Too bad she is getting treated like this.
This. So much. It's disgusting that people have this 'Oh, she stays, so it's her fault' mentality. Abusers groom the SHIT out of their victims before the physical abuse even starts.What?! You lose all sympathy when an abuse victim is afraid to leave a relationship? Do you know how an abusive relationship works? The abuser fucks with your mental state and makes their victim feel powerless, helpless, and incapable of escape. Even worse, some victims' self esteem gets so destroyed that they think they deserve to be abused. It's a constant state of trying to appease their abuser and, when that doesn't work, rationalizing the violence with self-blame.
I really hope I'm misunderstanding your statements, otherwise that's an incredibly ignorant and loathsome thing to say.
Okay, I swear I'll stop editing after this but fucking seriously? "why do women do this shit"?! How about you ask why the fuck her husband has his hands around her neck. You're right, she's totally asking for more. Nailed it, genius.
Yeah... I would have to agree with that.Now there are fears of severe problems in their 10-year marriage – his third and her second.
Hold up.... Nigella is 53? Wow... not gunna lie, was surprised with this one. Kind of gross that she's nearly as old as my Mom.Four times he grasped her around the neck with Nigella, 53, looking powerless and petrified.
Would.
Well, you're right, but what he described was a robbery scam, not an actual abusive relationship.Originally Posted by entrement
Yep. Battered woman syndrome is some fucked up thing. I've intervened before for a woman I knew, not physically, but telling them to get the fuck out of the relationship, but then come the rationalizing.
This bothers the hell out of me. If i saw someone doing this, I would get over there in a heartbeat, nigella or not. Big, small, young, old it doesnt matter. That is not the way you treat anyone, let alone your fucking wife.Originally Posted by Deified Data
And no one did anything about it. Fuck them.
I might have given him a chance after the first time, but seeing him do it a 2nd or 3rd or 4th time i might have just gone straight up jive turkey and cold cock a nigga with no warning. The whole situation is bullshit and i am disgusted at the onlookers who did nothing.
It's the Bystander Effect... It happens fucking everywhere. Even with a ton of people here saying they would do something, the likelihood that they actually would when in that situation, is pretty low.Originally Posted by Deified Data
And no one did anything about it. Fuck them.
Now I understand your feelings but that would be considered a assault(aggravated maybe?) or battery(I think).. might also be different where I live..... LawGAF help me out with this, I'm not exactly sure here.Originally Posted by Onion_Relish
This bothers the hell out of me. If i saw someone doing this, I would get over there in a heartbeat, nigella or not. Big, small, young, old it doesnt matter. That is not the way you treat anyone, let alone your fucking wife.
I might have given him a chance after the first time, but seeing him do it a 2nd or 3rd or 4th time i might have just gone straight up jive turkey and cold cock a nigga with no warning. The whole situation is bullshit and i am disgusted at the onlookers who did nothing.
My usual response to violent attacks that I've witnessed are 3 steps(Although thankfully never had to do the 3rd step, don't know how I'd respond either).
1. I approach them saying "this has to stop NOW"(Usually saying I notified the police).
2. I try to reason with them while remain assertive about how bad the situation can be for them(if needed make verbal threats, although bad but the situation could deem it) and I try not always successfully to get as much detail as I can possible get from the aggressor. (Shirt colour, markings...whatever)
3. and finally only if 1 and 2 aren't an option(Someone is in imminent danger of death) I respond with physical force.
...
Easy to say when you're sitting at home in front of your computer.Originally Posted by LuchaShaq
I don't care if she was the ugliest man or woman on earth, that restaurant is full of fucking cowards. How can you see that and not step in.
I'd like to think that I'd do something, but unless I was prepared, I'd probably be too shocked by the situation to react in time.
Yeah, she's insanely hot for her age. That's what eating giant chocolate cakes and stuff does to you apparently...wait what.Hold up.... Nigella is 53? Wow... not gunna lie, was surprised with this one. Kind of gross that she's nearly as old as my Mom.
Would.
I remember this picture making the rounds a couple of years ago, it's still funny.
How could anyone harm something so beautiful? :(
Oh yeah I understand 100% where you are coming from. 99% I would be over there step 1 and it wouldn't result in that (just the kind of person I am, i'm not afraid to knock on someones door and let them know their car window is open when it's raining or help my neighbour to install his fence [which was actually 2 days ago]). But something tells me the police wouldn't be all that upset about me blasting off on someone when there would be 10 witnesses saying that this man was choking his wife.Now I understand your feelings but that would be considered a assault(aggravated maybe?) or battery(I think).. might also be different where I live..... LawGAF help me out with this, I'm not exactly sure here.
Not the most elegant solution and not a guarantee of course as it is still considered assault. But protecting someone is worth the price.
Originally Posted by scar tissue
Easy to say when you're sitting at home in front of your computer.
I'd like to think that I'd do something, but unless I was prepared, I'd probably be too shocked by the situation to react in time.
I wouldn't want to piss off a crazy billionaire. They're kinda...above the law.
True but never forget your priorities to yourself, now I know thats not a trendy topic here in NeoGAF but you'd probably be helping more people out if you yourself don't get tangled in a situation even if you're doing the right thing.Originally Posted by Onion_Relish
Oh yeah I understand 100% where you are coming from. 99% I would be over there step 1 and it wouldn't result in that (just the kind of person I am, i'm not afraid to knock on someones door and let them know their car window is open when it's raining or help my neighbour to install his fence [which was actually 2 days ago]). But something tells me the police wouldn't be all that upset about me blasting off on someone when there would be 10 witnesses saying that this man was choking his wife.
