can't fool us possum!

It took me a good 5 seconds to realize this was a joke. Goddamn it's getting late...
Yoboman
Banned
(07-16-2010, 10:25 AM)
Give it some panadol and watch it explode

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