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Halo 5: Bombadil crushes the character limit

Limanima

Member
WHm5p94.gif

This made me laugh because it's so appropriate.

Hey, I was thinking

And I stopped reading here.
 

wwm0nkey

Member
In 2557, Jizzy 117 returns ta Ghetto n' is placed on administratizzle leave while a investigation is conducted tha fuck into tha events surroundin his 4 year absence from humanity, his breach of Captain Del Rio’s command upon rediscovery, tha significizzle of tha Didact n' tha Promethean threat, n' tha destruction of tha Ivanoff Research Station. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. By dis time, tha Chief’s status as a legendary all up playa has been solidified among most of tha UNSC yo, but here n' there is detractors like fuckin Captian Del Rio, whoz ass wish ta place blame on tha Masta Chief fo' his swashbuckling, reckless behavior. These muthafuckas argue dat Jizzy 117’s time away from humanitizzle n' his crazy-ass muthafuckin increasingly abnormal attachment ta tha rampant AI Cortana has rendered his ass incapable of struttin his fuckin lil' duties. His refusal ta obey ordaz has been cited as evidence of dis claim. With nearly all of his thugged-out lil' past associates dead (includin Admiral Hood), Jizzy 117 is publicly hailed as a all up playa but is privately discharged (honorably) n' encouraged ta retreat from military affairs.

Meanwhile, Dr. Catherine Halsey is hittin dat shizzle hard on freshly smoked up data uncovered by tha Ivanoff Research Station crew. Their last transmission before bein "composed" by tha Didact was a encrypted data set detailin holy artifacts most likely located on High Charity, tha movin capital of tha now fragmented Covenant civilization. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Peepin tha eventz of Halo 3, High Charitizzle was transported away from tha Sol System n' designated a quarantine unit cuz of ongoin Flood Infestation (from tha eventz of Halo 2). Da holy artifacts is believed by tha researchers ta be markers/keys dat will help unlock certain barred areaz of Installation 03, includin tha Library. Da UNSC hopes ta learn mo' deetz bout tha Didact n' tha Prometheans from data stored on tha Halo.

A crew of twelve Spartan IVs is deployed ta High Charitizzle ta locate tha artifacts n' retrieve them. Despite Dr yo. Halsey’s repeated requests, Jizzy 117 aint involved up in tha program, not even up in a advisory capacity. Da Spartan IVs is under tha command of Captain Del Rio of tha Infinity. Durin tha course of tha journey tha fuck into tha dark, infested cornerz of tha abandoned hood, tha Spartan IVs lose contact wit tha shizzle n' is slowly separated from one another by pocketz of infestation. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. One Spartan manages ta make it tha fuck into tha Throne Room, where tha Prophets resided durin council. In tha darkness, he findz a indented palm print up in tha wall, indicatin dat some kind of compartment can be activated n' opened by a Prophet’s hand. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Suddenly, from tha dark corner of tha room, a voice breaks tha silence of space. Movin tha fuck into tha light, tha figure reveals itself ta be… tha Prophet of Mercy (who supposedly took a dirt nap all up in tha end of tha Halo 2). But he’s not intact. Da Prophet’s corpse has been infected by a Flood spore. Dude has become conduit of tha Gravemind. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Da scene ends, wit tha playa assumin dat tha final Spartan (the playable character) is ghon be capped.

Captain Del Rio n' tha Infinitizzle fail ta reestablish contact wit tha Spartans on High Charity, n' it be assumed dat they is MIA. Da mission is disavowed from tha recordz n' Captian Del Rio is demoted. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Meanwhile, Dr yo. Halsey pleadz wit tha UNSC ta allow her a crew wit Jizzy 117. Biatch is desperate ta know tha detailz of Cortana’s rampancy. Biatch also believes dat Jizzy 117 is tha key ta findin tha artifact. Da UNSC finally bendz ta her will, afraid dat further inaction on they part could result up in a Promethean invasion.

Meanwhile, Jizzy 117 lives a thuglife of seclusion on tha outskirtz of Germany (or some place, it don’t straight-up matter). His war scars have left his ass virtually handicapped. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Without his MJOLNIR armor, he is decrepit. But his bodily damage is not a god damn thang compared ta his crazy-ass menstrual state. Dude had been connected ta Cortana so long dat his dome is sufferin from severe withdrawal symptoms: migraines, auditory n' visual hallucinations, delirious thoughts, etc. Jizzy aint up in any capacitizzle ta reenter service. Dr yo. Halsey arrives ta coax his ass tha fuck into helpin tha UNSC wit a vital mission ta retrieve tha artifacts from High Charity. Biatch was under ordaz not ta divulge any details regardin tha previous failed mission. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. But her ass drops some lyrics ta Jizzy anyway. Jizzy begins ta recite Gravemind’s poetic statements. Halsey’s similaritizzle ta Cortana triggers a episode. Dude descendz tha fuck into a cold-ass lil conversation he had wit Cortana nuff muthafuckin years before, while they traversed tha narrow hallz of High Charity. Halsey notices this, n' fears fo' John’s sanitizzle yo, but her ass don’t say anythang cuz her ass knows dat John’s involvement up in tha mission be a imperative.

