[XiaNaphryz]

NOAA Denies Existence of Mermaids:

The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA), which usually deals with environmental matters like tsunamis and hurricanes, recently took the strange step of posting a statement on their website denying that mermaids exist. In a post titled, “No Evidence of Aquatic Humanoids Has Ever Been Found,” NOAA notes that: The belief in mermaids may have arisen at the very dawn of our species. Magical female figures first appear in cave paintings in the late Paleolithic (Stone Age) period some 30,000 years ago, when modern humans gained dominion over the land and, presumably, began to sail the seas. Half-human creatures, called chimeras, also abound in mythology — in addition to mermaids, there were wise centaurs, wild satyrs, and frightful minotaurs, to name but a few. But are mermaids real? No evidence of aquatic humanoids has ever been found. Why would NOAA bother to pour cold water on mermaids? After all, there are many mythical things that the government doesn’t explicitly deny exist. The United States Bureau of Mines doesn’t issue statements clarifying that no dragons or trolls have been discovered in underground caves or mines, for example. So why mermaids? And why now? Credit (or blame) Animal Planet (a branch of Discovery), which last month aired a TV show called "Mermaids: The Body Found." It was a documentary-style show that “paints a wildly convincing picture of the existence of mermaids, what they may look like, and why they’ve stayed hidden...until now,” according to the show’s press Web page. Indeed, it says, “'Mermaids: The Body Found' makes a strong case for the existence of the mermaid...” Though the filmmakers acknowledged that the film is science fiction, for many people it was indeed “wildly convincing.” The show was an "X-Files" type fanciful mix of state-of-the-art computer generated animation, historical fact, conspiracy theory and real and faked footage sprinkled with enough bits of scientific speculation and real science to make it seem plausible. In fact, there were even interviews with real NOAA scientists. As with all good science fiction, there’s a grain of science and truth to it: the so-called “aquatic ape” idea it touted (suggesting our evolutionary ancestors may have lived in marine environments) is a real hypothesis, but has nothing to do with mermaids. As New York Times reviewer Neil Genzlinger noted, the story is “a fictional account built on a few strands of fact and made to look like an actual documentary. If you know those ground rules, it’s a rather enjoyable and intriguing piece of work, in the same vein as 'The Blair Witch Project'.” It seems that many people weren’t aware of those ground rules, and were fooled into thinking that there was more fact than fancy in the show. The title (and premise) of the show (“The Body Found”) is of course completely fictional but hardly the first faux-documentary show to fool people. A 1995 Fox television special called "Alien Autopsy: Fact or Fiction" used many of the same techniques and convinced many people with superficially plausible (though faked) footage of an alien autopsy. With a sly wink, "Mermaids: The Body Found" presented a fictional story in fake-documentary format for added plausibility. There’s a reason why so many horror films (especially supernatural-themed ones) claim to be based in fact or “on a true story,” when they’re not: it adds realism and interest. The program posed scientifically non-sensical questions like, “If massive whales haven’t been discovered until recently, it answers why we haven’t been able to detect mermaids yet?” (Answer: Whales have been studied for many decades and are not a “recent discovery;” the fact that genetic testing has revealed new subspecies of whales says nothing about why completely unknown mythical animals like mermaids have never been discovered.) Interestingly, NOAA has a history of addressing a few legends relating to oceans, including Atlantis and the Bermuda Triangle. Part of NOAA’s mission is public education and outreach, and if they get enough queries from the public on a given topic (even a mythical one) it’s likely they will address it. Photo: The "Sea Gods" emerge and surface on Coney Island's Surf Avenue to celebrate summer's arrival in true Brooklyn burlesque-style at the annual Mermaid Parade. Credit: Corbis

[Mully]

[strafer]

[GoldenEye 007]

Guess everything else was the Myspace angle...

:(

[Fantomen]

My goal in life has been crushed :(

[sphinx]

but what about dragons? I am still hanging on that hope.

if those don't exist either, then i'll gladly take a couple of pegasi, thanks.

[XiaNaphryz]

but what about dragons? I am still hanging on that hope. if those don't exist either, then i'll gladly take a couple of pegasi, thanks.

