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Like the hat?
Member
(06-23-2012, 05:27 AM)
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Oh thanks for gluing this quarter to our floor, wife! How hilarious! Let's fuck while we think about how we are going to afford to pay to have our floor refinished and still make our mortgage payment.
NotTheGuyYouKill
(06-23-2012, 05:27 AM)
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I'd be so disappointed in my wife if she did any of these pranks... I'd want the love of my life to be far more imaginative when it comes to pranking me.
sk3
Member
(06-23-2012, 05:28 AM)
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I don't even...

It's like it was written by someone that thinks they are much smarter than they really are. Teehee dumb husband.

"Glass hammer"? Really? What kind of fucking idiot would think that exists?
Salazar
Member
(06-23-2012, 05:29 AM)
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Originally Posted by Azar

This shit is hilarious. If there was a competition for Extreme Milquetoasting Amber Milt would be the fucking champ.

Horrifying, what lurks beneath.
S.Dedalus
Member
(06-23-2012, 05:29 AM)
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Originally Posted by dygiT

Does this work with other garbage like banana peels and Cheetos bags?

The thing you must do with Cheetos bags is as follows:

1. Eat the Cheetos somewhere your wife can't see.
2. Fill the empty bag with your ejaculate. Like, really full.
3. Reseal the bag. Tape, staple, something.
4. Wait until your wife is hungry for a late nite snack.
5. Offer her the semenCheetos bag.
6. Watch and laugh as she shoves a fistfull of your cum into her mouth.
7. ????
8. SEX.
GK86
Homeland Security Fail
(06-23-2012, 05:29 AM)
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Somewhere, in middle America, there is a Christian family that finds this funny/awesome.
CrazyDogg77
Member
(06-23-2012, 05:29 AM)
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This might be the most awkward thing I've ever read.
Vermillion
Member Formerly Known as JokerOfSpades
(06-23-2012, 05:30 AM)
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Originally Posted by parrotbeak

I think that summarizes everything.

lmao, perfect.
Seguin
Banned
(06-23-2012, 05:30 AM)

Originally Posted by NotTheGuyYouKill

I'd be so disappointed in my wife if she did any of these pranks... I'd want the love of my life to be far more imaginative when it comes to pranking me.

How about throwing firecrackers into the shower?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7TPqHafgfeU
Dog Problems
Member
(06-23-2012, 05:32 AM)
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The old sticker-on-the-back routine of the "Kick Me" variety is not very clever, and it’s certainly not nice — but it is pretty funny. Try “Hug Me” instead, and wait for him to come home and tell you about his bizarre office encounters.

None of these "pranks" are clever.

I hope the person who wrote this is middle-aged or a senior citizen. I don't see how anyone in their 20's or 30's could find any of this funny.
Battersea Power Station
Member
(06-23-2012, 05:32 AM)
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The comments are amazing. I'm dying here.
nyong
Banned
(06-23-2012, 05:32 AM)
Top 10 pranks for guys:

1) When she goes to weigh herself, put your toe on the scale and gently add 10 pounds. Give her a raised eyebrow when she looks around bewildered. Just when the tears start flowing, don't forget to give her a big kiss and let her know it was just a prank!

2) When she comes home at night to a dark house, hide around the corner next to the light switch. When she reaches to turn it on, grab her hand!

3) Replace the money in her purse with monopoly dollars. Make sure there is money on the debit card so she isn't stranded!

4) Move the seat in her car to an awkward and uncomfortable position. Also set the mirrors in different directions. Be sure to be there when she discovers the problem so you both can laugh and laugh!

5) Record her tinkling in the bathroom and change her voicemail greeting!

6) Change her alarm clock to go off 3 hours early! Change the other clocks in the house too! When she arrives at work 3 hours early, surprise her by taking her out to breakfast!

7) Peel off her deodorant label and switch it with Old Spice!

8) Set off the smoke alarm while she's in the shower! Nothing like being naked and having the adrenaline pumping to spice up the sex life.

