[Chinner]

I was looking for apartments. Still single.

bro me and that escort kissed hows them pineapples for you

[Log4Girlz]

bro me and that escort kissed hows them pineapples for you

I'm jealous. How much is she charging for kisses? I need to start saving up.

[LosDaddie]

Why would that help?

Because GAF isn't going to actually help you get out of your funk. That is all up to you. GAF has given you, just like Combine, all the advice it can offer, and your response thus far has basically been "meh...that doesn't work for me".

Maybe the Depression thread is a better place for you than this Dating thread.

I never told her she couldn't. She just knows I don't like it. Then to call me and apologize to me. I guess it should mean something to me that she apologized.

Then "controlling" was the wrong word to use there. But my point still remains about controlling another person. It's not possible.

So go ahead and keep talking to her about the weed use, but it will be her decision to stop smoking. This situation is akin to ladies wanting to date a "bad boy" because they think they can change him for the good. Almost never happens.

[Shagwell]

Couple of days back I made these two posts in this thread. Despite her telling me she's got feelings for me, and saying she wants to kiss me and what not again, and trying to make plans to hang out with me, I haven't done more than hug her since last week. We talk, we hang out after class, she comes over, and it all goes swimmingly and I think the both of us might actually have something for each other, but the fact that I've landed this beautiful, genuinely kind, interesting girl hasn't given me more confidence - it's making me more and more nervous.

Don't get me wrong. I don't (think I) have much issues when it comes to approaching girls and getting with them. In fact, 2012 has been my best year thus far with the ladies and I've gotten numerous dates, numbers, and lays. But that was easy because I didn't feel anything. Now, for the first time in what feels like ages, I do. I think about this girl a lot, find myself always wanting to be around her, or at least talking to her in some way. And it isn't as if I'm hanging around the house surfing the internet and missing her - this is happening when I'm out at a party, or at the bars, or just getting high with a bunch of the boys. Hell, even playing soccer she manages to slip into my mind for a few seconds.

I'm not sure what advice I'm really looking for. Mainly I think I'm looking for some guidance, because the first time I asked for advice on here it led to one of the best nights of my life. I don't think either of us are looking for an actual boyfriend/girlfriend type deal right now. But I'm positive she isn't seeing/talking to another guy right now, and I've been blowing off the girls talking to me lately. I'm traveling in about 8 days time for a trip to Turkey and later the middle east with my friends for a month and so, naturally, I won't see her. And when I return stateside I'll be in NYC and she'll be in her hometown 7 hours away.

What sort of move do I make here? I don't want to lose her or us, and I think that if, whatever this is, can last through the month I'm gone we're going to have something really solid and worthwhile to continue upon. How do I avoid the nerves she's giving me despite being sure she's totally into me? How do I attempt to keep her from forgetting about me while I'm gone? And how can we somehow 'stay together' in the way that we have been lately without actually officially dating?

Sorry for the long-winded dilemma gaf but even the little piece of advice I received a week back led to a truly amazing encounter I'm not sure I'd have been capable of without the help of Dating-Age.

[Zomba13]

Greetings from the friend zone Dating-Age.




=/

[Omegasquash]

The doctor said it's not a serious thing, but it's always going to be there, so it's not some kind of pulled muscle or something. My friends tell me I should be happy it's not anything serious, but I'm still upset about it, especially if I'm going to have on and off pain there for the rest of my life. It's like, all I had before was my fitness. And now that's gone and basically all fucking gone now. I can probably start working out again, but what's the fucking point anymore?

Dude, seriously. You're frustrated as shit, you sound like you're losing a lynchpin. Let it be the straw that breaks the camels back to motivate you to do something right. Talk to someone qualified to handle this stuff. Not an easy answer, but something I'd encourage you to explore.

[Izick]

Dude, seriously. You're frustrated as shit, you sound like you're losing a lynchpin. Let it be the straw that breaks the camels back to motivate you to do something right. Talk to someone qualified to handle this stuff. Not an easy answer, but something I'd encourage you to explore.

