[Aesius]

I wish the OP was about turning on the TV and seeing that we had made contact with aliens rather than Jesus coming back.

[rCIZZLE]

I wish the OP was about turning on the TV and seeing that we had made contact with aliens rather than Jesus coming back.

It's not as fun of a hypothetical as this is with the atheist/agnostic-heavy gaf.

[JLG-]

huh? I see him all the time on Hollywood Blvd.

[Red Liquorice]

He ran around with a bunch of dudes. Magdalene was a beard far as I'm concerned.

Well, I like daddies, but 2000 years old is too old even for me.

[StuBurns]

What about a group of known atheist scientists? I call bullshit if that's not enough. If scientifically proven Jesus 2.0 came up and asked you for a handy, you'd do it. I know I would.

I don't think the scientists being atheist would make any difference. It essentially comes down to the Clarke law, 'Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.', if a man, claiming to be the second coming of Christ appeared, and passed every test, performed any currently impossible act, I'd still be far more inclined to believe it was a time traveler, or an alien, things along those lines.

[Anteater]

I would be really proud to be on the news and post about it on gaf

[Devolution]

Well, I like daddies, but 2000 years old is too old even for me.

But buff jesus!

[Zeliard]

What if a man from the Upper Paleolithic had survived until the present day?

[StuBurns]

What if a man from the Upper Paleolithic had survived until the present day?

That film is wonderful. I wish the bluray was region-free.

[Pizarro]

Haha so many non answers. I'd ask him a bunch of questions and for a short tour of Hell. My initial reaction in all honesty would probably be a nervous breakdown.

[dekline]

I wouldn't give a fuck. Now if aliens would finally show up, that would be amazing. Btw it would be pretty hilarious when Jesus calls out all the people/religions that have used and twisted his words and teachings as an excuse to get rich and discriminate and murder people.

What if jesus was an alien?

Totally possible

[Count Dookkake]

"Why's your book so silly?"

"How come you let so many kids get raped in your holy buildings?"

"What's up with the Holocaust?"

[Mr Cola]

Im so sure that IF he existed and came back that sects of Christianity that wildly differ from his what he has come to say will doubt him, and if he proves he is supernatural they will call him the devil and actively try to kill him.

What if jesus was an alien? Totally possible

Hell have no passport or birth cirtificate so anywhere he goes he will be an alien under the law

[The_Hitcher89]

Hell have no passport or birth cirtificate so anywhere he goes he will be an alien under the law

The Tea-Party or whatever they're called would have a field day with him :P

[JokerOfSpades]

My only response would be "fuck."

As many joke answers as people are giving, basically I'd be doomed to an eternity of pain I'd never get used to.

It would mean that every belief I have would be trivial. If he really is against things like homosexuality, what the fuck could I do about it? In the end, current life means that much less.

I'd be so fucked.

Also means no sex before marriage or anything.

It would end very badly for most involved.

[Utako]

I'd be more interested in the answer to this age-old question: what would Jesus do?

Eating homosexuals like shish kebab?

Roasting millions of teenage boys over coals?

Shaking hands with all his favorite athletes?

Exploding strip clubs with his laser vision?

[Mr Cola]

The Tea-Party or whatever they're called would have a field day with him :P

Wait till the Westborough church get a hold of him, one hint of love and peace from his lips and they will walk around with signs calling him a "homo lover" wherever he goes.

[Bloodbeard]

I'd probably ask if I could leave this place now.

[Aiii]

My only response would be "fuck." As many joke answers as people are giving, basically I'd be doomed to an eternity of pain I'd never get used to. It would mean that every belief I have would be trivial. If he really is against things like homosexuality, what the fuck could I do about it? In the end, current life means that much less. I'd be so fucked. Also means no sex before marriage or anything. It would end very badly for most involved.

All joking aside, I would be totally okay with my fate in hell if the only reason I came to be there was being okay with people loving and screwing who they want and when they want. If Jesus was so petty as to condemn people to hell based on those two criteria, I would be okay not following him.

