[dr3upmushroom]

I wonder what the "correct" answers are.

I'd personally answer A to both. The hare didn't exctly do anything too wise, but two of the other options are idiots and there was no owl. And the animals seem to have eaten the pineapple because they were ashamed for believing in it. Though "annoyed" is a weird description of that, so I might be thinking about this wrong.

I'd be livid if I were a parent with a kid going to a school where this was given.

[The Technomancer]

To the people saying that "They wanted to." is not an answer: would you please explain to me why it is not? I feel like I'm missing out on some great understanding. I understand it's not the "full answer" since it doesn't explain their motivation for wanting to do so, but why doesn't it work here?

"they wanted to" can be appended to the other three answers with absolutely no change in meaning. "they wanted to because they were annoyed" or "they wanted to because they were hungry". The above could replace the actual answers without any logical difference.

[joeyjoejoeshabadoo]

Agree with you on number 1, but not sure about number 2. If "sleeve" was being used in the literal sense, I'd pick the moose, but you're probably right. Going solely by the text (which is all we have), it's most likely the hare, who went for a sure victory.

Except the moose was too dumb to know "Up his sleeve" is a turn of phrase. Fuck this story is stupid.

[Ashes1396]

"they wanted to" can be appended to the other three answers with absolutely no change in meaning. "they wanted to because they were annoyed" or "they wanted to because they were hungry". The above could replace the actual answers without any logical difference.

And?

[Einherjar]

His thoughts on #1 are in line with what I figured. D is the only option that really has any weight since there was no information given towards any of the other answers. #2 also makes sense, since the hare is the only animal who really suspended belief and went with it. Also, as MidgarBlowedUp pointed out (referring to AFTER the hare had already ran off and was mid race), The animals glanced at each other blankly, and then started to realize how dumb they were.

The part you bolded is one reason the animals could be annoyed at the pineapple, for making them feel stupid.

[Vaporak]

Question #1 has an objective answer, question #2 probably doesn't.

Question 2 is the only one with a textually supported answer, the story literally says the other animals besides the hare are stupid.

[nicoga3000]

The part you bolded is one reason the animals could be annoyed at the pineapple, for making them feel stupid.

True, but at that point, you're inferring character traits versus analyzing the material presented.

[Deified Data]

I don't think it does. None of the answers are necessarily true. And based on the context none of them seem more likely to be true than the others. 1. Why did the animals eat the pineapple? a. they were annoyed - only could be true, they could be annoyed because they felt tricked/not tricked b. they were amused - only could be true, the story establishes through context that anthropomorphic animals enjoy sport with anthropomorphic plants c. they were hungry - only could be true, that animals need to eat is a reasonable assumption based on real life d. they wanted to - only could be true, the story strongly implies that they are cognizant and have the ability to make conscious decisions

Thing is, we're assuming the correct answer is one of the answers provided. If A is true, so is D. If B is true, so is D. If C is true, so is D. D is true in every provided instance, so must be objectively true in the question:answer framework.

[Korey]

Lost it at:

The moose spoke up. “Pineapples don’t have sleeves.”

[Evlar]

The story doesn't explicitly state they wanted to eat the pineapple. Perhaps they did it because their religion, imposed upon them by the evil raccoons who rule this forest, compells them to ritually slaughter and eat a pineapple on Thursdays, and this happened to be Thursday. This ritual fills the animals with great sorrow, because it means a death of one their friends amongst the pineapples, because it is barbaric, and because it is a reminder of the cruel whims of their raccoon overlords; they certainly do not want to do it.

You could say that the story doesn't say anything about that, which is true, but it also says nothing about them wanting to do it. It simply says it happened.

[Ashes1396]

Question 2 is the only one with a textually supported answer, the story literally says the other animals besides the hare are stupid.

Where? ;)

The contest of the least foolish is between the moose and the hare.
Is the moose displaying wit? Or is he dumb? The crow, does say: oh you know what I mean, thus, I'm inclined to think, the moose is witty. Otherwise, the hare, is the least foolish.

[Deified Data]

The story doesn't explicitly state they wanted to eat the pineapple. Perhaps they did it because their religion, imposed upon them by the evil raccoons who rule this forest, compells them to ritually slaughter and eat a pineapple on Thursdays, and this happened to be Thursday. This ritual fills the animals with great sorrow, because it means a death of one their friends amongst the pineapples, because it is barbaric, and because it is a reminder of the cruel whims of their raccoon overlords; they certainly do not want to do it. You could say that the story doesn't say anything about that, which is true, but it also says nothing about them wanting to do it. It simply says it happened.