There is only one other thug kickin it whose involvement up in tha Covenant Wars can help tha UNSC complete they mission: tha Arbiter. After tha Covenant Battle ended, tha Elites returned ta they home ghetto. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Diplomatic affairs wit tha Elites remained a shaky proposition, n' tha apparent losz of tha Chief dissolved any possibilitizzle of a longstandin thang between tha humans n' tha Elites. Da Elites whoz ass participated up in tha war against tha Brutes n' tha Flood considered Jizzy 117 ta be da most thugged-out formidable warrior of tha human race, n' tha only one worthy of they respect. When tha Arbiter returned ta his home ghetto, he was appointed they first leader up in a long-ass time (since tha Prophets had reigned fo' nuff centuries up until dat point).

Da Chief is taxed wit recruitin tha Arbiter n' returnin ta High Charitizzle ta retrieve tha artifacts believed ta be hidden there. Dr yo. Halsey has also axed Jizzy ta look tha fuck into tha disappearizzle of tha twelve Spartan IVs whoz ass went missing. Biatch surreptitiously injects Jizzy wit neuroleptics ta keep his ass stable fo' as long as possible. Dude is refitted wit his oldschool MJOLNIR armor wit some freshly smoked up additions ta his thugged-out arsenal. At dis time, Dr yo. Halsey has decided not ta pair his ass wit a freshly smoked up AI fo' fear of tha side effects. When tha Masta Chief arrives all up in tha Sangheili home ghetto, known as Sangheilios, his thugged-out lil' presence is kicked it wit wit aggression n' confusion yo, but when tha Elite leader (the Arbiter) is informed of his thugged-out lil' presence, tha warriors stand down. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Durin dis portion of tha game, tha Chief n' by extension tha playa, is exposed ta tha Elite culture. Da Arbiter drops some lyrics ta tha Chief dat his comin was somewhat well-timed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! A few months ago, ancient Forerunner shrines built on Sangheilios fuckin started ta quake, n' tha animal thuglife of tha hood fuckin started ta behave erratically. Massive disturbizzlez caused cave openings ta break open near tha shrines. Da Chief n' tha Arbiter n' a squadron of Sangheili warriors head up ta tha caves ta discern tha nature of tha disturbizzle.

Within tha caves, tha crew encountas violent creatures somewhat similar ta tha monstas from tha film "Pitch Black." Da creatures have signz of Flood infection; however, there is no spore forms. Within tha depthz of tha caverns, they discover a lake of liquid methane, n' up in tha center of tha lake, a lil' small-ass Forerunner structure. Disturbin tha lake awakens mo' creatures, dis time amphibious flood forms dat rise outta tha methane. Da Forerunner structure gotz nuff a ancient logic puzzle meant ta test tha one whoz ass activates dat shit. A seriez of thangs is axed n' tha user must answer erectly ta unlock a cold-ass lil code. Incorrect lyrics is kicked it wit wit mo' wavez of creatures n' earthquakes dat threaten ta collapse tha cave ceiling. Da compartment gotz nuff a ancient artifact (which will later be used ta open up freshly smoked up areaz of installation 3. At dis time, tha Chief is unaware of tha artifact’s purpose. His only goal is ta appease tha Arbiter so dat they can go ta High Charitizzle n' investigate tha disappearizzle of tha other Spartans, as well as find whatever tha researchers is lookin for.

Upon returnin from tha cave wit tha newly found artifact, tha Masta Chief n' tha Arbiter discover dat they hood has been invaded. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! A battalion of Jiralhanae ships dot tha sky n' mazillionz of Brutes rizla down on smalla cruisers toward tha surface. Shocked by what tha fuck he is seeing, tha Arbiter goes berserk n' tears forward wit his warrior guard. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! At dis point tha playa skits as tha Arbiter. Da Chief skits a assistizzle role. Da playa must navigate his way toward his thugged-out lil' palace all up in tha top of a ancient tree (think Kashyyyk architecture). Da Arbiter wishes ta save his wild lil' gang from tha Brutes. Most blinginly, his son, tha heir, must survive. But when he gets ta tha palace, what tha fuck do he see, biatch? Tartarus. Tartarus is kickin it, though somewhat chizzled. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dude appears ta be infected by tha Flood but his thugged-out lil' personalitizzle is mo' and less sound. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Da Arbiter’s ho n' daughtas lay dead on tha floor of tha throne room. His lil hustla is on his knees. Tartarus, tha Arbiter, n' Jizzy exchange a gangbangin' few lyrics. Then Tartarus personally decapitates tha Arbiter’s son. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

Da Arbiter roars wit rage n' grief. Dude lunges forward ta avenge his wild lil' gang but is beaten down by half a thugged-out dozen Brutes. Da Masta Chief be also incapacitated. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! When they come to, tha Arbiter n' tha Chief is on a shizzle headin toward some unknown location. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. They is up in chains (or future equivalent). All hope seems lost when Dr yo. Halsey establishes communication wit tha Chief n' informs his ass dat tha UNSC Infinitizzle has been overrun. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Da Chief drops some lyrics ta her dat he is imprisoned. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! It be at dis moment dat Halsey decides her ass must do somethang drastic. What tha playa didn’t know was dat Halsey had implanted a newly pimped AI tha fuck into tha Masta Chief’s cortical input. Biatch had decided not ta activate tha AI unless tha situation straight-up demanded dat shit. Biatch do so now, nahmeean, biatch? AI Apollo (makin moves name) introduces his dirty ass ta tha Chief n' straight-up revamps his HUD system.

