[Gaborn]

Five years ago, a man named James called his father and came out to him as gay. This week, James posted to the web forum Reddit the letter he says his father sent in response, which disowned his son forever, under the heading, “This is how hate sounds.” “I hope your telephone call was not to receive my blessing for the degrading of your lifestyle,” it begins. “I have fond memories of our time together, but that is all in the past.” In the letter, James’ father goes on to cut off contact with his son. “No communications at all,” he writes. “I will not come to visit, nor do I want you in my house.” He continues, “You’ve made your choice though wrong it may be. God did not intend for this unnatural lifestyle.” If his son chooses not to attend his funeral, he says, “my friends and family will understand.” The brief, brutal letter ends with, “Have a good birthday and good life. No present exchanges will be accepted. Goodbye.” James posted the letter to the atheism subforum of Reddit, where it was met with an outpouring of sympathy – though he said that’s not why he posted it. He told the Daily News that he’s a “well-adjusted guy” at age 33, but many gay young people have difficulty coming out. “These people need serious help, compassion, and guidance, through what will unquestionably be one of the rockiest experiences of their lives,” he said. James said he’s “not without a religious/spiritual point of view,” even though he posted his father’s letter to the atheism forum. The controversy over gay marriage – brought to a fever pitch in recent weeks by the news of Chick-fil-A’s millions of dollars in donations to anti-gay groups – made him want to show another side of the story. Anti-gay sentiments, James wrote from Los Angeles, “extend into families like mine.” While most Christians won’t go so far as to completely disown their gay children, as James’ father did, he said gay-marriage foes contribute to “breaking the very family unit they hold so sacred.”

Story Here

[nilbog21]

This is a very interesting news story: Butt-hurt Bigot disowns gay son. What does everyone think?

[Uriah]

What a terrible father

[TheChewyWaffles]

Personally, I would tell him that I don't approve but he will always be my son and I would never leave him. Always, always, always. My son will always have his father on his side.

[Computer]

Could've been worse.

[Kyon]

Makes me sick

EDIT: I came out to my parents like 6 years ago and they're in denial to this day lol.

[FStop7]

Dad's a selfish shitbird and he's better off without him.

[Satch]

Some father.

[ElTopo]

I'm honestly shocked at this. As a Christian I wish I could find words to apologize for such a hateful behaviour.

[Damon Bennet]

hm switches between capital letters and lower case letters. weird.

[speculawyer]

God did not intend for this unnatural lifestyle.

Uh . . . apparently god did. That is reality. That is not up for dispute, it is just a fact as evidenced all over the planet. If you believe in god.

[ivysaur12]

Could've been worse.

I don't like you.

Personally, I would tell him that I don't approve but he will always be my son and I would never leave him. Always, always, always. My son will always have his father on his side.

What don't you approve of?

[Perspicacity]

Personally, I would tell him that I don't approve but he will always be my son and I would never leave him. Always, always, always. My son will always have his father on his side.

Why wouldn't you approve? I mean, if your son was in a happy healthy relationship with someone who suited him well then what does it really matter if they're the same gender?

[Salvor.Hardin]

His dad must be left handed.

[Count Dookkake]

Why would the dummy sign it "Dad"?

Way to ruin the message.

[rvy]

Poor guy.

[iNvid02]

life is so short, to see shit like this is depressing

[ConradCervantes]

I don't like you.

Welcome to the club.

[dude]

I'm honestly shocked at this. As a Christian I wish I could find words to apologize for such a hateful behaviour.

You don't really have to apologize for other people's horrible behavior because you share some beliefs with them.

That dad is really a piece of shit guy.

[EatinOlives]

The man can't even fucking write legibly or in a straight line. I wouldn't expect him to have the mental capacity to accept his own son's different lifestyle.

[Gaborn]

Personally, I would tell him that I don't approve but he will always be my son and I would never leave him. Always, always, always. My son will always have his father on his side.

What does that mean in practice? If your son wanted to bring his boyfriend over for a visit and to stay the weekend, would you let them? Are you going to send them both Christmas cards? Are you going to pretend the boyfriend doesn't exist? I mean, exactly what are you trying to convey with your "don't approve" statement?

[Divvy]

Wow that father is a piece of shit

[TruthJunky]

Why wouldn't you approve? I mean, if your son was in a happy healthy relationship with someone who suited him well then what does it really matter if they're the same gender?

Of course he wouldn't approve. God *HATES* it when dudes love each other! *smh*

[Dutch Patriot]

This makes me so sad :(

[TheChewyWaffles]

edit. This remark is being taken widely out of context and it's a distraction from other, better discussions.

[Bombadil]

The man can't even fucking write legibly or in a straight line. I wouldn't expect him to have the mental capacity to adjust to his own son's different lifestyle.

Don't spark the ire of illegible-gaf.

[AShep]

I don't like you. What don't you approve of?

Don't shit up the thread. He was making a comment about how the father could have handled it better.

[speculawyer]

life is so short, to see shit like this is depressing

“Life is very short and there's no time, for fussing and fighting my friend. I have always thought that it's a crime, so I will ask you once again: try to see it my way, only time will tell if I am right or I am wrong. While you see it your way, there's a chance that we might fall apart before too long. We can work it out.”

-The Beatles

[dude]

The man can't even fucking write legibly or in a straight line. I wouldn't expect him to have the mental capacity to accept his own son's different lifestyle.

