I know this isn't exactly the ideal place to attempt to and get a sincere response, but since I had the tab open:
I won't bore everyone with my long history so here are the cliffs:
*Have history of depression and sleep issues
*Discharged from Marine Corps 4 months ago
*Can't find a suitable salary job
*Almost completely out of money
*Lose health insurance
*Suffer from Seizures from not being able to pay for meds, leads to $10k+ Hospital Bills
*Months behind on bills
*Wife says she's fallen out of love with me and has feelings for someone else
* Still Love her with all my heart and soul
* 26 years old, crying like a preteen girl
And I've realized I truly don't give a a fucking shit anymore. I don't give a shit if I live a long life anymore. I really don't. I don't want to die. But, honestly the thought of it doesn't put a bad taste in my mouth anymore. This whole mentality has been in my head off and on for a while now, but having my wife tell me she doesn't love me anymore just makes me life complete. Anyone else ever feel like they are in a place a limbo, just not giving a flying fucking shit about anything?
'Suicide? Why bother, life and death are the same thing.' (Pierre Drieu la Rochelle)
That is awful my friend. You cant make someone love you unfortunately, so sounds like its for the best to move on. But on the brightside you are still very young! Go on any internet dating service and youll find tons of nearby hotties you can now interact with once everyrhing else is in order, so really its good ot happenes now and npt 20 years later. Still awful but you can make it buddy.
Salary jobs can be hard to come by nowadays. What about just getting something thru a temp agency to get on your own, grt some free healthcare/obamacare and start your journey? You gotta make the best of things starting this minute. Perhaps claim bankruptsy to lose that pile of bills? You need to look at this as a fresh start
Salary jobs can be hard to come by nowadays. What about just getting something thru a temp agency to get on your own, grt some free healthcare/obamacare and start your journey? You gotta make the best of things starting this minute. Perhaps claim bankruptsy to lose that pile of bills? You need to look at this as a fresh start
Prepare to be inundated with people telling you to "talk to someone".
And they're right.
I've been there. So have many, many other people.
There comes a point where you realise you can't go any further down. The only way is up. It's just a case of figuring out how to start climbing. There are people that can help you do exactly that.
Provide some details (location etc.) and let Gaf do their magic.
And they're right.
I've been there. So have many, many other people.
There comes a point where you realise you can't go any further down. The only way is up. It's just a case of figuring out how to start climbing. There are people that can help you do exactly that.
Provide some details (location etc.) and let Gaf do their magic.
Seek counseling, man. I'm in a shitty spot as well, but the situation you're in isn't worth killing yourself, OP.
1. You need to talk to someone in a one on one setting about these things. If you want to PM myself or anyone else willing to listen. But the main thing is to talk to someone about it, for many people talking to someone who absolutely knows nothing about your personal life is a great help.
2. Don't even entertain the notion of dying, suicide is a slippery slope. You may not want to kill yourself, but constantly talking about dying and death and how you don't mind dying right now coupled with the things going on in your life are all ingredients to such a decision even if you don't believe so now.
3. I hate being cliche, and I you may not believe this given your current state; but things DO get better. It won't just come to you, but if you make an earnest attempt at striving for a better outcome you will get one. I'm not promising you some six digit salary job, but you will find gainful employment and if you continue to seek it out you'll eventually find something you love.
4. Love is a very powerful thing, and I know her words and her general disposition hurt you. I can't tell you to suck it up and move on nor will I. But I will say that in time that pain will heal and you'll find another. You may not think so now, but I promise this as well.
5. My advice is to keep yourself occupied, look for small jobs while you track down the big one, Pick up a hobby, we live in the information age there are many things you can learn with a bit of dedication and online reading you can also use this to beef up your CV in the future. Go on walks, go out to local events in the area, meet new people. This breath of fresh air will help change your overall disposition even if only by a little. Every step is easier than the last.
2. Don't even entertain the notion of dying, suicide is a slippery slope. You may not want to kill yourself, but constantly talking about dying and death and how you don't mind dying right now coupled with the things going on in your life are all ingredients to such a decision even if you don't believe so now.
3. I hate being cliche, and I you may not believe this given your current state; but things DO get better. It won't just come to you, but if you make an earnest attempt at striving for a better outcome you will get one. I'm not promising you some six digit salary job, but you will find gainful employment and if you continue to seek it out you'll eventually find something you love.
