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KevinCow
Banned
(10-11-2012, 05:21 AM)
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I made kind of a scene a week ago around here, and some people seemed a bit worried about me, so I figured I'd fill everyone in. Since that thread was justifiably locked, here's a new one for some closure.

I'm not dead. Just to get that out of the way. The rest... well, let's just go in chronological order, shall we?


Wednesday, 10/3 - After being laid off of my job and rejected by a girl I liked, I had a bit of a mental breakdown and shared it with GAF.

Took a whole bottle of 40 Klonopin (anti-anxiety meds), plus a whole bottle of cheap shitty wine. Made some stupid posts. Not trying to kill myself. Just... trying to stop being depressed. Turns out it did more the opposite.

Fiction, who I'm Facebook friends with, sent a message to my mom informing her of the situation.

At some point (around 2:00 PM according to my post history), the pills finally caught up and knocked me out.


Thursday, 10/4 - I woke up surrounded by family, ambulance, and cops. They brought me to the hospital. Told me I had a thing called a 1013, which is a Georgia legal thing that meant I had to go to a mental institution for a bit.

I've been in institutions before. They were not happy memories. I did not want to go back. Being that I was still quite fueled by alcohol and pills, I had the wise idea to just walk out of the hospital. Where was I going to go? Hell if I know. Either way, the large men with tasers disagreed.

Protip: Don't get tased. Not pleasant. Although I am somewhat proud of the fact that even under the influence of mind-altering substances and after being tased, it still took three large men to take me down.

Now having been tased, slammed, and strapped down on top of the aforementioned influence of pills and alcohol and my long-standing history of mental issues, particularly those regarding anger, I think it's reasonable to state that I wasn't exactly in a sound state of mind. So yes, some particularly nasty rage vomit began to spew forth from my mouth. But... I'll get back to all that later.

Long story short, I wind up in the institution.


Friday, 10/5 through Monday, 10/8 - Days spent in the institution. Relatively uneventful in the grand scheme of this story, but highly therapeutic for me. Not nearly as terrible as the institutions I remembered from my youth. Maybe it's because the institution is under different management, or maybe it's because I'm older and they were treating me like an adult and not a retard.

But while I'd rank my adolescent institution experiences among some of my worst memories, I'd rank this latest institution stay among my best. I know how crazy that sounds, but it really did so much to help set my mind straight.


Tuesday, 10/9

Some changes to my meds, a new outlook on life, I felt pretty good when my dad picked me up from the institution. And hell, as therapeutic as it was, it was nice to get my freedom back.

We went home. But the family friend I was staying with decided she didn't want me living there any more after all that this ordeal has put her through, and you know what? I don't blame her. I talked to her and told her that I understand, comforted her, grabbed some of my essential stuff, then went to my parents' house, which... I guess is where I'm staying for now. Opened my laptop to check GAF.

BANNED.

Yes, I didn't even notice that I was banned until nearly a week later. And while I can appreciate the notion of, "Get off GAF, go do other stuff," I have to question the logic behind banning a person who's clearly extremely depressed and out of his mind and seeking some sort of help. BUT WHATEVS, YO.

Anyway, ban's up in a day, I can be GAFless for that much longer. Gave me some time to go get pizza with my dad. It's kinda the thing we like to do together. He gets an excuse to drink and a designated driver, I get food he pays for. Win-win all around! Oh, and I suppose spending time with him is nice as well. We even invited the grandparents along this time, and to everyone's surprise, ran into my cousin I haven't seen in years since he just happened to be working in the kitchen. Seriously, we go to this place all the time, and suddenly here's my cousin who's just gotten a job there. Crazy coincidence.

Turns out it was also trivia night, so we played, did horribly, but then so did everyone else so we didn't lose that horribly, and just had an overall nice night. Said our goodbyes, went our separate ways, drove home. As we were pulling into the neighborhood, I was all excited to get home and watch an episode of Once Upon A Time that I missed while I was in the institution.

Only, there was a cop waiting in front of our house. Got out of his car and approached us as we parked.

"Sir, are you Kevin?"

"Yes?"

"I have a warrant for your arrest for making terroristic threats at a hospital."

Remember that rage vomit part I said I'd get back to? Because yes, when a patient is brought into a hospital for mental issues, and then proceeds to exhibit said mental issues, the appropriate response is to press charges. If you get stabbed and go to a hospital, make sure you don't bleed on anything or they may press charges for destruction of property!

