[brucewaynegretzky]

I find it insulting that people think that women are only in relationships until they can upgrade. That really has little to do with anything, but I believe and have always believed that cheating is a shitty thing to do. If you want to start something with someone else you need to end it first. I never wanted to "cheat" or "upgrade ", which was what this poster seemed to be implying.

Eh, now we're just talking semantics. Bottom line is people in relationships are tempted all the time. A large percentage of them act on those temptations. I don't really think it's insulting to any gender to be open about it.

Yes it's incredibly messed up when it happens, but it's not exactly uncommon.

[shanshan310]

There's a big difference between saying "all people are tempted at some point " and "all women cheat or upgrade ".

I remember reading that exact post by shanshan actually and it sort of resonated because I had been in that situation before. Her post, as far as I remember, was more of a "I'm not sure if I'm with him because I want to be or because it's comfortable and i'm used to it" sort of thing.

That was more what I was feeling, yeah. We've fixed things up now though, and doing great :)

[Devolution]

So I got this random moderation upgrade on OKC. The amount of fake pics utilized in women's profiles might explain some of the "she didn't even look like her profile" shenanigans.

[brucewaynegretzky]

There's a big difference between saying "all people are tempted at some point " and "all women cheat or upgrade ". That was more what I was feeling, yeah. We've fixed things up now though, and doing great :)

Glad to hear it.

Is it less offensive if I say a large percentage of people in general cheat or are just waiting to upgrade?

[shanshan310]

Glad to hear it. Is it less offensive if I say a large percentage of people in general cheat or are just waiting to upgrade?

Yeah, but it's still a depressing way to look at the world. :p

[Izick]

I know that not literally every girl is taken. That's one of the least of my problems, actually.

What's the problem then? (if you don't mind me asking)

[Kalnos]

people in general would be less offensive than saying just women, yeah, but it's still a pointless generalization that speaks of your insecurity.

We also fixed our relationship shan, and are likely getting married this fall.

[Graffgor]

Just want to say... Weddings suck so much when you're sober.

[Devolution]

Just want to say... Weddings suck so much when you're sober.

Can't chat up any of the bridesmaids?

[Kalnos]

Just want to say... Weddings suck so much when you're sober.

If you're trying to tell me.. well.. we're getting eloped so no problem there. :p

[Atramental]

Just want to say... Weddings suck so much when you're sober.

Bridesmaids, man.

Bridesmaids.

[Count Dookkake]

Can't chat up any of the bridesmaids?

An overweight friend of mine is getting married to an even more overweight person.

I straight up asked if there were going to be any attractive women at the reception. He did not answer.

I demanded a +1.

[Atramental]

All the weddings I've ever been to (about 5 total) were all full of super religious Christians.

Soooo... no bueno.

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

All the weddings I've ever been to (about 5 total) were all full of super religious Christians. Soooo... no bueno.

You should have charmed one of those hot super-repressed types. I bet they get freaky under the sheets.

[Darkmakaimura]

What's the problem then? (if you don't mind me asking)

It's a laundry list of things. Honestly, if I even make the list I will probably get ripped into, which probably isn't a good thing for me right now.

[Bucket-o-roadkill]

class reunion today and every single other guy was either married or engaged. 75% had kids or a baby on the way. What a fucking joke, genuinely wish I hadn't gone. my skin is still crawling with embarrassment. Im tired of trying now, making effort, etc. I'm just..... tired.

[Izick]

It's a laundry list of things. Honestly, if I even make the list I will probably get ripped into, which probably isn't a good thing for me right now.

Fair enough I suppose.

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

class reunion today and every single other guy was either married or engaged. 75% had kids or a baby on the way. What a fucking joke, genuinely wish I hadn't gone. my skin is still crawling with embarrassment. Im tired of trying now, making effort, etc. I'm just..... tired.

What reunion? 5 year, 10 year, 20 year?

You should look into the classic Indian staple, the arranged marriage, or its western equivalent, the blind date.

[Bucket-o-roadkill]

What reunion? 5 year, 10 year, 20 year? You should look into the classic Indian staple, the arranged marriage, or its western equivalent, the blind date.

10 yearish (more like 12, but it doesn't really matter). Blind date, haha if she's blindfolded all the time perhaps then yeah that'll probably work.