These days, pegasi have been reduced to brony material I thought.

[Phoenix]

I sincerely hope that No real investigation into the matter was taking place prior to this announcement.

[RoboPlato]

THEY'RE STILL REAL TO ME, DAMMIT!

[Amir0x]

Animal Planet had a show called MERMAIDS: THE BODY FOUND. Really. Really?

I fucking want to cut History Channel's throat for making this whole pseudo-science, pseudo-history garbage mainstream. STOP SUPPORTING TINFOILS

goddamn you don't know how fucking much I'm anticipating 2012 coming to an end so that we can finally have a stop to the Mayan conspiracy trash, now we gotta deal with mermaids?

[rpmurphy]

Which kind of mermaid?

[dskillzhtown]

That Animal Planet show was sure to confuse people who didn't see the beginning. I mean, Animal Planet has some hardcore documentaries and to throw some crap like that on there was weird.

But people should have exercised some common sense.

[the chris]

Which kind of mermaid?

Take your pick.

[Oozer3993]

Why couldn't she be the other kind of mermaid? With the fish part on top and the woman on the bottom?

[Mumei]

Animal Planet had a show called MERMAIDS: THE BODY FOUND. Really. Really?

Oh, it gets worse:

ANIMAL PLANET SLAYS WITH BEST-EVER MAY IN NETWORK HISTORY

-- Monster Week's MERMAIDS: THE BODY FOUND Made Mighty Splash with More Than 3.4 Million Viewers --

(May 30, 2012, Silver Spring, Md.) - Animal Planet devoured the month with its best May ever, earning its strongest performances in both prime and total delivery among all key demos, including prime deliveries of 681K P2+ (+7%), 508K HH (+7%), 330K P25-54 (+21%), 301K P18-49 (+12%) and 193K M25-54 (+30%), and total day deliveries of 456K P2+ (+13%), 355K HH (+10%), 215K P25-54 (+26%), 203K P18-49 (+13%) and 120K M25-54 (+32%).

Animal Planet's May victory was propelled its first-ever Monster Week (the week of May 21), featuring MERMAIDS: THE BODY FOUND, which made a huge splash at the "tail" end of the week. MERMAIDS: THE BODY FOUND delivered nearly 2 million viewers (1.96M P2+) for its premiere, making it the most-watched telecast since the Steve Irwin memorial special in September 2006.

Sigh

[FairyD]

Take your pick.

Fish head has got some nice legs. I would at least try.

[XiaNaphryz]

Animal Planet had a show called MERMAIDS: THE BODY FOUND. Really. Really? I fucking want to cut History Channel's throat for making this whole pseudo-science, pseudo-history garbage mainstream. STOP SUPPORTING TINFOILS goddamn you don't know how fucking much I'm anticipating 2012 coming to an end so that we can finally have a stop to the Mayan conspiracy trash, now we gotta deal with mermaids?

idontknowthereforealiens.jpg

[Count Dookkake]

How disrespectful of others' beliefs.

[Az987]

Tell that to the one I got locked up in my hot tub.

[The Power Of Snap]

Take your pick.

This one is hard

[Rentahamster]

Being curious, I watched a few minutes of that show on Youtube.

Ugh, how can anyone like this drivel.

[zoku88]

This one is hard

Kirk doesn't believe in the unwinnable situation.

[Sadsic]

Fish head has got some nice legs. I would at least try.

top one has mouth

[shadyspace]

Take your pick.

Stupidest either or ever.

[Rentahamster]

top one has mouth

And a nose!