Somehow (in retrospect, alcohol may have had something to do with it), I was the one who remained calm while my dad started to freak out and try to get in the cop's face. I managed to calm my dad down enough that I was the only one arrested that night, and then went willingly.

Protip #2: Don't get arrested. I could write a whole other post on how awful and dehumanizing that experience was. Still, thanks in part to my recent stay at the institution, I was somehow able to keep my cool. Some of the cops were cool - the guy who drove me in was particularly nice and comforting as we chatted during the drive - but to others, I was just another number in a long list of numbers that they see every day. Managed to keep my cool by being as friendly as possible to every cop there. Cracked a few jokes here and there, managed to get a few chuckles. Chatted with one guy about movies and our excitement for The Hobbit.

But I'll be damned if it didn't take every ounce of energy to keep my sanity throughout that ordeal. Having them take my clothes and throw some sort of weird new age straightjacket thing on me? It was basically a really thick tarp with velcro and arm holes. Actually, kinda like a longer version of the vest Bane wears in TDKR. I didn't even have underwear on, so everything down there was completely exposed if I so much as leaned in the wrong way.

Finally managed to get my call and reach my dad. He was fucking awesome, already on his shit, at a bail bonds place, figuring out how to get down the $5,700 they were asking for to get me out.

Then they gave me a mattress and a blanket, threw me in a dirty room with four other guys, and told me to lay down.


Wednesday, 10/10

After laying on an uncomfortable mattress in an uncomfortable and embarrassing outfit for what seemed like hours, my dad finally managed to get me out at about 1:30. Why did it take so long? I don't know. Fucking bureaucracy. Swung by the bail bonds place to fill out some paperwork. Got home at like 3:00.

And you know what? My dad went to sleep, but I watched my fucking episode of Once Upon A Time, 9:00 appointment for outpatient therapy at the institution be damned. I didn't want jail to be the last thing on my mind before going to bed.


Anyway, after doing some research and talking to people, it seems like the charges are complete shit, so I'm not too worried about that. Everyone, including the cop who arrested me, said pretty much the sam thing: They're gonna be dropped. And if they're not dropped, the judge is gonna laugh in their face. And if he doesn't laugh in their face, I'm going to show them documentation that I have a diagnosed mental illness that I'm continuing to work on with several doctors, and he's gonna see that convicting me would be a goddamn waste of everyone's time. So I'm basically clear as far as future consequences go. But that still doesn't change the horrible experience of being arrested.



tl;dr version

Everything went better than expected. Then things took a sudden turn for the worst and went immensely more horrible than expected.

But in the end... I think things are gonna be okay. I'm illogically a little upset at miss Fiction for contacting my parents, but I'm also thankful she did so, because I clearly needed help, and now I'm getting it.

I'm probably gonna try to spend a little less time on GAF from now on, just to do things in the real world. But I'll still be around.
Ultima_5
Member
(10-11-2012, 05:25 AM)
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Originally Posted by KevinCow



Friday, 10/5 through Monday, 10/8 - Days spent in the institution. Relatively uneventful in the grand scheme of this story, but highly therapeutic for me. Not nearly as terrible as the institutions I remembered from my youth. Maybe it's because the institution is under different management, or maybe it's because I'm older and they were treating me like an adult and not a retard.

Happy you're still around and things turned out better than expected. you're a good poster and what not... though I'm pretty sure the bolded isn't exactly politically correct
NH Apache
Member
(10-11-2012, 05:26 AM)
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Glad you're safe. Welcome back.
Emitan
Member
(10-11-2012, 05:26 AM)
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I am happy that things are improving for you, Kevin. You are a good person who just needed the right help.
krioto
Member
(10-11-2012, 05:27 AM)
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Originally Posted by Ultima_5

Happy you're still around and things turned out better than expected. you're a good poster and what not... though I'm pretty sure the bolded isn't exactly politically correct

really? I think he may get a pass just now. Christ on a bike.
Emitan
Member
(10-11-2012, 05:28 AM)
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Originally Posted by Ultima_5

Happy you're still around and things turned out better than expected. you're a good poster and what not... though I'm pretty sure the bolded isn't exactly politically correct

Just let the guy rant. Fucking hell.
Drugula's Wrath XXX
Banned
(10-11-2012, 05:28 AM)
Stop fucking posting and get help! Seriously go out, socialize, try to make things better, see a therapist, work out, etc. instead of posting "woe is me" threads on a fucking videogame forum.
Lissar
Reluctant Member
(10-11-2012, 05:29 AM)
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I'm glad you're able to get the help you need, despite everything that happened. Good luck!