We can only assume what the story tells us. We see them eat the pineapple, and are provided with 3 motives for doing so: hunger, annoyance, amusement - whatever their reason, they wanted to.

[Evlar]

We can only assume what the story tells us. We see them eat the pineapple, and are provided with 3 motives for doing so: hunger, annoyance, amusement - whatever their reason, they wanted to.

Not at all true. There's nothing in the story to say they wanted to; the motivations you list are from the answers to the multiple choice questions exterior to the story.

[XenoRaven]

I'm convinced that somewhere along the line the words "dude," "like," and "man" were edited out of the original story.

@KrymynalChylde: I'm glad someone got it. :)

[akira28]

maybe there is no right answer, and they expected everyone to get it wrong as a statistical test of some kind?

[Cat Party]

Honestly, I can't shake the feeling this was a joke question that was accidentally included in the test.

[Ashes1396]

We can only assume what the story tells us. We see them eat the pineapple, and are provided with 3 motives for doing so: hunger, annoyance, amusement - whatever their reason, they wanted to.

.

I think this is a good question. This thread if anything proves people don't know about Litrary Nonsense, even though there are very popular works of such creation.

[linko9]

This is one of the funniest things I've seen in a while. Some dude is siting out there laughing his ass off because he got this shit on a state-administered exam. Joke's on the state for not examining the test they were about to administer.

[distantmantra]

Honestly, I can't shake the feeling this was a joke question that was accidentally included in the test.

Or it was a joke question inserted by the printers.

[Zefah]

"they wanted to" can be appended to the other three answers with absolutely no change in meaning. "they wanted to because they were annoyed" or "they wanted to because they were hungry". The above could replace the actual answers without any logical difference.

I don't feel that's answering my question of why "because they wanted to." is a non-answer.

In terms of logical steps, it would go something as follows:

annoyance -> desire to exact revenge by inflicting pain or murder (want) -> eat
amusement -> might be tasty! (want) -> eat
hungry -> want to fill stomach (want) -> eat

I suppose the want step could be removed if we knew the exact reason why they wanted to eat the pineapple. However, in this case, we don't. In all of the above cases, "want" is the step immediately before "eat", so it seems like more of a valid answer to the simple question: "Why did they eat it?" than any of the others.

[nicoga3000]

Not at all true. There's nothing in the story to say they wanted to; the motivations you list are from the answers to the multiple choice questions exterior to the story.

The best reason (in my opinion) to argue D for question 1 is that there is NO information given to suggest ANY of the other answers.

a. they were annoyed - The animals never exhibit any signs of annoyance. In fact, they were cheering with excitement over their idea to "FOIL THE PLAN!" They realized how dumb they were, but they never elaborated on this, so they never said how they FELT about "feeling dumb". So you can't infer annoyance (as that's outside the scope of the text).

b. they were amused - Amusement is never suggested. Again, after they realized how dumb they were, the other animals were not mentioned (until the feast). You aren't given any clues as to how they felt.

c. they were hungry - This would be the ONLY other answer I could see being argued, but there's no major clues to suggest this outside of the fact that the hare finished "a few hours later". One could suggest that they would have been hungry after a few hours, but nothing is presented about hunger of ANY sorts.

d. they wanted to - In line with my other arguments, nothing is suggested about this. But given that the line is simply put forth and stated so matter-of-factly, it's the only one I can see making sense. Without ANY other information, you can't infer A, B, or C. You're still [sort of] being asked to look outside the scope of the story by answering D, but only in that the other answers aren't able to be supported by facts. D is also the most vague and most "all-inclusive" answer.

[Zefah]

Question 2 is the only one with a textually supported answer, the story literally says the other animals besides the hare are stupid.

And the owl. The owl wasn't mentioned in the entire story, so we can't assume it was present during that scene.

[Alphahawk]

They ate the pineapple because they were annoyed. While D) could be correct it doesn't test reading comprehension in anyway, therefor we can assume it is the incorrect answer.

Similarly although the owl is the wisest for not showing up, this isn't explained by the story therefor A) is the correct answer as the Hare won both a ninja and toothpaste.

[Bulbo Urethral Baggins]

His thoughts on #1 are in line with what I figured. D is the only option that really has any weight since there was no information given towards any of the other answers. #2 also makes sense, since the hare is the only animal who really suspended belief and went with it. Also, as MidgarBlowedUp pointed out (referring to AFTER the hare had already ran off and was mid race), The animals glanced at each other blankly, and then started to realize how dumb they were.

