[Fugu]

You two are always in threads like these having a good time. Sexuality and religion are two topics that is very divisive for many. You can go ahead and have zero-tolerance for joking on one topic while being free-wheeling in the other, but I logically cannot understand the double-standard.

Your religion is a conscious choice; sexuality is not. That means that the playing field for humour and minimum expected levels of tolerance are different.

[Devolution]

coldvein, no need to get all defensive. Count and Devolution post in a great number of differing threads and are well-known GAF members. Hell, probably even GAF Gold. I'm just making an obvservation - they both like to talk about topics like these. I may not always agree with some of the logic or reasoning, but joking aside, they both have good posts and often pose good retorts to responses and questions. Count, not sure about that man. I see the banhammer fall for people for things from "fat Gabe" jokes to racist crap, some of which I guarantee some posters find "funny." And with gems like this, don't you expect a little bit of disagreement:

Grasping at straws I see.

[zethren]

Anyone who doesn't believe in God/Jesus at the time of his apparent television debut would be screwed and be damned to hell. They can't suddenly convert, because KNOWING defeats the purpose of FAITH, and all of the Christians will laugh and say "told you so".

:(

[Count Dookkake]

coldvein, no need to get all defensive. Count and Devolution post in a great number of differing threads and are well-known GAF members. Hell, probably even GAF Gold. I'm just making an obvservation - they both like to talk about topics like these. I may not always agree with some of the logic or reasoning, but joking aside, they both have good posts and often pose good retorts to responses and questions. Count, not sure about that man. I see the banhammer fall for people for things from "fat Gabe" jokes to racist crap, some of which I guarantee some posters find "funny." And with gems like this, don't you expect a little bit of disagreement:

Sorry, on GAF I've made jokes about almost every taboo topic you could imagine. I am still here. The trick is for the jokes to not rely on some bogus "truth" about an "other" group. They actually have to reflect reality, or be so cartoonishly offensive that the joke is directed at someone who would hold that kind of POV.

You are wrong and religion will get no special protection.

[SoulPlaya]

coldvein, no need to get all defensive. Count and Devolution post in a great number of differing threads and are well-known GAF members. Hell, probably even GAF Gold. I'm just making an obvservation - they both like to talk about topics like these. I may not always agree with some of the logic or reasoning, but joking aside, they both have good posts and often pose good retorts to responses and questions. Count, not sure about that man. I see the banhammer fall for people for things from "fat Gabe" jokes to racist crap, some of which I guarantee some posters find "funny." And with gems like this, don't you expect a little bit of disagreement:

Just put them on your ignore list, and move on, if you're tired of their shtick. It's just a message board. If you don't feel like they're giving you respect, just ignore them.

Trust me, you won't be missing much, lol.

[Count Dookkake]

I am offended!

[Timedog]

Why would anyone get mad if something completely non-existent is made fun of? Would Christians get mad if I made fun of Xyblarnard, the 19 foot scorpion man from Ancient Jamaica???

DOUBLE STANDARD.

[Esiquio]

Grasping at straws I see.

Huh? I don't see how that last post was "grasping at straws".

Sorry, on GAF I've made jokes about almost every taboo topic you could imagine. I am still here. The trick is for the jokes to not rely on some bogus "truth" about an "other" group. They actually have to reflect reality, or be so cartoonishly offensive that the joke is directed at someone who would hold that kind of POV. You are wrong and religion will get no special protection.

Really, well I'll take your word for it as you've been here longer than me. I'm wrong about what? Did I ask for special protection for religion?! On GAF?! Are you kidding me. The first thing I did mention was how I think that there may be a double-standard for what kind of jokes are allowed here. Maybe my perception was wrong, but threads like the Chick-fil-a one make me think it may be possible.

Edit:

Just put them on your ignore list, and move on, if you're tired of their shtick. It's just a message board. If you don't feel like they're giving you respect, just ignore them. Trust me, you won't be missing much, lol.

I don't think that's gonna happen. I wasn't being sarcastic when I said they had some good posts.

[Trent Strong]

I would claim he was an alien and fucking with us and could never prove otherwise, because anything he does I would assert was possible with advanced technology.

Isn't the whole point of this thread that "it's the real deal" though?

[DarkHeartedKill]

I am offended!

You being offended has offended me!

[Pizarro]

Why would anyone get mad if something completely non-existent is made fun of? Would Christians get mad if I made fun of Xyblarnard, the 19 foot scorpion man from Ancient Jamaica??? DOUBLE STANDARD.

Depends if you make Xyblanard's head priestess cry. Disclaimer: I'm not a Christian.

[Devolution]

Huh? I don't see how that last post was "grasping at straws". Really, well I'll take your word for it as you've been here longer than me. I'm wrong about what? Did I ask for special protection for religion?! On GAF?! Are you kidding me. The first thing I did mention was how I think that there may be a double-standard for what kind of jokes are allowed here. Maybe my perception was wrong, but threads like the Chick-fil-a one make me think it may be possible. Edit: I don't think that's gonna happen. I wasn't being sarcastic when I said they had some good posts.