Not the most elegant solution and not a guarantee of course as it is still considered assault. But protecting someone is worth the price.
and I tip my hat to you for helping install a fence, from my experience that shit is tiring work.
If it is abuse, and not the tabloid showing something that isn't there (which happens), it could have been anything. She could have looked bored for all we know. Sorta how abuse works, it happens for stupid reasons no matter how hard the victim tries to 'be good'Originally Posted by Dark Octave
I'm not condoning his abuse, but I wonder what she did to him to cause him to react this way.
To be fair, the guy had a lot of the stuff done in advance, but I did go out of my way to help him finish the job just as i was walking by on my way home. Keep in mind this is a perfect stranger though.True but never forget your priorities to yourself, now I know thats not a trendy topic here in NeoGAF but you'd probably be helping more people out if you yourself don't get tangled in a situation even if you're doing the right thing.
and I tip my hat to you for helping install a fence, from my experience that shit is tiring work.
is giving someone the sleeper hold considered assault? i bet i could give him the cobra clutch and then maybe a ric flair knife edge chop while screaming "WWWOOOOOO". The police can't say anything because wrestling isn't real hyuck hyuck.
Guys like this deserve the worse kind of torture...
Goddamn.That reminds me that a friend of mine in Bournemouth once saw a guy having a huge argument with his girlfriend, ending with him punching her in the stomach and storming off. My friend went over to help her out and she said she just wanted to go home. So my buddy tries to help this winded woman to the bus stop, she stops, doubled over in pain. My friend turns to her to see if she's OK and she just kicked him straight in the nuts. At that point, the boyfriend who was hiding down an alleyway with his friends all jump him with the girl joining in for good measure, give him the beating of a lifetime and stealing his wallet. Three broken ribs, two black eyes, sore bollocks and a concussion for his troubles.
So, yeah, be careful if you're going to go white knighting drunken maidens on a night out.
So the idea was just to rob him? Quite the elaborate plan.
I'm saying that when this guy threatens her if she talks about leaving, he has the power to do it. Unlike your average joe this guy has the power to fuck her life up good and he doesn't have to be within a 1,000 miles of her to do so.You know she makes millions on tv shows and books, right?
Maybe she just got sick? Pictures like that can be massively taken out of context.
Well at least i hope so ..
I still dont know why I should have sympathy. Maybe if it was a teen girl getting abused by her boyfriend. Or a mother whos stuck in an abusive marriage for the sake of her kids. Or that story of muslim wives who are forbidden by their churches to have a divorce. Those I have sympathy for.What?! You lose all sympathy when an abuse victim is afraid to leave a relationship? Do you know how an abusive relationship works? The abuser fucks with your mental state and makes their victim feel powerless, helpless, and incapable of escape. Even worse, some victims' self esteem gets so destroyed that they think they deserve to be abused. It's a constant state of trying to appease their abuser and, when that doesn't work, rationalizing the violence with self-blame.
I really hope I'm misunderstanding your statements, otherwise that's an incredibly ignorant and loathsome thing to say.
Okay, I swear I'll stop editing after this but fucking seriously? "why do women do this shit"?! How about you ask why the fuck her husband has his hands around her neck. You're right, she's totally asking for more. Nailed it, genius.
This is supposed to be a grown women who can have a pretty cozy life without a man. If it was a 53 year old guy getting abused by his wife most people would probably laugh at it and make a movie called Norbit.
You are not understanding the amount of brain washing that goes into any sort of abuse. Escape is impossible in their minds.I still dont know why I should have sympathy. Maybe if it was teen girls getting abused by her boyfriend. Or a mother whos stuck in an abusive marriage for the sake of her kids. Or that story of muslim wives who are forbidden by their churches to have a divorce. Those I have sympathy for.
This is supposed to be a grown women who can have a pretty cozy wife without a man. If it was a 53 year old guy getting abused by his wife most people would probably laugh at it and make a movie called Norbit.
Also, I find it kinda odd that you talk about having no sympathy for grown women being abused but in the same breath lament the public's lack of sympathy for grown male abuse victims.
unless we're taking this wildly out of context.
No comments. They left their home separately this morning, Nigella with a suitcase. But that doesn't mean much, she travels a lot.Did they comment on the pictures? I mean it kinda looks like he is not actually choking her but feeling her glands or whatever. In one picture she is holding hands with him while he has one hand on her neck. That does not look like a thing you would do.
Maybe she just got sick? Pictures like that can be massively taken out of context.
Well at least i hope so ..
There are other photos here of previous rows though none are quite as physical as this one appears to have been: http://www.*****************/news/ar...s-Saatchi.html
Though one shows Saatchi with his hand over her mouth. Though that could more easily be an out of context, 'playfulness'.
She has referred to their 'fiery rows' before.
edit - oh, the daily fail has been banned. That's actually kind of good, haha. But anyway, their report has details.
Nothing's worse than a man attacking a woman.
I am always weary of assuming that the anonymous mass known as "people" are a giant seething mass of stupidity while I (and a select few of my closest friends) are the only ones capable of making the obvious, rational, clear choices.Or just weak, no account people.
Generally speaking if almost everyone does X in a certain situation, it isn't because they are weaklings while only you are strong and intelligent, and if you were there you totally would have done Y. More likely, some significant psychosocial phenomena is at work that you are also influenced by, as you are not a special snowflake (nor am I).
Oh, and this is horrible and stuff.
She should call Bourdain over to fuck him up.
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