[Log4Girlz]

Ha! Never heard of the 90/10 rule! never seen Hitch either, maybe I should watch it before the weekend, that 3.5 minute of video was very educational. Thank you sir.

90/10 works.

[NihonTiger90]

So the girl I met last week is meeting up with me again on Sunday (she wasn't available until Saturday evening) and the plan is to spend as much of the day with her doing stuff around town as possible. We've been texting back and forth since we went to dinner last week and she is awesome as far as personality goes. We seem, at least at the moment, to mesh pretty well and it feels at times like she knows what I'm thinking because she's thinking the same thing.

Hopefully, Sunday goes well. :)

[Johnny Cage In The Shower]

90/10 works.

Don't just say it works, do you have a real life scenario to back it with?

I don't wanna sit there and embarrass myself with a duck face, she'll probably laugh her ass off, walk into her apartment and never call me again!

[Log4Girlz]

Don't just say it works, do you have a real life scenario to back it with? I don't wanna sit there and embarrass myself with a duck face, she'll probably laugh her ass off, walk into her apartment and never call me again!

I've had three experiences with 90/10 or rather, 99/1 haha. We're having a great time and being playful, flirty and I reach in for a kiss to their cheek, purposely close to their lips...and they will purposely move their lips to reach mine. Sometimes it takes a few such kisses through the night before they finally go for it :D

[Johnny Cage In The Shower]

I've had three experiences with 90/10 or rather, 99/1 haha. We're having a great time and being playful, flirty and I reach in for a kiss to their cheek, purposely close to their lips...and they will purposely move their lips to reach mine. Sometimes it takes a few such kisses through the night before they finally go for it :D

That just sounds really awkward, but I am going for it, cool thanks.. also gonna watch Hitch before the date.

[Log4Girlz]

That just sounds really awkward, but I am going for it, cool thanks.. also gonna watch Hitch before the date.

If it worries you, just try it the one time. I've found myself in situations where loving kisses to the cheek kinda worked :P

[Johnny Cage In The Shower]

If it worries you, just try it the one time. I've found myself in situations where loving kisses to the cheek kinda worked :P

Yes, It may work if you or on your like 5th-6th date and everything has gone ok since and you feel physically comfortable with her, but for the very first kiss...?

You don't kiss her on the cheek, that'll just be a little odd, and kill more "fiery!" and tense moments that you could've created later on.. it's like taking the cake out of the over prematurely and you just got this half baked thing, and it will never be the same even if you shove it back in the oven again... :P Different strokes for different folks. Also I like to kiss my mother on the cheek!

[Tess3ract]

If you don't kiss on the first date, you're either a prude or she is.

Or she doesn't like you. I have never had a date where I don't at least get a kiss at the end.

[Razorskin]

If you don't kiss on the first date, you're either a prude or she is. Or she doesn't like you. I have never had a date where I don't at least get a kiss at the end.

Nothing wrong with being a prude.

[Liu Kang Baking A Pie]

If you don't kiss on the first date, you're either a prude or she is. Or she doesn't like you. I have never had a date where I don't at least get a kiss at the end.

This is dumb. All of my best dates have ended with a hug or handshake or something, and you know the connection is there, and you have an amazing kiss at the end of the second date. You have so much build-up from waiting since the first date and you confirm just how well you connect, so the kiss at the end there is way stronger than just "going for it" the first time.

[SpectreFire]

If you don't kiss on the first date, you're either a prude or she is. Or she doesn't like you. I have never had a date where I don't at least get a kiss at the end.

Yes, It may work if you or on your like 5th-6th date and everything has gone ok since and you feel physically comfortable with her, but for the very first kiss...? You don't kiss her on the cheek, that'll just be a little odd, and kill more "fiery!" and tense moments that you could've created later on.. it's like taking the cake out of the over prematurely and you just got this half baked thing, and it will never be the same even if you shove it back in the oven again... :P Different strokes for different folks. Also I like to kiss my mother on the cheek!