I don't have any disdain for Christians nor their beliefs. If we can't have absurdist humor about religion then that's no fun.

[Trent Strong]

Sorry, on GAF I've made jokes about almost every taboo topic you could imagine. I am still here. The trick is for the jokes to not rely on some bogus "truth" about an "other" group. They actually have to reflect reality, or be so cartoonishly offensive that the joke is directed at someone who would hold that kind of POV. You are wrong and religion will get no special protection.

Groan. Am I reading Social Text? I thought I was on an internet message board.

[Timedog]

Groan. Am I reading Social Text? I thought I was on an internet message board.

If you have a problem with what he said, you should actually state the problem, y'know since it's an internet message board. Please, please, please keep going.

[Count Dookkake]

Groan. Am I reading Social Text? I thought I was on an internet message board.

See, it's not just the religious that have trouble with false dichotomies and the like.

[Timedog]

Jesus is the perfection. We were made from his image. I can't imagine seeing the perfect human, not just some copy, and not being attracted to him. His perfect everything would fill me up. I would do anything to pleasure the lord. I would pleasure the lord sexually and otherwise as much as possible. I feel like if I licked Jesus' butthole out for hours upon hours, I could show him how much I loved him.

Of course I don't believe in Jesus, but this is the scenario I imagine and/or fantasize about.

[HP_Wuvcraft]

Have we hit the point of "how dare you make jokes" as it's somehow akin to bashing people's beliefs on a personal level or something?

A while back.

[Sentry]

You ask this like you think the Muslims or whoever wouldn't start having a hissy fit were JC to show up, espousing Christianity.

I'm curious, what part of my post comes off as me thinking Muslims wouldn't have a hissy fit? I'm sure many would go into a state of denial tbh, but as maharg said, JC is still an important figure for many of them.

[shanshan310]

I'd be like "yay, an afterlife exists". Then try and get on with my life.

Yup, me too. Nothing really beyond that.

[Letters]

"Can't believe I'm not waking up despite thinking hard about waking up, what an awesome lucid dream. Wait why am I failing to fly or summon my favorite pornstars this time, eh, that's weird.. and boring. Guess I'll just jump off this building to wake up."

[broony]

Feed it pizza then ask it to magic this wart off my cock.

[LCGeek]

How would react? I mean think about it, a person who claims he is God or the son of God with supernatural powers comes down to Earth. Proves his status and now claims that we will make an eternal kingdom in his image. What would be your reaction? Happiness as you believe that the worlds woes are now over that its led by a divine figure? Fear as you believe that looking at the world this man and/or who leads him can be up to no good and could very well be a power hungry mad man? I mean most people in the world preach to someone else, if they have a bad temper that would lead to one hell of a genocide. That could also include you as you have fear because you are now worried that you are going to hell. Bitterness as you are angry with how long they have let the world suffer? Whats your take.

My reaction would be truth. My cult has distorted view of christian teachings only wanting them and all the baggage they bring everywhere to come clean. Jesus or Tamil to us is to be trusted as much as the shiny greased up salesman trying to sell me a car.

That's all I have to really say.

[Lothar]

Stealth troll thread on Christianity. Its disgusting how much hate there is towards Christians and our beliefs.

Christianity is a hateful religion which promotes bigotry against homosexuals, worship of an egotistical genocidal baby killer, and the selfish belief that everyone who isn't a christian deserves to burn in hell among other things. Why shouldn't there be hate towards it?

As to the topic's question, that would really suck because it would mean that billions of innocent people would suffer.

[UrbanRats]

Lars Von Trier gets more hate than Jesus on GAF.

[MNC]

I'd change the channel from FOX to something else.

[Log4Girlz]

Isn't the whole point of this thread that "it's the real deal" though?

One can never know for sure. But if Jesus waved a magic wand and lobotomized me and I swore he was the real deal, well I would invite him over for BBQ

Feed it pizza then ask it to magic this wart off my cock.

You should totally ride around in a jeep and call it the Wartcock.

[Palette Swap]

Why would anyone get mad if something completely non-existent is made fun of? Would Christians get mad if I made fun of Xyblarnard, the 19 foot scorpion man from Ancient Jamaica??? DOUBLE STANDARD.

If Jesus returned, I would petition for this guy to come too, just to see them fight.

[G.O.O.]

Since this thread seems to be about unlikely events, I'd like to ask GAF what they'd do if the sky turned yellow and started raining squirrels.

Seriously though, I'm not even sure that Jesus' comeback would make any sense from a religious point of view. That would mean theocracy and no more faith.

[ThoseDeafMutes]

Seriously though, I'm not even sure that Jesus' comeback would make any sense from a religious point of view. That would mean theocracy and no more faith.

How much faith do you think it took to believe in Jesus when he was going around literally performing miracles in front of crowds? Like the people whose blindness he cured, or lepers he healed, or whatever. Faith can't be that important if you've got all these people who needed to have proof before they'd start spreading the word, and God totally ponied up the miracles to prove it to them. In fact, I'm not sure how much stock I put in the importance of even believing at all, given the billions who died never being exposed to Christianity because of geography.

