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Mileena
Banned
(05-29-2012, 12:43 AM)
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This only started happening about a year ago or so. No matter how long I shit, be it a quickie 3-5 minute shit or a luxurious 10-15 minute shit, my feet always fall asleep. This is quite the annoyance when I get up to wipe because it's hard to stand on my feet when they're asleep making wiping a pain in the ass.

Does this happen to others or am I just weird?
agrajag
if I suck dick, are my arguments less valid?
(05-29-2012, 12:44 AM)
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it's usually my thighs that fall asleep, due to the pressure from the seat
Steelrain
Member
(05-29-2012, 12:44 AM)
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Did you gain some weight? Do you smoke?
Slightly Live
Dirty tag dodger
(05-29-2012, 12:45 AM)
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Don't lean forward or rest your arms on your legs.

Also, stop spending an hour shitting.
James Woods
Banned
(05-29-2012, 12:45 AM)
Are you overweight?
HeySeuss
Member
(05-29-2012, 12:45 AM)
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You stand up to wipe? This thread is now about your poor choice in hygene rather than your poor circulation.
Mileena
Banned
(05-29-2012, 12:47 AM)
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Originally Posted by Shick Brithouse

You stand up to wipe? This thread is now about your poor choice in hygene rather than your poor circulation.

How the hell do you wipe your ass while sitting down?


But no I'm not fat
BlazingDarkness
Member
(05-29-2012, 12:47 AM)
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This thread will now be about the old standing/sitting to wipe debate
donkey show
Little Big Dev
(05-29-2012, 12:47 AM)
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It only happens if I'm playing some portable console or with my iPad.

Originally Posted by Mileena

How the hell do you wipe your ass while sitting down?

Last edited by donkey show; 05-29-2012 at 12:51 AM.
Bombadil
Banned
(05-29-2012, 12:47 AM)
Your leg muscles have atrophied from years of inactivity. Go outside and run to improve circulation.

Edit: Listen to that "I just met you / and this is crazy / but here's my number / call me maybe" song while you run, for inspiration.
Previous
check out my new Swatch
(05-29-2012, 12:47 AM)
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Originally Posted by Mileena

This is quite the annoyance when I get up to wipe because it's hard to stand on my feet when they're asleep making wiping a pain in the ass.

why
Nemo
Will Eat Your Children
(05-29-2012, 12:47 AM)
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Originally Posted by Slightly Live

Don't lean forward or rest your arms on your legs.

Also, stop spending an hour shitting.

I'm glad I stopped playing tetris DS. This became a real problem at some point
shira
Member
(05-29-2012, 12:48 AM)
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Melena? Now we have medical gaf joke posters
Sentry
Still Alive
(05-29-2012, 12:48 AM)
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Is this how you take a shit?

RBH
Member
(05-29-2012, 12:48 AM)
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Because Stone Cold said so.
Lactose_Intolerant
Member
(05-29-2012, 12:48 AM)
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He's too fat to get his hand back there to wipe so has to stand up.
Xeke
Banned
(05-29-2012, 12:49 AM)
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Originally Posted by Mileena

How the hell do you wipe your ass while sitting down?


But no I'm not fat

It's really easy....
Kwixotik
Member
(05-29-2012, 12:49 AM)
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I get up to wipe too. I recognize the inferiority of doing so, but... well, I have no defense.
Bay Maximus
Member
(05-29-2012, 12:49 AM)
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I hate the shits that plop down and splash you in the crack. Though I admit I feel like I've gotten more after wiping after one of those shits.

Another problematic shit is the one that's so long that it's in the toilet pipe and still in your ass. Feels like I'm giving birth or some shit.
HiResDes
Member
(05-29-2012, 12:50 AM)
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Kitana >
Steelrain
Member
(05-29-2012, 12:50 AM)
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Originally Posted by Sentry

Is this how you take a shit?

I used to work with some Nepali dudes and they did that shit.