Why is everyone telling me that these days? Not just people on Gaf either. I don't really like the idea of "talking to someone else" about anything either, not really appealing to me, and I'm just not really fond of the notion.

[Omegasquash]

Couple of days back I made these two posts in this thread. Despite her telling me she's got feelings for me, and saying she wants to kiss me and what not again, and trying to make plans to hang out with me, I haven't done more than hug her since last week. We talk, we hang out after class, she comes over, and it all goes swimmingly and I think the both of us might actually have something for each other, but the fact that I've landed this beautiful, genuinely kind, interesting girl hasn't given me more confidence - it's making me more and more nervous. Don't get me wrong. I don't (think I) have much issues when it comes to approaching girls and getting with them. In fact, 2012 has been my best year thus far with the ladies and I've gotten numerous dates, numbers, and lays. But that was easy because I didn't feel anything. Now, for the first time in what feels like ages, I do. I think about this girl a lot, find myself always wanting to be around her, or at least talking to her in some way. And it isn't as if I'm hanging around the house surfing the internet and missing her - this is happening when I'm out at a party, or at the bars, or just getting high with a bunch of the boys. Hell, even playing soccer she manages to slip into my mind for a few seconds. I'm not sure what advice I'm really looking for. Mainly I think I'm looking for some guidance, because the first time I asked for advice on here it led to one of the best nights of my life. I don't think either of us are looking for an actual boyfriend/girlfriend type deal right now. But I'm positive she isn't seeing/talking to another guy right now, and I've been blowing off the girls talking to me lately. I'm traveling in about 8 days time for a trip to Turkey and later the middle east with my friends for a month and so, naturally, I won't see her. And when I return stateside I'll be in NYC and she'll be in her hometown 7 hours away. What sort of move do I make here? I don't want to lose her or us, and I think that if, whatever this is, can last through the month I'm gone we're going to have something really solid and worthwhile to continue upon. How do I avoid the nerves she's giving me despite being sure she's totally into me? How do I attempt to keep her from forgetting about me while I'm gone? And how can we somehow 'stay together' in the way that we have been lately without actually officially dating? Sorry for the long-winded dilemma gaf but even the little piece of advice I received a week back led to a truly amazing encounter I'm not sure I'd have been capable of without the help of Dating-Age.

Give her a real kiss, tell her how you feel, and let her know that even though you're traveling, you'd like to stay in contact and take her out on a date (be specific and clear, not like a "lol it's been awhile buddy" date but a 1:1 romantic experience for lack of a better phrase).

Seriously, you're not going to fall into a relationship, you'll plant yourself in her mind as numero uno (because putting yourself out there like that is kind of bold), and she's not going to have time to develop anything that you couldn't undercut in that amount of time. Not a 100% guarantee, but fuck it, what do you have to lose? You're not in a relationship yet, remember?

[Klyka]

Greetings from the friend zone Dating-Age. =/

Show us on the ladder where the girl placed you.

[Chinner]

I'm jealous. How much is she charging for kisses? I need to start saving up.

only 5 shillings per kiss its quite a bargin if you ask me.

[Omegasquash]

Why is everyone telling me that these days? Not just people on Gaf either. I don't really like the idea of "talking to someone else" about anything either, not really appealing to me, and I'm just not really fond of the notion.

People keep telling you that because it's bloody obvious. For real man...check out the depression thread, give a read, get some input. No one likes talking to anyone or admitting that they might have a problem, but speaking as someone that has had to get a grip on a few things in life, it's worth making a call.

[Klyka]

Why is everyone telling me that these days? Not just people on Gaf either. I don't really like the idea of "talking to someone else" about anything either, not really appealing to me, and I'm just not really fond of the notion.

Izick: "I need help."
GAF: "Here's some advice."
Izick: "I don't like that."
GAF: "uh, ok?"
Izick: "I need help."
GAF: "uh...here's some advice..."
Izick: "I don't like that."
GAF: "..."
Izick: "....I need help."

