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Tunavi
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(04-03-2012, 04:04 AM)
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I've had this girlfriend for about 2 months, we go to the same college and we have a healthy relationship. She comes from a poor family, so she doesn't have a car and she can't afford to live in her own apartment over the summer. She isn't going back home because she got an internship thats important to her at our school. I have my apartment for the whole summer. It's not that we are actively deciding to move in together, she really needs the help.

Is it a bad decision to ask her to move in this early in our relationship? It would just be for the summer, she will have her own place next semester. Anyone have an experience with something like this? I need to make a decision in 2 weeks. I need advice.

Edit: My roommate is moving out once summer starts, she's going to move into his room and pay rent. I will bump the thread if anything notable happens, some of you guys sounded interested
Last edited by Tunavi; 04-03-2012 at 09:54 AM.
RevDM
Banned
(04-03-2012, 04:04 AM)
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L

O

L

yes it's a bad idea

edit: Truth is we need to see pics. This thread is a stealth brag until proven otherwise.
lush
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(04-03-2012, 04:04 AM)
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I've had this girlfriend for about 2 months

no.

edit: no.
Count Dookkake
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(04-03-2012, 04:05 AM)
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A gentleman would do this for a BJ a day.
MThanded
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(04-03-2012, 04:05 AM)
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If you have to ask then you already know the answer. No
pelicansurf
Needs a Holiday on Gallifrey
(04-03-2012, 04:05 AM)
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Don't do it. You may feel bad, but don't.
Eggman
Banned
(04-03-2012, 04:06 AM)
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OJdaKiller
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(04-03-2012, 04:06 AM)
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You don't need to caretake for someone you've only been dating for 2 months. Doesn't set up the best dynamics for the future.
Invisible_Insane
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(04-03-2012, 04:07 AM)
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Dude.

Absolutely, categorically not.
Sohter.Nura
Member
(04-03-2012, 04:07 AM)
I practically moved in with my wife / date at a time 2 weeks after we started officially dating. We hung out for a couple weeks before we fell in love, started really dating and 2 weeks i was sleeping at her place 5 or 6 times out of the week. I knew she'd be the one back then.

It doesn't seem like that's your case though :/ if you guys don't share your house very often, as in, you don't sleep at hers, and she doesn't sleep at yours all the time, then I say don't do it.


Originally Posted by MThanded

If you have to ask then you already know the answer. No

This :P With me, it just sort of happened without us ever saying anything.
alphaNoid
Banned
(04-03-2012, 04:07 AM)
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No, but you'll probably do it and regret it later. A lesson in life.
Tesseract
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(04-03-2012, 04:07 AM)
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do it but lay down the law.
kittens
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(04-03-2012, 04:08 AM)
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I would say it's too early to make this a permanent thing. If yall can agree that it's a short term arrangement, then I think you should do it to help her out. But there would have to be some seriously clear, open communication about it. Make sure she understands that it's temporary, and be consistent and clear if pressured to make it long term.

Originally Posted by Count Dookkake

A gentleman would do this for a BJ a day.

This is stupid.
Dude Abides
Member
(04-03-2012, 04:08 AM)
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Has she asked or are you just gonna offer? Three months isn't long but it will seem like it if you break up in two weeks.
lush
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(04-03-2012, 04:08 AM)
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Is she hot/dtf though?

Review/rate her for possible maybe.
ZROCOOL
aka II VerTigo II
(04-03-2012, 04:08 AM)
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Thread sponsored by Brazzers.
Mistouze
user-friendly man-cashews
(04-03-2012, 04:09 AM)
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How does she react at the idea of moving in with you so soon? That she have the same issues with it? If you're not feeling that she'll turn into a clingy animal I'd say do it.
Keyouta
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(04-03-2012, 04:09 AM)
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No. Don't do it.
Invisible_Insane
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(04-03-2012, 04:09 AM)
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Sidebar: how old are you?

How old is she?

The answer is still absolutely not.
Tunavi
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(04-03-2012, 04:09 AM)
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Originally Posted by Sohter.Nura

I practically moved in with my wife / date at a time 2 weeks after we started officially dating. We hung out for a couple weeks before we fell in love, started really dating and 2 weeks i was sleeping at her place 5 or 6 times out of the week. I knew she'd be the one back then.

It doesn't seem like that's your case though :/ if you guys don't share your house very often, as in, you don't sleep at hers, and she doesn't sleep at yours all the time, then I say don't do it.

This is where we are at. Things are getting fairly serious very quickly and she sleeps over twice a week already.

Originally Posted by Invisible_Insane

Sidebar: how old are you?

How old is she?