[Huff]

Oh, it gets worse: ANIMAL PLANET SLAYS WITH BEST-EVER MAY IN NETWORK HISTORY -- Monster Week's MERMAIDS: THE BODY FOUND Made Mighty Splash with More Than 3.4 Million Viewers -- (May 30, 2012, Silver Spring, Md.) - Animal Planet devoured the month with its best May ever, earning its strongest performances in both prime and total delivery among all key demos, including prime deliveries of 681K P2+ (+7%), 508K HH (+7%), 330K P25-54 (+21%), 301K P18-49 (+12%) and 193K M25-54 (+30%), and total day deliveries of 456K P2+ (+13%), 355K HH (+10%), 215K P25-54 (+26%), 203K P18-49 (+13%) and 120K M25-54 (+32%). Animal Planet's May victory was propelled its first-ever Monster Week (the week of May 21), featuring MERMAIDS: THE BODY FOUND, which made a huge splash at the "tail" end of the week. MERMAIDS: THE BODY FOUND delivered nearly 2 million viewers (1.96M P2+) for its premiere, making it the most-watched telecast since the Steve Irwin memorial special in September 2006. Sigh

This was the mockumentary right? I watched it, semi entertaining. too bad most people will assume it's real

[Fancy Corndog]

In a post titled, “No Evidence of Aquatic Humanoids Has Ever Been Found,”

I'm glad we finally figured this one out. Thanks NOAA!


To be fair, there's probably been a lot of pressure on legitimate sources to state obvious shit because of all of the YouTube 'research' people have been doing lately and the fact that History, Discovery, and Animal Planet (to a lesser extent?) have completely sold out to that crowd and are no longer educational at all. I thought it was bad when History was nothing but Hitler marathons all day, but now that it's nothing but Ancient Aliens and Ice Fishers Xtreme I find myself...missing Hitler?

[XiaNaphryz]

I'm glad we finally figured this one out. Thanks NOAA! To be fair, there's probably been a lot of pressure on legitimate sources to state obvious shit because of all of the YouTube 'research' people have been doing lately and the fact that History, Discovery, and Animal Planet (to a lesser extent?) have completely sold out to that crowd and are no longer educational at all. I thought it was bad when History was nothing but Hitler marathons all day, but now that it's nothing but Ancient Aliens and Ice Fishers Xtreme I find myself...missing Hitler?

Hitler moved over to the Military Channel.

[BocoDragon]

SCIENCE HAS GONE TOO FAR!!

[equap]

another nail Evolution's coffin.

[Rafa=FedKilla]

Why you posting a picture of British women brah?

[samus i am]

vadernoooooo.jpg

[shira]

[Jacob]

Animal Planet had a show called MERMAIDS: THE BODY FOUND. Really. Really? I fucking want to cut History Channel's throat for making this whole pseudo-science, pseudo-history garbage mainstream. STOP SUPPORTING TINFOILS goddamn you don't know how fucking much I'm anticipating 2012 coming to an end so that we can finally have a stop to the Mayan conspiracy trash, now we gotta deal with mermaids?

Unfortunately, Animal Planet is part of the Discovery family of channels, not History. Apparently they want to get in on a piece of the pseudoscience ratings action. :/

top one has mouth

And breasts.

[ZombieTimeMachine]

It's excellent that they have now informed me of this because here I was believing The Little Mermaid was a documentary.

[GillianSeed79]

It's excellent that they have now informed me of this because here I was believing The Little Mermaid was a documentary.

That's a cartoon silly. Splash is the documentary. Just so I'm clear Daryl Hannah is still a mermaid right?

[Man Puncher]

I don't want talk to a scientist.

All you motherfuckers are lying and getting me pissed.

[Pre]

Glad we cleared that up.

[ZombieTimeMachine]

That's a cartoon silly. Splash is the documentary. Just so I'm clear Daryl Hannah is still a mermaid right?

Yes, the legs she had in Kill Bill were just CGI.

[GillianSeed79]

Yes, the legs she had in Kill Bill were just CGI.

I KNEW IT!

[Derrick01]

top one has mouth

All the more reason to pick the fish head :P

[AlimNassor]

I thought it was interesting enough. Pretty entertaining. I knew it was fake the moment they said they captured video and shared it online.

[Regulus Tera]

I remember when the Discovery Channel and its branching networks were about science. I feel old. :/

[XiaNaphryz]

I remember when the Discovery Channel and its branching networks were about science. I feel old. :/

They still play a bunch of geology and space related shows on Science Channel!

[cdyhybrid]

Mission accomplished.