4. Love is a very powerful thing, and I know her words and her general disposition hurt you. I can't tell you to suck it up and move on nor will I. But I will say that in time that pain will heal and you'll find another. You may not think so now, but I promise this as well.
5. My advice is to keep yourself occupied, look for small jobs while you track down the big one, Pick up a hobby, we live in the information age there are many things you can learn with a bit of dedication and online reading you can also use this to beef up your CV in the future. Go on walks, go out to local events in the area, meet new people. This breath of fresh air will help change your overall disposition even if only by a little. Every step is easier than the last.
I had something similar at the start of this year. I ended up taking time off work and eventually moving jobs. It was a whole collision of awfulness in my life...
I'd taken antidepressants the previous year and while they helped the big thing was they got me to a point not where I was good....but where I could take steps to make my life less awful.
If you have a history of depression you probably need to seek help, preferably from someone who knows how to deal with. There's a lot of support lines, and volunteer groups who can help. I got to the point where driving to work would be an exercise in ignoring the feeling I should just send my car into the oncoming lanes, or a wall and just end it....I wasn't technically suicidal I just wanted to stop being.
Get help, man, you sound like you need it.
I'd taken antidepressants the previous year and while they helped the big thing was they got me to a point not where I was good....but where I could take steps to make my life less awful.
If you have a history of depression you probably need to seek help, preferably from someone who knows how to deal with. There's a lot of support lines, and volunteer groups who can help. I got to the point where driving to work would be an exercise in ignoring the feeling I should just send my car into the oncoming lanes, or a wall and just end it....I wasn't technically suicidal I just wanted to stop being.
Get help, man, you sound like you need it.
Hey man,
Have you filed a claim with the VA yet? If not, get on that ASAP.
Also look into the VA's healthcare for vets. If I'm not mistaken, you should will be covered by them.
Sorry I don't have time to post a bunch of resources for you since I'm mobile and headed into work but if you PM me then I'll make sure to get back to you today.
You're not alone man.
Semper Fi
Have you filed a claim with the VA yet? If not, get on that ASAP.
Also look into the VA's healthcare for vets. If I'm not mistaken, you should will be covered by them.
Sorry I don't have time to post a bunch of resources for you since I'm mobile and headed into work but if you PM me then I'll make sure to get back to you today.
You're not alone man.
Semper Fi
Maybe I just need a cigarette and some sleep.
I'm really, really hurting, but suicide isn't something I could ever see myself taking seriously. I'm too much a bitch to realistically pull something like that off. I'm just at that point where I genuinely don't care about life or death.
Talking to someone does help and I had been seeing a Therapist and on Celexa until my insurance got cut. I just can't afford to do it anymore. All the money I had saved up when I got out of the military and pretty much expended and my support system through all off this tells me she doesn't love me. I'm just on a verge of a mental breakdown. But thanks for the words of encouragement.
I'm really, really hurting, but suicide isn't something I could ever see myself taking seriously. I'm too much a bitch to realistically pull something like that off. I'm just at that point where I genuinely don't care about life or death.
Talking to someone does help and I had been seeing a Therapist and on Celexa until my insurance got cut. I just can't afford to do it anymore. All the money I had saved up when I got out of the military and pretty much expended and my support system through all off this tells me she doesn't love me. I'm just on a verge of a mental breakdown. But thanks for the words of encouragement.
Realize that things get better, but you have to be willing to put in the work. Read this article about Charlie Munger, investing co-partner of Warren Buffett and how he transformed tragedy into triumph
http://www.joshuakennon.com/if-charl...ave-no-excuse/
http://www.joshuakennon.com/if-charl...ave-no-excuse/
Try to see the other paths and options OP. I'm a big fan of Jason Silva his "Shots of Awe" are inspiring. Try to see your options.
http://youtu.be/FU4aQ51lIXA
http://youtu.be/FU4aQ51lIXA
Do whatever you do, but do not kill or try to kill yourself. I've been down there and know it doesn't feel good by any means. You don't want to live the rest of your life knowing that you couldn't kill yourself. It's good you have reached out to seek help. By that I mean this thread. Just don't stop. Go beyond this thread. There are a whole lot of people who are willing to help if you ask for it. We here on GAF will help you as much as we possibly can, but it takes two to have a conversation.
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