[Willkiller]

I bet Jesus already came back. But in this day an age when he tried to convince people they just ignored him. Or thought he was some crazy person. With the amount of skepticism these days Jesus is probably sitting in a straight jacket in some mental hospital.

Where he would belong then..

[Tamanon]

I bet Jesus already came back. But in this day an age when he tried to convince people they just ignored him. Or thought he was some crazy person. With the amount of skepticism these days Jesus is probably sitting in a straight jacket in some mental hospital.

Especially since people won't believe he's a black guy.

[samus i am]

You turn on the news, Santa Claus is making a press conference. It's the real deal.

[SquiddyCracker]

"You ever feel bad for your dad getting cuckolded?"

Well, why would he when he was the one doing the deed?

Mindblown.

[Avixph]

You turn on the news, Santa Claus is making a press conference. It's the real deal.

I will kill him.

[umop_3pisdn]

As an Apatheist that follows the Buddhist conception of soteriology, it wouldn't change anything.

[GillianSeed79]

We lapsed Catholics now atheists could just run to the nearest confessional booth before the whole lake of fire thing. It's actually a pretty sweet loophole.

[astroturfing]

depends where the dude lands. more than likely nowhere near me.. so i'd just watch it on TV. it had better have some amazing special effects for me to take it seriously though.

[HP_Wuvcraft]

He'd be killed by someone within minutes. Most likely a religious nut. He doesn't share the greed and bigotry that seems to follow it these days.

Yeah, the religious right would denounce Jesus within the first minutes of him opening his mouth.

And if we're talking a Jesus that can perform magic? Then shit would start getting really ugly. He would be labeled Satan in disguise, and shot.

[UraMallas]

We lapsed Catholics now atheists could just run to the nearest confessional booth before the whole lake of fire thing. It's actually a pretty sweet loophole.

Yep. I'd be in confessional faster than you can say little baby Jesus in a manger.

[Switters]

I assume this thread loosely refers to the events described in the book of revelation. The current and widely accepted belief is that those events are yet to occur - it's called "Premillennialism". Smart Christians realize the book of revelation was wholly symbolic and retold what most Christians thought were the end of days under Nero's persecution.

No one knows the hour or the day Christ is suppose to return or under what specific circumstances. The idea of the rapture itself is a modern concept not outlined in the bible.

Imagine being a Christian then. It would truly be considered the end of times as foretold by Christ.

link for those who are curious. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Premillennialism

p.s. I'm not a believer so don't jump down my throat.

[blame space]

how would you even know it was jesus.

god lives in canada apparently http://www.goddieux.com/

[MadOdorMachine]

How would react? I mean think about it, a person who claims he is God or the son of God with supernatural powers comes down to Earth. Proves his status and now claims that we will make an eternal kingdom in his image. What would be your reaction? Happiness as you believe that the worlds woes are now over that its led by a divine figure? Fear as you believe that looking at the world this man and/or who leads him can be up to no good and could very well be a power hungry mad man? I mean most people in the world preach to someone else, if they have a bad temper that would lead to one hell of a genocide. That could also include you as you have fear because you are now worried that you are going to hell. Bitterness as you are angry with how long they have let the world suffer? Whats your take.

I haven't read the thread but knowing how GAF is, I'm pretty sure what the reaction already has been and will be to my post. In any case, a situation like what you described is likely to happen as described in the Olivet Discourse/Mathew 24 however it won't be Jesus but rather a false prophet. When Jesus returns, it's supposed to be an unmistakable event that everyone will see. I don't know exactly how it will play out, but supposedly there will be extraordinary things occurring at the time to make the whole world watch. The sun and moon won't give any light (could be eclipses) and the star alignment itself could be off. It will also come at a time of great sorrow/suffering from war and tyranny when people will under a complete system of enslavement.

To answer your question, when Jesus does return it will be a time of great peace that the world has never seen. I interpret it as a healing time for the earth and humanity where food and life are dramatically increased. It could be the result massive spiritual awakening and technological advances during this time due to the lack of war. It should last about 1000 years until a final war occurs in which God intervenes. After that last war, there will be a spiritual judgement after which all evil is vanquished and humanity transcends into the next phase of evolution. The dead will be resurrected, we will have new bodies, be immortal and a new heaven and a new earth is discovered. Does this mean humanity are now fully exploring space? I don't know.

