[krypt0nian]

*hug/comfort* ... give me his number!

I'll tag team him with you. :D

[ZephyrFate]

http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSTRE69B63U20101012

yay america.

...

[Dead Man]

http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSTRE69B63U20101012 yay america. ...

It never ceases to amaze me how far right Americas left is.

[Rez]

to be fair, it seems like that's just a traditional political wave of the arm, not a stance

[fernoca]

Ugh, I met a guy today that would be pretty much the perfect husband (a little nerdy, likes outdoors sports, cute, nice muscle body, smart, funny and amazing sex) if it wasn't for a "little detail": he's more than 20 years older than me T_______T

What so bad about it?
It seems you like everything about him.

[Dead Man]

to be fair, it seems like that's just a traditional political wave of the arm, not a stance

Yeah, but in some ways that makes it worse to me. Just opposing because it's the done thing, not even from a ideological basis.

[Alcoori]

What so bad about it? It seems you like everything about him.

He's old is what is so bad :D

[beje]

What so bad about it? It seems you like everything about him.

40 years old is my phychological barrier for a potential relationship (this guy is around 46). I'm not dating such and old guy again in my life. You know, the good ol' "it's all fun and games until the generational breach kicks in and ruins everything".

[Dead Man]

40 years old is my phychological barrier for a potential relationship. I'm not dating such and old guy again in my life. You know, the good ol' "it's all fun and games until the generational breach kicks in and ruins everything".

40 used to be my barrier, then I reached my mid 30's :lol

[beje]

40 used to be my barrier, then I reached my mid 30's :lol

Well mine is more like "avoid any man that could be your father, not just in age but in interests and lifestyle as well" instead of just an arbitrary number, but can be easily summed up as "40".

[Siebzehn50]

I think it's best that they are appealing it. I hope that they lose, but it really is what the DOJ should do.

As the article says...

"As a policy matter, the President has made clear that he believes DOMA is discriminatory and should be repealed," said Justice Department spokeswoman Tracy Schmaler. "The Justice Department is defending the statute, as it traditionally does when acts of Congress are challenged."

[Dead Man]

I think it's best that they are appealing it. I hope that they lose, but it really is what the DOJ should do. As the article says...

It's appealing for the sake of appealing. They are not pointing to any flaw in the ruling, rather just pointing to a tradition of opposing such rulings. If the DOJ was non political/partisan, I could see it being reasonable, but it is not.

[fragilebroken]

Were I to reattempt the bar scene, is it customary to go to a bar alone if your intent is to meet people? I did that once and felt utterly foolish just sitting there people-watching by myself, although I did get a couple free drinks. :D

[beje]

Were I to reattempt the bar scene, is it customary to go to a bar alone if your intent is to meet people? I did that once and felt utterly foolish just sitting there people-watching by myself, although I did get a couple free drinks. :D

It's usually hit and miss, but I'd rather go with a couple friends. I also feel stupid if I go alone unless I actually know the bartender.

[fragilebroken]

It's usually hit and miss, but I'd rather go with a couple friends. I also feel stupid if I go alone unless I actually know the bartender.

Problem is I have no one to go with 98% of the time, and with my closest friends I'm not sure how okay they'd be with going to a gay bar with me, frankly. Then again, I haven't asked; they could surprise me.

[Koomaster]

Problem is I have no one to go with 98% of the time, and with my closest friends I'm not sure how okay they'd be with going to a gay bar with me, frankly. Then again, I haven't asked; they could surprise me.

Don't make it a big deal, just ask if they want to go. Straight people go to gay bars a lot as well, especially girls. I don't think you'll face much resistance unless your friends don't like bars in general.

[beje]

Update: I found last night's guy in the supermarket and he asked me if I wanted to go to his place tonight. My penis kicked in before my brain could take control and I said "yes".

FML

[Alcoori]

If you don't wanna go you can still say no, it's not like you HAVE to :D

[Roto13]

Update: I found last night's guy in the supermarket and he asked me if I wanted to go to his place tonight. My penis kicked in before my brain could take control and I said "yes". FML

You have a date with someone you like. You poor thing.

[beje]

If you don't wanna go you can still say no, it's not like you HAVE to :D

Well, I "want" to go, the problem is if I should

[ilikeme]

You should fuck him. If it feels good, if you have doubts.. rain check? (do you use this this way)

Just ask him to show some papers that he's clean.