The answer is still absolutely not.

I'm 21, she's 18.

Originally Posted by kittens

I would say it's too early to make this a permanent thing. If yall can agree that it's a short term arrangement, then I think you should do it to help her out. But there would have to be some seriously clear, open communication about it. Make sure she understands that it's temporary, and be consistent and clear if pressured to make it long term.

This is short term living. we are very honest and we communicate better than any girlfriend I've ever had. I see this working. I just don't want to jump into something I really shouldn't.
Count Dookkake
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(04-03-2012, 04:09 AM)
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First girlfriend, right?
GK86
Homeland Security Fail
(04-03-2012, 04:09 AM)
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Edit- Too soon in the relationship.
Last edited by GK86; 04-03-2012 at 04:14 AM.
clearacell
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(04-03-2012, 04:10 AM)
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Two months is a couple of months too soon (some may say years). You don't even know the girl and you'll feel worse if you end up having to kick her out.

Originally Posted by Tunavi

I'm 21, she's 18.

K this makes it an even more resounding "LoL no"
Sklorenz
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(04-03-2012, 04:10 AM)
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I would say go for it if you guys get along great and are already spending tons of time and nights together. Since you're asking though, it sounds like you don't think it would be a good idea for whatever reasons. If that's the case, maybe you shouldn't do it, I dunno. I don't see the harm, though, but it appears a lot of GAF in this thread have had some pretty awful experiences with it or something.

Edit: damn, she's 18? I expected she was at least 3 to 5 years older if she was getting an internship.

What happens if you say no? :p
ChRoNiTe
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(04-03-2012, 04:10 AM)
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I smell a sitcom.
Tacoparty
Junior Member
(04-03-2012, 04:11 AM)

Originally Posted by alphaNoid

No, but you'll probably do it and regret it later. A lesson in life.

This x1000. I thought it was a good idea at the time because my ex needed somewhere to

stay at the time. I was wrong and life lesson learned. Never again.
Eggman
Banned
(04-03-2012, 04:11 AM)
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Originally Posted by lush

Is she hot/dtf though?

Review/rate her for possible maybe.

Flash
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(04-03-2012, 04:11 AM)
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Originally Posted by kittens

I would say it's too early to make this a permanent thing. If yall can agree that it's a short term arrangement, then I think you should do it to help her out. But there would have to be some seriously clear, open communication about it. Make sure she understands that it's temporary, and be consistent and clear if pressured to make it long term.

crappy situation because forcing her to move out after a few months may turn ugly. If she isn't expecting you to ask her to move in I definitely suggest that you do not bring it up. If she's expecting you to ask, I still say no but then you'll have other issues to consider.
Para bailar La Bomba
Banned
(04-03-2012, 04:11 AM)
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Only if you need somebody to play Gears of War 3 co-op. And when it's over, politely ask her to leave.

IOW, fuck no.
akira28
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(04-03-2012, 04:11 AM)
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You're only keeping the apartment for a few months? This isnt like, you permanent home or anything for years+? Sure why not? It's not like you own a house and you're asking her to add her life to yours or anything.

I'd consider it. It's so short term, it wouldn't really affect much.

Um...but...definitely have a reason for her to really need to move out when she says she will. Say you've got a brother who's going to need to move in at the end of the summer or something, so she'll have to be gone by then....It's possible she might love it there so much that she'll never find her own place.
Sol..
I am Wayne Brady.
(04-03-2012, 04:11 AM)
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If she needs it, do it. worst come worst you see the type of person she is way before it matters.
Tunavi
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(04-03-2012, 04:11 AM)
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Originally Posted by Count Dookkake

First girlfriend, right?

No, I dated a girl for 2 years.
Eggman
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(04-03-2012, 04:12 AM)
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Tunavi this is the thread that makes you or breaks you.
clemenx
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(04-03-2012, 04:12 AM)
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The word "new" makes it a no-no.
H.Protagonist
XSEED
(04-03-2012, 04:13 AM)
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Have you broached the topic with her already? If so, you're in a bit of a fix. If you say yes and you're doing it to help her, but not because you actually want to live with her independent of that, then as OJdaKiller said, it sets a bad precedent. If you say no and you have brought this up with her already, she's probably going to be a bit hurt.

If you haven't discussed it with her yet, perhaps helping her score a cheap roommate situation with someone you know is the better bet? Or at least making a real effort to help her find a place to stay. I moved in with my last boyfriend after only 4 months, and yeah, it seemed fast, but we happily lived together for 3+ years after that, so it could work. In that case he wanted to live together as did I, though. In your case you don't seem quite ready for it/want it yet, so perhaps not the best bet.
this guy
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(04-03-2012, 04:13 AM)
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Holy shit no. Why the fuck are you even asking? And she's 18? Jesus.
FairyD
(04-03-2012, 04:13 AM)
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Originally Posted by Tunavi


I'm 21, she's 18.