I couldn't follow anyone like that, so why even bother. If that's the criteria to enter heaven, then seriously, I won't even bother.

[The_Hitcher89]

My only response would be "fuck." As many joke answers as people are giving, basically I'd be doomed to an eternity of pain I'd never get used to. It would mean that every belief I have would be trivial. If he really is against things like homosexuality, what the fuck could I do about it? In the end, current life means that much less. I'd be so fucked. Also means no sex before marriage or anything. It would end very badly for most involved.

You'd say 'fuck that bollocks. My sense of morality is as valid as my creator and his son's, not to mention more accepting, progressive and positive.'

[JokerOfSpades]

All joking aside, I would be totally okay with my fate in hell if the only reason I came to be there was being okay with people loving and screwing who they want and when they want. If Jesus was so petty as to condemn people to hell based on those two criteria, I would be okay not following him. I couldn't follow anyone like that, so why even bother. If that's the criteria to enter heaven, then seriously, I won't even bother.

That's what I thought. But years of torture could break a man, save for an infinite amount.

Being realistic (lol), by 100 years most people will be denouncing everything they once held sacred in-between their screams. Much less 1000. Or more.

[Jzero]

Watch as all the different religions start World War 3.

[dekline]

Wait till the Westborough church get a hold of him, one hint of love and peace from his lips and they will walk around with signs calling him a "homo lover" wherever he goes.

They'll be the ones to crucify him

[UltimaPooh]

Rock me sexy Jesus.

[Jason Raize '75 - '04]

I would hire a lawyer.

I lost it here

[Mercury Fred]

I'd hit it.

[Mr Cola]

They'll be the ones to crucify him

All jokes aside, i honestly cant think of another way it ends other than someone assassinating him, im not sure people can tolerate openly supernatural things in this world

[Kwixotik]

At least three times .... there is a really good italian documentary about those dudes called I AM JESUS

"The first time I was told I was Jesus was on a mushroom trip."

Holy shit! Some old couple I ran into while walking around on my first trip told me God chose me. Maybe I'm Jesus too.

[Aiii]

That's what I thought. But years of torture could break a man, save for an infinite amount. Being realistic (lol), by 100 years most people will be denouncing everything they once held sacred in-between their screams. Much less 1000. Or more.

I'm not saying I won't be tormented in hell and hate every second of it. Might even regret that I was so foolish when I was alive. But that won't really change my fate either way, I'm stuck to suffer it for all of eternity wether I repent daily or not.

But while I'm alive? No, I'd never follow a guy that asked that of me.

[squidyj]

I'd dissect him. for science.

[Verdre]

I would realize I was right along all long. Magic is real. I pull out my wand and put on my wizard hat.

[Dutch Patriot]

Does he have Twitter ?

[JokerOfSpades]

I'm not saying I won't be tormented in hell and hate every second of it. Might even regret that I was so foolish when I was alive. But that won't really change my fate either way, I'm stuck to suffer it for all of eternity wether I repent daily or not. But while I'm alive? No, I'd never follow a guy that asked that of me.

Mm, so be it, but life is much shorter than eternity.

Thought experiment: Say that there was something you could do for only one day, and it was immensely pleasurable. Not even remotely immoral. But you are told that if you do that thing, you will receive a horrible fate for the rest of your life (imagine anything you consider to be terrible here).

Would you do that thing, or, weighing the consequences, choose not to do that thing so that you live the rest of your life happily?

[Count Dookkake]

I'd hit it.

You should watch a Verhoeven movie called THE FOURTH MAN.

[WorriedCitizen]

No way i would believe some TV reports on this. He would have to come to me personaly and prove his supernatural powers. And then i would probably assume that i have a bad flashback to a mushroom trip and went insane.

[shira]

It would be war. The Christian God appears and negates all other religions. People would go insane asking for miracle cures and skeptics trying to spin him for political and news reasons.