If your handwriting is an indication of you as a person I must be like a caveman or something :P

[TheChewyWaffles]

What does that mean in practice? If your son wanted to bring his boyfriend over for a visit and to stay the weekend, would you let them? Are you going to send them both Christmas cards? Are you going to pretend the boyfriend doesn't exist? I mean, exactly what are you trying to convey with your "don't approve" statement?

That I personally do not approve. Shrug. My intent was not to get this drawn into a debate about my personal preferences. I have not faced the situations you described (my son is 4 ffs) so I do not know how I would react to all of them - what I do know is that I would never write a letter like that father did.

[Perspicacity]

Get bent. I can have preferences just like everyone else. I would still love my son if something like this occurred.

I think it's a fair question. If you really love your son then shouldn't his happiness dictate your "preference". No one was insulting or demeaning towards you, we just genuinely want to understand your mindset.

[FStop7]

Get bent. I can have preferences just like everyone else. I would still love my son if something like this occurred.

"Something like this occurred"


What would that be?

[ReBurn]

This is sad.

If your handwriting is an indication of you as a person I must be like a caveman or something :P

Ad hominem statements are pretty common in threads like this. The content of the letter is enough to give us an indication of the kind of person the man is. Pointing out the handwriting makes no sense at all.

[Bombadil]

"Something like this occurred" What would that be?

I think he means that if his son were gay he would not disown him as this father has done.

[KarmaCow]

What an odd letter. It reads like he's doing it because he has to rather than he wants to cut his son out of his life.

[Snytbaggen]

Just wanted to say that I'm a christian and I think this is awful. It seems to me lately that too many American christians (far from all, just pointing that out) have forgotten the "everyone" in "god loves everyone".

[TheChewyWaffles]

"Something like this occurred" What would that be?

Jesus Christ. If I can't say what I said - that I would love my son, that I would always be on his side - that I would never write that letter - and still get fucking cross-examined then fuck it. Fuck off.

[EatinOlives]

If your handwriting is an indication of you as a person I must be like a caveman or something :P

I can maybe give you handwriting. Mine isn't so hot either, but if I actually tried I could make it readable. Not being able to write in a straight line, though, makes me shake my head.

[TheKaeptain]

Fuck that dude. He failed as a parent. His son needed his love and support and he failed in giving it to him. I have family like that. My cousin was disowned by everyone in our family except me and my dad.

If my son is gay and decides to come out to me I am going to say "okay, that doesn't matter to me. All I want is for you to be happy." Give him a hug and let him know I will always be there for him. Because that is what a parent should do.

[demon]

The man can't even fucking write legibly or in a straight line. I wouldn't expect him to have the mental capacity to accept his own son's different lifestyle.

Bad handwriting = bigot? You're the real bigot here.

[Zefah]

Just more evidence why a person's "beliefs" should not be valued and respected.

[Koodo]

While most Christians won’t go so far as to completely disown their gay children, as James’ father did, he said gay-marriage foes contribute to “breaking the very family unit they hold so sacred.”

Ain't that the scalding truth.

[Volimar]

When I was in high school an older friend of mine came out to his father and was disowned and kicked out of the home as well. He lost his mother to cancer when he was little and his father was really his only family. He spent more than 6 months incredibly depressed and homeless. His friends would hold late night parties every weekend and we'd trick him into staying over, because he felt like he deserved to be homeless because of his father's disappointment.. As his 18th birthday drew near he seemed like he was doing better, but after he went home on his birthday, his father told him that if he saw him again he'd shoot him. He wrote a few letters and went back to the house, waiting for his father to leave. When he had, my friend broke in and shot himself with his father's gun.

RIP Jason.

[Count Dookkake]

Has the internet yet figured out the father's identity?

[DonMigs85]

This happened to one of my mom's friends. His entire family of conservative Catholics disowned him and broke of all contact.
What's funny is that in the Philippines there are many bishops/monks/priests etc. known to be gay but I guess some people just choose to overlook that.

[Emerson]

I think it's a fair question. If you really love your son then shouldn't his happiness dictate your "preference". No one was insulting or demeaning towards you, we just genuinely want to understand your mindset.

I don't agree with what he said, but that's a load of crap. People are very ready to pile on this guy's opinions and it has absolutely nothing to do with actually wanting to understand why he feels the way he does.

[Cyan]

Why would the dummy sign it "Dad"? Way to ruin the message.

I hate you and I'm not your father.

Love, Dad.

[TheChewyWaffles]

I think it's a fair question. If you really love your son then shouldn't his happiness dictate your "preference". No one was insulting or demeaning towards you, we just genuinely want to understand your mindset.

If it took it personally then I apologize. It seemed like baiting to me and I didn't appreciate that. Is it ok to not want my son to be gay? Is that allowed? If some people want to be gay that's not for me to decide, but can't I have a preference as a parent?

[Gaborn]

That I personally do not approve. Shrug. My intent was not to get this drawn into a debate about my personal preferences. I have not faced the situations you described (my son is 4 ffs) so I do not know how I would react to all of them - what I do know is that I would never write a letter like that father did.

That's fine, you don't HAVE to know how you'd react. It is something to think about though. I think you should remember though if your son does grow up to be gay or bi and does meet another guy... that's part of his family and you will need to accept it.

[gatti-man]

I don't think groups that are anti gay marraiage make things like this happen. This is deep seeded bigotry. That's something someone just has inside them. I know of plenty of people who are against gay marriage but don't hate gay people. I know everyone wants to draw the correlation but for me I don't see it.