Originally Posted by TheGrimeyGrimReaper

Stop fucking posting and get help! Seriously go out, socialize, try to make things better, see a therapist, work out, etc. instead of posting "woe is me" threads on a fucking videogame forum.

The entire post was ABOUT how he's now getting help and going to spend more time off GAF. I'm glad he posted because I think more than a few of us were concerned. What's wrong with you?
Emitan
Member
(10-11-2012, 05:30 AM)
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Originally Posted by TheGrimeyGrimReaper

Stop fucking posting and get help! Seriously go out, socialize, try to make things better, see a therapist, work out, etc. instead of posting "woe is me" threads on a fucking videogame forum.

Did you even read his post? He's getting help from many doctors and is going to post less on GAF. A number of posters on this forum were worried for him and he is letting us know how things are going.
EVOL 100%
Member
(10-11-2012, 05:30 AM)
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Good to see you back, and good to see you getting the help you need.

You legit scared me in that thread man.
chaostrophy
Member
(10-11-2012, 05:31 AM)
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That arrest seems ridiculous. Do you live in the US and was it under some post-9/11 law?
ATF487
Member
(10-11-2012, 05:31 AM)
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Originally Posted by TheGrimeyGrimReaper

Stop fucking posting and get help! Seriously go out, socialize, try to make things better, see a therapist, work out, etc. instead of posting "woe is me" threads on a fucking videogame forum.

Didn't get the woe is me vibe at all from this, not sure if this is just substandard trolling or not.

Well, that sure is an interesting week but I think you have a decent attitude about everything. Move on from this and try to improve things
Drugula's Wrath XXX
Banned
(10-11-2012, 05:32 AM)

Originally Posted by Lissar

The entire post was ABOUT how he's now getting help and going to spend more time off GAF. I'm glad he posted because I think more than a few of us were concerned. What's wrong with you?

Good! I've just been seeing a lot of those threads lately and I've jumped the gun on my post, so sorry I guess.
rubius01
Member
(10-11-2012, 05:32 AM)
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Let me add that I'm glad you're back
demosthenes
Member
(10-11-2012, 05:35 AM)
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Woah, sounds crazy, glad to hear you are doing well now.
Solideliquid
Member
(10-11-2012, 05:35 AM)
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Glad you are OK and thank goodness you didn't die after taking 40 klonopins (yikes). I work in the mental health field and I worked in GA for five years. A 1013 is an involuntary commitment to a mental health hospital. So you probably weren't willing to sign yourself into the hospital in your state, which is why they decided to commit you. Could have been worse, some people spend weeks in the mental hospital during this process.
KevinCow
Banned
(10-11-2012, 05:37 AM)
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Originally Posted by Ultima_5

Happy you're still around and things turned out better than expected. you're a good poster and what not... though I'm pretty sure the bolded isn't exactly politically correct

I suppose I could have used a better word, but I did mean that literally. They treated us like we were mentally challenged, not like we were mentally ill.
Jezabel
Member
(10-11-2012, 05:37 AM)
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sounds like a all round shitty situation, but its great to see that you have a positive outlook on things and a awesome sounding family. (your dad sounds amazing)
Bamelin
Banned
(10-11-2012, 05:37 AM)
Thanks for sharing. Will remember you in my prayers tonight. Ignore politically correct GAF they already got slapped down by Evilore in a thread you likely missed this week.
Link
The Autumn Wind
(10-11-2012, 05:40 AM)
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Glad you're ok, dude.

Oh, and Fiction's gone.
brianjones
Member
(10-11-2012, 05:40 AM)
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i wish i could go back to a mental institution

i had a good time there, met some hot girls and got 3 square meals
Atramental
Banned
(10-11-2012, 05:41 AM)
Glad you're getting the help you need, Kevin.

Also, sorry if I came off as a jerk when I suggested that you get banned for 6 months so you could lose some weight and get out and socialize more. At the time I didn't fully realize or understand the severity of your situation.
la flama blanca
Banned
(10-11-2012, 05:41 AM)
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Originally Posted by Ultima_5

Happy you're still around and things turned out better than expected. you're a good poster and what not... though I'm pretty sure the bolded isn't exactly politically correct

I think he meant cunt.
SoulPlaya
more money than God
(10-11-2012, 05:42 AM)
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Originally Posted by Ultima_5

Happy you're still around and things turned out better than expected. you're a good poster and what not... though I'm pretty sure the bolded isn't exactly politically correct

OH NO!!!!
Emitan
Member
(10-11-2012, 05:42 AM)
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Originally Posted by Link

Glad you're ok, dude.