[Utako]

I think Jesus would be met with a fair amount of anger. People would see him with rotten eggs and vegetables, and even weaponry.

But Jesus would stop them with his telekinetic powers.

[Count Dookkake]

"You ever feel bad for your dad getting cuckolded?"

[Devolution]

"You ever feel bad for your dad getting cuckolded?"

I'm sure he pulled the "YOU AIN'T MY DADDY ANYWAYS."

[Kwhit10]

I bet Jesus already came back. But in this day an age when he tried to convince people they just ignored him. Or thought he was some crazy person. With the amount of skepticism these days Jesus is probably sitting in a straight jacket in some mental hospital.

[Huw_Dawson]

You can't really give a good answer to this, can you?

If the scenario is this:

"I mean think about it, a person who claims he is God or the son of God with supernatural powers comes down to Earth. Proves his status and now claims that we will make an eternal kingdom in his image."

Then it all comes down to how they prove their status, right?

AFAIK the gospels talk about Christ on certain occasions making his status as the son of God known to his followers, via either miracles and simply showing his true self. So if he did that latter one - basically showcased some totally infallible thing that proves that he's actually the real deal, then yeah. But if somebody shows up with supernatural powers but cannot definitively prove that they're actually God, they're obviously not God as the typical concept of God is being infinitely powerful etc.

It's an interesting notion but very quickly becomes rocky due to the subject matter. People are happier discussing events in The Lord of the Rings than the Bible.

[Aiii]

Mm, so be it, but life is much shorter than eternity. Thought experiment: Say that there was something you could do for only one day, and it was immensely pleasurable. Not even remotely immoral. But you are told that if you do that thing, you will receive a horrible fate for the rest of your life (imagine anything you consider to be terrible here). Would you do that thing, or, weighing the consequences, choose not to do that thing so that you live the rest of your life happily?

No, I would not. First off, I don't believe in life after death. As such, spending the rest of my life miserable would be way less appealing then having one day of immense pleasure.

Things might be different if I wasn't so content with the life I build for myself maybe. But I am happy, I have a great job that I enjoy doing and that pays for my bills and then some, I have a family and friends I love. Really, there's nothing in the world I can think of that could tempt me to spend the rest of my days miserable.

So, no, I would not.

[FoxSpirit]

How would react? I mean think about it, a person who claims he is God or the son of God with supernatural powers comes down to Earth. Proves his status and now claims that we will make an eternal kingdom in his image. What would be your reaction?

That's the difficult bit, you can not prove you are the son of god. And don't go taper with my mind, you know this is even more suspicious, perhaps insane Super-Alien.
So I'd do as I do now and listen to him, if he preaches good stuff I will support him, if he preaches bad stuff I will dismiss him. So nothing will change... except:
Okay, Physicists, get going!! Where does his power come from, is it his mind manipulating the fluctuations in the everpervasive vacuum?? That would be ace. Make sad puppy faces if he says we would only abuse the knowledge. Heck, get him actual puppies.

[Tamanon]

I'd be pissed, as if the carpentry industry isn't tough enough to find a job in.

[Majine]

I hope he'd set up a Q&A but that's about it.

[danwarb]

If he's good and tries to sort shit out I'd give him a chance to make up for his/his fathers sins.

Could genetically modify all sentient life forms in the universe so they no longer suffer in death. Getting eaten or skinned alive is too much and too pointless to suffer through. Turning that shit off would be a start.

[DarkHeartedKill]

Meh, go on living my life not caring.

[Bulbo Urethral Baggins]

I bet Sean Hannity would snag the first interview.

[Hazzard4life]

I'd ask him why he gave my awesome nephew only 15 years :(

[NullPointer]

I read about this scenario in a wonderful book called the Silmarillion. Basically we'd need to unite and take the fucker down.

Eventually he'll flee to the deepest pit and beg for pardon, whereupon we'll cut off his feet, turn his crown into a collar, and chain him before expelling him beyond the gates of night.