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XiaNaphryz
LATIN, MATRIPEDICABUS, DO YOU SPEAK IT
(04-24-2012, 02:13 AM)
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Police: Palm Bay man attacked woman with box of snack crackers

Police said a 37-year-old man upset because a woman attended an Earth Day concert, faces charges after throwing a box of snack crackers at her and injuring her eye.

Andy Vincent Gatz was charged with battery and violation of an injunction after Palm Bay police were called Monday to a home in the 500 block of Rhine Road to investigate a disturbance.

Police said Gatz, who was under a court-ordered injunction to avoid having any contact with the victim, confronted the woman over her attending the Orlando concert and then struck her with the box of Cheez-It crackers.

A small square cracker apparently went into her right eye and caused her injury, said Yvonne Martinez, spokeswoman for the Palm Bay Police Department.


Police said Gatz who later told officers that he only tossed a cracker at the woman and not a whole box fled the scene but later turned himself in to authorities.

The woman was treated at the emergency room, police said.

A judge ordered Tuesday that Gatz was to have no further contact with the woman but could return to the home to retrieve personal goods under the supervision of a police officer.

He was allowed to leave jail on community supervision following a court hearing Wednesday, court records show.

He will have a May 8 court hearing on the charges.

FairyD
(04-24-2012, 02:14 AM)
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What a cheesy situation.
Trancetronic
Member
(04-24-2012, 02:15 AM)
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get your own box
WhatRobEats
Member
(04-24-2012, 02:15 AM)
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She got her own box alright.

edit: you missed a great (GAF) opportunity there OP.
Costcosaurus
Banned
(04-24-2012, 02:16 AM)
My favorite snack is a weapon now? What has this world come to now?
SirChained
Banned
(04-24-2012, 02:16 AM)
So it's a crime to throw a can of cheez-whiz at somebody but perfectly okay to aim a gun on somebody's property.
NomarTyme
(04-24-2012, 02:16 AM)
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UGH. Pussy.
GK86
Homeland Security Fail
(04-24-2012, 02:16 AM)
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Only in Florida can they turn a cheez it snack, into a weapon.
UFRA
Member
(04-24-2012, 02:17 AM)
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lol these can be used as budget ninja stars now.
radioheadrule83
Banned
(04-24-2012, 02:18 AM)
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I like the way the PD spokeswoman says 'apparently' as though to highlight the improbable ridiculousness of it all...

and the story isn't clear, is he being turfed out of his own home for throwing a cracker?
Venfayth
Member
(04-24-2012, 02:18 AM)
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He didn't throw a cheez-it in to her eye. He threw a box at her, and a cheez-it calmly left the box and entered her eye of its own volition.
fna84
Member
(04-24-2012, 02:19 AM)
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Dangerously cheesy.
Shiggie
Member
(04-24-2012, 02:20 AM)
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Originally Posted by fna84

Dangerously cheesy.

good one.
XiaNaphryz
LATIN, MATRIPEDICABUS, DO YOU SPEAK IT
(04-24-2012, 02:20 AM)
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Originally Posted by Venfayth

He didn't throw a cheez-it in to her eye. He threw a box at her, and a cheez-it calmly left the box and entered her eye of its own volition.

That wouldn't fit in the title.
low-G
Member
(04-24-2012, 02:22 AM)
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Should be forced to eat 10 whole boxes of cheez its.
Costcosaurus
Banned
(04-24-2012, 02:23 AM)

Originally Posted by fna84

Dangerously cheesy.

Isn't that Cheetos?
franknbeans
Member
(04-24-2012, 02:25 AM)
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she is gonna sue cheez its for having squared edges. Cheez its is negligent in ensuring that its crackers couldn't be used as projectile weapons
StriKeVillain
Member
(04-24-2012, 02:25 AM)
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It ain't easy being cheezy.
Uchip
Banned
(04-24-2012, 02:26 AM)
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he should have cheesed it
ReBurn
Member
(04-24-2012, 02:28 AM)
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A box of cheese crackers was used as a projectile weapon, injuring a woman's eye.
CTE
Member
(04-24-2012, 02:33 AM)

Originally Posted by ReBurn

A box of cheese crackers was used as a projectile weapon, injuring a woman's eye.

He threw one cracker.
Venfayth
Member
(04-24-2012, 02:35 AM)
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Originally Posted by CTE

He threw one cracker.

!?

Originally Posted by OP

Police said a 37-year-old man upset because a woman attended an Earth Day concert, faces charges after throwing a box of snack crackers at her and injuring her eye.