Really bro?

[Log4Girlz]

only 5 shillings per kiss its quite a bargin if you ask me.

Ok, what is the etiquette on sharing escorts? Bros before hoes doesn't apply does it?

[Izick]

I didn't say I didn't like it, I just said I've tried all this stuff and it has all failed. You don't think I've tried all this stuff? I've tried "bettering myself," I've tried to be more positive and optimistic, even though I always feigned that when out with others, I used to be fit a few weeks ago, I've tried it all.

[Log4Girlz]

I've tried buttering myself.

[Klyka]

I didn't say I didn't like it, I just said I've tried all this stuff and it has all failed. You don't think I've tried all this stuff? I've tried "bettering myself," I've tried to be more positive and optimistic, even though I always feigned that when out with others, I used to be fit a few weeks ago, I've tried it all.

"Tried bettering myself", "tried being more positive", how do you even consciously try something like this? You either feel good or you don't. You can't sit in your head and think "I should be feeling good right now, I should feel more positive right now, I should..." you just do stuff that makes you feel good. Not make you THINK it feels good but MAKES YOU FEEL.
When I play video games with my friends and we are enjoying ourselves, I don't sit there consciously thinking "I am enjoying myself" I just feel good about it.
Do what makes you feel good, do what you enjoy.
Less thinking, more feeling.

The above is of course written under the assumptions that you do not have some kind of medical depression.

[Izick]

"Tried bettering myself", "tried being more positive", how do you even consciously try something like this? You either feel good or you don't. You can't sit in your head and think "I should be feeling good right now, I should feel more positive right now, I should..." you just do stuff that makes you feel good. Not make you THINK it feels good but MAKES YOU FEEL. When I play video games with my friends and we are enjoying ourselves, I don't sit there consciously thinking "I am enjoying myself" I just feel good about it. Do what makes you feel good, do what you enjoy. Less thinking, more feeling. The above is of course written under the assumptions that you do not have some kind of medical depression.

Working out and video games were the last two things I had that I really enjoyed, and those are gone. I mean, besides that I like hanging out with my friends, but since they're off to other colleges and places, I really don't see them that much anymore.

[Notrollious]

Don't quite understand how being upset about being led on for a month and a half, only to be told some bullshit excuse about why we can't be together constitutes me being "a little girl" about it. If you didn't want to be together, just fucking say it. Don't give me the fucking run around and then have the audacity to say that I'm being "a little girl about it".

Her reasons for just wanting to be friends: "I have health issues that I'm dealing with". Yet she goes out and parties and does drugs. So I'm going to assume, since she wouldn't tell me, that she has the herps, or any other fun std, to which I say that I'm glad I dodged that bullet.

Ah well. She deleted me from facebook, told me to fuck off. So that's all done. Delete facebook/hit the gym, etc.

[Chinner]

izick are you actually squall from final fantasy 8?

[Log4Girlz]

izick are you actually squall from final fantasy 8?

And do you have a positronic brain?

[LuffyZoro]

Working out and video games were the last two things I had that I really enjoyed, and those are gone. I mean, besides that I like hanging out with my friends, but since they're off to other colleges and places, I really don't see them that much anymore.

Make some friends where you are that you can hang out with more often. I'm not saying to dump your old ones, but you need a support system near you. I'm also gonna repeat what other people have said to tell you to go see someone about depression.

[Klyka]

And do you have a positronic brain?

I hope he is at least fully functional and programmed in many techniques

[Izick]

Don't even know when I could, I don't really see people outside of class. I would always just go to class, go to the gym, and then commute back home. I don't know if I need more friends anyway, I've been alright the past year without hanging out with any that much.

