[entrement]

We keep getting all these, “rules from the woman’s side”, emails so we figured it was time for a “rules from the man’s side” email. These are our rules! Learn them, memorize them and use them! Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us whining about you leaving it down. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it. Saturday = Sports Crying is blackmail. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! We don’t remember dates. Mark them on a calendar and remind us frequently. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. Check your oil! Please. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact all comments become null and void after 7 days. If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us. We refuse to answer that question anymore. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. Let us look. It doesn’t hurt anyone, to look. And for us, its genetic. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we. ALL men see in only 16 colours. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. We have no idea what mauve is. We are not mind readers and we never will be. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” we will believe you. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. You have enough clothes. You have too many shoes. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take any quiz together. No, it doesn’t matter which quiz. BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know we really don’t mind that, it’s like camping.

I saw this going around Facebook. Meh @ the war with the sexes stuff that goes around the net these days.

[Aquavelvaman]

Hold on let me find something dumb from facebook to recirculate too

[RevDM]

This is what is to be a man, if you're 13 years old.

[gdt]

hur hur

[Invisible_Insane]

I saw this going around Facebook. Meh @ the war with the sexes stuff that goes around the net these days.

And so you decided the best course of action was to propagate it?

[Dilly]

But F1 racedays are on a sunday.

[Squall5042]

These things are absolute drivel.

Thanks for sharing with GAF.

[Dave Inc.]

Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

This is the only one I'll take at face value. I always do this, I'll listen and provide some sympathy at first but will always propose solutions. This is never what women want to hear.

Edit: It is also a complaint I have heard time and time again from women concerning men. Even my mother told me not to do this when a woman was explaining a problem to me.

[Arjen]

Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we

Oh really.

[CrazyDogg77]

Why did you post a thread about it if you thought it was so stupid?

[Subliminal]

If you think I’m cute, like this status. If you love me put a ♥, If I’m a good friend then put a :) , If I’m your best friend put a :D , If you have a crush on me put a xD , If you don’t like me put a :( , If you hate me put a X( If you are brave enough post this as your status and see what people think about you.

[LosDaddie]

Is it OK to find the list funny?

[Blue Ninja]

This is the only one I'll take at face value. I always do this, I'll listen and provide some sympathy at first but will always propose solutions. This is never what women want to hear. Edit: It is also a complaint I have heard time and time again from women concerning men. Even my mother told me not to do this when a woman was explaining a problem to me.

It's true, but goddamn if it isn't hard sometimes. :lol

[Live Free or Die]

I saw this going around Facebook. Meh @ the war with the sexes stuff that goes around the net these days.

why so serious?

[entrement]

And so you decided the best course of action was to propagate it?

To laugh at?

[ClassyPenguin]

But F1 racedays are on a sunday.

.

[Damon Bennet]

surprised there is no "LIKE AND SHARE PLS IF YOU AGREE" at the end

[i_am_not_jon_ames]

The worst was

[Divvy]

What's the deal with women and shoes?

[ElectricBlanketFire]

Saturday = Sports

Incorrect.

Saturdays = Youth

[Sealda]

Ask for what you want. Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it. We don’t remember dates. Mark them on a calendar and remind us frequently. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact all comments become null and void after 7 days. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

These, i think are very very true.

[Invisible_Insane]

To laugh at?

But you're just spreading the stupid. If you think the "war of the sexes (and goddamn if that isn't one of the most trite, hackneyed phrases in all of the English language)" making the rounds on the net is a problem, then the solution is to ignore that stuff, not to repost it in highly visible places. Now the meme is winning.

[wormstrangler]

You know this is probably 50 years old?

[zoukka]

Seems like your normal "excuses for lazy dumb folk who want to stay that way" kind of a list doesn't it.

[macuser1of5]

But shoes are cool.

[Anton Sugar]

Another day, another sexist social media trend!

[Steelrain]

Hey guys I got this silly chain letter in my email today.

It was so silly.

[Blair]

As much as this list is complete poo, i have to agree somewhat with the talk during commercials one. Maybe its just my bad luck with the women i watch tv/movies with, but pleeeease shut up and pay attention. That way you dont have to ask whats going on. Not really a gender specific problem though.

[Dude Abides]

Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.

[Zero Hero]

Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

"It's not what you said. It's how you said it."

[Dark Stalkers]

I swear this list is several years old.

[DeaconKnowledge]

Football is on Sunday.

Also, i've read this a million times since like 2001.