[Greenhowse]

I'm not changing my behavior. I'm a good enough person that, if there is a Heaven, I deserve to go there.

That being said, assuming that Jesus was real, I would love to talk with him and ask him questions about what he thinks about things such as the Bible, social issues, economics, why is he revealing himself now, assorted problem-of-evil questions, etc.

[Messypandas]

basically

[Woorloog]

I'd be more worried about demonic invasion. God exist, therefore Satan exists. Jesus can come back to Earth, why not demons?
That said, i'd stick to being atheist. Even if this would prove existence of God. I'd be like "Yeah, well, God created all humans and arguably atheists as well, deal with it" and keep living my life as i see fit.

[MadOdorMachine]

I assume this thread loosely refers to the events described in the book of revelation. The current and widely accepted belief is that those events are yet to occur - it's called "Premillennialism". Smart Christians realize the book of revelation was wholly symbolic and retold what most Christians thought were the end of days under Nero's persecution. No one knows the hour or the day Christ is suppose to return or under what specific circumstances. The idea of the rapture itself is a modern concept not outlined in the bible. Imagine being a Christian then. It would truly be considered the end of times as foretold by Christ. link for those who are curious. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Premillennialism p.s. I'm not a believer so don't jump down my throat.

I agree with a lot of what you said, but the conditions of the earth are outlined pretty clearly when these events are to take place. The reason no one knows the hour is because Jews base their calender on the moon. There was no way of predicting the exact time because of that but many speculate it will be the Jewish holiday Rosh Hashanna.

[ScientificNinja]

I'd be curious. I'd doubt the claim that he is the son of God and I would be interested to hear how, if at all, it is proven.

Assuming it's proven, I would ask a lot of questions. Such as:
- Why does he (assuming it's a "he") encourage a culture of fear by threatening an eternity of fiery damnation to those who do not subscribe to his beliefs, even if they live what would otherwise be considered "Christian-like" lives?
- Why does he consider women as chattels?
- How does he feel about the religions that simply pick and choose what they'd like to believe in from the Bible, as opposed to subscribing to the full text?

[EulaCapra]

I'd sleep my way to the top.

Power is everything.

[Nemesis121]

I turn on the news and Jesus is on TV, but when I look outside I can't see him in every direction I look, then that Jesus is the anti-christ and will go back to gaming...

[Napoleonthechimp]

If I'm feeling fear then the world's woes are not over.

[Xeke]

I turn on the news and Jesus is on TV, but when I look outside I can't see him in every direction I look, then that Jesus is the anti-christ and will go back to gaming...

Yeah, Anti-Christ needs to come first. Situation is not well thought out.

[speculawyer]

Meh. That's like saying "You turn on the news and it turns out Santa Claus is real." to me.



But playing along with your game, I'd like to get an appointment to ask some questions such as
-Why did you allow your children to come up with different religious texts so they spend thousands of years killing each other over it?
-Why did you create this crazy arbitrary creation story and then set up the universe in a way that makes it appear completely different?
-Why do you hate figs?

etc.

[Devolution]

nm

[astroturfing]

I'd be curious. I'd doubt the claim that he is the son of God and I would be interested to hear how, if at all, it is proven. Assuming it's proven, I would ask a lot of questions. Such as: - Why does he (assuming it's a "he") encourage a culture of fear by threatening an eternity of fiery damnation to those who do not subscribe to his beliefs, even if they live what would otherwise be considered "Christian-like" lives? - Why does he consider women as chattels? - How does he feel about the religions that simply pick and choose what they'd like to believe in from the Bible, as opposed to subscribing to the full text?

too much subtlety in your thinking. no eternal salvation for you!

[Timedog]

I'd eat out Jesus' asshole with heinz tomato ketchup. I'd get crazy gay for Jesus.

[MetatronM]

What happens if Jesus comes back and crip walks to celebrate his resurrection?

[Ash Sparrow]

fall to the ground and cry, moment I been waiting for all my life.

[Jhriad]

If he somehow convinces me that he truly is the Son of God, overriding my previous Agnosticism, then I'd be pretty happy. It'd be a confirmation of the afterlife. I would no longer have to fear the moment I die and cease to exist entirely. I'm okay with that.

