[East Lake]

I think you've crafted a scenario where you've carefully excused yourself from any emotional attachment or connection to "random people", which I think could be easily extended to include relationships with children involved. A relationship may or may not be bound for failure before you interfere with it. The woman you seduce may or may have not lived out her life in a healthy relationship. You might seduce her only to have her eventually realize that what she did was a huge mistake. If you want to believe it was for the best go ahead, but know that's not always reality.

[Evolved1]

But who am I kidding these threads are all about paranoia and accusations.

And possessiveness + insecurity.

[Blackace]

My g/f gets hit on all the damned time...she is very pretty and it should be expected that guys would be creeping on her. Both of us know we aren't leaving each other, we are very secure in this. She actually laughs at their attempts to hit on her when she talks about their stories...remember, girls aren't dumb, they know what guys are doing.

This.

If your SO loves you they really can't be seduced..

[Amon37]

This. If your SO loves you they really can't be seduced..

What I said like 3 times last Page.
Brofist

[Air]

It's no one's business to end it but if the person is seeking certain kinds of intimacy elsewhere, and that isn't just sex, getting them to re-evaluate their relationship isn't a bad thing. But who am I kidding these threads are all about paranoia and accusations.

Lol no. If op gave a specific scenario like you said, maybe the topic would be different, but he said "seduce" which usually means going after some one with sexual intent. It has nothing to do with paranoia but just the data the op gave.

[Devolution]

This. If your SO loves you they really can't be seduced..

Yeah they'll tell the dude or woman to fuck off quick. If they don't well then, awkward.

Lol no. If op gave a specific scenario like you said, maybe the topic would be different, but he said "seduce" which usually means going after some one with sexual intent. It has nothing to do with paranoia but just the data the op gave.

And if the person is receptive but mentions a SO they're forbidden to proceed in any fashion?

[EVOL 100%]

It's being an asshole.

Being an asshole is a free thing to do but don't be surprised if people give you shit for it.

To clarify, when the person being seduced is happy with his/her SO, you know that and still attempt to make the moves on him/her that's just scummy.

[Blackace]

I think you've crafted a scenario where you've carefully excused yourself from any emotional attachment or connection to "random people", which I think could be easily extended to include relationships with children involved. A relationship may or may not be bound for failure before you interfere with it. The woman you seduce may or may have not lived out her life in a healthy relationship. You might seduce her only to have her eventually realize that what she did was a huge mistake. If you want to believe it was for the best go ahead, but know that's not always reality.

wait, wait.. It is their responsibility to maintain their relationship.. not somebody anyone else..

[Zefah]

How about you stop thinking about people you don't know as just "random people," who don't deserve any consideration? Why do you think this is a good way to operate in life?

[Devolution]

wait, wait.. It is their responsibility to maintain their relationship.. not somebody anyone else..

Well let's be honest, if you're just fucking them without a care in the world that's douchemode. If you care about them it's worth telling them no foreplay until they drop the dude/dudette. Otherwise you really are just encouraging cheating and lying.

[Rentahamster]

because someone always catches feelings, and I found that if the lady wanted to be with me I could never trust her.. because you know she cheated on her last bf.. vicious circle.

Yep. Not a good way to start a good relationship. Even if one just wants to fuck around, there are many other options that don't involve being an asshole.

[Blackace]

Well let's be honest, if you're just fucking them without a care in the world that's douchemode. If you care about them it's worth telling them no foreplay until they drop the dude/dudette. Otherwise you really are just encouraging cheating and lying.

Personally I really couldn't be a side dude I am not made like that... But if they want to just be a sex-toy than it is really not their responsibility to make someone be honest or whatever..

[Air]

And if the person is receptive but mentions a SO they're forbidden to proceed in any fashion?

You can do whatever you want to do, but that does not make it right, logical or whatever else. Chances are someone would get hurt and I value that enough to not make that decision; however I still have to ask, is it really worth it to cheat on someone when there are tons of other woman/men out there? Is sex that scarce for you? This isn't a closed environment when you only have 2 options (to cheat or not) there's a big world out there with plenty of options, so why must you be "that person?" Please tell me your cost benefit analysis for that. I am interested in knowing.