[Black_Stride]

But F1 racedays are on a sunday.

More like the whole weekend.

Practice Friday, Qualifying Saturday, Race Sunday.
And yes i have to watch them all.....if im not at my TV during one of these then im on NeoGIF in the F1 thread getting updates from Legend.

Girlfriend never understand why id want to watch the cars drive around not actually racing each other....just trying to see who is fastest to see who starts first....how pointless(they dont know anything).

If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” we will believe you.

Haha, i used this on my X all the time, id ask as a good boyfriend whats wrong(she is clearly somewhat annoyed) she answers "nothing" and i give out a huge sigh and say "thank goodness, for a second there i thought something was wrong", then i usually rabble on about some not so relevant topic ....she didnt like it so much, it always took her from just somewhat annoyed to pissed....but then atleast she actually let out what was bothering her....why dont they just tell us, do they think we cant handle it....or is it some sort of foreplay.....like they cant give out the secret without us first getting through the labyrinth.

[siddx]

eh, some of them are spot on

[DarkKyo]

Whoever wrote that sounds like a dumb as shit caveman. Enjoy dating that fella, ladies. Only 16 colors? Sorry, I see way more than 16 colors you fruit fly.

[Eggman]

ctrl + f "bacon"

[Tideas]

Another day, another sexist social media trend!

how is the list sexist? well, besides the oil comment.

[The Anti-Monitor]

how is the list sexist? well, besides the oil comment.

Assuming guys have the emotional maturity of a rock is pretty sexist.

[Goldrusher]

It's pretty accurate though.

[genjiZERO]

First, The whole color thing is stupid. To the human eye there are only 6 colors: red, blue, green, cyan, magenta, and yellow. Everything else is just a variation or combination of one of those colors. So "lemon" and "morning sunshine" really are both just a type of yellow (and probably have a specific pantone number). However, the idea that men can't discern between the plethora of shades and saturations that exist is idiotic.

I don't mind some gender war stuff. But I can't stand when men are stereotyped as idiots or simpletons.

[WinoMcCougarstein]

I instantly hide people on Facebook that post garbage like this. Men or women.

[DeaconKnowledge]

We don’t remember dates. Mark them on a calendar and remind us frequently.

This one is so true for me.

[macuser1of5]

how is the list sexist? well, besides the oil comment.

It makes dudes sound like dumb tv obsessed dullards.

And sleeping on the couch is for kids.

[Dave Inc.]

Haha, i used this on my X all the time, id ask as a good boyfriend whats wrong(she is clearly somewhat annoyed) she answers "nothing" and i give out a huge sigh and say "thank goodness, for a second there i thought something was wrong", then i usually rabble on about some not so relevant topic ....she didnt like it so much, it always took her from just somewhat annoyed to pissed....but then atleast she actually let out what was bothering her....why dont they just tell us, do they think we cant handle it....or is it some sort of foreplay.....like they cant give out the secret without us first getting through the labyrinth.

My guess is that they're nervous about bringing up something that has the potential for causing strife. I know there have been times I've been unresponsive for a bit because I'm putting together the words to express myself clearly without coming across as needlessly critical. Though, if asked why I was distant, I would generally explain I was thinking about something and I'd let her know.

Any time the "nothing" bit is pulled on me it puts my hackles up. I will, politely as I can, call bullshit and tell her she can either say what's bothering her or drop it.

[ivysaur12]

This is what is to be a man, if you're 13 years old.

Pretty much.

[Baconsaurus Rex]

ctrl + f "bacon"

I got a few hits.

[shinobi602]

Ask for what you want. Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! We are not mind readers and we never will be. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” we will believe you.

Yes.

[Dosia]

Good list.

[Anton Sugar]

how is the list sexist? well, besides the oil comment.

It assumes that women are clingy, self-absorbed, over-emotional partners. It assumes that men are consumed by sports on the weekend. It assumes that women suck at communication and men are simple-minded decision makers. It assumes that men lack sympathy. It assumes that women don't know how to check their oil, and that all men do. Hell, it assumes that men suck (and SHOULD suck) at identifying COLOR.

I could go on and on. The best is "let us look--it's genetic/we can't help it". So fucking stupid.

[radioheadrule83]

Yeah I hate shit like this.

I'd endorse the sentiment of a minority of this though:

Learn to work the toilet seat. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us whining about you leaving it down. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. We are not mind readers and we never will be. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” we will believe you.

This one applies to both men and women. Especially if there isn't a pause function available.

Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.