[Log4Girlz]

Since this thread seems to be about unlikely events, I'd like to ask GAF what they'd do if the sky turned yellow and started raining squirrels. Seriously though, I'm not even sure that Jesus' comeback would make any sense from a religious point of view. That would mean theocracy and no more faith.

I've been in the middle of a golden squirrel shower, it is no trifling matter.

[G.O.O.]

How much faith do you think it took to believe in Jesus when he was going around literally performing miracles in front of crowds? Like the people whose blindness he cured, or lepers he healed, or whatever. Faith can't be that important if you've got all these people who needed to have proof before they'd start spreading the word, and God totally ponied up the miracles to prove it to them. In fact, I'm not sure how much stock I put in the importance of even believing at all, given the billions who died never being exposed to Christianity because of geography.

Then again a lot of these guys already had their religion.

I read the OP as "he proves it in a way that makes it impossible to doubt", otherwise he'll just be David Copperfield 2.

[Monocle]

I'd call him up and suggest he get cooking on a press release to clarify his position on all the shit that's done in his name.

[Timedog]

Do you guys think the lord has both sets of sexual reproductive parts, or maybe a completely new sexual reproductive part that is a combination of both at the same time but improved times 100? Also, who would the lord fuck? All humans? Yeah, he fucked us alright, and then a little tike farted out of the Lord's vagina. I tend to think Jesus looks more like his mother. Not sure how it is that our son is supposed to give us back our virginity (god didn't watch Back to the Future and doesn't know about breaking the time/space continuum), or why it involves being being washed in his blood (icky), but I'd ask him about these things.

Then I'd ask to see his sexually perfect godbody, and put my lips up and down and around every one of his multisexual naked parts.

[Rygar 8 Bit]

you saying the rover is going to open the portal to hell on mars thus triggering the return of jesus for the cacodemon invasion? i for one welcome our new cyberdemon overlords

[Cubsfan23]

there are examples of the bible where people didn't believe, and then when his spirit came back to life, they believed.

So I don't believe you're "screwed" if you don't start believing until after he comes.

supposedly you just get more rewarded or whatever if you believed before seeing him.

[VoteForPedro]

I'd probably sell him out for about 30€

[shinobi602]

Damn, they be some scary ass comments in this thread.

[Roelatie]

In before AVATAR CHANGE!!!!

MODS it is time! I waited years for the cuming of Jezus Christ....

[Yagharek]

I'd tell him to declare evolution is actually real and drag the christian influenced school boards into the 19th century.

[Computer]

[blame space]

maybe david copperfield is jesus

[Alligatorjandro]

GAF is damned

[Yagharek]

Since this thread seems to be about unlikely events, I'd like to ask GAF what they'd do if the sky turned yellow and started raining squirrels. Seriously though, I'm not even sure that Jesus' comeback would make any sense from a religious point of view. That would mean theocracy and no more faith.

We could also get Santa to offer professional advice to FedEx on how to speed up delivery times.

[dragonelite]

Ask him for a DNA monster so science exploit it?
Maybe he is one of those triple helix star childs i read about on those conspiracy forums :P

[Sanky Panky]

Do you guys think the lord has both sets of sexual reproductive parts, or maybe a completely new sexual reproductive part that is a combination of both at the same time but improved times 100? Also, who would the lord fuck? All humans? Yeah, he fucked us alright, and then a little tike farted out of the Lord's vagina. I tend to think Jesus looks more like his mother. Not sure how it is that our son is supposed to give us back our virginity (god didn't watch Back to the Future and doesn't know about breaking the time/space continuum), or why it involves being being washed in his blood (icky), but I'd ask him about these things. Then I'd ask to see his sexually perfect godbody, and put my lips up and down and around every one of his multisexual naked parts.

You are trying too hard...

[Wazzim]

I would be excited of course.

EDIT: Playing safe.

[Nyx]

I would be convinced someone put a whole lot of acid in my drink the night before.

[Pizarro]

Perfect

[broony]

Do you guys think the lord has both sets of sexual reproductive parts, or maybe a completely new sexual reproductive part that is a combination of both at the same time but improved times 100? Also, who would the lord fuck? All humans? Yeah, he fucked us alright, and then a little tike farted out of the Lord's vagina. I tend to think Jesus looks more like his mother. Not sure how it is that our son is supposed to give us back our virginity (god didn't watch Back to the Future and doesn't know about breaking the time/space continuum), or why it involves being being washed in his blood (icky), but I'd ask him about these things. Then I'd ask to see his sexually perfect godbody, and put my lips up and down and around every one of his multisexual naked parts.

Try harder.

Edit* What he said ^

[mrklaw]

I'm curious, what part of my post comes off as me thinking Muslims wouldn't have a hissy fit? I'm sure many would go into a state of denial tbh, but as maharg said, JC is still an important figure for many of them.

and whos to say he wouldn't come down and say "sorry, that bible got a few things wrong in translation I guess. i'm really not the son of god, the koran is closer to the real truth"

Or "everyone is wrong, I'm just an alien with technology that turned water into wine. Guess the ancient civilisations couldn't tell between that and a miracle"

I think all organised religions would be shitting themselves to hear what he actually says.