Not necessarily. Remember communication theory. the medium is the message. The message you're trying to send isn't as important as the way you send it. In this case, the way you deliver that kiss, is much more important than where you land it.

You can kiss a person on the cheek in a way that's a lot more seductive than kissing them on the lips.

[Devolution]

If you don't kiss on the first date, you're either a prude or she is. Or she doesn't like you. I have never had a date where I don't at least get a kiss at the end.

I don't think absolute statements such as this one help anyone and just make them feel inadequate. I mean I fucked on the first date so...

[JokerOfSpades]

If you don't kiss on the first date, you're either a prude or she is. Or she doesn't like you. I have never had a date where I don't at least get a kiss at the end.

You a Sith?

[subversus]

if you don't fuck bareback on the first date you are a loser and a pushover.

[Arjen]

What's your thoughts on kissing (lips of course) on the second date? I'm not gonna be that guy that's gonna "go for the kill" maan! Nor am I gonna base my night on kissing her, just gonna let the night take it's course and maybe kiss her after walking to her door, or at a nice relaxing, open air walk at the end of the night. What say you GAF? Too soon on the second date? I just don't want to take my sweet time in case I end up in the...you guessed it the FZ.

My experience, if there's no kissing on the second date, there isn't going to be any kissing at all.

[Etrian Oddity]

My experience, if there's no kissing on the second date, there isn't going to be any kissing at all.

This.

[SpectreFire]

I have a date with a girl that I saw in my dreams on Friday.

[subversus]

My experience, if there's no kissing on the second date, there isn't going to be any kissing at all.

Just your experience. Had it on 3rd date and 4th date - it depends on what you consider a date.

[BlueSteel]

Hey guys, what's the protocol on posting links of tips in here? I have one that I think might help those with kissing anxiety. I can't put it any better than this guy, so I won't really try to. I know a lot of those sites are associated with "pickup" and I'm assuming from the last pickup thread attempt that it's not going to end well, so I'm gonna ask for permission here before I get any flack.

[rkn]

just text her. If she responds try to set up a date. That is all you can do. Don't wait until she texts you because she won't unless you get along really well.

Asked her what's up how's it going. Nothing, nada...

Give it time. She'll contact you if she is interested. But don't wait for it and do NOT initiate contact.

Shoulda listened to you bro.

Wow rejection sucks even more when they won't even talk to you.

[Minamu]

That's precisely why we always talk about having an extraordinary life on your own, without needing women to fill some pretend void. If you lead a cool life, a little rejection wouldn't be a bother anymore.

[rkn]

That's precisely why we always talk about having an extraordinary life on your own, without needing women to fill some pretend void. If you lead a cool life, a little rejection wouldn't be a bother anymore.

Life is decent, and stressed/busy, doesn't really take away the sting, I'm not an automaton without feelings.

[MVP]

I bet you he got her too. Damn it! Makes me even more encourage to go out there!!!!

lol that's Anderson Silva, he probably got her due to being a celebrity.

Don't just say it works, do you have a real life scenario to back it with? I don't wanna sit there and embarrass myself with a duck face, she'll probably laugh her ass off, walk into her apartment and never call me again!

It works, and so do a lot of things, not just 90/10. I personally go to the other extreme and make the girl do everything, so I make her come 100%, but I may be able to pull it off just based on my personality.

Just try this if you have trouble kissing girls. Next time you're on a date and you're having some chemistry, you feel a good vibe going, and it gets a little quiet, just bust out with "So why haven't you tried to kiss me?" It's a good way to gauge where you're at. If she laughs and says she doesn't like kissing on the first date, then don't even try. Doesn't mean you failed, but she might just not be feeling a kiss YET, who cares. If she laughs and says that the man is supposed to make the first move, you're golden. Either way, she'll laugh and now you're talking about kissing.

From there you can tell her that as far as you know, women are supposed to make that first move. She'll look at you like you're crazy, but just keep it going. Tell her you're "old-fashioned", and the way you were raised, women always did the kissing, and then close your eyes as if you're expecting a kiss.