[Atramental]

You should have charmed one of those hot super-repressed types. I bet they get freaky under the sheets.

I'll probably be out of the South Carolina before I end up going to another wedding full of fundie Christians. Also, religious girls are still not that high on my list of "girls I want to sleep with".

Nothing kills my arousal faster than a girl who is a jesus freak.

[Kalnos]

I'll probably be out of the South Carolina before I end up going to another wedding full of fundie Christians. Also, religious girls are still not that high on my list of "girls I want to sleep with". Nothing kills my arousal faster than a girl who is a jesus freak.

But you could defile them, wtf man.

[Atramental]

But you could defile them, wtf man.

Meh...

[Minamu]

I am so disappointed. I was at a parade today, and there were like dozens of attractive girls, and my mouth went into complete lockdown and refused to open. Normally if I have my buddies with me, I can talk, but they weren't there and I felt incredibly... alone in a sea of people, as ridiculous as that sounds. Damn it.

My friend, that only happens when you are looking to gain something from the conversations (i.e. getting phone numbers, sex, etc). That's also why you feel like a failure when you don't get what you want. Also, let's say 5 months from now, will this day and this "failure" mean anything to you and your course through life? I seriously doubt that. You won't spend a second thinking about it because you'll have forgotten it by then. So there's really no point in dwelling on it now either imho :) This kind of negativity serves you no purpose what so ever, unless you use it as a final figurative kick in your ass to get out and fix the problems in life.

[Graffgor]

Haha I should have clarified... I'm with my girlfriend. (who is a bridesmaid).

She's having a great time though and that's all that matters.

I can't break out of my shell and dance and act stupid. Just don't have it in me.

[grumble]

class reunion today and every single other guy was either married or engaged. 75% had kids or a baby on the way. What a fucking joke, genuinely wish I hadn't gone. my skin is still crawling with embarrassment. Im tired of trying now, making effort, etc. I'm just..... tired.

Meh wait for a few years and a decent number of them would gladly trade places with you if their relationships fall apart of they find out they don't really want the massive sacrifice involved with having kids.

in the meantime, just go outside, it's a world full of opportunity and there are a lot of people who'd like to meet you.

[shanshan310]

people in general would be less offensive than saying just women, yeah, but it's still a pointless generalization that speaks of your insecurity. We also fixed our relationship shan, and are likely getting married this fall.

Congratulations ^^ Im glad it worked out.

[Atramental]

I can't remember if I asked this question before but has anyone here had any experience with hooking up with girls during summer school at uni? :P

The summer semester at my university is divided up into 3 sub-semesters and I'm taking a different class during each sub-semester.

[Air]

I can't remember if I asked this question before but has anyone here had any experience with hooking up with girls during summer school at uni? :P The summer semester at my university is divided up into 3 sub-semesters and I'm taking a different class during each sub-semester.

No, but it's a good time to party.

[Atramental]

No, but it's a good time to party.

Well okay then. I guess I'll just see what happens.

[Air]

Well okay then. I guess I'll just see what happens.

"Any crazy parties going on tonight?" At the very least you can drum up conversation about wanting to leave early from school and eat ice cream or something. Use that to your advantage.

[Quick]

Kind of like this girl who used to work with me. She invited me to "get some sushi sometime", and I'm thinking of taking her up on that once my schedule frees up next week.

Reason she's not working with me anymore? Got fired for stealing (not in the traditional sense, exactly). That's a huge red flag. There's the air of distrust already. The other side of that is she seems genuinely remorseful about it, so she knows she fucked up pretty bad.

Not really asking for any advice (but I'll take any, anyway), and I thought I'd just air that out. I thought about making a bigger thread about it, but it's just not worth the discussion.

[grumble]

I can't remember if I asked this question before but has anyone here had any experience with hooking up with girls during summer school at uni? :P The summer semester at my university is divided up into 3 sub-semesters and I'm taking a different class during each sub-semester.

Quite possibly the easiest time of your entire life to hook up with girls. Small classes, people tend to hang out with a smaller group more, weather's nice, good chance to meet new people and old ones under a new light.

I dated a girl for a while I met during summer school at university.