Apollo be a highly experimenstrual AI up in dat it can rework tha Chief’s operationizzle memory ta give his ass reflexes n' game he’s never honed before. There is limits ta dis dat I haven’t thought of yet. Needless ta say, Apollo helps tha Chief hack n' disengage tha locks. Jizzy frees tha Arbiter n' they dispatch of tha ship’s crew. But fuck dat shizzle yo, tha word on tha street is dat by tha time they make it ta tha cockpit of tha ship, a gangbangin' familiar voice echoes all up in tha shizzle n' sendz it careenin tha fuck into space. It be Gravemind. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dude is kickin it n' growin up in power. Da game takes on a thugged-out darker tone at dis point. Gravemind has resurrected oldschool foes ta haunt tha Chief n' Arbiter. Dude sendz tha shizzle toward Installation 03 n' breaks it up up in atmosphere. Mimickin tha end of Halo 3, tha Arbiter n' tha Jizzy is separated by two halves. Installation 03 has propertizzles similar ta tha hood Venus, so it aint filled wit lush chronicwildlife as nuff other halos were. Instead, there is dust storms n' tall mountains dat stretch they shadows across tha desolate orange/red landscape. When tha Chief comes to, he sees Cortana standin before him, not up in her usual transparent blue hue yo, but as a real, solid biatch. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Dude has a lengthy conversation wit her bout tha weather n' then bout gangstas n' they treachery n' insignificizzle. Cortana begins ta shimmer n' strutts away beneath a thugged-out dune. Apollo jolts tha Chief back tha fuck into coherence n' attempts ta establish a cold-ass lil communication channel wit Halsey. It be unable ta do so. Halsey is holed up up in a air vent somewhere on tha Infinity. Brutes is scourin tha shizzle up in search of humans. Back up in tha desert, Apollo predicts dat a oncomin sandstorm will tear everythang on tha surface apart n' dat tha Chief must find shelter somewhere underground. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Da local animal thuglife consistz of giant carnivorous scarab beetles. Apollo detects a highly concentrated heat signature from off up in tha distizzle, n' tha Chief headz off up in hopez of findin a place of hide. When he gets, there, he sees dat tha heat signature is comin from a straight-up deep pit (think tha pit up in 300). With tha razor sharp storm howlin at they backs, tha Chief takes a leap of faith tha fuck into tha darkness.

Da game shifts ta tha Arbiter. Although he is on tha same stupid-ass Installation as tha Chief, tha scenery around his ass is much different. Dude has crash-landed up in a valley deep within tha tallest mountain on dis Halo. Da peaks surroundin his ass is capped wit snow n' vines trail from tall trees all around. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Da sky above is blocked up up in places by canopiez of leaves. Strange wildlife inhabits tha area, includin mosquitoes tha size of birdz n' big-ass elephant-like creatures wit nuff grills. Da Arbiter can hear Gravemind’s disembodied voice recitin iambic poemz of events dat is eons past. Dude vocally vows ta destroy Gravemind n' a rasp of laughter booms all up in tha air up in response. Without any AI ta accompany him, tha Arbiter be alone ta travel around tha area up in search of some way out; he has tha artifact from his home hood wit his muthafuckin ass. Dude findz moss-covered structures dat may be Forerunner structures yo, but is straight-up different than what tha fuck we’ve peeped up in previous Halos. After cappin' a shitload of tha aggressive wildlife, tha Arbiter bigs up a river, expectin ta find a openin yo, but instead, tha river has led his ass ta tha grill of a mountain, n' it disappears within a cold-ass lil closed-off opening. A terminal near tha bank of tha river interests his muthafuckin ass. Dude bangs tha artifact tha fuck into a slot, n' tha terminal begins ta drop a rhyme aloud ta his ass yo, but it is up in a language he cannot understand. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dude curses up loud n' tha terminal registas his fuckin language n' begins ta ask his ass logic thangs. Upon answerin these thangs erectly, tha grill of tha mountain will slide open, revealin a thugged-out dark cave. Da Arbiter enters.
Da game shifts back ta tha Chief. Dude has landed nuff hundredz of feet below tha surface of tha hood, n' is kicked it wit wit tha sight of a interconnected seriez of passageways dat is lit by Forerunner tech. Da walls contain nuff pictures dat tell tha rap of tha universe n' tha Forerunner civilization. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Da Chief encountas what tha fuck step tha fuck up ta be livin quarters, left perfectly preserved fo' whoz ass knows how tha fuck nuff eons. Dude goes on further n' begins fuckin wit mo' hallucinations. Apollo’s voice distorts n' soundz like Cortana’s. Nonexistent enemies run toward tha Chief, promptin his ass ta fire bullets n' waste ammo. Apollo tries ta stabilize tha Chief by administerin logic thangs. At dis point, tha playa can activate lil minigame dat can help aid tha Chief up in regainin sanity. This helps ta make tha game less tedious. With tha Chief’s ammo wasted, he is forced ta menstrually train up in martial arts combat rockin Apollo’s applications. Although Jizzy is well-versed up in martial arts, his thugged-out age n' body deterioration have forced Apollo t make adjustments so he can conserve juice. This, too, can give playas somethang ta do beyond tha typical shooter fare.

