NeoGAF

SalsaShark · (05-17-2012, 01:34 AM)

Quote:

To everyone who thought that Before Watchmen was as crass as Warner Bros would get in terms of strip-mining the legacy of Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons' Watchmen, bless you for your optimism and belief in the inherent goodness of humanity. However, you might want to look away before we tell everyone else about the official Watchmen toaster.

No, it's not a joke (well, not in that sense, anyway): There really is going to be an official Watchmen toaster that will not only heat bread and bagels to your desired level of tasty, crunchy brownness, but will do so while also imprinting said bread or bagels with iconic artwork from the classic comic - because you demanded it!

...

Jacob · (05-17-2012, 01:36 AM)

Originally Posted by SalsaShark:

because you demanded it!

"You Maniacs!"

Khezu · (05-17-2012, 01:36 AM)

Awesome.

Divvy · (05-17-2012, 01:37 AM)

This product was clearly made to spite him.

MisterHero · (05-17-2012, 01:37 AM)

What do these toaster burns on the bread mean to you, Walter

akira28 · (05-17-2012, 01:37 AM)

I honestly don't think Alan gives a shit anymore. It's like, how do you unfuck a corpse? Can you defile it any further, or is anything else just icing on the cake?

Emily Chu · (05-17-2012, 01:37 AM)

hmm there are worse things in life....

like Florida

SalsaShark · (05-17-2012, 01:38 AM)

Originally Posted by MisterHero:

What do these toaster burns on the bread mean to you, Walter

i bet a million moneys that rorschach tests are what this toasters will toast

toast

the_log_ride · (05-17-2012, 01:39 AM)

RRAAAARRL

Ratrat · (05-17-2012, 01:39 AM)

I...wants it.

Rafa=FedKilla · (05-17-2012, 01:39 AM)

"The times they are a changin'."

SteveWinwood · (05-17-2012, 01:40 AM)

This has to be just as a huge fuck you to him.

Hilarious.

SalsaShark · (05-17-2012, 01:41 AM)

I seriously want to send him one as a gift

or like 100 of them

Kusagari · (05-17-2012, 01:42 AM)

I want someone to ask him to sign one.

ElNarez · (05-17-2012, 01:42 AM)

This is Warner telling everyone "YOU DON'T FEEL SO BAD ABOUT BEFORE WATCHMEN NOW DO YOU? DO YOU??? DO YOU????". This is the point in corporate comics history where NOTHING MEANS ANYTHING ANYMORE. ANYTHING IS GODDAMN POSSIBLE, FUCK CREATORS' RIGHTS, THERE IS A WATCHMEN TOASTER. This is DC telling everyone "YOLO" in big fat glittery letters. We're on the other side now.

Ponn01 · (05-17-2012, 01:43 AM)

Before I form an option is their a Silk Spectre version?

SalsaShark · (05-17-2012, 01:43 AM)

Originally Posted by Kusagari:

I want someone to ask him to sign one.

I wanna see him eating a toast made in it

or just give him a toast and tell him what it was made with after he eats it

MisterHero · (05-17-2012, 01:43 AM)

Originally Posted by akira28:

I honestly don't think Alan gives a shit anymore. It's like, how do you unfuck a corpse? Can you defile it any further, or is anything else just icing on the cake?

You can turn the undead corpse evil and make it a psycho-murderer, like they did with the original Superman

SmithnCo · (05-17-2012, 01:43 AM)

Haha, lol wat?

So weird it might be worth owning for WTF value.

chris.trejo · (05-17-2012, 01:45 AM)

I don't get it, did he hate toasters or something?

iammeiam · (05-17-2012, 01:46 AM)

Looooooool:

Quote:

The toaster sports a Watchmen logo and a group shot of the main characters, and it will brown your toast to look like Rohrshach’s famous mask (albeit without the randomly shifting patterns).

So basically it just toasts unevenly.

ElNarez · (05-17-2012, 01:47 AM)

Originally Posted by chris.trejo:

I don't get it, did he hate toasters or something?

This is pretty much the moment when Watchmen became just another brand for Warner Bros to exploit.

akira28 · (05-17-2012, 01:47 AM)

Originally Posted by MisterHero:

You can turn the undead corpse evil and make it a psycho-murderer, like they did with the original Superman

Ohhh yeah. They had an entire major event based on that. I forgot. Yeah, DC are professionals at this whole corpse fucking thing.

WanderingWind · (05-17-2012, 01:47 AM)

There is literally no reason to do this if not to just piss of Moore. This is some meta-active hate, right here.

Love it.

Watch Da Birdie · (05-17-2012, 01:48 AM)

It should toast Dr. Manhattan's mark.

Man-is-Obsolete · (05-17-2012, 01:48 AM)

I'm still mad the movie didn't have the Giant Octupus thing that was so central to the entire story. Screw the toaster, I demand a remake!