I mean hey, it might not happen but it's a good chance. I'd just focus on you, and if you are enjoying yourself and you see someone you're into, why not flirt a little and go out for drinks?

[Atramental]

Quite possibly the easiest time of your entire life to hook up with girls. Small classes, people tend to hang out with a smaller group more, weather's nice, good chance to meet new people and old ones under a new light. I dated a girl for a while I met during summer school at university. I mean hey, it might not happen but it's a good chance. I'd just focus on you, and if you are enjoying yourself and you see someone you're into, why not flirt a little and go out for drinks?

Excellent.

I still have things (mostly physical) that I want to improve about myself but I'll definitely stay open to any opportunities that happen to pop up.

[grumble]

Excellent. I still have things (mostly physical) that I want to improve about myself but I'll definitely stay open to any opportunities that happen to pop up.

Well I mean in most situations you're going to have to be the one making the opportunities, but it's not so bad. Just keep on trying to open doors you like until you find one that's unlocked, right?

Being in good shape always helps everyone, so can't argue with that!

[Hylian7]

To make a long story short, I ended up going on a date with the girl I thought I would like better than the one I was currently seeing. I was definitely right.

We had dinner and went for frozen yoghurt afterward. This girl is definitely more my type, and we really hit it off. In fact the frozen yoghurt was her idea, which she brought up during dinner, so that's a good sign. I think I should have tried to kiss her at the end, it was kind of one of those moments where our faces were pretty close, and she was looking right into my eyes, but my brain wouldn't move the rest of my body during that. Things went well though, so I think there will be other opportunities with this girl.

[Etrian Oddity]

Just need more feedback from you guys, fellas.

When you flirt with or approach girls, do you have to go all SimplePickup on them and make as many sexual comments/be as sexual as you can be??? Use the word "date" and be as utterly unambiguous as possible???

I ask because just the other day I had another girl flirt with me (although maybe she was just a bimbo and didn't realize it), give me her number and set up a hangout; then when I say I'm attracted to her she says she only views me as a friend. Keep in mind I didn't take my time, so friend zoning is out of the question.

This keeps happening to me and I'm hitting the point of utter confusion and depression with females. Do most girls recognize when you're flirting with them and I just happen to be on a streak where I'm meeting oblivious girls who think my flirting is just friendliness? What's the deal here guys? Do I need to instantly start making sexual jokes and comments or what? wtf

[TheSchwab_7]

Girl said I was sweet, smart, and attractive. Feels good man.





I'm not attracted to her.

[miksar]

Just need more feedback from you guys, fellas. When you flirt with or approach girls, do you have to go all SimplePickup on them and make as many sexual comments/be as sexual as you can be??? Use the word "date" and be as utterly unambiguous as possible??? I ask because just the other day I had another girl flirt with me (although maybe she was just a bimbo and didn't realize it), give me her number and set up a hangout; then when I say I'm attracted to her she says she only views me as a friend. Keep in mind I didn't take my time, so friend zoning is out of the question. This keeps happening to me and I'm hitting the point of utter confusion and depression with females. Do most girls recognize when you're flirting with them and I just happen to be on a streak where I'm meeting oblivious girls who think my flirting is just friendliness? What's the deal here guys? Do I need to instantly start making sexual jokes and comments or what? wtf

Only make sexual jokes if you feel comfortable. It should come naturally to you, otherwise you can simply offend girls or they'll think you're too weird. Work out regularly, practice more and eventually you'll notice how flirting is something you don't even have to think about.

And yes, she could've still friend zoned you. It's subconscious. Never say you're attracted to someone at the very beginning.

[ReiGun]

General question that I figured I'd come ask you fine gents...

Do you guys have any "go-to" first dates? Any particular places you go or things you like to do? Or do you just go with the flow and pick a spot/activity based on the girl you're with.

[FelixOrion]

General question that I figured I'd come ask you fine gents... Do you guys have any "go-to" first dates? Any particular places you go or things you like to do? Or do you just go with the flow and pick a spot/activity based on the girl you're with.

I think it kinda depends. Movies are always that easy idea, but it depends on the chick. If she's outdoors oriented, a hike is possibly in the picture. Rollerskating or the like is not a bad idea either, imo.