There are so many variations to this routine but it seems to always work for me one way or another, but at the same time, I don't always get a kiss on the first date, nor do I try or care. It's just not a goal. I'm thinking of landing consistent sex for years, not a silly kiss on a first date.

[subversus]

Asked her what's up how's it going. Nothing, nada...

good, move on then. nothing of value was lost.

[Antagon]

Don't just say it works, do you have a real life scenario to back it with? I don't wanna sit there and embarrass myself with a duck face, she'll probably laugh her ass off, walk into her apartment and never call me again!

Stop being a pussy. If she's into you she'll kiss you. If it's too early for her (tiny chance), she'll probably just see it as a compliment.
If she does laugh at you and never call again she wasn't into you to begin with, so nothing lost.

[subversus]

Just try this if you have trouble kissing girls. Next time you're on a date and you're having some chemistry, you feel a good vibe going, and it gets a little quiet, just bust out with "So why haven't you tried to kiss me?"

I think it's a good advice, but don't try to do this when you feel awkward, people. If you feel fine and the situation is appropriate then do this. But don't hold it in your head thinking "damn, when am I supposed to say that?!"

[Omegasquash]

My experience, if there's no kissing on the second date, there isn't going to be any kissing at all.

If there's no kiss on the second date, then a third date probably shouldn't happen.

[Darklord]

I'm going on a date this Sunday. She loves animals and all that so I asked her to the aquarium(also because the weather is total shit here at the moment, can't make it outside). It's right in the city so if we stay late we could go out drinking or have dinner later.

She's such a massive tease though. Every text is so sexually charged but she made it clear that she doesn't want the first date to go that far, probably not the second either. She likes leading up to that, not starting with it. x_x

[Omegasquash]

I'm going on a date this Sunday. She loves animals and all that so I asked her to the aquarium(also because the weather is total shit here at the moment, can't make it outside). It's right in the city so if we stay late we could go out drinking or have dinner later. She's such a massive tease though. Every text is so sexually charged but she made it clear that she doesn't want the first date to go that far, probably not the second either. She likes leading up to that, not starting with it. x_x

Let her take control, and GOOD CALL ON THE AQUARIUM. I've never hit anything but a triple or above by taking a gal to an aquarium.

[Minamu]

Life is decent, and stressed/busy, doesn't really take away the sting, I'm not an automaton without feelings.

I'm not suggesting you have to be an automaton, it's just that the negative feelings you may have aren't serving any useful purpose.

[Darklord]

Let her take control, and GOOD CALL ON THE AQUARIUM. I've never hit anything but a triple or above by taking a gal to an aquarium.

What do you mean let her take control? When we have sex? I won't push it(though I will go in for a kiss) with that but I want to stay on control of the rest of the date.

[rkn]

I'm not suggesting you have to be an automaton, it's just that the negative feelings you may have aren't serving any useful purpose.

Whether or not one feels positive or negative and how those effect someone are completely independent, some people take negative experiences and double up, it makes them work harder so they succeed next time, some people take the positive and become complacent and just think this is it, I've made it, prevents them from going forward - ie success breeds failure.

I'm just pointing out that being negative about a negative experience is natural, whether or not you have an extraordinary life to fall back on isn't the point either. You can have everything in the world and still care enough about someone that that person can hurt you, people are people man, have to roll with the punches, sometimes they really hurt right.

[white dynamite]

After messaging a girl for a few days on facebook, I finally got her number! I'm generally not bad at texting, I like to be playful when I do it, but I really really like her and I'm paranoid about blowing it. She makes me feel like I'm 15 again.

Any tips on what to say on the first text?

[Tex117]

If you don't kiss on the first date, you're either a prude or she is. Or she doesn't like you. I have never had a date where I don't at least get a kiss at the end.

I prefer not kissing on the first date. Just my style.

[Tex117]

After messaging a girl for a few days on facebook, I finally got her number! I'm generally not bad at texting, I like to be playful when I do it, but I really really like her and I'm paranoid about blowing it. She makes me feel like I'm 15 again. Any tips on what to say on the first text?