You know, old people

[beje]

You should fuck him. If it feels good, if you have doubts.. rain check? (do you use this this way) Just ask him to show some papers that he's clean. You know, old people

STDs are not what scares me (I always play safe). A guy that might fall for me (or vice-versa) when I'm not in the mood for a relationship with a guy much older than me does.

[ilikeme]

Oh, ok. I get that.

I personally would go for it anyway. It's just a date right? You or he probably won't 'fall' over one night. Try him out you know.

But if you feel doubt.. call and tell this to him? Or just call it off?

Oh what am I doing haha, I have no tips to give.

Whatever you decide to do, good luck and be honest!

[Holmes]

:( The megathread died when I was afk.

http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSTRE69B63U20101012 yay america. ...

This is a good thing maybe if it does win in court though... if it wasn't appealed it would only affect Massachusetts but now that it's going to higher court it could affect the whole country.

[Koomaster]

STDs are not what scares me (I always play safe). A guy that might fall for me (or vice-versa) when I'm not in the mood for a relationship with a guy much older than me does.

Just breathe and have a fun time and see where the night takes you.

[Cosmic Bus]

STDs are not what scares me (I always play safe). A guy that might fall for me (or vice-versa) when I'm not in the mood for a relationship with a guy much older than me does.

Gee, I dunno. Maybe you could... talk to him about your hesitations? I suppose I'm naïve, but he asked you to come over after meeting you (again?) by chance and seemingly would like to get to know you. Avoiding someone you apparently share interests and attraction with is silly just because he's "old."

Hm, going back to read your original post again, it sounds like you already slept with him? If that's the case, then this is partially your own fault. Why you would fuck someone you don't want to be involved with is, frankly, beyond me.

[beje]

Gee, I dunno. Maybe you could... talk to him about your hesitations? I suppose I'm naïve, but he asked you to come over after meeting you (again?) by chance and seemingly would like to get to know you. Avoiding someone you apparently share interests and attraction with is silly just because he's "old." Hm, going back to read your original post again, it sounds like you already slept with him? If that's the case, then this is partially your own fault. Why you would fuck someone you don't want to be involved with is, frankly, beyond me.

Because I'm a slut.

BTW, back home already. Refused the invitation to stay the night, it's just a 10 minutes walk back home and it's only 1:40AM so no big deal. Nothing of interest happened aside from the sweaty ass-pounding. Would love to repeat, but only if he doesn't start being clingy.

[Erebus]

I think I'm falling for a guy I've only recently met and I barely know. I feel good just being around him, is this the feeling? :lol
And the worst is that he's probably straight. FML.

[ZephyrFate]

I think I'm falling for a guy I've only recently met and I barely know. I feel good just being around him, is this the feeling? :lol And the worst is that he's probably straight. FML.

Happens to the best of us.

[Replicant]

I think I'm falling for a guy I've only recently met and I barely know. I feel good just being around him, is this the feeling? :lol And the worst is that he's probably straight. FML.

First rule of social interaction: keep them at arm's length until you're sure they feel the same way as you feel for them. Detach all emotions and don't fall for anyone so easily.

[SonComet]

I think I'm falling for a guy I've only recently met and I barely know. I feel good just being around him, is this the feeling? :lol And the worst is that he's probably straight. FML.

I've done that with straight guys and I have sort of that same problem right now. I hate straight crushes. They are distracting and extremely frustrating since it's kind of out of your control. I have no advice other than do not tell him about your crush unless he is gay/bi, and don't do anything for him that you wouldn't do for a friend you weren't into sexually.

[Erebus]

Happens to the best of us.

I guess. It has happened to me before, I won't lie, but this time felt different.

First rule of social interaction: keep them at arm's length until you're sure they feel the same way as you feel for them. Detach all emotions and don't fall for anyone so easily.

Easier said, than done but I appreciate the input from someone with past experience in similar situations. :lol

Good thing is that I won't be seeing him all that often unless I pursue it. This might help.

[Replicant]

Easier said, than done but I appreciate the input from someone with past experience in similar situations. :lol

>:(

And that's "experiences", good Sir! :D

Good thing is that I won't be seeing him all that often unless I pursue it. This might help.

Yeah, that should help. It's when you have to see him everyday that it becomes a problem.

God, there are so many hot guys in this conference I'm attending. Most of them are probably straight though. Not that it matters since the likelihood of me talking to them is slim. I did see someone and we both locked eyes. And throughout the whole session, he kept flexing his biceps by reaching for the back of his head. I like to think he did it for me since I sat right behind him /not a creeper.