9) Switch out her shampoo with Nair. When her hair falls out (because she "fell" for it, LOL) you can both laugh and she'll know what you love her because you find her attractive even when she's bald!

10) .....
A Pretty Panda
fuckin' called it, man
(06-23-2012, 05:35 AM)
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Originally Posted by nyong

2) When she comes home at night to a dark house, hide around the corner next to the light switch. When she reaches to turn it on, grab her hand!

Yeah! I'm gonna try this one on strangers.
Like the hat?
Member
(06-23-2012, 05:37 AM)
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Originally Posted by nyong

5) Record her tinkling in the bathroom and change her voicemail greeting!

Lost it here
CrazyDogg77
Member
(06-23-2012, 05:40 AM)
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My hat goes off to you nyong. I laughed heartily.
Battersea Power Station
Member
(06-23-2012, 05:40 AM)
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11. When you're out shopping and notice a pretty young girl walk by, tease your wife "Bet you wish you still had legs like that, honey." To show her it's all in good fun, buy her an ice cream and have a laugh before wheeling her up the next chair ramp.
Karsticles
Member
(06-23-2012, 05:41 AM)
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Originally Posted by Soka

I can't really explain this, but for some reason, reading that list actually pissed me off. It made me uncomfortable and eventually literally angry.

This is so strange.

I was surprised by how mediocre all the ideas are.
Vermillion
Member Formerly Known as JokerOfSpades
(06-23-2012, 05:41 AM)
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Originally Posted by Battersea Power Station

11. When you're out shopping and notice a pretty young girl walk by, tease your wife "Bet you wish you still had legs like that, honey." To show her it's all in good fun, buy her an ice cream and have a laugh before wheeling her up the next chair ramp.

Oh God, I'm dying
lazybones18
Member
(06-23-2012, 05:43 AM)
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I'm not saying the pranks listed are stupid, but the pranks listed are fucking stupid
NotTheGuyYouKill
(06-23-2012, 05:43 AM)
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Originally Posted by Seguin

How about throwing firecrackers into the shower?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7TPqHafgfeU

That shit is fucked up. He could have easily slipped and broke his neck or some shit. Crazy bitch
lunchtoast
Member
(06-23-2012, 05:44 AM)
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This one is for the hubbys :D

Put itching powder on the toilet paper.

Then relieve the itching with your dick.

This initiates anal and dick pleasures.
ChuyMasta
Member
(06-23-2012, 05:50 AM)
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I'd ask her to just skip to the kiss and the wild time under the sheets. No need for pranks.
PantherLotus
Professional Schmuck
(06-23-2012, 05:54 AM)
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Originally Posted by Lionel Mandrake

Divorce.

Instant.
Instant fucking divorce.
Agent Cooper
Member
(06-23-2012, 05:59 AM)

Originally Posted by Battersea Power Station

11. When you're out shopping and notice a pretty young girl walk by, tease your wife "Bet you wish you still had legs like that, honey." To show her it's all in good fun, buy her an ice cream and have a laugh before wheeling her up the next chair ramp.

omg
Ominym
Member
(06-23-2012, 06:02 AM)
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This is literally horrible.
MetalGuardian
Member
(06-23-2012, 06:03 AM)
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There are some pretty great ideas here, wow!

There was this one time when I was with my "special lady" (^_^), and we were on our way to get some fresh pizza... yum! As a little surprise, I cut the break wires in my car before we left because she gets so adorable when she is screaming in terror, hah!

Of course we were on main street on the way to the pizza shoppe, and I was going 40 instead of 45 (because I was in on my own little secret, and while I love her, I didn't want to make it too dangerous!). We were laughing while I was tickling her under the blouse, having the merriest of times.

Well then it was time for the prank! I swerved into the oncoming lane of traffic, and she shrieked in horror as I tried to slam on the breaks to no avail! I just knew there was gonna be some lovin' for me that night based on how tight she was gripping my arm as a truck rammed into the passenger door, paralyzing her from the neck down!

