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mocoworm
ignore my opinion
on everything ever
(11-29-2013, 12:46 PM)
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Bad times.

http://www.eurogamer.net/articles/20...-within-review

Originally Posted by Eurogamer

There are so many things wrong with Fighter Within it's impossible to keep count. The first thing you notice is the gesture recognition. Kinect struggles to comprehend the most basic of hand movements. Performing simple actions requires gargantuan amounts of perseverance and luck, and frequently leaves you frustrated, furious and exhausted. And that's just the menu screens.

Issues occur the minute there is any attempt to perform more complex moves such as throws, combos and counters. Sometimes you can pick up a pole to unleash a "Stick Attack". There's some nonsense about building up your "Ki" meter, which is achieved by standing still with your arms out. Ki can be unleashed to powerful effect, theoretically.

The problem is it's impossible to perform the majority of these moves deliberately. Pulling one off always feels like the result of luck rather than skill. It's as if the Kinect can't cope with complex manoeuvres, so the game chucks in special stuff at random to create the illusion of layers of complexity. There are layers in a s*** sandwich, but it's still a s*** sandwich.

Ubisoft should be ashamed of itself for trying to peddle more of this nonsense. And Microsoft needs its giant cyborg head examined for thinking this is a great way to show off the capabilities of its new hardware. It's like Tampax launching an ad campaign fronted by Danny Dyer.

Which brings us to a total of at least 18 things, plus about seven thousand more I've forgotten to mention. I can't be bothered to count them all up, so let's just finish with a nice round number.

1/10

Last edited by mocoworm; 11-29-2013 at 12:49 PM.
Hasney
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(11-29-2013, 12:47 PM)
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It's like Tampax launching an ad campaign fronted by Danny Dyer.

I laughed
Xater
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(11-29-2013, 12:48 PM)
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Well from what I have seen of the game it certainly looks like a 1/10. Not that surprising.
Exterminieren
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(11-29-2013, 12:49 PM)
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That feeling persists even when playing against a human opponent. "Brawling with your friends will never feel the same!", promises the back of the box. This at least is true, unless you and your friends' concept of brawling involves standing side-by-side and flailing about like a pair of camp kittens trying to climb a wall of butter.

Bwahaha
dapperbandit
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(11-29-2013, 12:49 PM)
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A kinect based fighting game is bad?

You don't say!
Hasney
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(11-29-2013, 12:50 PM)
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Originally Posted by Eurogamer

So that's at least seven other things. Here's one more: the dialogue. Sample:

"I gotta run... Someone's waiting for me."

"Yeah... My knuckles."

Brilliant. I have to play this one day.
Custard Trout
Junior Member
(11-29-2013, 12:50 PM)
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At the start of the game:
"Someone is waiting for me"
"Yeah my knuckles"

I haven't got past that bit.
Auto_aim1
MeisaMcCaffrey
(11-29-2013, 12:50 PM)
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They gave Ellie another crappy game to review. :(
Kenshin001
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(11-29-2013, 12:51 PM)
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And Microsoft needs its giant cyborg head examined for thinking this is a great way to show off the capabilities of its new hardware.

Knew it was Ellie as soon as I read this. Review is hilarious.
Last edited by Kenshin001; 11-29-2013 at 12:53 PM.
Hoo-doo
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(11-29-2013, 12:51 PM)
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In other news, the Giantbomb quicklook will be glorious.
Currygan
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(11-29-2013, 12:51 PM)
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having a flashback of that gif about a family playing kinect
Xater
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(11-29-2013, 12:52 PM)
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Originally Posted by Hoo-doo

In other news, the Giantbomb quicklook will be glorious.

They already played it on the live stream.
amardilo
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(11-29-2013, 12:53 PM)
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I remember reading an interview with someone at Ubisoft and they said they had their own Kinect libraries/code on the 360.

Does anyone think they are still using their own code and not the ones developed MS for the Xbox One? If they are using the Xbox One APIs/libraries/code then that doesn't sound good for motion games that use Kinect.
shink
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(11-29-2013, 12:53 PM)
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On the plus side there was a one in the score.
Captain Tuttle
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(11-29-2013, 12:54 PM)
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Never heard of this game.

Man, for being so integral to the Xbox One experience MS sure shipped the thing half-baked.
maquiladora
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(11-29-2013, 12:54 PM)
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That is brutal.
FluxWaveZ
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(11-29-2013, 12:54 PM)
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Originally Posted by Hoo-doo

In other news, the Giantbomb quicklook will be glorious.

daxgame
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(11-29-2013, 12:54 PM)
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lol
is this a record or something
D-e-f-
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(11-29-2013, 12:55 PM)
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Originally Posted by Hoo-doo

In other news, the Giantbomb quicklook will be glorious.

It will hit us right in the genital triangle.
mocoworm
ignore my opinion
on everything ever
(11-29-2013, 12:56 PM)
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How can the people who create and test this game not think, '... this is a piece of shit' ?
NinjaBoiX
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(11-29-2013, 12:56 PM)
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I love EG reviews. Well written, honest and amusing.

Oh and yeah, game looks like hot garbage.
Footos22
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(11-29-2013, 12:56 PM)
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Lol games so bad, he cant even be bothered to review it properly by sounds of it.


hilarious review.
Xater
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(11-29-2013, 12:56 PM)
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Originally Posted by mocoworm

How can the people who create and test this game not think, '... this is a piece of shit' ?

They probably know, but they got payed anyway.
Mihael Mello Keehl
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(11-29-2013, 12:57 PM)
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What did the 1 come from? Sound, graphics?
mocoworm
ignore my opinion
on everything ever
(11-29-2013, 12:57 PM)
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Originally Posted by Xater

They probably know, but they got payed anyway.

