[Shawsie64]

Posted?

A CALIFORNIAN treasure hunter claims he has found the body of Osama bin Laden. "I've located where they threw him away," he told Spanish newspaper El Mundo. "I'm the only one with this information. He's 200 miles (320km) to the west of the Indian city of Surat." Mr Warren - whose stock-in-trade is "salvaging history from shipwrecks" - announced he was on the case back in June last year. He claims recent photos released by the US Navy depicting the burial at sea gave him the final clue to the terrorist leader's final resting place. It hasn't moved, he says, because it's in a weighted bag. Of course, there's a hitch. Mr Warren says all he needs to bring bin Laden to the surface is $200,000... But he's not in it for the money, mind. Mr Warren says his goal is purely personal and needs to prove to himself that the man is dead. "We do this because we are patriotic Americans and feel that President Obama failed to provide the proof," he told TMZ. Mr Warren says he's located more than 200 wrecks. He admits there's a danger this latest search could be his last, because the US Government has a vested interest in sinking his boat. Or, er, assassinating him. Once he's cashed up, he says he will have bin Laden's corpse in his possession within anywhere between a week and three months. He told El Mundo he didn't plan to raise it to the surface - just photograph and videotape it before taking a chunk of DNA.

http://www.news.com.au/news/californ...-1226345463306

[ElectricBlue187]

what a load of horseshit

[shagg_187]

Looks like Tasmanian tiger to me.

Of course, there's a hitch. Mr Warren says all he needs to bring bin Laden to the surface is $200,000...

Kickstarter in 3... 2... 1...

[speculawyer]

Not buying it.

If he located it then he would already have videotape.

[Manos: The Hans of Fate]

But he's not in it for the money, mind. Mr Warren says his goal is purely personal and needs to prove to himself that the man is dead. "We do this because we are patriotic Americans and feel that President Obama failed to provide the proof," he told TMZ.

He left you idiots the body in the Ocean, what more can you ask for?

[shuri]

Kickstarting this, or kickstarting a trip to the Titanic.. Decisions, decisions!

[SteveWinwood]

Hey guys I know theres this crashed ufo in these mountains. You just gotta give me 200, 000 bucks first.

[ElectricBlue187]

He left you idiots the body in the Ocean, what more can you ask for?

I thought Obama wasn't responsible for killing Osama?
bubububu

[Boogalogist]

Sureeeeee...he probably has the coordinates to Amelia Earhart's location as well.

[Kinitari]

Yeah, there wouldn't be a body at this point. I'm not a marine biologist or any sort of biologist for that matter - but I think we can safely assume that after what... 10 months? That body would have been eaten.

[Manos: The Hans of Fate]

Yeah, there wouldn't be a body at this point. I'm not a marine biologist or any sort of biologist for that matter - but I think we can safely assume that after what... 10 months? That body would have been eaten.

I swear that they found remains still on the Titanic recently...let me check.

http://gawker.com/5902087/possible-h...anic-shipwreck
Clothing....but that's something.

[BertramCooper]

I always pictured two or three sharks fighting over bin Laden's bloated corpse.

That made me smile.

[RyanDG]

I swear that they found remains still on the Titanic recently...let me check. http://gawker.com/5902087/possible-h...anic-shipwreck Clothing....but that's something.

Depending on how he was buried and/or wrapped, bodies have been known to be pulled that are years old.

However, if I recall correctly, in the book Stiff by Mary Roach, she does mention that most bodies disintegrate in about 3 months on the ocean floor.

[Manos: The Hans of Fate]

Depending on how he was buried and/or wrapped, bodies have been known to be pulled that are years old. However, if I recall correctly, in the book Stiff by Mary Roach, she does mention that most bodies disintegrate in about 3 months on the ocean floor.

True, it's a bit of a crap shot, but I wouldn't say impossible...of course I don't believe this guy.

I always pictured two or three sharks fighting over bin Laden's bloated corpse. That made me smile.

The final expulsion from the sharks is also brings a smile to the face.

[Baconsammy]

I assumed that when James Cameron's little sub surfaced, Bin Laden would be on the hood.

[crimzonflame]

Shout outs to Surat.

[HeySeuss]

Seems legit. Where do I send the check?

[Freakinchair]

I don't understand these people. If Bin Laden was still alive then Al Quaida would have definitely released a video showing such - they wouldn't just let the American Gov. try to pull a fast one on them. He's dead asshole; Stop trying to scam money from people.

[mclaren777]

I wonder what certain government agencies think about this man's claim.

[Ken Masters]

He needs $200,000 to prove something he's already so sure about

[Clevinger]

I don't understand these people. If Bin Laden was still alive then Al Quaida would have definitely released a video showing such - they wouldn't just let the American Gov. try to pull a fast one on them. He's dead asshole; Stop trying to scam money from people.

They're just lulling America into a false sense of security.

lol

[Lionel Mandrake]

[EXT. open water; overcast; rainstorm]

A naval helicopter flies over the water.

[INT. helicopter]

PILOT: We're outside radio range! Make the drop.
SEAL 1: Here. Do it here.
SEAL 2: Bon voyage.

[EXT. open water; overcast; rainstorm]

A mass falls from the cargo opening of the chopper, human-sized.

cut to:
[WIDE: the object sinks into the depths. It's wrapped in a tarp, and the frayed edges beat back and forth in the waves]

[MONTAGE: we see tight shots of cars making fast turns, helicopters flying over desert, silhouetted figures entering a doorway]

Narration: He was the world's most feared and reviled figure.

[cut to: ...]


OBAMA: ... Been killed by navy in seals in...

Narrator: So why was his death shrouded in mystery?

[INT. museum; night]

Jon Voight sorrowfully pleads to someone offscreen.



VOIGHT: You have to let this go! This is bigger than us!

cut to:
[EXT. Museum; night]

Nicolas Cage hanging by a cable from the roof, repelling down the building.



CAGE: Now that wouldn't be very fun would it?

[MONTAGE: Action! Explosions! Diving! Hanging from the side of boats at high speeds! etc.]

[INT. Desert Palace; day]

MIDDLE EASTERN VILLAIN: Ah, Mr. Gates! We have much business to discuss.

cut to: later
The villain bashes his fist on the table

MIDDLE EASTERN VILLAIN: I WANT MY TREASURE!

Riley shakes his head nervously in a hilarious way.



RILEY: Boy, these bad guys sure do love their treasure.

[MONTAGE: More action]

[EXT. boat deck]

Cage, Riley, Diane Kruger look down over the camera.



KRUGER: So... Bin Laden's body is inside this tarp, right?

CAGE: It would appear so.

KRUGER: Does anyone else find this kind of terrifying?

RILEY: Well, he is a terrorist.

BOTH: RILEY!

RILEY: Sorry.

[MONTAGE: Fast-paced action quick shots]

[INT. cavern; day]

Cage looks into a crevice.



CAGE: Oh my God. It can't be.



OSAMA: Hello, Mr. Gates.



I'll take your money now, Disney.

[Jintor]

*applause*

I'll buy three copies

[Manos: The Hans of Fate]

I wonder what certain government agencies think about this man's claim.

They most likely think about it as much as need for updating War Plan Red.

[Black-Box]

no one would believe that, the military would be all over him to keep it silenced

[Lionel Mandrake]

*applause* I'll buy three copies

Please pass on all compliments to the Walt Disney Corporation.

[Fatalah]

I never post gifs, but this one always gets me going.

[Boogie9IGN]

that was amazing

oh damnit, sorry guys. didnt realize I've had this thread opened since Wednesday :|