After several weeks in the hospital, on our first full night back home, I decided to order pizza from the shoppe we were driving to the night she was paralyzed! It brought back good memories of a funny prank, and we laughed and ate our yum-yums before I gently contorted my body into a geometrical position ripe for paralytic coitus.

This prank worked so well, I've already recommended it to several friends :) It's good to show you care in special ways!
"God's Beard!"
(06-23-2012, 06:03 AM)
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Originally Posted by nyong

Top 10 pranks for guys:

2) When she comes home at night to a dark house, hide around the corner next to the light switch. When she reaches to turn it on, grab her hand!

I've done this.
nckillthegrimace
Member
(06-23-2012, 06:04 AM)
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Originally Posted by MetalGuardian

There are some pretty great ideas here, wow!

There was this one time when I was with my "special lady" (^_^), and we were on our way to get some fresh pizza... yum! As a little surprise, I cut the break wires in my car before we left because she gets so adorable when she is screaming in terror, hah!

Of course we were on main street on the way to the pizza shoppe, and I was going 40 instead of 45 (because I was in on my own little secret, and while I love her, I didn't want to make it too dangerous!). We were laughing while I was tickling her under the blouse, having the merriest of times.

Well then it was time for the prank! I swerved into the oncoming lane of traffic, and she shrieked in horror as I tried to slam on the breaks to no avail! I just knew there was gonna be some lovin' for me that night based on how tight she was gripping my arm as a truck rammed into the passenger door, paralyzing her from the neck down!

After several weeks in the hospital, on our first full night back home, I decided to order pizza from the shoppe we were driving to the night she was paralyzed! It brought back good memories of a funny prank, and we laughed and ate our yum-yums before I gently contorted my body into a geometrical position ripe for paralytic coitus.

This prank worked so well, I've already recommended it to several friends :) It's good to show you care in special ways!

Here's a fun followup prank. Make sure to write "DNR" on her bracelet, and wait for her to tell you about her vain struggle to cling to life.
Unicorn
Member
(06-23-2012, 06:08 AM)
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Originally Posted by nckillthegrimace

Here's a fun followup prank. Make sure to write "DNR" on her bracelet, and wait for her to tell you about her vain struggle to cling to life.

dude.
Soka
Member
(06-23-2012, 06:08 AM)
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Originally Posted by Seguin

How about throwing firecrackers into the shower?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7TPqHafgfeU

I am so skeptical of the internet that I'm almost certain this is staged, but if it were real, I am 95% sure I'd break up with the girl. That is so, so stupid.
Buddha Beam
Junior Member
(06-23-2012, 06:10 AM)
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Oh that Mitt Romney! He's such a prankster!

Honestly, I can't help but feel like this is stealth pro-Romney propaganda, given all the talk about his affinity for "pranks" and how it humanizes him.


Originally Posted by jiji

Well, their readership probably takes breaks from reading and forwarding chain emails to visit foxnews.com.

I know someone who this exactly describes.
MuggerMD
Member
(06-23-2012, 06:10 AM)
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Originally Posted by LeadProtagonist

"This isn't Gatorade, you fucking bitch!"

This is terribly lame.

Lol. Just what I was thinking
nckillthegrimace
Member
(06-23-2012, 06:14 AM)
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Originally Posted by Unicorn

dude.

Alternatively, you could drop a pillow on her head.
Nameless
(06-23-2012, 06:15 AM)
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Tinkling?
the_log_ride
Member
(06-23-2012, 06:19 AM)
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All these pranks are terrible, #2 especially.
white dynamite
Member
(06-23-2012, 06:21 AM)
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I think I'd be upset if my wife pulled any of these "pranks" on me. Not because they're mean, but because they're so terrible and unfunny that it'd make me question if it's worth staying in a relationship with a person who has absolutely no sense of humor.
Tain
Member
(06-23-2012, 06:22 AM)
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3. If you're feeling silly, stuff tissues or newspaper into his shoes so that he can’t get his feet in. Write “SURPRISE!” on each one — he’ll see the message as he pulls them out.

what the hell

seriously what the hell is this
GloveSlap
Member
(06-23-2012, 06:26 AM)
1. Get your son to call up and pretend to be "coming out"
2. On election day, come home with a "I voted for Obama" sticker
3. Replace the inside of his Bible with the inside of 'On the Origin of Species'
Aesius
Member
(06-23-2012, 06:39 AM)
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I could feel the life draining out of me as I read this.