FWIW I've been "that guy" so I think my pov comes from a well reasoned place.

[Devolution]

Personally I really couldn't be a side dude I am not made like that... But if they want to just be a sex-toy than it is really not their responsibility to make someone be honest or whatever..

It's not their responsibility to but it still makes them complacent in the act of doing it. Personally if I was a guy I wouldn't do it out of sheer safety concerns.

You can do whatever you want to do, but that does not make it right, logical or whatever else. Chances are someone would get hurt and I value that enough to not make that decision; however I still have to ask, is it really worth it to cheat on someone when there are tons of other woman/men out there? Is sex that scarce for you? This isn't a closed environment when you only have 2 options (to cheat or not) there's a big world out there with plenty of options, so why must you be "that person?" Please tell me your cost benefit analysis for that. I am interested in knowing.

Cost benefit analysis of chemistry with another person and acting on it. Yup I'm on GAF.

[Atrus]

Are your SO's dipshits who are easily manipulated into cheating? If that's the case why would you want to be with them anyway?

Most people in this world can be manipulated, even you. There is no evidence that you are any better than anyone else in this regard.

The question is not if you can be manipulated, it's how can you be manipulated.

Love like many emotions changes over time and can even waver or vary in intensity. The idea that someone is going to benevolently enter into a relationship for the good of others is a narcissistic joke. An attempt to explain away being a vile human being.

[Bay Maximus]

This. If your SO loves you they really can't be seduced..

Such a simple, yet overlooked concept.

Cost benefit analysis of chemistry with another person and acting on it. Yup I'm on GAF.

lolol. Is it me, or has GAF gotten more hilarious recently.

[SouthernDragon]

Not even close but still it all comes down to willingness.

The magnitude is different, but the concept is similar. It's about temptation. Some people can't be tempted, but context plays a large role.

[Blackace]

It's not their responsibility to but it still makes them complacent in the act of doing it. Personally if I was a guy I wouldn't do it out of sheer safety concerns.

Having sex with them in the first place makes them that...

[demosthenes]

The more I think about it, the more I think it's perfectly ok. What would be wrong with it exactly? People are free to make their own choices right? And you have zero obligations to that person's SO, so if they're willing to leave/cheat for you, how happy were they to begin with? Why should some random guy/girl's happiness be your burden? After giving this a little thought (on two hours of sleep), I honestly don't see what's the big moral issue with seducing a taken person*. Two separate events this week got me thinking about this, but so as not to detrail my own thread, I will just leave my opinion on it. * Unless either that person is in a relationship with a friend of yours, or they are married with children. Am I tripping GAF?

Why end it here?

[Zefah]

Such a simple, yet overlooked concept.

Much easier said than what actually may be the case in reality.

Who are you to say that a person doesn't love his or her partner?

What if, after being heavily convinced by another person, that person ends up cheating on his or partner but deeply regrets it?

It's a shitty situation and the person definitely must blame his or herself, but the whole thing never would have happened if the seducer just stayed the hell away in the first place.

Why go around actively trying to ruin people's lives? Why does not knowing someone mean that person is not deserving of consideration?

[Air]

Cost benefit analysis of chemistry with another person and acting on it. Yup I'm on GAF.

It'd be easier if you just answered the question :p. Simply put is it worth it to cheat, seduce or whatever? There's plenty of other people, why this person? Make fun all you want, its not a terrible question to ask.

[Blackace]

Much easier said than what actually may be the case in reality. Who are you to say that one person doesn't love their partner? What if, after being heavily convinced by another person, that person ends up cheating on his or partner but deeply regrets it? It's a shitty situation and the person definitely must blame his or herself, but the whole thing never would have happened if the seducer just stayed the hell away. Why go around actively trying to ruin people's lives? Why does not knowing someone mean that person is not deserving of consideration?

people are going to pursue people they find attractive, that's life.

If someone is just looking only to have sex with women in a relationship then they are actively trying to ruin lives.

But if they click someone and both parties run with it then it is what it is..

Men and women make mistakes... but in the end you are responsible for your choices.. not the "seducer" or whoever..

