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Zeitgeister
Member
(08-25-2013, 09:30 PM)
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Some extended quotes from the slate article (if this is a bit too much, feel free to mod it to proper size):

Once social and upbeat, I became morose and mildly paranoid. I knew I needed to connect to people to feel better, but I felt as though I physically could not handle any more empty interactions. I woke up in the night panicked. In the afternoon, loneliness came in waves like a fever. I had no idea how to fix it.

Feeling uncertain, I began to research loneliness and came across several alarming recent studies. Loneliness is not just making us sick, it is killing us. Loneliness is a serious health risk. Studies of elderly people and social isolation concluded that those without adequate social interaction were twice as likely to die prematurely.

The increased mortality risk is comparable to that from smoking. And loneliness is about twice as dangerous as obesity.

(...)

“Admitting you are lonely is like holding a big L up on your forehead,” says John T. Cacioppo of the University of Chicago, who studies how loneliness and social isolation affect people’s health.

He admitted that on an airplane he once became acutely embarrassed while holding a copy of his own book, which had the word Loneliness emblazoned on the front cover. He had the impulse to turn the cover inside-out so that people couldn’t see it. “For the first time I actually experienced the feeling of being lonely and everyone knowing it,” he says.

More at the link:

http://www.slate.com/articles/health...n_obesity.html

Now this is not new information on life expectancy, but it does raise on enormously interesting point: why IS loneliness stigmatized?

Topic at the request of Depression gaf, so don't be a dick.
Madness
Member
(08-25-2013, 09:33 PM)
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Humans, much like other mammals are social creatures so it's not really surprising.
ComputerMKII
Member
(08-25-2013, 09:33 PM)
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I'm suddenly very worried.
Mumei
'Wait and Hope'
(08-25-2013, 09:33 PM)
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We're all going to die.
sk3
Member
(08-25-2013, 09:34 PM)
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Oh well.
Sorian
Member
(08-25-2013, 09:35 PM)
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Hold me so I don't die from isolation

Edit: Damn it, saw the don't be a dick at the end of the OP and felt compelled to be serious. It really just comes down to the fact that mammals are social creatures. They evolved to be that way and it is most evident in the parental desire to raise young. That is a mechanism on their side because the mechanism on the child's side is craving touch, attention, and love. This continues all through life. An adult needs just as much attention as a baby does. You don't stop needing food when you grow up just like you don't stop needing love.
Last edited by Sorian; 08-25-2013 at 09:37 PM.
daycru
Member
(08-25-2013, 09:35 PM)
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Sick of my tax dollars going toward healthcare for these lonelies.
shadyspace
Banned
(08-25-2013, 09:35 PM)
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I have a girlfriend but neither have any friends and spend all our time together. Am I going to be okay.
Opiate
Depressingly Realistic
(08-25-2013, 09:35 PM)
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Originally Posted by Mumei

We're all going to die.

Not if we rebalance our vibrational energies.
Lord Ghirahim
Member
(08-25-2013, 09:37 PM)
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Make a tulpa friend.
ComputerMKII
Member
(08-25-2013, 09:37 PM)
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Originally Posted by Mumei

We're all going to die.

Mumei
'Wait and Hope'
Bam Bam Baklava
Member
(08-25-2013, 09:38 PM)
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Originally Posted by shadyspace

I have a girlfriend but neither have any friends and spend all our time together. Am I going to be okay.

You're in a dangerous place. Could die any moment.
Rhomega Beta
Member
(08-25-2013, 09:39 PM)
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I am already dead.
CountAntonius
Member
(08-25-2013, 09:40 PM)
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Does GAF and online gaming count as social interaction? What if I play using a headset? Guys...guys?
MisterHero
Super Member
(08-25-2013, 09:41 PM)
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It's a silent killer, and yet also rotund and vicious.
Aureon
Member
(08-25-2013, 09:41 PM)
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don't worry too much, over-the-internet social interaction probably counts

probably
Crayons
Member
(08-25-2013, 09:41 PM)
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The government needs to make sure everyone has a boyfriend or girlfriend in order to ensure the health of it's people.
Lactose_Intolerant
Member
(08-25-2013, 09:42 PM)
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Originally Posted by CountAntonius

Does GAF and online gaming count as social interaction? What if I play using a headset? Guys...guys?

it is probably better than nothing. Hopefully. BibleThump
Zeitgeister
Member
(08-25-2013, 09:46 PM)
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Originally Posted by Mumei

We're all going to die.

eventually.