The hare was a dumbass for thinking he had to run fast. He finished the race as fast as he started it. That implies that he thought it was going to be competitive. The moose is the only answer.

[mbmonk]

I have heard reading comprehension being likened to a baseball pitcher ( the author ) and the catcher ( the reader ). You can't fault the catcher for missing the pitch ( story ) if it's a crappy throw by the pitcher.

This is clearly a crappy throw by the pitcher.

[kudos.]

I'm pretty sure I'm right about this, GAF. You can copy off of me if you want to... D, because they'd still "want to" regardless of whether they were annoyed, amused, or hungry. A, because the hare recognized a sure thing and went for it, while the others doubted themselves.

This was exactly my consensus, but mainly D for the first one because none of the other answers seemed correct and the action could have been instinctual.

[genjiZERO]

Thing is, we're assuming the correct answer is one of the answers provided. If A is true, so is D. If B is true, so is D. If C is true, so is D. D is true in every provided instance, so must be objectively true in the question:answer framework.

I dunno. It isn't necessary that they want to eat the pineapple for those other reasons. For example, if I'm stuck on a frozen mountain top, I may resort to cannibalism, but I don't want to. Or if I'm sick - I don't want to eat, but I have to anyway. Or they could eat because they found amusement in spite, but didn't want to.... Maybe if it said "going to eat".... but it would be pretty tortuous to say want to = going to.

[Toski]

1)D
2)B

Since no specific answer was given or inferred to why the animals ate the pineapple, the only answer that makes sense is the most general one.

For the wisest animal, it has to be the moose because he made a true observation of the pineapple and took no action beyond that.

[Deified Data]

1)D 2)B Since no specific answer was given or inferred to why the animals ate the pineapple, the only answer that makes sense is the most general one. For the wisest animal, it has to be the moose because he made a true observation of the pineapple and took no action beyond that.

But the hare made the truest observation of the pineapple in assuming it was nothing more than a fruit. The moose's observation, that "pineapples have no sleeves", is still partially based on the mistaken and paranoid assumption of the crow that the pineapple is somehow capable of coming out ahead.

[mavs]

But the hare made the truest observation of the pineapple in assuming it was nothing more than a fruit. The moose's observation, that "pineapples have no sleeves", is still partially based on the mistaken and paranoid assumption of the crow that the pineapple is somehow capable of coming out ahead.

The hare talked to a pineapple, unprompted.

And then, lured by the promise of ninja and toothpaste, agreed when it proposed a contest.

The moose on the other hand is no worse than idiomatically incapable.

Why am i writing about thissssssss

[Deified Data]

The hare talked to a pineapple, unprompted. And then, lured by the promise of ninja and toothpaste, agreed when it proposed a contest. The moose on the other hand is no worse than idiomatically incapable. Why am i writing about thissssssss

The best thing about this thread is we can just throw our hands in the air and call it stupid when we're tired of talking about it. The best kind of debate, IMO, one without any real stakes.

[Toski]

But the hare made the truest observation of the pineapple in assuming it was nothing more than a fruit. The moose's observation, that "pineapples have no sleeves", is still partially based on the mistaken and paranoid assumption of the crow that the pineapple is somehow capable of coming out ahead.

The hare talked to the pineapple which then talked back. It is more than an ordinary fruit. The real question is did the hare get his ninja and year supply of toothpaste? If not then the moose is the wisest.

[24FrameDaVinci]

I actually burst out laughing when they said the animals ate the immobile pineapple. What in good fuck were they thinking? :lol :lol

[Khold]

I'm with the idea that it has to be D, A. 1D is almost like a tautology, and 2A because the hare knew he could get a free ninja and toothpaste and took advantage.

[Evlar]

I justed realized this was a viral for Fruit Ninja.

[mu cephei]

The hare talked to a pineapple, unprompted. And then, lured by the promise of ninja and toothpaste, agreed when it proposed a contest. The moose on the other hand is no worse than idiomatically incapable. Why am i writing about thissssssss

Quoted for sheer hilarity.

I'm curious to know what some of the other questions were. Because I'm starting to think this hare/pineapple story is quite brilliant.

[jorma]

This pineapple says that the moose is full of shit.