[Sarye]

I'm tired of seeing girls I like, and that I connect with on a personal level, and then I don't have the guts to even try and attempt to do anything from there. I'm tired of seeing fucking idiots, assholes, and douchebags get with smart, attractive women because they are some dumb fucking pretty boy asshat. And it's not like it's really the woman's fault at all, because if I'm not attractive, then I'm not attractive, but that doesn't change the fact that it's frustrating as hell to do this shit every single fucking day, over and over again like some shitty movie or something and see the same fucking ending over and over.

You know what these "idiots, assholes, and douchebags" do that you don't? Approach women. Seriously all of them have something we call confidence. Something we've been spouting since the beginning of this thread. You don't need to be a jerk to have confidence. I am a perfectly nice guy, but I'm confident in myself.

Why is everyone telling me that these days? Not just people on Gaf either. I don't really like the idea of "talking to someone else" about anything either, not really appealing to me, and I'm just not really fond of the notion.

Then why are you here? What do you consider what you're doing right now? Or do you consider GAF a faceless entity. Actually that would explain a lot of things about how you're acting here.

You probably think you do a good job of hiding your insecurities in real life, but it's hard to hide what you really are. People's first impression of me is that I am shy and quiet when I try my damnest not to be. Your body language, your voice, everything carries over. If what you post here is any indication, it's not fun to talk to you. I'm just trying to be honest, but you're seriously a debbie downer. But I've been there before. Many people here has been there before. It's not attractive. You're pretty young now.. but the older you get, the harder it'll be to dig out of that hole you dug for yourself.

[Klyka]

Izick, from all the things you have done before, what is, right now, the thing you would REALLY like to do again?

[Count Dookkake]

Don't quite understand how being upset about being led on for a month and a half, only to be told some bullshit excuse about why we can't be together constitutes me being "a little girl" about it. If you didn't want to be together, just fucking say it. Don't give me the fucking run around and then have the audacity to say that I'm being "a little girl about it". Her reasons for just wanting to be friends: "I have health issues that I'm dealing with". Yet she goes out and parties and does drugs. So I'm going to assume, since she wouldn't tell me, that she has the herps, or any other fun std, to which I say that I'm glad I dodged that bullet. Ah well. She deleted me from facebook, told me to fuck off. So that's all done. Delete facebook/hit the gym, etc.

No, it sounds like an apt description.

lol at you trying to determine the veracity of her medical claims.

Never dig into excuses. You already got your "no."

Bonus lol for the sour grapes.

[Izick]

You know what these "idiots, assholes, and douchebags" do that you don't? Approach women. Seriously all of them have something we call confidence. Something we've been spouting since the beginning of this thread. You don't need to be a jerk to have confidence. I am a perfectly nice guy, but I'm confident in myself. Then why are you here? What do you consider what you're doing right now? Or do you consider GAF a faceless entity. Actually that would explain a lot of things about how you're acting here. You probably think you do a good job of hiding your insecurities in real life, but it's hard to hide what you really are. People's first impression of me is that I am shy and quiet when I try my damnest not to be. Your body language, your voice, everything carries over. If what you post here is any indication, it's not fun to talk to you. I'm just trying to be honest, but you're seriously a debbie downer. But I've been there before. Many people here has been there before. It's not attractive. You're pretty young now.. but the older you get, the harder it'll be to dig out of that hole you dug for yourself.

People told me I was always funny, outgoing, and fun to be around with though, and it was true because I always was. Just because I don't like stuff, or don't feel great about things, or feel like shit doesn't mean I tell anybody about that, or they can secretly pick up on that stuff in any way. That's not true.

Izick, from all the things you have done before, what is, right now, the thing you would REALLY like to do again?

Honestly, I couldn't tell you. It would be nice to work out again I guess, but I'm not sure if I want to, or if I should. Besides that, not really anything comes to mind.

[Chinner]

And do you have a positronic brain?

i dont know but my mum said im the coolest kid in school.

[Klyka]

People told me I was always funny, outgoing, and fun to be around with though, and it was true because I always was. Just because I don't like stuff, or don't feel great about things, or feel like shit doesn't mean I tell anybody about that, or they can secretly pick up on that stuff in any way. That's not true. Honestly, I couldn't tell you. It would be nice to work out again I guess, but I'm not sure if I want to, or if I should. Besides that, not really anything comes to mind.