Well, I wouldn't text right away.

But when you do a simple. Hey, this is ____. What are you up to? She will text back and yall will go from there. simple as that.

[electricshake]

After messaging a girl for a few days on facebook, I finally got her number! I'm generally not bad at texting, I like to be playful when I do it, but I really really like her and I'm paranoid about blowing it. She makes me feel like I'm 15 again. Any tips on what to say on the first text?

Ask her out for a drink or coffee.


Kissing: If a guy hasn't made a move on me by the end of the first date, I'll usually just initiate (unless it's obvious that he's not up for it, but I don't think that's ever happened). I've had to make the first move the last three guys I've been involved with. I think it's an important part of deciding whether you want to see someone again, and has definitely influenced my decision on having a second date.

[subversus]

Whether or not one feels positive or negative and how those effect someone are completely independent, some people take negative experiences and double up, it makes them work harder so they succeed next time, some people take the positive and become complacent and just think this is it, I've made it, prevents them from going forward - ie success breeds failure. I'm just pointing out that being negative about a negative experience is natural, whether or not you have an extraordinary life to fall back on isn't the point either. You can have everything in the world and still care enough about someone that that person can hurt you, people are people man, have to roll with the punches, sometimes they really hurt right.

well, if you measuring dating in terms of success and failure the road may be bumpy for you.

[Omegasquash]

What do you mean let her take control? When we have sex? I won't push it(though I will go in for a kiss) with that but I want to stay on control of the rest of the date.

Poor wording on my part. Let her talk, let her show her cards on the sex thing. Keep the ball in your court for the date, as I assume you're there to show her a good time. I'm definitely not suggesting that you let her guide you.

If she's just trying to play up how she is in the sack or get dirty flirty with you and you're cool with that, then you're cool with it. But the more you let her express herself the more you'll see of her and from that be able to make a better decision.

[Darklord]

After messaging a girl for a few days on facebook, I finally got her number! I'm generally not bad at texting, I like to be playful when I do it, but I really really like her and I'm paranoid about blowing it. She makes me feel like I'm 15 again. Any tips on what to say on the first text?

You: "Hey, it's *name*, this is a VIP # so don't lose it. ;)"

Her: "lol hey" ect

You: "We should hang out sometime. I was thinking *event* at a good place I know *name of place*"

Poor wording on my part. Let her talk, let her show her cards on the sex thing. Keep the ball in your court for the date, as I assume you're there to show her a good time. I'm definitely not suggesting that you let her guide you. If she's just trying to play up how she is in the sack or get dirty flirty with you and you're cool with that, then you're cool with it. But the more you let her express herself the more you'll see of her and from that be able to make a better decision.

Oh okay, gotcha. Though she might be much shyer on an actual date than over text.

[white dynamite]

Well, I wouldn't text right away. But when you do a simple. Hey, this is ____. What are you up to? She will text back and yall will go from there. simple as that.

Yeah, I'll probably go with this. I don't know why I'm over thinking this so much.

Ask her out for a drink or coffee.

She lives about an hour and a half away. I'm busy for the remainder of this week so I'm hoping to hold her interest until next week, when I can hopefully free up some time and see her face to face.

[Jackben]

[subversus]

Girls sure love to ask if I was married, if I had serious relationships or not....

[Omegasquash]

Oh okay, gotcha. Though she might be much shyer on an actual date than over text.

Which is OK...some people are comfier on the other side of that digital wall/barrier thing. If she's shy, cool. Respect her, show her a good time and you'll both have fun...but don't be shy about your needs/desires. They're legit too. Have a good time on that date!

[Deadly Cyclone]

Ahhhhh damn dating Age. Nothing seems to be cropping up around my area.

Between work and the few friends I do hang out with I don't ever really get anywhere where women are looking to chat, or are looking open to someone coming up to them.

We hit the bars once in a while, but bars here are more sit down with a group of friends and have a drink, and not the nightclubs, everyone on everyone, bars (that make it much easier to relax and meet people).