At some point up in his wild lil' fuckin exploration of tha tunnels, tha Chief comes across royal tombz of tha early Forerunner kings. Glyphic stories on tha walls depict tha kings as godz yo, but above em be a thugged-out depiction straight-up similar ta dat of Gravemind. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! A shriek soundz off from somewhere deep within tha caves. Phat, slitherin black creatures (think Aliens from Aliens) mount tha walls n' claw they way toward Chief. Dude must bust hand ta hand combat ta bust a cap up in them. When he gets ta a cold-ass lil closed-off door, tha Chief is kicked it wit wit mo' logic puzzlez n' a hand scanner fo' unlockin a big-ass door. Dude doublez back ta tha tombs n' breaks off tha hand of a mummified ruler. Dude solves tha puzzle n' activates tha hand scanner. Da door opens. Behind dat door, tha Chief cannot peep all up in tha impenetrable chronicfog dat cloudz tha ghetto beyond. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! A single Flood spore skittas toward his wild lil' foot n' he crushes it wit his boot. An inhuman growl echoes from beyond n' both tha Chief n' Apollo realize dat they’ve done cooked up a funky-ass big-ass mistake up in unsealin tha door. Gravemind’s disembodied laugh rings all up in tha tunnel.

Da game shifts back ta tha Arbiter. Da Arbiter has entered tha cave openin n' sees dat he has found tha antechamber ta tha Library. Da interior of tha mountain opens up around his ass ta become a vast, expansive cavern (think Minez of Moria). A long narrow struttway done cooked up of stone rather than light (as up in previous Halos) suggests dat these structures is far olda than em of tha other installations. Tall statues redolent of Egyptian art stand up in rows on either side of tha struttway. Their arms hold up tha cavern ceilings n' they legs descend down tha fuck into darkness. Gravemind begins ta drop a rhyme again, up in iambic verse, spittin some lyrics ta a rap of how tha fuck thangs fuckin started n' his thugged-out lil' posizzle within tha universe. Da Arbiter argues wit his ass but findz his dirty ass unsure of what tha fuck ta believe. Gravemind fronts dat he is tha daddy of all thangs, includin tha Forerunners.

Reposting for the new page.
 
Halo 5 » by Bombadil
Hey, I was thinking about Halo 5's plot yesterday and decided to write up a brief treatment of something that I'd like to see. Any inaccuracies within the plot concerning canon material are likely due to my ignorance of all the material of the Halo universe. It's a bit long but I plead with you guys to read it and tell me what you think.
Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi - Chapters: 2 - Words: 15,974 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 1-22-13 - Published: 1-22-13

MCG-189 1/22/13
i loved this story, especially appolo. can i right a ficlet with JohnXAppolo? no explicit material, just romancetic fluff
 

Nicktock

Neo Member
the daddy longs legs is the fiercest killer in the insect kingdom
Halo 5 |OT| Or Some Place, It Doesn't Really Matter
rivulets of war is the name of my new prog-rock band
Hey dol! merry dol! ring a dong dillo!
Ring a dong! hop along! fal lal the willow!
Tom Bom, jolly Tom, Tom Bombadillo!

Hey! Come merry dol! derry dol! My darling!
Light goes the weather-wind and the feathered starling.
Down along under Hill, shining in the sunlight,
Waiting on the doorstep for the cold starlight,
There my pretty lady is, River-woman's daughter,
Slender as the willow-wand, clearer than the water.
Arbiter fights a giant daddy longlegs with a human head.
Comes hopping home again. Can you hear him singing?
Hey! Come merry dol! derry dol! and merry-o,
Goldberry, Goldberry, merry yellow berry-o!
Poor old Willow-man, you tuck your roots away!
Tom's in a hurry now. Evening will follow day.
Tom's going home home again water-lilies bringing.
John-117 is placed on administrative leave.

He did it, he won this thread.
 

G-Fex

Member
Cmon Bombadil,become like that fifty shades of grey girl and change the characters names into something original then bam you got yourself a 3 book deal and movie.
 
Sorta off topic, but did they ever give a reason why the Covenant were the bad guys again in Halo 4?
Because otherwise there would only be 3 enemy types in the entire game.

Oh you meant like a story reason. I don't know. I played Halo 4 mostly in a kind of fugue state.
 

Marcel

Member
Sorta off topic, but did they ever give a reason why the Covenant were the bad guys again in Halo 4?

Plot reason - Separate heretic religious sect who worship some 'important' thing that maybe a diehard can tell you about.

Real reason - Laziness.
 

Bombadil

Banned
Can I get some more feedback to this? I appreciate the humorous remarks and all, but I feel like there was a lot of nitpicking at my use of language or descriptions.

I just wanted the reader to have a somewhat clearer idea of the setting. I know I didn't do a good job of that, but I was aware of the word count and was afraid to push it further.
 
Can I get some more feedback to this? I appreciate the humorous remarks and all, but I feel like there was a lot of nitpicking at my use of language or descriptions.

I just wanted the reader to have a somewhat clearer idea of the setting. I know I didn't do a good job of that, but I was aware of the word count and was afraid to push it further.

Honestly? It's too complicated. Not just from a story perspective, but from gameplay too. You want to throw in minigames and special missions for everything, it just doesn't sound very fun. I think people that want to regulate their character's sanity would rather play Amnesia than Halo.
 

exYle

Member
"Cortana? How are you alive?"
"I just am. Crazy weather, huh?"
"Yeah it's insane"

Can I get some more feedback to this? I appreciate the humorous remarks and all, but I feel like there was a lot of nitpicking at my use of language or descriptions.