[xbhaskarx]

I'm pretty sure I'm right about this, GAF. You can copy off of me if you want to... 1. Why did the animals eat the pineapple? a. they were annoyed b. they were amused c. they were hungry d. they wanted to D, because they'd still "want to" regardless of whether they were annoyed, amused, or hungry. 2. Who was the wisest? a. the hare b. moose c. crow d. owl A, because the hare recognized a sure thing and went for it, while the others doubted themselves.

You win.

[Zeitgeister]

Can I have some millions too? I promise I'll pretend to give a crap about your tests, honest!

[Rich Uncle Skeleton]

This whole discussion is silly, because it's an inexcusably awful question, but I have to say "(a) because they were annoyed" and "(a) the hare".
I can't really argue with people being hyper-literal and answering "because they wanted to," but it honestly feels like a joke answer that's not even meant to be considered. It's basically "Nah, I'm not gonna answer the question." The abruptness of the final line suggests to me that it's meant to be a punchline linked to their (vaguely implied) annoyance at having been duped.

As for the second question, it's got to be either the crow or the hare. The crow is certainly not dumb to suspect foul play. Something did smell fishy about it. But the solution is pretty dumb. Cheer for him? How could that possibly foil any plot? Also, he's wrong and the pineapple just sits there. So I go with hare because, even if he doesn't display any immense wisdom, he at least doesn't do anything that a wise person wouldn't do. As Jennings said, the moose is a dumb-ass played for laughs and the owl is non-existent.

[Zefah]

I certainly find the different interpretations interesting. When I read it, I simply can't imagine the animals being annoyed in the slightest at the end of that story. If anything they may were probably embarrassed at themselves for how they acted. I wonder if the different interpretations are a reflection of our personalities.

[Trent Strong]

Why did the hell rabbit think that the pineapple could deliver on his promise that the winner of the race would recieve a ninja and the toothpaste?

[First Name]

I certainly find the different interpretations interesting. When I read it, I simply can't imagine the animals being annoyed in the slightest at the end of that story. If anything they may were probably embarrassed at themselves for how they acted. I wonder if the different interpretations are a reflection of our personalities.

The story is a metaphor for the breakdown of society and rational thinking when a group is confronted with a situation they can't understand. At the end they are shamed by the senselessness of their actions when they view their behavior objectively outside the framework of the confusing situation. In a rage they destroy the object (the pineapple) that they blame their failures on, failing to recognize that they were the "pineapple" all along.

I didn't read the story.

[Loki]

Here are two of the questions: 1. Why did the animals eat the pineapple? a. they were annoyed b. they were amused c. they were hungry d. they wanted to

What a terrible question. First off, all of the other choices can be subsumed under "they wanted to," so that's a horrible answer to offer people. Based on the passage, I would say the answer is (A) because it said the other animals started to realize how dumb they were, but even that is really reaching. Horrible question.

2. Who was the wisest? a. the hare b. moose c. crow d. owl

The hare, because he realized that the pineapple couldn't move (and thus couldn't possibly win the race), and he never wavered in that that belief. Again, however, an absurd question. The inference it's asking you to draw doesn't logically follow from any of the information in the story. Me choosing the hare as the answer is a best guess, and having taken many reading comp exams in my lifetime, I've never had to guess on any of them, which shows how poorly written both the passage and the questions are.

I would also like to say that this story was PAINFUL to read, almost to the point of it being incoherent. No logical structure, flow, and even the writing itself was very poor to say the least. How did this get past QA? Jeez...

[Devolution]

None of the above. You simply crumple the paper up and ask to find who wrote this section of the test so you can punch them in the face.

[Femmeworth]

How the frak did the pineapple even approach the hare in the first place?

[Nils]

This is one of the funniest things I've seen in a while. Some dude is siting out there laughing his ass off because he got this shit on a state-administered exam. Joke's on the state for not examining the test they were about to administer.

I would totally be that person if I had that job. People all over the web are analyzing my bullshit story. Amazing.

I vote moose for smartest character, he's clearly making an asshole quip. The crow tried to be smart but was way off.

[grap3fruitman]

This is clearly furry propaganda.

Talking pineapple? Nonsense!

Talking animals? No prob!

[opticalmace]

What the hell are pineapple stumps?

[Kusagari]

Why the hell is anyone saying the moose? He not only doesn't understand common phrases, but bet on the pineapple anyway.

The rabbit is the only option, even if the story doesn't make him seem smart either. Actually, it's probably a trick question. The owl is the smartest for not being involved in this dumbass story.