We had to make a sign because they didn't realize shit isn't supposed to be everywhere. Smh.
Spiffy_1st
Member
(05-29-2012, 12:51 AM)
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Can someone please explain how you can sit down and wipe without putting your arm all around your penis? I thought it might be some kind of internet joke where everyone does actually stand but you say you don't because funny, like GAFGold, but now I think the secret is true.
James Woods
Banned
(05-29-2012, 12:51 AM)

Originally Posted by Lactose_Intolerant

He's too fat to get his hand back there to wipe so has to stand up.

Yeah I've been there. Gross.
Xeke
Banned
(05-29-2012, 12:52 AM)
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Originally Posted by Steelrain

I used to work with some Nepali dudes and they did that shit.

We had to make a sign because they didn't realize shit isn't supposed to be everywhere. Smh.

It's actually the most natural way to shit.

Can someone please explain how you can sit down and wipe without putting your arm all around your penis? I thought it might be some kind of internet joke where everyone does actually stand but you say you don't because funny, like GAFGold, but now I think the secret is true.

You slightly lift up one side of your ass, go in from behind and wipe away from your balls. It's easy. Try it.
synt4x
Member
(05-29-2012, 12:52 AM)
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Originally Posted by Bay Maximus

I hate the shits that plop down and splash you in the crack. Though I admit I feel like I've gotten more after wiping after one of those shits

I put a piece of paper in the bowl. Problem solved.

Edit:

Originally Posted by Spiffy_1st

Can someone please explain how you can sit down and wipe without putting your arm all around your penis? I thought it might be some kind of internet joke where everyone does actually stand but you say you don't because funny, like GAFGold, but now I think the secret is true.

Uhm, you lean onto your left asscheek and lift your right asscheek up a bit so you can access your asshole from the side. Opposite if you wipe with your left hand. Editē: I think I explained it a bit weird...
Last edited by synt4x; 05-29-2012 at 12:57 AM.
Steelrain
Member
(05-29-2012, 12:53 AM)
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Originally Posted by Xeke

It's actually the most natural way to shit.

It's not the natural way to shit on a western toilet.
BlazingDarkness
Member
(05-29-2012, 12:55 AM)
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Originally Posted by Spiffy_1st

Can someone please explain how you can sit down and wipe without putting your arm all around your penis? I thought it might be some kind of internet joke where everyone does actually stand but you say you don't because funny, like GAFGold, but now I think the secret is true.

Wipe from the back bro, no reason to stick your arm through your crotch area.
Mileena
Banned
(05-29-2012, 12:56 AM)
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Originally Posted by synt4x

Uhm, you lean onto your left asscheek and lift your right asscheek up a bit so you can access your asshole from the side. Opposite if you wipe with your left hand.

How is this superior? My mind is so Jackie Chan right now
WoodenLung
Indifferent Lover
(05-29-2012, 12:56 AM)
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Originally Posted by Sentry

Is this how you take a shit?

I did that as a kid.
Bombadil
Banned
(05-29-2012, 12:57 AM)

Originally Posted by Xeke

It's actually the most natural way to shit.



You slightly lift up one side of your ass, go in from behind and wipe away from your balls. It's easy. Try it.

Originally Posted by synt4x

I put a piece of paper in the bowl. Problem solved.

Edit:


Uhm, you lean onto your left asscheek and lift your right asscheek up a bit so you can access your asshole from the side. Opposite if you wipe with your left hand.

What about skinny people who don't have plump ass cheeks to cushion their pelvic bones from the plastic toilet seat, and would rather stand up and crouch slightly while they wipe rather than perform gymnastic feats with their buttocks?
outunderthestars
He's not our sharpest knife.
(05-29-2012, 12:57 AM)
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it takes you five minutes to take a quick shit? Eat more vegetables!
Dishwalla
Member
(05-29-2012, 12:57 AM)
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Why does it take an internet forum to teach someone how to wipe their ass? ffs.
rezuth
Member
(05-29-2012, 12:57 AM)
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Originally Posted by Mileena

How is this superior? My mind is so Jackie Chan right now

You are spreading your cheeks so you can access more of the zone? Also its more convenient and you dont get shit all around.
Xeke
Banned
(05-29-2012, 12:58 AM)
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Originally Posted by outunderthestars

it takes you five minutes to take a quick shit? Eat more vegetables!