[Fugu]

I'm inclined to believe that meddling in any relationship where one party is not being physically or emotionally abused is generally bad karma. Relationships are complex enough with two people in them, and they don't need barely involved outside parties making them more complicated. If you have some serious attraction to get off your chest, that's one thing, but that hardly falls under the category of seducing.

[M-PG71C]

If they'll do it with you, they'll do it to you.

/end thread

[Freshmaker]

The more I think about it, the more I think it's perfectly ok. What would be wrong with it exactly? People are free to make their own choices right? And you have zero obligations to that person's SO, so if they're willing to leave/cheat for you, how happy were they to begin with? Why should some random guy/girl's happiness be your burden? After giving this a little thought (on two hours of sleep), I honestly don't see what's the big moral issue with seducing a taken person*.

It depends on the person.

For example, my mom thought it was repulsive that a guy she worked with back in the day was trying to get her to go on a date with him when:

1) He knew she was married.
2) She was pregnant with me at the time.

His advances were completely unwelcome.

[Blackace]

I'm inclined to believe that meddling in any relationship where one party is not being physically or emotionally abused is generally bad karma. Relationships are complex enough with two people in them, and they don't need barely involved outside parties making them more complicated. If you have some serious attraction to get off your chest, that's one thing, but that hardly falls under the category of seducing.

well sadly, there will always be outside parties.. from friends, relatives, to dudes/ladies hitting on your SO..

[East Lake]

wait, wait.. It is their responsibility to maintain their relationship.. not somebody anyone else..

I agree, and that's great if relationships don't go through ups and downs. But if Bay Maximus swoops in at the wrong time he could end a relationship that could have been repaired. Obviously this doesn't apply to a situation where the couple resents each other or something like that, but from what I've read this doesn't seem to concern the op with the "random people" comment and general detachment. My point is you can't always decide beforehand how another person's life will play out, or what is best. Nobody can know, and convincing yourself otherwise is dishonest.

[Blackace]

/end thread

/not really

I don't think this is a thread about making a fruitful relationship from this..

[Copernicus]

It depends on the person. For example, my mom thought it was repulsive that a guy she worked with back in the day was trying to get her to go on a date with him when: 1) He knew she was married. 2) She was pregnant with me at the time. His advances were completely unwelcome.

Pregnant women are incredibly irreristable.

[Blackace]

I agree, and that's great if relationships don't go through ups and downs. But if Bay Maximus swoops in at the wrong time he could end a relationship that could have been repaired. Obviously this doesn't apply to a situation where the couple resents each other or something like that, but from what I've read this doesn't seem to concern the op with the "random people" comment and general detachment. My point is you can't always decide beforehand how another person's life will play out, or what is best. Nobody can know, and convincing yourself otherwise is dishonest.

Not really his responsibility...

[East Lake]

Not really his responsibility...

Neither are kids or divorces.

[computers putin']

as far as hitting on someone who is taken, I'm indifferent towards it. It's already been said but you can't seduce someone into cheating if they don't want it to happen, and if wasn't gonna happen with you, it was gonna happen with someone else. The exception would be taking advantage of someone is emotionally vulnerable ( going through a temporary split with their s/o or something of the sort) and not totally capable of making a rational decision, that would be pretty shitty of you.

[Blackace]

Neither are kids or divorces.

He already stated he doesn't want to date a woman with kids, soooooo yeah...

Mostly I was talking about non-married people in general..

[SapientWolf]

as far as hitting on someone who is taken, I'm indifferent towards it. It's already been said but you can't seduce someone into cheating if they don't want it to happen, and if wasn't gonna happen with you, it was gonna happen with someone else. The exception would be taking advantage of someone is emotionally vulnerable ( going through a temporary split with their s/o or something of the sort) and not totally capable of making a rational decision, that would be pretty shitty of you.

That's usually when the cheating happens. When people are drunk and/or emotionally vulnerable.

[Copernicus]

That's usually when the cheating happens. When people are drunk and/or emotionally vulnerable.

Anybody who is capable of cheating is "emotionally vulnerable" and enticing them into progressing through their doubt is actually a form of altruistic therapy.

[aznpxdd]

I'm going with Ace's post even if its not the popular opinion.

If the girl isn't married and I don't know the guy, fair game.

[Fugu]

well sadly, there will always be outside parties.. from friends, relatives, to dudes/ladies hitting on your SO..