But that's not the point. The author's point is the well known and empirically supported finding that both social isolation decreases life expectancy, as well as a higher quality social life increasing life expectancy.
That last part is the final chapter -if I remember correctly- of Malcolm Galdwell's The Tipping Point, published in 2000.

But the real question should be the one raised in the article: why are social isolation and depression even stigmatized to begin with? What is gained from ignoring it?

The thing is that when we talk about babies, people can't wait to tell you that you need to show affection or else..., which goes to the biological need for affection. Yet if it's not about babies, we don't care? It's very odd in terms of moral claims.

edit: oh, missed the joke. Whoops.

Originally Posted by Opiate

Not if we rebalance our vibrational energies.

Originally Posted by Lord Ghirahim

Make a tulpa friend.

not that kind of thread. Apologies if it came off "too strong" since I forgot to add "Slate: " to the title. -_-'
Last edited by Zeitgeister; 08-25-2013 at 09:54 PM.
kerotan_eater
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(08-25-2013, 09:48 PM)
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Originally Posted by shadyspace

I have a girlfriend but neither have any friends and spend all our time together. Am I going to be okay.

Depends. Are you mostly satisfied with that set up for now?
gerg
Member
(08-25-2013, 09:49 PM)
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Originally Posted by CountAntonius

Does GAF and online gaming count as social interaction? What if I play using a headset? Guys...guys?

There is of course a limit to how much you can generaise, but I think it fair to say that online interaction is great if it is used as an addition for real-life interaction that you would have, and not as a supplement for it.

As I posted in another thread, there was a TED talk posted a year back about the oddly inverse relationship between online interaction and loneliness: http://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turk..._together.html. There is a depth to real-life social interaction that can be lost through online media.
Kurtofan
Member
(08-25-2013, 09:50 PM)
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Do video games count
gryz
Banned
(08-25-2013, 09:52 PM)
someone better post this in that virgin thread
nubbe
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(08-25-2013, 09:52 PM)
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Netflix is my waifu
SaskBoy
Member
(08-25-2013, 09:54 PM)
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I have GAF, I'll live FOREVER!
Derwind
Member
(08-25-2013, 09:57 PM)
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Originally Posted by SaskBoy

I have GAF, I'll live FOREVER!

This man knows.

But fuck, my situation is kind of shitty, my social life has been severely altered because of where I live now. I can't wait till I gtfo and go back to school in January.
Bomber Bob
Member
(08-25-2013, 09:58 PM)
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Originally Posted by shadyspace

Am I going to be okay.

until she founds a new dick
Trent Strong
Has a $20,000 pair of lederhosen he won in a game of Parcheesi.
(08-25-2013, 09:58 PM)
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Guess I'll be dead soon then. I sometimes go weeks without speaking to another person.
Don'tBeWeird
Member
(08-25-2013, 09:58 PM)
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Happiness only real when shared.
LiquidMetal14
hide your water-based mammals
(08-25-2013, 09:59 PM)
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Originally Posted by nubbe

Netflix is my waifu

Sing it loud, sing it proud.
gerg
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(08-25-2013, 09:59 PM)
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Originally Posted by Zeitgeister

But the real question should be the one raised in the article: why are social isolation and depression even stigmatized to begin with? What is gained from ignoring it?

I'd love to have someone post some links that discuss the matter more deeply, but I would fathom that what makes them easy to stigmatise is that they're "invisible" sufferings. For a long time I think I felt grossly insecure, without anyone around me noticing - in fact, because I had so low self-esteem, I would act only more confident in social situations, which made it even harder for anyone to consider that I was actually very down. As Stephen Fry writes, you can be one of the most popular people in the world and still feel lonely.

I think part of the situation also is then that you're dealing with other people's expectations, and concern that they may not believe you if you tell them that you do have a mental illness. If you're physically handicapped, show people a missing limb and they're likely to understand why. There's no real way that you can "show" people that you're depressed or lonely, hence the ridicule that ME often receives as a condition.
IceCold
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(08-25-2013, 09:59 PM)
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Originally Posted by Trent Strong

Guess I'll be dead soon then. I sometimes go weeks without speaking to another person.

How? I don't even understand how that's possible.
MrPing1000
Member
(08-25-2013, 09:59 PM)
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I'm socially isolated and obese.