Yeah, but it's their portfolio, their careers. Ubisoft will probably fire them.
Raist
(11-29-2013, 12:58 PM)

It's as if the Kinect can't cope with complex manoeuvres

Well, I didn't see this coming!
NeoGash
Junior Member
(11-29-2013, 12:59 PM)
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Pffft, who cares? Euro who? They are bias anyway. They obviously didn't understand the game.
mclem
Member
(11-29-2013, 12:59 PM)
I like Eurogamer's review taglines. A little, often punny statement giving a pithy one-liner impression of the game. Not to be taken alone, but it absolutely sets the mood.

This review's tag:

J**** f***ing wept.

Says it all, really.
Xater
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(11-29-2013, 12:59 PM)
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Originally Posted by mocoworm

Yeah, but it's their portfolio, their careers. Ubisoft will probably fire them.

Ubisoft probably didn't give them enough time and money. That's how a lot of bad games turn out bad.
FunkyPajamas
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(11-29-2013, 01:00 PM)
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Originally Posted by Xater

They probably know, but they got payed anyway.

They deserve it.
Kysen
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(11-29-2013, 01:01 PM)
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IGNs' review is just as scathing, putting that Kinect in the box isn't looking so hot right now.
iJudged
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(11-29-2013, 01:01 PM)
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Lmaoooooo, that's what happens when y
Infinite Ammo
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(11-29-2013, 01:01 PM)
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Hoo-doo
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(11-29-2013, 01:02 PM)
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Originally Posted by Kysen

IGNs' review is just as scathing, putting that Kinect in the box isn't looking so hot right now.

Don't worry. It'll be gone by this time next year.

Guaran-fucking-teed.
derFeef
lil' bit tasty
(11-29-2013, 01:03 PM)
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Originally Posted by Kysen

IGNs' review is just as scathing, putting that Kinect in the box isn't looking so hot right now.

Man, all those peeps who preordered the One because of this game, MAN!

Bad Game <> Bad Kinect
mclem
Member
(11-29-2013, 01:03 PM)

Originally Posted by Auto_aim1

They gave Ellie another crappy game to review. :(

On the one hand, I feel she deserves a break.

On the other, she's so good at it.
Sinfamy
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(11-29-2013, 01:04 PM)
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MFW people still believe Kinect is truly improved and allows for 1:1
NinjaBoiX
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(11-29-2013, 01:04 PM)
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Originally Posted by mclem

I like Eurogamer's review taglines. A little, often punny statement giving a pithy one-liner impression of the game.

There have been some classics recently:

Knack - wretched and clunky

PvZ2 - stems sell (micro-transactions up the wazoo)

Zoo Tychoon - Rhino Crisis

Dead Rising 3 - edible complex
JawzPause
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(11-29-2013, 01:05 PM)
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Expected
derFeef
lil' bit tasty
(11-29-2013, 01:06 PM)
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Originally Posted by Sinfamy


MFW people still believe Kinect is truly improved and allows for 1:1

Exactly what we can extrapolate from that, sure.
Ignoring all the other thing that works good, like KSR or even BF4, but hey, ololol!
Taurus
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(11-29-2013, 01:10 PM)
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Originally Posted by Sinfamy


MFW people still believe Kinect is truly improved and allows for 1:1

Likea lean in BF4? lol lol lol right?
GrizzleBoy
Member
(11-29-2013, 01:11 PM)

Originally Posted by Auto_aim1

They gave Ellie another crappy game to review. :(

She did the other launch fighting title for kinect 1 aswell. Did that one even get 1/10?
Covfan
Member
(11-29-2013, 01:11 PM)

But no! Say hello to DJ Joao. One of two black characters in the game, he fights not only with a pair of headphones attached to his belt but while wearing a pair of earbuds, just in case anyone forgot for a moment that he is a DJ. I suspect he lives in fear of an opponent one day discovering he is listening to Mumford and Sons.

The other black character in the game can "communicate with voodoo spirits". Her biography reveals she lost her family in the 2010 Haiti earthquake. No, not too soon, perfectly appropriate, well done.

Don't worry, white people, you get stereotyped too! Meet kilt-wearing ginger thug Feargas (sic). "A ruined Scottish aristocrat and blacksmith, he divides his time between renovating the family castle, playing rugby and boxing." There's also a blonde Russian woman who dresses like a prostitute, the usual collection of assorted ethnic minorities sporting shaved heads and vaguely tribal tattooos, and a cockerny twat who pronounces dojo "dodgo".

THIS.SOUNDS.AWFUL
Coulomb_Barrier
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(11-29-2013, 01:14 PM)
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Lol Danny Dyer. Makes me laugh.
Zalman
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(11-29-2013, 01:16 PM)
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What were Ubisoft thinking?
Stone Ocean
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(11-29-2013, 01:17 PM)
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Well I expected it to be bad but not this bad.

And lol at the taglines in the review.
Grimløck
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(11-29-2013, 01:17 PM)
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basura.
Hoo-doo
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(11-29-2013, 01:18 PM)
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Originally Posted by Sinfamy


MFW people still believe Kinect is truly improved and allows for 1:1

But.. That's supposed to be my face.
Corto
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(11-29-2013, 01:19 PM)
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I feel bad for Ellie. She must have pissed someone real high on the food chain to be punished like that. Chin up! just be safe. I'm joking
pixlexic
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(11-29-2013, 01:19 PM)
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I am surprise someone took the time to review this game.

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