#9 and #10 are just unbelievably stupid. What kind of sheltered, fucked up worldview causes a person to think any of those are even remotely funny or amusing?
LyleLanley
Member
(06-23-2012, 06:47 AM)
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2. This is one of our favorites and it can translate into a number of situations. Ask your guy to go to the supermarket and give him a list of made up things like dehydrated water, sweet salt or a blunt knife. If he’s into fixing things, send him to the hardware store for a glass hammer or cement humidifier. For the sports guy, tell him to grab a box of curveballs and meet you in the park after work. Beware though, this could keep him tied up for a while.

I feel stupider having read this.
ElectricBlue187
Banned
(06-23-2012, 06:55 AM)
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2. This is one of our favorites and it can translate into a number of situations. Ask your guy to go to the supermarket and give him a list of made up things like dehydrated water, sweet salt or a blunt knife. If he’s into fixing things, send him to the hardware store for a glass hammer or cement humidifier. For the sports guy, tell him to grab a box of curveballs and meet you in the park after work. Beware though, this could keep him tied up for a while.

Her husband must be the dumbest fucking human in the history of mankind
EnderWiggles
No
(06-23-2012, 07:05 AM)
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2. This is one of our favorites and it can translate into a number of situations. Ask your guy to go to the supermarket and give him a list of made up things like dehydrated water, sweet salt or a blunt knife. If he’s into fixing things, send him to the hardware store for a glass hammer or cement humidifier. For the sports guy, tell him to grab a box of curveballs and meet you in the park after work. Beware though, this could keep him tied up for a while.

Hey guess what, your husband isn't tied up because of your stupid joke, he's using it as an excuse to get out of the house for an hour and fuck someone who isn't a goddamn moron.
Trent Strong
Banned
(06-23-2012, 07:31 AM)
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Glass hammers are real though.
Slavik81
Member
(06-23-2012, 07:39 AM)
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Originally Posted by sk3

I don't even...

It's like it was written by someone that thinks they are much smarter than they really are. Teehee dumb husband.

"Glass hammer"? Really? What kind of fucking idiot would think that exists?

Glass breaking tools are occasionally called glass hammers. He might actually come back with a real product!
Retro_
Member
(06-23-2012, 07:39 AM)
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Originally Posted by Battersea Power Station

11. When you're out shopping and notice a pretty young girl walk by, tease your wife "Bet you wish you still had legs like that, honey." To show her it's all in good fun, buy her an ice cream and have a laugh before wheeling her up the next chair ramp.

Thanks for making me laugh like a madman at 2 in the morning
evilromero
(06-23-2012, 07:39 AM)
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Haha. Oh Fox.
akira28
am I an eager baby bird?
am I a cute baby bunny?
(06-23-2012, 07:39 AM)
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Originally Posted by Azar

This shit is hilarious. If there was a competition for Extreme Milquetoasting Amber Milt would be the fucking champ.

yes. Then she'll call her Dear Hubby "sugarbear", and ask him to come cuddle while they watch Crook and Chase.
RiZ III
Member
(06-23-2012, 07:44 AM)
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This is so stupid that it's seriously making me laugh. These are pranks of see on leave it to beaver or something. Hahaha I made a pillow fall on you! ...riiiight


Edit: reading these comments is making me laugh so hard I can't breathe
Last edited by RiZ III; 06-23-2012 at 07:48 AM.
Enco
Member
(06-23-2012, 07:46 AM)
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This has to be one of the stupidest things I have ever read in my life.
A Pretty Panda
fuckin' called it, man
(06-23-2012, 07:48 AM)
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Originally Posted by Trent Strong

Glass hammers are real though.


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