Right, but one of these parties is not like the others: Friends and relatives are there because they have some sort of emotional attachment to the parties in the relationship; dudes/ladies hitting on your SO have a vested interest in ending or otherwise damaging the relationship.

[East Lake]

He already stated he doesn't want to date a woman with kids, soooooo yeah... Mostly I was talking about non-married people in general..

Well I'm trying to say I find the no responsibility argument unsatisfactory. There's plenty of decisions I could make that are both more and less unpleasant than seducing a taken woman that in the end I could defend by saying not my problem.

[Blackace]

Right, but one of these parties is not like the others: Friends and relatives are there because they have some sort of emotional attachment to the parties in the relationship; dudes/ladies hitting on your SO have a vested interest in ending or otherwise damaging the relationship.

Not really, most times the person has no idea that the other person is in a relationship..

When it happened to me, we would be talking after we met and then it would be "I have something to tell you..."

By that time there is an emotional attachment..

[Blackace]

Well I'm trying to say I find the no responsibility argument unsatisfactory. There's plenty of decisions I could make that are both more and less unpleasant than seducing a taken woman that in the end I could defend by saying not my problem.

you don't have to be satisfied with it, but it is a fact.


Japan is fairly awesome for the fact that if a person is married and cheats and gets caught both them and the person they cheated with can get sued.. it is illegal, so it is a person responsibility..

[Snakeyes]

I agree with you, OP. You can generally tell if the person's going along with your advances or is truly committed to their current partner. If the former is true, there's really no point in limiting your options, especially when it's the other party who has the final say in the matter.

That being said, I'm not the type to keep pursuing if the girl is visibly having some conflicted feelings or to go after a friend's SO.

[Mecha_Infantry]

This is my situation with a married lady

I think the problem is, people who are not in the situation just stand there and say its all wrong. They're partially right but it's not that straight forward.

We seduced each other whilst drunk, I tried to apologise the following day and it worked out she liked me from day one. That was about a year ago, but it's gone worse....she actually loves me and can't doesn't want to stay in her marriage

But I think she was always going to dothst anyway. Me or no me, she was always looking for a way out

[Subitai]

I forget where I saw a stat that like 30% of people admitted in a survey that they will pursue someone even if they know that person is in a relationship. I always remember it when people actually try to reason with themselves that this is ok, and when people automatically dismiss their significant other's feelings of jealously.

We're wired to feel jealous as a defense against this dishonest behavior that obviously is started to become more prevalent.

[Wazzim]

There are plenty of other single people out there..no need to mess with taken folks. It's just rude and not respectful.

the single ones are a lot less fun most of the time though

[Fugu]

Not really, most times the person has no idea that the other person is in a relationship.. When it happened to me, we would be talking after we met and then it would be "I have something to tell you..." By that time there is an emotional attachment..

Well obviously you can't expect people to be omniscient. But if they know, they should exercise discretion.

[Devolution]

I forget where I saw a stat that like 30% of people admitted in a survey that they will pursue someone even if they know that person is in a relationship. I always remember it when people actually try to reason with themselves that this is ok, and when people automatically dismiss their significant other's feelings of jealously. We're wired to feel jealous as a defense against this dishonest behavior that obviously is started to become more prevalent.

lol no.

[East Lake]

you don't have to be satisfied with it, but it is a fact. Japan is fairly awesome for the fact that if a person is married and cheats and gets caught both them and the person they cheated with can get sued.. it is illegal, so it is a person responsibility..

Having responsibility in the legal or technical sense isn't something I'd argue for so I guess I don't really have anything left to say.

[DominoKid]

i'd be fine with it. of course im not the one w/ an obligation to another person.

[Subitai]

lol no.

Compared to previous generations.

Well even compared to a decade ago. I mean, I could never imagine a thread like this existing in the general forum here in 03.

*still looking to find the article*

**someone else can comb the archives for a similar thread to this one**

[Devolution]

Compared to previous generations. Well even compared to a decade ago. I mean, I could never imagine a thread like this existing in the general forum here in 03. *still looking to find the article* **someone else can comb the archives for a similar thread to this one**

Infidelity is one of those things that spans all sorts of cultures and time periods.