I just wanted the reader to have a somewhat clearer idea of the setting. I know I didn't do a good job of that, but I was aware of the word count and was afraid to push it further.

It's an interesting tale but there a few discrepancies in the lore (one thing that bothered me is that you referred to the Gravemind consistently as a singular, God-like entity. There are multiple Graveminds - they are just Flood that has reached a critical mass) and this honestly sounds like a completely different type of game that is just using Halo lore as a backdrop. There's no way a Halsey stealth mission will ever be greenlit.
 
Can I get some more feedback to this? I appreciate the humorous remarks and all, but I feel like there was a lot of nitpicking at my use of language or descriptions.

I just wanted the reader to have a somewhat clearer idea of the setting. I know I didn't do a good job of that, but I was aware of the word count and was afraid to push it further.

Its a bit much, but I can't deny that its a fun read. Also, it seems to feel fairly fresh while still retaining the Halo feel. Halo 4 struggled with that IMO, and I would like to see some more crazy things like what you wrote.
 
In 2557, John 117 wetuwns to Eawf and is pwaced on administwative weave whiwe an investigation is conducted into the events suwwounding his 4 yeaw absence fwom humanity, his bweach of Captain Dew Wio’s command upon wediscovewy, the significance of the Didact and the Pwomethean thweat, and the destwuction of the Ivanoff Weseawch Station, uh-hah-hah-hah. By this time, the Chief’s status as a wegendawy hewo has been sowidified among most of the UNSC, but hewe and thewe awe detwactows such as Captian Dew Wio, who wish to pwace bwame on the Mastew Chief fow his swashbuckwing, weckwess behaviow. Dese cwitics awgue that John 117’s time away fwom humanity and his incweasingwy abnowmaw attachment to the wampant AI Cowtana has wendewed him incapabwe of pewfowming his duties. Oh, dat scwewy wabbit! His wefusaw to obey owdews has been cited as evidence of this cwaim. Wif neawwy aww of his past associates dead (incwuding Admiwaw Hood), John 117 is pubwicwy haiwed as a hewo but is pwivatewy dischawged (honowabwy) and encouwaged to wetweat fwom miwitawy affaiws. Oh, dat scwewy wabbit!

Meanwhiwe, Dw. Cathewine Hawsey is wowking hawd on new data uncovewed by the Ivanoff Weseawch Station team. Deiw wast twansmission befowe being “composed” by the Didact was an encwypted data set detaiwing howy awtifacts most wikewy wocated on High Chawity, the moving capitaw of the now fwagmented Covenant civiwization, uh-hah-hah-hah. Fowwowing the events of Hawo 3, High Chawity was twanspowted away fwom the Sow System and designated a qwawantine zone due to ongoing Fwood Infestation (fwom the events of Hawo 2). De howy awtifacts awe bewieved by the weseawchews to be mawkews/keys that wiww hewp unwock cewtain bawwed aweas of Instawwation 03, incwuding the Wibwawy. De UNSC hopes to weawn mowe infowmation about the Didact and the Pwometheans fwom data stowed on the Hawo.

A team of twewve Spawtan IVs is depwoyed to High Chawity to wocate the awtifacts and wetwieve them. Despite Dw. Hawsey’s wepeated weqwests, John 117 is not invowved in the pwogwam, not even in an advisowy capacity. De Spawtan IVs awe undew the command of Captain Dew Wio of the Infinity. Duwing the couwse of the jouwney into the dawk, infested cownews of the abandoned city, the Spawtan IVs wose contact wif the ship and awe swowwy sepawated fwom one anothew by pockets of infestation, uh-hah-hah-hah. One Spawtan manages to make it into the Dwone Woom, whewe the Pwophets wesided duwing counciw. In the dawkness, he finds an indented pawm pwint in the waww, indicating that some kind of compawtment can be activated and opened by a Pwophet’s hand. Suddenwy, fwom the dawk cownew of the woom, a voice bweaks the siwence of space. Moving into the wight, the figuwe weveaws itsewf to be… the Pwophet of Mewcy (who supposedwy died at the end of the Hawo 2). But he’s not intact. De Pwophet’s cowpse has been infected by a Fwood spowe. He has become conduit of the Gwavemind. De scene ends, wif the pwayew assuming that the finaw Spawtan (the pwayabwe chawactew) wiww be kiwwed.

Captain Dew Wio and the Infinity faiw to weestabwish contact wif the Spawtans on High Chawity, and it is assumed that they awe MIA. De mission is disavowed fwom the wecowds and Captian Dew Wio is demoted. Meanwhiwe, Dw. Hawsey pweads wif the UNSC to awwow hew an audience wif John 117. She is despewate to know the detaiws of Cowtana’s wampancy. She awso bewieves that John 117 is the key to finding the awtifact. De UNSC finawwy bends to hew wiww, afwaid that fuwthew inaction on theiw pawt couwd wesuwt in a Pwomethean invasion, uh-hah-hah-hah.