Oh, and Fiction's gone.

I'll make sure she sees this thread.
HiiiLife
Member
(10-11-2012, 05:42 AM)
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Glad you're safe man.
LiK
(10-11-2012, 05:43 AM)
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almost sounded like a movie. hope you're doing okay.
KevinCow
Banned
(10-11-2012, 05:43 AM)
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Originally Posted by Solideliquid

Glad you are OK and thank goodness you didn't die after taking 40 klonopins (yikes). I work in the mental health field and I worked in GA for five years. A 1013 is an involuntary commitment to a mental health hospital. So you probably weren't willing to sign yourself into the hospital in your state, which is why they decided to commit you. Could have been worse, some people spend weeks in the mental hospital during this process.

Yeah, I've had all this 1013, 1014 stuff explained. 1014 is a LIE though. Voluntary my ass. >:(

Also, I technically took more than 40 now that I think of it. Finished off one bottle, noticed it allowed a refill, and went to get it.

I didn't realize that was a "yikes" worthy amount, though. I mean, they didn't pump my stomach or give me charcoal or anything, and I walked just fine out of the house. Maybe I'm just super badass.
Amikami
Member
(10-11-2012, 05:45 AM)
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Crap man. What a week for you indeed. I wasn't even aware of your thing with gaf or anything, but I'm glad to see you're better now.Things seemed to have turned out well in the end.
perfectchaos007
Member
(10-11-2012, 05:58 AM)
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Damn, sounds exactly what my cousin just went through, but he's still in the institution and should be out in a couple weeks. I wont go into detail, but basically two of his best friends died ( both suicides ) in the past 10 months. His mom searched his room last week to find lots of loaded spoons ( either heroin or meth ) ,needles, tabs, the whole lot. It's unknown whether or not he was planning on killing himself, but like you he just wanted the depression to go away. His mom entered him into an institution and he tried to run away from the doctors, don't think he was tazed, but he did resist. Anyway it sounds like he's getting a lot out of it and will be an outpatient in a couple weeks. I hope he pulls through, but congrats to you on pulling through!
Deathmistress
Member
(10-11-2012, 06:02 AM)
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I'm sorry for your tough time, hang in there . It takes a lot of time and effort to get past real mental health issues, and sometimes you do feel truly "disabled," but pushing through it is completely worth it. Never give up on the process, even when all you want to do is stop fighting so hard. Every day is a new opportunity to live a better, fuller, and more sane life. Best of luck in your journey.
windz
Member
(10-11-2012, 06:07 AM)
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Tough times. Keep your head up, do your best, and if it falters, bounce back and keep going forward. Glad you're doing well. :)
ZROCOOL
aka II VerTigo II
(10-11-2012, 06:09 AM)
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Damn what a week! Glad you're ok man.
Finaika
Member
(10-11-2012, 06:10 AM)
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Glad to see a fellow Depressed GAF is ok :)
Jacob
Member
(10-11-2012, 06:19 AM)
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I don't think we've ever really met but I'm glad you're doing better, Kevin. It's a shitty situation of course but you seem to have a good sense of your priorities at this point which is more than I could say when I got out of the hospital.

Originally Posted by Ultima_5

Happy you're still around and things turned out better than expected. you're a good poster and what not... though I'm pretty sure the bolded isn't exactly politically correct

His description is completely accurate regarding the treatment of patients in adolescent mental hospitals (some of them, at least).
shira
Member
(10-11-2012, 06:20 AM)
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glad you are back with us
EatinOlives
Harass A Bull?
Report to HR.
(10-11-2012, 06:22 AM)
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Originally Posted by KevinCow

But I'll be damned if it didn't take every ounce of energy to keep my sanity throughout that ordeal. Having them take my clothes and throw some sort of weird new age straightjacket thing on me? It was basically a really thick tarp with velcro and arm holes. Actually, kinda like a longer version of the vest Bane wears in TDKR. I didn't even have underwear on, so everything down there was completely exposed if I so much as leaned in the wrong way.

See, this is the kind of bullshit that drives me up the wall. Zero context or fucks given for the arrested person. Guy has nervous breakdown in hospital and charges are idiotically pressed? Nope, not giving a fuck. Strip him down and give him only a straight jacket to wear. That's TOTES not counterproductive at all.