Just not sure what to do. I could go chill at a coffee place on the weekend from time to time, but this never really leads anywhere. Going up to someone at Target, or a random place just feels wrong unless I've chatted with them a bit.

I certainly don't have issue chatting up a girl anymore. It's more just finding one to chat up, or one that even is the slightest bit interested in me to ask out.

What to do.

[Pastry]

Ahhhhh damn dating Age. Nothing seems to be cropping up around my area. Between work and the few friends I do hang out with I don't ever really get anywhere where women are looking to chat, or are looking open to someone coming up to them. We hit the bars once in a while, but bars here are more sit down with a group of friends and have a drink, and not the nightclubs, everyone on everyone, bars (that make it much easier to relax and meet people). Just not sure what to do. I could go chill at a coffee place on the weekend from time to time, but this never really leads anywhere. Going up to someone at Target, or a random place just feels wrong unless I've chatted with them a bit. I certainly don't have issue chatting up a girl anymore. It's more just finding one to chat up, or one that even is the slightest bit interested in me to ask out. What to do.

Why can't you talk to girls at bars like that? I actually prefer bars where you can sit and chat instead of having loud music blaring the whole time. Grab a friend or two and look for a table with just ladies and then ask if y'all can sit down. My friend and I did that last night, they ended up being lesbians haha but we talked to girls we didn't know otherwise.

[Darklord]

Which is OK...some people are comfier on the other side of that digital wall/barrier thing. If she's shy, cool. Respect her, show her a good time and you'll both have fun...but don't be shy about your needs/desires. They're legit too. Have a good time on that date!

Yeah, I know. Sometimes I revert back to my shy self. I'm not that person anymore and hate when I do it, I'll just have to push past it and if I'm cool and relaxed hopefully she'll be the same because of it.

[Deadly Cyclone]

Why can't you talk to girls at bars like that? I actually prefer bars where you can sit and chat instead of having loud music blaring the whole time. Grab a friend or two and look for a table with just ladies and then ask if y'all can sit down. My friend and I did that last night, they ended up being lesbians haha but we talked to girls we didn't know otherwise.

Oh, it's not the type of bar that gets me, it's that most of the time I have no wingman or anything, and the women are usually at a table with a group of guys. For reference, the main friends that will go out with me to the bars now-days are a girl that I've known since college and one of her guy friends (cool dude). If I'm down with my high school buddies they know the concept of wingman, or have the same goal as me, so it's much easier. :P

When it's not a club scene it feels odd to wander up to a table of some women and a bunch of dudes and try to start a conversation. If it's just a few girls at the table I don't have as much of an issue.

I generally am able to start a chat at the bar too when ordering a drink if another girl is up there. It just never really goes anywhere.


Overall, I'm basically on my own here in town as far as getting a woman goes. It's not easy either.

[Omegasquash]

Yeah, I know. Sometimes I revert back to my shy self. I'm not that person anymore and hate when I do it, I'll just have to push past it and if I'm cool and relaxed hopefully she'll be the same because of it.

Think about it from your perspective and your perspective alone, while keeping it professional and (f you're able) charming. Try this...when you're at the aquarium, say something like "Hey, let's go check this (whatever you want to see) out...I've been meaning to see this exhibit."

That's you being assertive, having a good time, thinking of yourself and including her in your good time. If you're feeling like you want her to see something cool, then do the old "You have to come check out this exhibit with the (sea turtles or penguins or some shit)." She'll have a good time and you've just built a teeny bit of cred...you wanted to and succeeded in showing her something cool.

Worst that could happen? She doesn't like the exhibit. Which would be surprising.

[Minamu]

well, if you measuring dating in terms of success and failure the road may be bumpy for you.

This is very true. I was having more success than ever in the online dating sphere over the summer. But it never went anywhere, mostly because I was out of town and meeting up was not possible. Not sure what happened but contact died out with all four girls just days before getting back home, but it's not bothering me. You'd lose your mind so fast if you started to over analyze what went wrong and feel down because of it.

[rubbishmonkey]

Yeahh! I have a date at the weekend, pray for me its been a while...