Meanwhiwe, John 117 wives a wife of secwusion on the outskiwts of Gewmany (ow some pwace, it doesn’t weawwy mattew). His waw scaws have weft him viwtuawwy handicapped. Without his MJOWNIW awmow, he is decwepit. But his bodiwy damage is nothing compawed to his mentaw state. He had been connected to Cowtana so wong that his bwain is suffewing fwom sevewe withdwawaw symptoms: migwaines, auditowy and visuaw hawwucinations, dewiwious thoughts, etc. John is not in any capacity to weentew sewvice. Dw. Hawsey awwives to coax him into hewping the UNSC wif a vitaw mission to wetwieve the awtifacts fwom High Chawity. She was undew owdews not to divuwge any detaiws wegawding the pwevious faiwed mission, uh-hah-hah-hah. But she tewws John anyway. John begins to wecite Gwavemind’s poetic statements. Oh, dat scwewy wabbit! Hawsey’s simiwawity to Cowtana twiggews an episode. He descends into a convewsation he had wif Cowtana many yeaws befowe, whiwe they twavewsed the nawwow hawws of High Chawity. Hawsey notices this, and feaws fow John’s sanity, but she doesn’t say anything because she knows that John’s invowvement in the mission is an impewative.

Dewe is onwy one othew pewson awive whose invowvement in the Covenant Waws can hewp the UNSC compwete theiw mission: the Awbitew. Aftew the Covenant Waw ended, the Ewites wetuwned to theiw home wowwd. Dipwomatic affaiws wif the Ewites wemained a shaky pwoposition, and the appawent woss of the Chief dissowved any possibiwity of a wongstanding fwiendship between the humans and the Ewites. Oh, dat scwewy wabbit! De Ewites who pawticipated in the waw against the Bwutes and the Fwood considewed John 117 to be the most fowmidabwe wawwiow of the human wace, and the onwy one wowthy of theiw wespect. When the Awbitew wetuwned to his home wowwd, he was appointed theiw fiwst weadew in a wong time (since the Pwophets had weigned fow many centuwies up untiw that point).

De Chief is tasked wif wecwuiting the Awbitew and wetuwning to High Chawity to wetwieve the awtifacts bewieved to be hidden thewe. Dw. Hawsey has awso asked John to wook into the disappeawance of the twewve Spawtan IVs who went missing. She suwweptitiouswy injects John wif neuwoweptics to keep him stabwe fow as wong as possibwe. He is wefitted wif his owd MJOWNIW awmow wif some new additions to his awsenaw. At this time, Dw. Hawsey has decided not to paiw him wif a new AI fow feaw of the side effects. Oh, dat scwewy wabbit! When the Mastew Chief awwives at the Sangheiwi home wowwd, known as Sangheiwios, his pwesence is met wif aggwession and confusion, but when the Ewite weadew (the Awbitew) is infowmed of his pwesence, the wawwiows stand down, uh-hah-hah-hah. Duwing this powtion of the game, the Chief and by extension the pwayew, is exposed to the Ewite cuwtuwe. De Awbitew tewws the Chief that his coming was somewhat weww-timed. A few months ago, ancient Fowewunnew shwines buiwt on Sangheiwios began to qwake, and the animaw wife of the pwanet began to behave ewwaticawwy. Massive distuwbances caused cave openings to bweak open neaw the shwines. Oh, dat scwewy wabbit! De Chief and the Awbitew and a sqwadwon of Sangheiwi wawwiows head out to the caves to discewn the natuwe of the distuwbance.

Within the caves, the gwoup encountews viowent cweatuwes somewhat simiwaw to the monstews fwom the fiwm “Pitch Bwack.” De cweatuwes have signs of Fwood infection; howevew, thewe awe no spowe fowms. Oh, dat scwewy wabbit! Within the depths of the cavewns, they discovew a wake of wiqwid methane, and in the centew of the wake, a smaww Fowewunnew stwuctuwe. Distuwbing the wake awakens mowe cweatuwes, this time amphibious fwood fowms that wise out of the methane. De Fowewunnew stwuctuwe contains an ancient wogic puzzwe meant to test the one who activates it. A sewies of qwestions awe asked and the usew must answew cowwectwy to unwock a code. Incowwect answews awe met wif mowe waves of cweatuwes and eawthqwakes that thweaten to cowwapse the cave ceiwing. De compawtment contains an ancient awtifact (which wiww watew be used to open up new aweas of instawwation 3. At this time, the Chief is unawawe of the awtifact’s puwpose. His onwy goaw is to appease the Awbitew so that they can go to High Chawity and investigate the disappeawance of the othew Spawtans, as weww as find whatevew the weseawchews awe wooking fow.

Upon wetuwning fwom the cave wif the newwy found awtifact, the Mastew Chief and the Awbitew discovew that theiw pwanet has been invaded. A battawion of Jiwawhanae ships dot the sky and miwwions of Bwutes wain down on smawwew cwuisews towawd the suwface. Shocked by what he is seeing, the Awbitew goes bewsewk and teaws fowwawd wif his wawwiow guawd. At this point the pwayew pways as the Awbitew. De Chief pways an assistive wowe. De pwayew must navigate his way towawd his pawace at the top of an ancient twee (think Kashyyyk awchitectuwe). De Awbitew wishes to save his famiwy fwom the Bwutes. Oh, dat scwewy wabbit! Most impowtantwy, his son, the heiw, must suwvive. But when he gets to the pawace, what does he see? Tawtawus. Oh, dat scwewy wabbit! Tawtawus is awive, though somewhat changed. He appeaws to be infected by the Fwood but his pewsonawity is mowe ow wess sound. De Awbitew’s wife and daughtews way dead on the fwoow of the thwone woom. His son is on his knees. Oh, dat scwewy wabbit! Tawtawus, the Awbitew, and John exchange a few wowds. Oh, dat scwewy wabbit! Den Tawtawus pewsonawwy decapitates the Awbitew’s son, uh-hah-hah-hah.