[_Isaac]

I guess. It has happened to me before, I won't lie, but this time felt different. Easier said, than done but I appreciate the input from someone with past experience in similar situations. :lol Good thing is that I won't be seeing him all that often unless I pursue it. This might help.

Yeah this can get really bad. Good thing you don't see him too often. Just don't get attached to him. Keep looking for other hot gay/bi guys instead.

[fernoca]

Though, seeing DarkUSS with that Mortal Kombat avatar made me fell in love with him. :D :lol

But yeah, welcome (back?) to the "falling for a possible straight guy" camp.

[Alcoori]

It's weird but since my first straight crush, I have not fallen for one.

I never told him directly I had a crush but I told it to a couple of friends who I'm sure relayed the message. We were fighting at that time because that was the only thing I could think of to distance myself from him. We didn't say a single word to each other for 6 months despite both loving in the same apartment of 6. It eventually solved itself when I moved abroad for school and he stayed in France.

Since then, I have not been attracted to any otter straight guy. It's like I have a barrier in my mind that makes it impossible for me to fall for someone I know I can never get.
Of course I'm not talking about fantasizing, there can be plenty of that, but romantically, no nothing. If anything, straight guys are as interesting as any girl on that level. :D

[Cosmic Bus]

Don't think I've ever fallen for a straight guy. Closest thing would be the college freshman I worked with for a little while, who would always try to get me to wrestle (since he had been on the team in high school). He was really cute and I liked the attention, but there was certainly never a point where I felt like he needed to be 'converted' or anything.

The nice thing about liking feminine guys is that the chances of accidentally finding one that's actually straight is awfully slim.

[Suairyu]

I was totally besotted by a fellow drama student during high school. He was a raggedy bundle of pure man, with an amazingly funny and intellectual side (to be an actor, he'd have to, right?). Never told him, but told my most gossipy friend for some reason. I figure he knew. Wouldn't have been able to do anything about it anyway because I was dating a girl at the time who I was very much in love with. Obviously I was denying my inner bi slut.

[fragilebroken]

The most basic of questions, but I'm at a loss. WTF do I say in an introductory message to a girl online other than "nice hair, wanna f#*@?" Okay, it doesn't go quite like that, but maybe that would work. :D Seriously, I don't know how to start a conversation, or I get a couple messages in and completely blank out. Yay social anxiety and dating! There are currently at least two people on okcupid who I'd like to message, one of whom I met once before a while back, but I don't want to appear as the complete tool I feel I am.

Sorry, this is probably just insecure rambling because I haven't slept in a day and a half.

[Replicant]

The most basic of questions, but I'm at a loss. WTF do I say in an introductory message to a girl online other than "nice hair, wanna f#*@?"

LOL, I always wonder about online interaction too. Should I do the crappy chit-chat asking about their job/interest or should I just go for the kill and say "So, what do you have in mind?". The later sounds kinda crass to me but I get the suspicion that most men online just want to jump right into the sex.

[Alcoori]

LOL, I always wonder about online interaction too. Should I do the crappy chit-chat asking about their job/interest or should I just go for the kill and say "So, what do you have in mind?". The later sounds kinda crass to me but I get the suspicion that most men online just want to jump right into the sex.

For a first message I usually go with a variation of "Hi, I liked your profile so I thought I'd send you a message" with a little conversation starter sentence. Depends where you're messaging people, but if it's on okcupid, it's more geared towards dating than, say, Manhunt or Grindr (or whatever Lesbian equivalent :p).
But really, I'd rather go out for a drink to talk to the person and get to know them than chit-chat online.

[fragilebroken]

For a first message I usually go with a variation of "Hi, I liked your profile so I thought I'd send you a message" with a little conversation starter sentence. Depends where you're messaging people, but if it's on okcupid, it's more geared towards dating than, say, Manhunt or Grindr (or whatever Lesbian equivalent :p). But really, I'd rather go out for a drink to talk to the person and get to know them than chit-chat online.

I, too, would much rather sit and have coffee or something with someone than try to keep up some emoteless internet chat, but there has to be a certain level of "ok, you're not going to club me over the head and drag me back to your cave without my consent" familiarity before planning a meeting; at least in my experience - which is, admittedly, slim.

[Alcoori]

I, too, would much rather sit and have coffee or something with someone than try to keep up some emoteless internet chat, but there has to be a certain level of "ok, you're not going to club me over the head and drag me back to your cave without my consent" familiarity before planning a meeting; at least in my experience - which is, admittedly, slim.