[Darklord]

Is a night of going out drinking(and dinner) a good first date? I did that the last date I was on and it went really well but speaking to others they think that's generally a bad idea. So I'm not sure I was just lucky or not.

[AdventureRacing]

Does anyone feel weird about having people try to set them up with girls? The women i work with always try and set me up with people (some with their daughters lol) and it doesn't feel natural. It's all in good spirits and i appreciate it and a lot of the time it's for a bit of a laugh but i'm not sure how i would feel starting a relationship like this.

Then after saying all that i'm probably going to go out with one of the girls they set me up with.

It's been pretty interesting just going out with the all the girls from work and pretty eye opening listening to the sort of things they talk about (especially related to guys). Some good some not so good depending on your point of view. It's weird because even though i'm not gay for some reason since i'm the only guy there they seem to just talk around me as though i was.

Is a night of going out drinking(and dinner) a good first date? I did that the last date I was on and it went really well but speaking to others they think that's generally a bad idea. So I'm not sure I was just lucky or not.

Anything can be a good first date if you make it work. In terms of this specific example it probably depends where you went. Going to a really noisy night club probably isn't such a good idea but going somewhere a little quieter is pretty much perfect for a first date imo.

[DesertEater]

Hey Dating-Gaf,

I met this girl in my philosophy class on Friday. We had a good conversation after class.
Before leaving, I asked her if she wants to hang out sometime.
She said yeah, sure. we exchanged phone numbers. The thing is that I told her to text me whenever she's free.
I think I went wrong somewhere there because she didn't.
Today(2 days after) is really nice out so I was thinking maybe I should text her or something.
Can I salvage this, Gaf?

[Klyka]

Hey Dating-Gaf, I met this girl in my philosophy class on Friday. We had a good conversation after class. Before leaving, I asked her if she wants to hang out sometime. She said yeah, sure. we exchanged phone numbers. The thing is that I told her to text me whenever she's free. I think I went wrong somewhere there because she didn't. Today(2 days after) is really nice out so I was thinking maybe I should text her or something. Can I salvage this, Gaf?

"Hey [insert name here], it's really nice out so I wanted to head over to [insert place here] and enjoy the day. If you're free, text me back and we can meet up. See you then, [insert your name here]".

[Cubsfan23]

Hey Dating-Gaf, I met this girl in my philosophy class on Friday. We had a good conversation after class. Before leaving, I asked her if she wants to hang out sometime. She said yeah, sure. we exchanged phone numbers. The thing is that I told her to text me whenever she's free. I think I went wrong somewhere there because she didn't. Today(2 days after) is really nice out so I was thinking maybe I should text her or something. Can I salvage this, Gaf?

don't text her.

[HarryHengst]

Hey Dating-Gaf, I met this girl in my philosophy class on Friday. We had a good conversation after class. Before leaving, I asked her if she wants to hang out sometime. She said yeah, sure. we exchanged phone numbers. The thing is that I told her to text me whenever she's free. I think I went wrong somewhere there because she didn't. Today(2 days after) is really nice out so I was thinking maybe I should text her or something. Can I salvage this, Gaf?

Text her.

[Atramental]

don't text her.

This.

If you're going to have any chance with this girl you can't make it seem like you're desperate for her attention.

Let her be the one to text you first.

[Klyka]

don't text her.

I agree, only use my above text if you can't reach her properly.
Try to phone her, she will probably get back to you to ask what's up.
If she doesn't you can send the text, but it's more of a desperate measure cause it reeks of desperation.

[grumble]

don't text her.

Bullshit. He put the ball in her court, which is a bad move since girls won't usually initiate any early steps in the relationship.

Text her, tell her you're doing something later than day and ask if she wants to come along. Ice cream or something.

Don't say 'would you like to go out for ice cream with me?'

say 'i'm going to get some ice cream. want to come along?'

version 2 is much more confident and less pressure. When she comes along, make it clear non-verbally that it's a date.

[soultron]

Random protip: if you're seeing multiple girls and ask girl A and B to hang out and only girl B responds, don't tell girl A that you're now busy with girl B.

Dude texted my co-worker, "Sorry, you took too long to respond and I'm busy with Terry now." He's busted his chances with her now, she declared. He could've just said, "Hey, I'm actually gonna raincheque you on that because something came up!"