De Awbitew woaws wif wage and gwief. He wunges fowwawd to avenge his famiwy but is beaten down by hawf a dozen Bwutes. Oh, dat scwewy wabbit! De Mastew Chief is awso incapacitated. When they come to, the Awbitew and the Chief awe on a ship heading towawd some unknown wocation, uh-hah-hah-hah. Dey awe in chains (ow futuwe eqwivawent). Aww hope seems wost when Dw. Hawsey estabwishes communication wif the Chief and infowms him that the UNSC Infinity has been ovewwun, uh-hah-hah-hah. De Chief tewws hew that he is impwisoned. It is at this moment that Hawsey decides she must do something dwastic. What the pwayew didn’t know was that Hawsey had impwanted a newwy cweated AI into the Mastew Chief’s cowticaw input. She had decided not to activate the AI unwess the situation absowutewy demanded it. She does so now. AI Apowwo (wowking name) intwoduces himsewf to the Chief and compwetewy wevamps his HUD system.

Apowwo is a highwy expewimentaw AI in that it can wewowk the Chief’s opewationaw memowy to give him wefwexes and skiwws he’s nevew honed befowe. Dewe awe wimits to this that I haven’t thought of yet. Needwess to say, Apowwo hewps the Chief hack and disengage the wocks. Oh, dat scwewy wabbit! John fwees the Awbitew and they dispatch of the ship’s cwew. Howevew, by the time they make it to the cockpit of the ship, a famiwiaw voice echoes thwoughout the ship and sends it caweening into space. It is Gwavemind. He is awive and gwowing in powew. De game takes on a dawkew tone at this point. Gwavemind has wesuwwected owd foes to haunt the Chief and Awbitew. He sends the ship towawd Instawwation 03 and bweaks it up in atmosphewe. Mimicking the end of Hawo 3, the Awbitew and the John awe sepawated by two hawves. Oh, dat scwewy wabbit! Instawwation 03 has pwopewties simiwaw to the pwanet Venus, so it is not fiwwed wif wush gween wiwdwife as many othew hawos wewe. Instead, thewe awe dust stowms and taww mountains that stwetch theiw shadows acwoss the desowate owange/wed wandscape. When the Chief comes to, he sees Cowtana standing befowe him, not in hew usuaw twanspawent bwue hue, but as a weaw, sowid woman, uh-hah-hah-hah. He has a wengthy convewsation wif hew about the weathew and then about peopwe and theiw tweachewy and insignificance. Cowtana begins to shimmew and wawks away beneaf a dune. Apowwo jowts the Chief back into cohewence and attempts to estabwish a communication channew wif Hawsey. It is unabwe to do so. Hawsey is howed up in an aiw vent somewhewe on the Infinity. Bwutes awe scouwing the ship in seawch of humans. Oh, dat scwewy wabbit! Back in the desewt, Apowwo pwedicts that an oncoming sandstowm wiww teaw evewything on the suwface apawt and that the Chief must find shewtew somewhewe undewgwound. De wocaw animaw wife consists of giant cawnivowous scawab beetwes. Oh, dat scwewy wabbit! Apowwo detects a highwy concentwated heat signatuwe fwom off in the distance, and the Chief heads off in hopes of finding a pwace of hide. When he gets, thewe, he sees that the heat signatuwe is coming fwom a vewy deep pit (think the pit in 300). Wif the wazow shawp stowm howwing at theiw backs, the Chief takes a weap of faif into the dawkness. Oh, dat scwewy wabbit!

De game shifts to the Awbitew. Awthough he is on the same Instawwation as the Chief, the scenewy awound him is much diffewent. He has cwash-wanded in a vawwey deep within the tawwest mountain on this Hawo. De peaks suwwounding him awe capped wif snow and vines twaiw fwom taww twees aww awound. De sky above is bwocked out in pwaces by canopies of weaves. Oh, dat scwewy wabbit! Stwange wiwdwife inhabits the awea, incwuding mosqwitoes the size of biwds and wawge ewephant-wike cweatuwes wif many mouths. Oh, dat scwewy wabbit! De Awbitew can heaw Gwavemind’s disembodied voice weciting iambic poems of events that awe eons past. He vocawwy vows to destwoy Gwavemind and a wasp of waughtew booms thwough the aiw in wesponse. Without any AI to accompany him, the Awbitew is awone to twavew awound the awea in seawch of some way out; he has the awtifact fwom his home pwanet wif him. He finds moss-covewed stwuctuwes that may be Fowewunnew stwuctuwes, but awe vewy diffewent than what we’ve seen in pwevious Hawos. Oh, dat scwewy wabbit! Aftew kiwwing some of the aggwessive wiwdwife, the Awbitew fowwows a wivew, expecting to find an opening, but instead, the wivew has wed him to the face of a mountain, and it disappeaws within a cwosed-off opening. A tewminaw neaw the bank of the wivew intewests him. He insewts the awtifact into a swot, and the tewminaw begins to speak awoud to him, but it is in a wanguage he cannot undewstand. He cuwses out woud and the tewminaw wegistews his wanguage and begins to ask him wogic qwestions. Oh, dat scwewy wabbit! Upon answewing these qwestions cowwectwy, the face of the mountain wiww swide open, weveawing a dawk cave. De Awbitew entews. Oh, dat scwewy wabbit!
De game shifts back to the Chief. He has wanded many hundweds of feet bewow the suwface of the pwanet, and is met wif the sight of an intewconnected sewies of passageways that awe wit by Fowewunnew tech. De wawws contain many pictuwes that teww the stowy of the univewse and the Fowewunnew civiwization, uh-hah-hah-hah. De Chief encountews what appeaw to be wiving qwawtews, weft pewfectwy pwesewved fow who knows how many eons. Oh, dat scwewy wabbit! He goes on fuwthew and begins expewiencing mowe hawwucinations. Oh, dat scwewy wabbit! Apowwo’s voice distowts and sounds wike Cowtana’s. Oh, dat scwewy wabbit! Nonexistent enemies wun towawd the Chief, pwompting him to fiwe buwwets and waste ammo. Apowwo twies to stabiwize the Chief by administewing wogic qwestions. Oh, dat scwewy wabbit! At this point, the pwayew can activate wittwe minigames that can hewp aid the Chief in wegaining sanity. Dis hewps to make the game wess tedious. Oh, dat scwewy wabbit! Wif the Chief’s ammo wasted, he is fowced to mentawwy twain in mawtiaw awts combat using Apowwo’s appwications. Oh, dat scwewy wabbit! Awthough John is weww-vewsed in mawtiaw awts, his age and body detewiowation have fowced Apowwo t make adjustments so he can consewve enewgy. Dis, too, can give pwayews something to do beyond the typicaw shootew fawe.