Nizz
Member
(04-24-2012, 02:35 AM)
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Originally Posted by Trancetronic

get your own box

Nice
Mammoth Jones
Member
(04-24-2012, 02:36 AM)
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So much inconvenience just for losing your temper for .5 seconds.

Fuck that. Just walk away. It sucks. But I'd rather walk away from an encounter than have to deal with legal bullshit.
GoldenEye 007
Member
(04-24-2012, 02:43 AM)
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So he violated a restraining order? He had it coming, then.
tuna on toast
Banned
(04-24-2012, 02:56 AM)
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Eggo
GameFan Alumnus
(04-24-2012, 03:06 AM)
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Originally Posted by Venfayth

He didn't throw a cheez-it in to her eye. He threw a box at her, and a cheez-it calmly left the box and entered her eye of its own volition.

Was the Cheez-it wearing a hoodie?
Avixph
Member
(04-24-2012, 03:10 AM)
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As I have learned from ninja turtles (03) anything in the hands of a ninja can be a weapon.
geeko420
Member
(04-24-2012, 03:12 AM)
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Too bad they weren't Cheetos or I would have said "Dangerously Cheesy"
CTE
Member
(04-24-2012, 03:14 AM)

Originally Posted by Venfayth

!?

!?



Police said Gatz who later told officers that he only tossed a cracker at the woman and not a whole box fled the scene but later turned himself in to authorities.

Rentahamster
Rodent Whores
(04-24-2012, 03:17 AM)
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Sounds like a dirty euphemism.
travisbickle
Member
(04-24-2012, 03:21 AM)
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A WOMAN at an Earth Day concert!! No wonder he was upset!
Cheesemeister
Member
(04-24-2012, 03:26 AM)
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FantasticMrFoxdie
Member
(04-24-2012, 03:28 AM)
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Originally Posted by tuna on toast

lol


And why would someone be upset about someone going to an Earth Day concert?
XiaNaphryz
LATIN, MATRIPEDICABUS, DO YOU SPEAK IT
(04-24-2012, 04:20 AM)
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Originally Posted by FantasticMrFoxdie

lol


And why would someone be upset about someone going to an Earth Day concert?

Might've been mad that she showed up to the same concert that a mutual friend did? Or whatever guy she's into and he's upset over. I sense a love triangle.
grap3fruitman
Member
(04-24-2012, 04:23 AM)
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Florida: the state where hitting someone with a cracker is a crime but shooting them point-blank isn't. Logic!
JJDinomite
Member
(04-24-2012, 04:25 AM)
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Salty.
shinobi602
(04-24-2012, 04:26 AM)
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Originally Posted by Cheesemeister

Claude
Catalina's bitch
(04-24-2012, 04:27 AM)
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Delicious.
Xenon
Here's your chocolate,
can we **** now?
(04-24-2012, 04:42 AM)
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Good Job Bob
(04-24-2012, 04:43 AM)
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It's because he's black.
Phoenix
Member
(04-24-2012, 04:46 AM)
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Attacking someone at distance with a single cheese-it cracker and hitting them at all takes some decent skill, getting a head shot is difficult under even ideal scenarios, but to hit someone in the eye and cause damage? Dude has a rare skill that must be studied.

Its not easy being cheesy...
Last edited by Phoenix; 04-24-2012 at 05:00 AM.
invaderzim69
Member
(04-24-2012, 04:59 AM)
If I ever get someone that comes in to break in my house. That is what I'll use to injure him badly.
Particle Physicist
between a quark and a baryon
(04-24-2012, 05:06 AM)

Originally Posted by SirChained

So it's a crime to throw a can of cheez-whiz at somebody but perfectly okay to aim a gun on somebody's property.


Or to kill a kid carrying skittles and an iced tea.
Mushroom021
Member
(04-24-2012, 05:43 AM)
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Why is he carrying a box of Cheez-its with him anyways?
XiaNaphryz
LATIN, MATRIPEDICABUS, DO YOU SPEAK IT
(04-24-2012, 07:26 PM)
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Originally Posted by Mushroom021

Why is he carrying a box of Cheez-its with him anyways?

Self defense.
Jobiensis
Member
(04-24-2012, 07:28 PM)
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Looks like he should've thrown the whole box instead of eating them.
daveb234
Junior Member
(04-24-2012, 07:30 PM)
GAF puns alway get me. Lol.
Alaskanbullworm
Member
(04-24-2012, 07:33 PM)
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That's not gouda
Double D
Member
(04-24-2012, 07:59 PM)
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