Even I know it's a bad idea to do this.

Edit: I change my answer, go ahead and move in with her. Sounds like you like her and she likes you and it would really help her situation out. You are only young once, it's a gamble, but if it works out it would be great. At the very worst; you'll be screwed over and will be heart broken, but, fuck it, that builds character.
Last edited by FairyD; 04-03-2012 at 04:39 AM.
Count Dookkake
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(04-03-2012, 04:13 AM)
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Originally Posted by Tunavi

No, I dated a girl for 2 years.

So your second girlfriend then.

More or less the same thing.
mr jones
Ethnicity is not a race!
(04-03-2012, 04:13 AM)
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Originally Posted by Tunavi

I've had this girlfriend for about 2 months, we go to the same college and we have a healthy relationship. She comes from a poor family, so she doesn't have a car and she can't afford to live in her own apartment over the summer. She isn't going back home because she got an internship thats important to her at our school. I have my apartment for the whole summer. It's not that we are actively deciding to move in together, she really needs the help.

Is it a bad decision to ask her to move in this early in our relationship? It would just be for the summer, she will have her own place next semester. Anyone have an experience with something like this? I need to make a decision in 2 weeks. I need advice.


Gut reaction: No, you shouldn't.

On the other hand, it IS only for the summer.


NOW, having said that, what does she bring to the table? How intimate have you gotten within the last two months? Are you prepared to learn about her sleeping habits? How she picks up after herself? How she expects YOU to pick up after yourself? How you will share a bathroom? How you will share the refrigerator? How is she around your friends? Do you get along with her friends?
Tunavi
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(04-03-2012, 04:13 AM)
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Originally Posted by clemenx

The word "new" makes it a no-no.

Thats exactly why I'm asking. Honestly, it feels right to move in with her temporarily, especially since she needs the help, but the fact that this is so new makes me want to be smart about this.
lush
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(04-03-2012, 04:14 AM)
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Originally Posted by akira28

I'd consider it. It's so short term, it wouldn't really affect much.

I'd give the relationship a 85-95% chance of failing. Enormous step after just two months, regardless of how short-term it is.

Factor in the ages and yeah, pretty bad idea.
OJdaKiller
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(04-03-2012, 04:14 AM)
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How will you feel when she dumps you at the end of the summer saying, "We've gone too fast. I need some space. I just want to be on my own for now." What a coincidence, right?

Believe me. This will happen.

Avoid this scenario by avoiding this situation all together.
Para bailar La Bomba
Banned
(04-03-2012, 04:14 AM)
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Originally Posted by Tunavi

No, I dated a girl for 2 years.

Let me give you an analogy: it would be like volunteering to go to prison for an indefinite period of time without committing a crime.
Invisible_Insane
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(04-03-2012, 04:14 AM)
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Originally Posted by Tunavi

This is where we are at. Things are getting fairly serious very quickly and she sleeps over twice a week already.

I'm 21, she's 18.



This is short term living. we are very honest and we communicate better than any girlfriend I've ever had. I see this working. I just don't want to jump into something I really shouldn't.

You really shouldn't. It's laudable that you want to help her, but you really don't want to establish that kind of dependency in a relationship this soon. There will be others. Let it go.
commedieu
Aliens made this post
(04-03-2012, 04:14 AM)
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Yes, and let this be a learning experience on why everyone is saying no.
Eggman
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(04-03-2012, 04:14 AM)
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Originally Posted by Tunavi

Thats exactly why I'm asking. Honestly, it feels right to move in with her temporarily, especially since she needs the help, but the fact that this is so new makes me want to be smart about this.

Then you know the "smart" answer. Don't do it.
Claude
Catalina's bitch
(04-03-2012, 04:15 AM)
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bill0527
um, I'll be right back
(04-03-2012, 04:15 AM)
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I did this once except it was a co-worker who I started dating. I let her move in with me after a couple of months and the bitch stole from me and on the day she packed her shit and left she cleaned out my piggy bank and stole my fucking laundry detergent.
Resilient
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(04-03-2012, 04:16 AM)
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Just do it. Half these posters are just jealous of the fact you could be getting pussy on the reg, BJ on the reg, sex on the reg whenever you want 24/7. You haven't got much to lose, but there is a lot to gain.
Blunt
Banned
(04-03-2012, 04:16 AM)
Do it.

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