SmithnCo · (05-17-2012, 01:50 AM)

Quote:

The new toaster collection will showcase iconic imagery featuring Warner Bros. properties ranging from classic movies to hit television series. The license includes such properties as The Wizard of Oz, A Christmas Story, Where the Wild Things Are, The Goonies, Gremlins, Little Shop of Horrors, Watchmen, Friday the 13th, A Nightmare on Elm Street, Mad Magazine, Friends, AND MORE! The first toaster is scheduled to be on sale September 2012.

I did not realize there was real money to be made from licensed novelty toasters. Or people who thought there was money to be made. A FRIENDS TOASTER.

KO Traveling Hobo · (05-17-2012, 01:50 AM)

Trolled hard.

Satch · (05-17-2012, 01:53 AM)

that's too bad

chris.trejo · (05-17-2012, 02:06 AM)

Originally Posted by ElNarez:

This is pretty much the moment when Watchmen became just another brand for Warner Bros to exploit.

Ah so it's more of a commercialize type thing,

BertramCooper · (05-17-2012, 02:07 AM)

I never want to see Alan Moore's nightmares.

Blader5489 · (05-17-2012, 02:08 AM)

Originally Posted by Divvy:

This product was clearly made to spite him.

This. Absolutely this. And it's fucking hilarious.

Ignis Fatuus · (05-17-2012, 02:09 AM)

Yeah, the only possible reason this could exist is because they really want to annoy Alan Moore.

Strike · (05-17-2012, 02:24 AM)

Lionel Mandrake · (05-17-2012, 02:25 AM)

Originally Posted by Divvy:

This product was clearly made to spite him.

Seriously. How else could someone come up with a fucking Watchmen toaster?!

Jesus, this the funniest the thing I've seen all week.

Alrus · (05-17-2012, 02:26 AM)

Originally Posted by Ignis Fatuus:

Yeah, the only possible reason this could exist is because they really want to annoy Alan Moore.

While I don't think they did it just for that, the novelty toaster market isn't really that big...

MisterHero · (05-17-2012, 02:26 AM)

Originally Posted by Lionel Mandrake:

Seriously. How else could someone come up with a fucking Watchmen toaster?!

Jesus, this the funniest the thing I've seen all week.

He knew it was going to happen, it was in the comic book

The Ozymandias Toaster, by Veidt Home Appliances

The Technomancer · (05-17-2012, 02:27 AM)

Originally Posted by Divvy:

This product was clearly made to spite him.

Yeah, I honestly can't figure out how this was greenlit for any other reason.

Slayven · (05-17-2012, 02:31 AM)

The Alan Moore version was dropped due to the cooked toast having lethal levels of sodium.

AlexMogil · (05-17-2012, 02:31 AM)

Bread and toast contain the same number of particles. Structurally, there's no discernible difference. Bread and toast are unquantifiable abstracts. Why should I be concerned?

Dan Dreiberg: But the country's disintegrating. What's happened to America? What's happened to the American dream?.
The Comedian: It came true. You're lookin' at it.

The Technomancer · (05-17-2012, 02:33 AM)

Originally Posted by AlexMogil:

Bread and toast contain the same number of particles. Structurally, there's no discernible difference. Bread and toast are unquantifiable abstracts. Why should I be concerned?

Nice

Darkmakaimura · (05-17-2012, 02:34 AM)

*Toaster breaks. Toast gets stuck inside*

GIVE ME BACK MY TOAST!!!!

Strike · (05-17-2012, 02:41 AM)

Originally Posted by Darkmakaimura:

*Toaster breaks. Toast gets stuck inside*

GIVE ME BACK MY TOAST!!!!

Toaster whispers, "No."

Ponn01 · (05-17-2012, 02:42 AM)

The Ozymandias version has your toast done 35 minutes before you realize you want some.

The Technomancer · (05-17-2012, 02:43 AM)

Originally Posted by Ponn01:

The Ozymandias version has your toast done 35 minutes before you realize you want some.

That's utterly useless, by the time I want it it will be cold and impossible to butter properly.

ElNarez · (05-17-2012, 03:22 AM)

Originally Posted by The_Technomancer:

That's utterly useless, by the time I want it it will be cold and impossible to butter properly.

No compromises. Not even in the face of cold toast.

Imm0rt4l · (05-17-2012, 03:23 AM)

Originally Posted by Divvy:

This product was clearly made to spite him.

It's the only explanation.

disappeared · (05-17-2012, 03:24 AM)

Will it toast Rorschach's face into my bread?

Dommo · (05-17-2012, 03:30 AM)

Thread is already a gold mine.

Originally Posted by disappeared:

Will it toast Rorschach's face into my bread?

Actually, yes that's the idea.

Tobor · (05-17-2012, 03:31 AM)

Originally Posted by SmithnCo:

I did not realize there was real money to be made from licensed novelty toasters. Or people who thought there was money to be made. A FRIENDS TOASTER.

I kinda want the Goonies toaster.

"Down here it's our time for toast. It's our time for toast down here. That's all over the second we ride up Troy's bucket."