Horseticuffs
Member
(08-25-2013, 10:00 PM)
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After my marriage went to the shitter my only friends were gaf and podcasts and that worked. It certainly wasn't ideal but I don't know WHERE I'd be without podcasts to be my friends :(


Christ that's pathetic sounding.
Citizen Mane
Junior Member
(08-25-2013, 10:01 PM)
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Buy a dog :3
Thorakai
Member
(08-25-2013, 10:01 PM)
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does my mom count
gutter_trash
(08-25-2013, 10:02 PM)
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having a tightly net family helps allot during times of single-dom.

The main reason why I haven't moved town or opted to work anywhere else. I feel the need still live in close proximity to my siblings and parents
grumpy
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(08-25-2013, 10:03 PM)
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Does spying people on facebook with a fake profile count?
Fari
Member
(08-25-2013, 10:03 PM)
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"My loneliness is killing me"

Britney Spears
Pau
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(08-25-2013, 10:06 PM)
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Originally Posted by Zeitgeister

But the real question should be the one raised in the article: why are social isolation and depression even stigmatized to begin with? What is gained from ignoring it?

The thing is that when we talk about babies, people can't wait to tell you that you need to show affection or else..., which goes to the biological need for affection. Yet if it's not about babies, we don't care? It's very odd in terms of moral claims.

My guess is that humans are naturally very social animals, and it's assumed that we're all born with the right tools and abilities to socialize with others. So it's easy for others to stigmatize those who can't (because of a variety of factors - depression being one of them) as being somewhat broken.

Socializing is very much a learned thing though. Especially socializing in modern times. Ironically, it's probably a lot easier to feel socially isolated today even though you have access to so many more people than it was when you were forced to heavily socialize with your family and town and didn't have much options for anything beyond that. Although, such studies were never done before now, so maybe it's not a new thing.
braves01
Junior Member
(08-25-2013, 10:06 PM)
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It's not loneliness, it's solitude dammit. *be stron, dont cry*
Trent Strong
Has a $20,000 pair of lederhosen he won in a game of Parcheesi.
(08-25-2013, 10:07 PM)
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Originally Posted by IceCold

How? I don't even understand how that's possible.

My job doesn't require me to spark to anyone but my boss, and she only needs to ask me a question once in a great while.
Ghost_Protocol
Member
(08-25-2013, 10:07 PM)
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Never felt lonely once in my entire life until I graduated from college, got a full time job, and moved out of my parents house. When you're constantly surrounded by people your own age for at least 40 hours a week from elementary school through college, and then suddenly you aren't anymore, it feels like a punch in the gut (at least it did for me). It's way harder to build relationships with people you don't (and can't) spend even close to that much time with anymore.

For example, you meet someone in passing, out shopping, at a football game, whatever......you have approximately the length of that interaction to make a connection, or you will probably never see them again. Doesn't matter if you're trying to be friends with someone or trying to date them. It's harsh, and I wish it was something someone told me. First impressions turn into only impressions when you get older, unfortunately.

If you're a naturally social person, then you'll probably be ok regardless, but if you aren't, meeting people only gets harder (way harder) as you get older.
kozmo7
Truly deserves to shoot laserbeams from his eyes
(08-25-2013, 10:09 PM)
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Originally Posted by Horseticuffs

After my marriage went to the shitter my only friends were gaf and podcasts and that worked. It certainly wasn't ideal but I don't know WHERE I'd be without podcasts to be my friends :(


Christ that's pathetic sounding.

I've got a similar but different story so don't worry about it. I guess we're all just fucked.
Kazerei
(08-25-2013, 10:10 PM)
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Guess I'm gonna die young
Crayons
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(08-25-2013, 10:12 PM)
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Originally Posted by Trent Strong

My job doesn't require me to spark to anyone but my boss, and she only needs to ask me a question once in a great while.

You spark to your boss? Tell us more.
Beysus
Member
(08-25-2013, 10:12 PM)
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Originally Posted by Fari

"My loneliness is killing me"

Britney Spears

Truly the brightest philosopher of our time

Kincaido
Got 99 problems and only one of them is a waifu
(08-25-2013, 10:13 PM)
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Originally Posted by Citizen Mane

Buy a dog :3

You will be super depressed when it dies though ;_;
diamount
Banned
(08-25-2013, 10:14 PM)
Gotta feel for the elderly who have no relatives. At least in homes they can interact with each other.
xbhaskarx
(08-25-2013, 10:18 PM)
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Originally Posted by Kurtofan

Do video games count

I hope not because I died in a video game just today. Fuck!!

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