Well yes obviously, but even then, meeting in a public place and telling at least one person where you're going goes a long way :)

I've been lucky so far, never had a bad meet up.

[_Isaac]

I'm not very good with conversation myself (online or off), but yeah I don't think there's anything wrong with the typical small talk openers. From there you can just slowly move on to other conversation pieces. Once you reach that level of familiarity where you feel comfortable then a real life meet up would follow, so you can see if this person is legit or if they were pretty much hiding behind the internet this whole time. I just repeated what somebody else said

[GCX]

There's some sort of weird gay revolution going on here in Finland. :lol

National broadcasting company YLE aired a talk show on Tuesday night where LGBT supporters and church members (some with very fundamentalist mindsets) had a heated debate about whether gays should have equal adoption rights and stuff like that.

And after the show, thousands upon thousands people have decided to leave Finland's evangelical lutheran church because of its stance on gay rights. Every day the numbers keep getting bigger and if the pace keeps up, it's going to leave a huge hole in church's economy. In the end it will force church to change its views to this millennium.

Good to see people vote with their feet. :)

[okno]

Went out with some friends last night, and met the most amazing guy vie met yet in the most unlikely of places. There is a bar in the East Village of New York called The Cock, and it is the seediest bar I have ever been in. It's pitch black inside save for a few lights behind the one bar, and the place is jam-fucking-packed so the only way to move around is to mash yourself up against people, so there are constantly hands grabbing you from all directions (it was uncomfortable at first, but you learn to like it).

So, we get ourselves a beer and try to dance a little bit, when this tall guy (mind you, I'm 6'2") comes out of nowhere and starts dancing up on me. I ignore him at first, but I take a look at him and well, I was also drunk, and danced with him. Dancing lasted all of three minutes before his tongue was in my throat and we went on an epic hour-long make out session until they turned the lights on and closed the bar. We go for a walk, talk a bit, make out on a corner and he eventually invites me to his place.

We didn't go straight into sex. Turns out he has a penthouse suite with a drop dead gorgeous view of the city, so I was just a little awestruck by the whole thing (he later told me he is wary of bringing people over for that very reason). We talked for a bit, made our way to the bed, and had two hours of crazy, crazy sex. Slept for two hours, and then had two more hours of crazy, crazy sex and then cuddled for a while.

Now, things between us seemed to be going beyond just a one night stand. We hung out, talked, flirted and then I left. Just before I left, he gave me his phone number but refused to take mine, because he says he's terrible with calling people. Do you think he's testing me? I'm worried he gave me a fake number. I've never met a man like him and our sexual chemistry is fucking unreal. I've never felt more comfortable with a person during sex, and he stated the same.

My question is, is it too soon for me to call him tonight? I can't stop thinking about him. I really want this to work out between us, because he's a phenomenal man. I'm a little hesitant, though, because my family doesn't know I'm gay, yet, and I don't know how they would react to me having a 45 year old boyfriend (I'm 23), but I also really don't give a damn what they would think, because he just seems that great.

The dating game sucks, but it's so much fun. The rush of emotions is insane, but god damn I really hate the uncertainty. I feel like I should just be valley and call, because all my life I've been a pussy and let several opportunities pass, because I took too long.

[ilikeme]

Well, first of all he could be a serial-killer. Or serial-fucker.

Second, call. If not today then in a couple of days at least. What can you lose ?

[Siebzehn50]

Well definitely call, but I'd say wait until after tonight. You sound like you're riding pretty high right now and that feeling is great, but it also makes it really easy to get hurt. Wait a day or two and then give him a call.

I'd be a bit cautious though, it definitely sounds like a situation that could end up bad for you if you go in expecting a great relationship though. If he's in his 40s and picking up young guys at really seedy bars then I can't say I'm sure he's the relationship type.

[dustytruly]

*story*

i'd wonder why a 45 year old man with a penthouse suite is single

but yeah give him a call... hang out more and more then you'll just work your way into his life lol... chances are he's been thinking of you, since he gave you his number.. he sounds like someone you could have fun with for a while... but that age gap is huge.. definitely something to think about when considering a relationship... although "age is just a number" it's kinda weird when he could be your father, and that idea can ware on you after a while...

i say give him a call for sure and see if you can hang out, if you really do want to pursue anything

[ZephyrFate]

smacks of one-night-stand rather than dating, to me =/