I voluntarily spend at least 15 minutes on the toilet. Why a toilet is so comfortable is a mystery of our world.
TheKaeptain
nuh fi eating seeen
(05-29-2012, 12:59 AM)
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Originally Posted by Dishwalla

Why does it take an internet forum to teach someone how to wipe their ass? ffs.

Because parents suck.
Ignis Fatuus
Banned
(05-29-2012, 01:00 AM)
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Wait, people wipe sitting down? They sneak their hand past the crotch and into the bowl? Ewwww.
outunderthestars
He's not our sharpest knife.
(05-29-2012, 01:00 AM)
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Originally Posted by Dishwalla

Why does it take an internet forum to teach someone how to wipe their ass? ffs.

Because none of us want to go over there and show them in person?

Originally Posted by Xeke

I voluntarily spend at least 15 minutes on the toilet. Why a toilet is so comfortable is a mystery of our world.


You need more comfortable furniture. I have a knock off of the Eames lounge chair that I could spend eternity in....

Cudder
Member
(05-29-2012, 01:00 AM)
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i stand and wipe. fuck all y'all.
DMPrince
Member
(05-29-2012, 01:01 AM)

Originally Posted by BlazingDarkness

Wipe from the back bro, no reason to stick your arm through your crotch area.

i like the feel of my cock sliding acrossing my arm. is that a crime? D:
HeySeuss
Member
(05-29-2012, 01:01 AM)
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Originally Posted by Xeke

I voluntarily spend at least 15 minutes on the toilet. Why a toilet is so comfortable is a mystery of our world.

My man. My mom has a soft cushioned seat. I once fell asleep on the shitter. Feelsgoodman.jpg
maxxpower
Member
(05-29-2012, 01:01 AM)
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I can't seem to take one of those clean shits where you shit out your shit in one clean piece so you don't even have to wipe your ass.
rezuth
Member
(05-29-2012, 01:01 AM)
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Originally Posted by Ignis Fatuus

Wait, people wipe sitting down? They sneak their hand past the crotch and into the bowl? Ewwww.

Why would people think this?
BertramCooper
Member
(05-29-2012, 01:01 AM)
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Sounds like cancer.
WoodenLung
Indifferent Lover
(05-29-2012, 01:02 AM)
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Originally Posted by Ignis Fatuus

Wait, people wipe sitting down? They sneak their hand past the crotch and into the bowl? Ewwww.

That's not how you wipe sitting down. Personally I always start sitting down. Then stand up and take the last wipe, it's just tradition at this point more than anything. Anyone in here wipes when they go to pee? Like a safety wipe even though you only peed? It pays off at times.
johnsmith
remember me
(05-29-2012, 01:02 AM)
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The only time my feet fall asleep is when I spend like half an hour on the toilet reading something. Never happens during an average crap.
Spiffy_1st
Member
(05-29-2012, 01:02 AM)
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Originally Posted by Xeke

You slightly lift up one side of your ass, go in from behind and wipe away from your balls. It's easy. Try it.

Ok, that makes sense, but that sounds like it would be too easy to fall off the toilet, which could lead to a bad situation.

I googled to find safe instructions on how to do this but only found this.



No one ever told me how to poop, so I've been doing it all wrong. I'm meant to dry my underwear? Wash my hands!?
Ignis Fatuus
Banned
(05-29-2012, 01:03 AM)
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Originally Posted by WoodenLung

Anyone in here wipes when they go to pee? Like a safety wipe even though you only peed? It pays off at times.

wat
Gabyskra
Banned
(05-29-2012, 01:03 AM)
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OT is becoming pretty shitty.
LuchaShaq
Banned
(05-29-2012, 01:03 AM)

Originally Posted by Xeke

It's actually the most natural way to shit.


Not when the people doing this seem to forget the shit goes in the hole not all over the toilet/floor/wall.
shadyspace
Member
(05-29-2012, 01:04 AM)
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We live in a world where people can't even manage to wipe their fucking assholes correctly. What in the fuck.

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