The fuck is the purpose of this shit if it's only going to make things worse?
User 100115
Banned
(10-11-2012, 06:24 AM)
I know I said I wasn't going to post here anymore, but this sort of thing takes precedence over my feelings being hurt.

Kevin, I am so, so glad that the institution wasn't the hell hole you remembered. I am so glad that I contacted your mom, even though I agonized over it because of said memories. You are a hell of a guy to have gone through all of that and come out the other side better for it.

But I am really, really sorry I inadvertently got you arrested. If you need to, please yell at me for that. Also, what the actual fuck that the hospital called the cops over that. Jerks.

I will always be there if you need to rant, or chat, or bs. I am so glad you are okay.
Last edited by User 100115; 10-11-2012 at 06:28 AM.
NotTheGuyYouKill
(10-11-2012, 06:25 AM)
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Good news, dude.
BadAss2961
Member
(10-11-2012, 06:27 AM)
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Originally Posted by Atramental

Glad you're getting the help you need, Kevin.

Also, sorry if I came off as a jerk when I suggested that you get banned for 6 months so you could lose some weight and get out and socialize more. At the time I didn't fully realize or understand the severity of your situation.

I didn't see this, but man, that sounds so bad even in retrospect. lol

Good luck, Kev.

Originally Posted by Fiction

I know I said I wasn't going to post here anymore

Why?
Last edited by BadAss2961; 10-11-2012 at 06:31 AM.
User 100115
Banned
(10-11-2012, 06:33 AM)

Originally Posted by LeBrick James

I didn't see this, but man, that sounds so bad even in retrospect. lol

Good luck, Kev. Why?


It's a long story that I am not going to derail Kevin's thread with :)
NotTheGuyYouKill
(10-11-2012, 06:34 AM)
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Originally Posted by Fiction

I know I said I wasn't going to post here anymore, but this sort of thing takes precedence over my feelings being hurt.

Kevin, I am so, so glad that the institution wasn't the hell hole you remembered. I am so glad that I contacted your mom, even though I agonized over it because of said memories. You are a hell of a guy to have gone through all of that and come out the other side better for it.

But I am really, really sorry I inadvertently got you arrested. If you need to, please yell at me for that. Also, what the actual fuck that the hospital called the cops over that. Jerks.

I will always be there if you need to rant, or chat, or bs. I am so glad you are okay.

Nooo, you can't go. You're too cool.

After this story, you deserve a tag:

Fiction
Got a GAFer arrested and institutionalized


So Kevin, now that you're out, what's the plan? Where do you go from here? Got some sort of schedule?
Schadenfreude
Member
(10-11-2012, 06:35 AM)
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Your post kinda made me think Catcher in the Rye. Anywho, good luck with everything, OP. Hope everything works out for you.
User 100115
Banned
(10-11-2012, 06:53 AM)

Originally Posted by NotTheGuyYouKill

Nooo, you can't go. You're too cool.

After this story, you deserve a tag:

Fiction
Got a GAFer arrested and institutionalized


So Kevin, now that you're out, what's the plan? Where do you go from here? Got some sort of schedule?

I am likely going to come back, since this forum allowed me to meet and help Kevin. And get him arrested. Small steps! >.<

What's that over my own personal hang ups?

But again, not derailing this thread.
squidyj
Member
(10-11-2012, 07:05 AM)
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Well this is an interesting and mostly pleasant turn of events.
H.Protagonist
[-_-]/
(10-11-2012, 07:10 AM)
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Good to hear the time away helped a bit. I hope to see your next thread in OT being all about the cool stuff you're doing now that you're getting help. Good luck, Kevin!
Yagharek
Member
(10-11-2012, 07:13 AM)
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I love how lucid and rational Mr Cow seems in the OP whilst recounting the events. You are a damn good writer.

Must've been an incredibly hectic week. Hopefully you get all this sorted out soon and get back into a settled and happy routine.
Foxy Fox 39
Banned
(10-11-2012, 07:14 AM)
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Thats quite the story you got there. Glad youre ok. Pills and alcohol couldve stopped your heart.

Maybe I missed it but what country do you live in?
coldvein
Banned
(10-11-2012, 07:19 AM)
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god damn what a story. glad youre okay dude. i got my pants taken off in jail once too it sucks.
RatskyWatsky
Hunky Nostradamus
(10-11-2012, 07:24 AM)
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I'm glad that you're okay KevinCow!

Originally Posted by coldvein

god damn what a story. glad youre okay dude. i got my pants taken off in jail once too it sucks.

Why did they take off your pants?

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