Bro, you seem depressed.
Like, the actual depression thing.

If you really can't come up with ANYTHING you can enjoy, then I think you should get help.

[Chinner]

i think somewhere, combine is looking down on this thread and feeling depressed too.

[Notrollious]

No, it sounds like an apt description. lol at you trying to determine the veracity of her medical claims. Never dig into excuses. You already got your "no." Bonus lol for the sour grapes.

Well the only issue was she kept changing her story. The final one I got was the health thing so I know it's all bullshit. How fucking hard is it to just say "no" instead of 5 different stories. It wasn't even me digging for anything. She would say one thing to me, then come back, tell me she missed talking and seeing me, then she's say something else about why it wouldn't work right now. I had already backed off and given up after the first time, so she kept coming back with different things and piqued my curiosity.

Sour grapes or not, fuck it. I don't take too kindly to being used and led on. That's what I'm pissed about. And maybe I am a bit of a vindictive person, but at least I got her to feel like shit, so mission accomplished? I always let myself get walked over, so I figured it was time for me to stop letting women do that.

[Count Dookkake]

You did it to yourself.

Why let her make a fool of you more than once?

[Klyka]

i think somewhere, combine is looking down on this thread and feeling depressed too.

He just can't help himself.

Btw Izick, you ever get laid, son?

[Izick]

I'm not that, I'm just in a slump is all. Ever since I got hurt or whatever, I haven't felt well. I haven't eaten as much and I'm always tired; it's probably because I haven't been working out or anything is the likely culprit.

Btw Izick, you ever get laid, son?

Why does that matter?

[Cubsfan23]

Well the only issue was she kept changing her story. The final one I got was the health thing so I know it's all bullshit. How fucking hard is it to just say "no" instead of 5 different stories. It wasn't even me digging for anything. She would say one thing to me, then come back, tell me she missed talking and seeing me, then she's say something else about why it wouldn't work right now. I had already backed off and given up after the first time, so she kept coming back with different things and piqued my curiosity. Sour grapes or not, fuck it. I don't take too kindly to being used and led on. That's what I'm pissed about. And maybe I am a bit of a vindictive person, but at least I got her to feel like shit, so mission accomplished? I always let myself get walked over, so I figured it was time for me to stop letting women do that.

always go by a woman's actions. I don't care what women say anymore.

[Notrollious]

You did it to yourself. Why let her make a fool of you more than once?

Well that's assuming I let her. After she told me "not right now" I backed off and cut contact. She'd then come back, then explain something else, and I'd continue doing the same thing.

Either way, yes, I know I fucked up a bit on my end. and I'm not going to complain about that. What's done is done. Unfortunately I overlooked the whole her being 19 thing, with her still having a strong attachment to the whole idea of highschool, so I got caught up in the whole high school girl bullshit.

Live and learn I guess.

*shrug*

at least this place is good for realtalk. I get to vent, you guys pick out why I'm an idiot, and I learn from my own idiocy.

[Klyka]

I'm not that, I'm just in a slump is all. Ever since I got hurt or whatever, I haven't felt well. I haven't eaten as much and I'm always tired; it's probably because I haven't been working out or anything is the likely culprit. Why does that matter?

Because if you are a virgin, you are probably putting the whole "getting laid" thing on an even higher pedestal than if you were not. Too many people who haven't had sex imagine it like this absolutely amazing,life changing event when in reality it really doesn't live up to that.
Sure it can be good, but it's definitely not something you should tailor your entire life towards.

[gofreak]

I really need to learn how to play it cooler after a date...fock me. I may have slightly redeemed a situation though.

I need one of those gmail puzzle things that stops you from emailing people when drunk...except for sms, and when you're drunk on someone else romantically.