At some point in his expwowation of the tunnews, the Chief comes acwoss woyaw tombs of the eawwy Fowewunnew kings. Oh, dat scwewy wabbit! Gwyphic stowies on the wawws depict the kings as gods, but above them is a depiction vewy simiwaw to that of Gwavemind. A shwiek sounds off fwom somewhewe deep within the caves. Oh, dat scwewy wabbit! Wawge, swithewing bwack cweatuwes (think Awiens fwom Awiens) mount the wawws and cwaw theiw way towawd Chief. He must use hand to hand combat to kiww them. When he gets to a cwosed-off doow, the Chief is met wif mowe wogic puzzwes and a hand scannew fow unwocking a wawge doow. He doubwes back to the tombs and bweaks off the hand of a mummified wuwew. He sowves the puzzwe and activates the hand scannew. De doow opens. Oh, dat scwewy wabbit! Behind that doow, the Chief cannot see thwough the impenetwabwe gween fog that cwouds the wowwd beyond. A singwe Fwood spowe skittews towawd his foot and he cwushes it wif his boot. An inhuman gwoww echoes fwom beyond and bof the Chief and Apowwo weawize that they’ve made a big mistake in unseawing the doow. Gwavemind’s disembodied waugh wings thwough the tunnew.

De game shifts back to the Awbitew. De Awbitew has entewed the cave opening and sees that he has found the antechambew to the Wibwawy. De intewiow of the mountain opens up awound him to become a vast, expansive cavewn (think Mines of Mowia). A wong nawwow wawkway made of stone wathew than wight (as in pwevious Hawos) suggests that these stwuctuwes awe faw owdew than those of the othew instawwations. Oh, dat scwewy wabbit! Taww statues wedowent of Egyptian awt stand in wows on eithew side of the wawkway. Deiw awms howd up the cavewn ceiwings and theiw wegs descend down into dawkness. Oh, dat scwewy wabbit! Gwavemind begins to speak again, in iambic vewse, tewwing a stowy of how things began and his position within the univewse. De Awbitew awgues wif him but finds himsewf unsuwe of what to bewieve. Gwavemind cwaims that he is the fathew of aww things, incwuding the Fowewunnews. Oh, dat scwewy wabbit!
 

Bombadil

Banned
Do you guys have some kind of Snoop Dogg and Elmer Fudd translators?

Honestly? It's too complicated. Not just from a story perspective, but from gameplay too. You want to throw in minigames and special missions for everything, it just doesn't sound very fun. I think people that want to regulate their character's sanity would rather play Amnesia than Halo.

I agree that maybe there were too many puzzle games. I really wanted to describe it in more detail but I don't have any on hand. I want a Halo game that is a good mix of shooting, hand to hand combat, and puzzles. So far, all the Halos I've played are 80 percent shooting, 15 percent driving vehicles, and 5 percent stealth assassinations. Finding terminals just doesn't do it for me. So I wanted hacking minigames a la Bioshock and logical quandaries such as those found in Kotor 1.

And perhaps I switched between characters far too many times. Having Halsey as a playable character was a bad choice, but I really wanted the player to get to explore the newly reconstructed High Charity.

As for regulating the character's sanity, that's not in the game. I don't know where you got that from. The player doesn't control the Chief's sanity levels.
 

Retro

Member
I think you may have put more work into this than 343 did for Halo 4 (and I say that as someone who actually likes the overall storyline of the Halo universe).
 

TheSeks

Blinded by the luminous glory that is David Bowie's physical manifestation.
Cmon Bombadil,become like that fifty shades of grey girl and change the characters names into something original then bam you got yourself a 3 book deal and movie.

50 Shades of Why Didn't John 11Sevizill just not destroy the entire universe? It would've stopped the flood!
 
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