I'd also be amused watching him denounce people that claim they do things in Jesus' name but in the end are just shitty human beings.

[Woorloog]

If he somehow convinces me that he truly is the Son of God then I'd be pretty happy. It'd be a confirmation of the afterlife. I would no longer have to fear the moment I die and cease to exist entirely. I'm okay with that.

I'd be okay with that as long as i get to live a few hundred years here at least. Preferrably millenia, the universe has a lot to be seen, i want to see and experience.

Depending on how Heaven works... if it is as my friend belives, ie practically a uber virtual reality, it ain't the same as the real world, i think. At least i cannot think of it as real. I'm too firmly grounded on reality.

[cutmeamango]

I'd buy some popcorn because Revelations (that tells what happens soon after) is fucking crazy.

[Flying_Phoenix]

I mean a North Korea situation could very much happen assuming he doesn't know shit about economics and is powermad.

[Az987]

What is Jesus wearing on his first public appearance?

[Randolph Freelander]

At the second coming, I hope I am not among those that cried "Lord, Lord" but in the end never knew him.

[Count Dookkake]

What is Jesus wearing on his first public appearance?

Gloves.

[Damon Bennet]

Lol at the "yeah no big deal, id surf gaf, jesus did not exist anyway" guys.
whats wrong with you?

I am an atheist, but seriously, it would be jesus. If something would be a big deal, then it would be the second coming of jesus christ. that guy can do magic.

confirmation of afterlife, righting the wrongs of what people did in his name etc would be great too.

and he most definitely did exist as a historical person.

[BPRD]

Has change the channel been said yet? because I probably wouldn't of been on a channel that mentions it in the first place

[MJLord]

Pray for forgiveness then start praying, what else is there to do ?

[MaverickHunterX]

Would try to get close enough to talk to him and ask about my life.

Something along the lines of, "What the fuck was this all about?". What point did it prove?"

[Air]

I'm not sure changing the channel would make sense. It would be on like every channel everywhere.

Don't know what I would do though.

[KillGore]

I would probably be mindfucked but I wouldn't follow him. Doesn't the bible say that the Anti-Christ will appear and make "miracles" to fool people? so I would be skeptical about it and just continue with my life and hope that I've been a good enough person to get into heaven (I'm an atheist so we'll see how that goes lol)

[Spiffy_1st]

I'd start a ghost busting agency because it would also confirm the existence of ghosts and shit.

[Woorloog]

Doesn't the bible say that the Anti-Christ will appear and make "miracles" to fool people?

What?

Dammit, there goes my plan for world domination.

[The Incarnation]

I'd lock him in my cellar, and sell wine by the shitloads.

[GodDuckman]

Hide under my bed and wait to be dragged into hell.

[Sentry]

A better question is what if it were Mohamed or Buddha or some other figure of a non-western religion?

Would the majority-christian countries and regions go into a state of panic, or are we past that level of societal/cultural influence with religion these days?

As for Jesus, it would depend what he says. If it's literally a human-form of the bible, the world would collapse in a day. If it's the cool-guy Jesus, it would be pretty neat. Assuming he probably wouldn't be all "CONVERT TO CHRISTIANITY OR ELSE!!".

[Bombadil]

I'd make a bunch of apathetic statements or try to sound humorous with some borderline erotic comment without ever providing a satisfying answer.

[Spiffy_1st]

A better question is what if it were Mohamed or Buddha or some other figure of a non-western religion? Would the majority-christian countries and regions go into a state of panic, or are we past that level of societal/cultural influence with religion these days?

Someone made an interesting documentary about that.

[Az987]

A better question is what if it were Mohamed or Buddha or some other figure of a non-western religion? Would the majority-christian countries and regions go into a state of panic, or are we past that level of societal/cultural influence with religion these days? As for Jesus, it would depend what he says. If it's literally a human-form of the bible, the world would collapse in a day. If it's the cool-guy Jesus, it would be pretty neat. Assuming he probably wouldn't be all "CONVERT TO CHRISTIANITY OR ELSE!!".

What if they all come back together to record a new version of We Are The World.

[metalslimer]

Would ask how he came to be so nice when his dad is a complete asshole.