[Tashbrooke]

Hey GAF, so I'm meeting up with this girl quite a lot now and we're kinda seeing each other but its not exclusive yet, the thing is I'm going travelling in a few weeks for around a month, is it better i keep it how it is now and wait till I'm back before we make a decision or not?

[Izick]

Because if you are a virgin, you are probably putting the whole "getting laid" thing on an even higher pedestal than if you were not. Too many people who haven't had sex imagine it like this absolutely amazing,life changing event when in reality it really doesn't live up to that. Sure it can be good, but it's definitely not something you should tailor your entire life towards.

It's not like that, don't worry.

[LeadProtagonist]

Working out and video games were the last two things I had that I really enjoyed, and those are gone.

Just play some fucking video games dude.

Shit, I think in my attempts to make myself feel better, I need to play more video games.

[Style Fox]

It's not like that, don't worry.

Let me ask you this though. Do people ridicule you over any of your physical attributes or your personality? Have you been called anything unfavorable recently?

[Izick]

Let me ask you this though. Do people ridicule you over any of your physical attributes or your personality? Have you been called anything unfavorable recently?

No, not really. I remember one girl back in high school said "yeah, you're real hot," which stung, but to be fair, I did make fun of her for being an airhead. That's not really recent though...that's about it though.

[Klyka]

Man, the guy looks totally normal. He's not posting a picture cause he doesn't want to destroy his whole story by looking like a totally normal, average dude.
He wants to keep the mystery alive!

Edit: I take it she said it in a sarcastic way? Who gives a fuck about what highschoolers think?

[bjb]

Posted this days ago but it bares repeating:

I don't know what to do about the spiral of self-pity thing though.

I'm just saying I've attempted a lot of it, and have gone nowhere at all. It's frustrating.

Get into therapy. The sooner the better.

Seriously man. You need therapy. Make an appointment with a psychotherapist. I'd suggest one that specializes in cognitive behavioral therapy. Until then, nothing anything you can do, say or have people tell you is going to work.

Now back to our regularly scheduled roller coaster.

[Style Fox]

No, not really. I remember one girl back in high school said "yeah, you're real hot," which stung, but to be fair, I did make fun of her for being an airhead. That's not really recent though...that's about it though.

I don't know man. You probably know at least a little about me from reading this thread so you know I'm very sympathetic to your situation but it seems like you have no real reason to feel this way unless you're not telling us everything. You haven't gotten any negative or positive reactions so it's all in your head right now. I mean yeah rejection sucks but it is a risk/reward kind of thing and even the best go through it.

Sure it would be cool if girls came onto you instead of the other way around but that doesn't work for guys like us (I'm assuming you really are unattractive like myself) so you got a choice to make.

[Klyka]

I don't know man. You probably know at least a little about me from reading this thread so you know I'm very sympathetic to your situation but it seems like you have no real reason to feel this way unless you're not telling us everything. You haven't gotten any negative or positive reactions so it's all in your head right now. I mean yeah rejection sucks but it is a risk/reward kind of thing and even the best go through it. Sure it would be cool if girls came onto you instead of the other way around but that doesn't work for guys like us (I'm assuming you really are unattractive like myself) so you got a choice to make.

You mean "that doesn't really work for 95% of guys" right?

[Lone_Prodigy]

Izick has a void in his life. He's trying to fill it with dating/women/relationships.

[Style Fox]

You mean "that doesn't really work for 95% of guys" right?

Depends on the guy I suppose. I'm sure anyone that is moderately attractive has had a woman come onto them once in their life.

[Omegasquash]

Sure it would be cool if girls came onto you instead of the other way around but that doesn't work for guys like us (I'm assuming you really are unattractive like myself) so you got a choice to make.

1) That assumption is toxic, both of you. Ugly is never about physical appearance unless you legitimately have something wrong...it's about outlook and attitude. The fact (fact) that you're in here posting and trying to chip in there Midnights...it's not ugly.

2) Girls will not come onto you unless you're like...Michael Fassbender or something. Only twice has a girl come onto me. Twice, and I'm 32.