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mu cephei · Apr 11, 2017

Theme - "Fusion"

Word Limit: 2400

Submission Deadline: Friday 21st April by 11:59 PM Pacific.

Voting Deadline: Monday 24th April at 11:59 PM Pacific.

Optional Secondary Objective: Wretched Excess

(Pinched from 20 Master Plots). eg. People who push the limits of acceptable behaviour; those who inhabit the margins of society; people driven to extremes. etc.

Submission Guidelines:

- One entry per poster.
- All submissions must be written during the time of the challenge.
- Using the topic as the title of your piece is discouraged.
- Keep to the word count!

Voting Guidelines:

- Three votes per voter. Please denote in your voting your 1st (3 pts), 2nd (2 pts), and 3rd (1 pt) place votes.
- Please read all submissions before voting.
- You must vote in order to be eligible to win the challenge.
- When voting ends, the winner gets a collective pat on the back, and starts the new challenge.

Important side note: A lot of our regulars like to write out short critiques/comments for the stories, but you can always opt out by simply adding a note like "I'd prefer no critiques" in the post where you submit your story. We're an understanding group and respect that not everyone wants comments on their work. Above all, we just want to read your story.

NeoGAF Creative Writing Challenge FAQ
Previous Challenge Threads and Themes

Freeza Under The Shower · Apr 11, 2017

Fusion and people at the fringes drive to extremes, huh?

"Piccolo-san, please fuse with me!"
"Gohan.."
*excited gasp from Gohan*
"No."
*bows, flies off crying like a bitch*

Mike M · Apr 11, 2017

mu cephei said:
Optional Secondary Objective: Wretched Excess

(Pinched from 20 Master Plots). eg. People who push the limits of acceptable behaviour

Like, say, those who don't stick to deadlines?

Noisy Ninj4 · Apr 11, 2017

Space pirates.

Cyan · Apr 11, 2017

Noisy Ninj4 said:
Space pirates.

Ridley.

Carlisle · Apr 12, 2017

Mike M said:
Like, say, those who don't stick to deadlines?

I thought this too. Maybe I can push it even further. Go beyond. Transcend order and become chaos.

FlowersisBritish · Apr 12, 2017

Looks fun. Incidentally, if there is one word my friends have used to describe me, it's eXtreme.

mu cephei · Apr 12, 2017

Mike M said:
Like, say, those who don't stick to deadlines?

lolol.

No, but now I'm tempted to change the word limit to 5000.

Noisy Ninj4 said:
Space pirates.

Yes please.

Royal_Flush · Apr 13, 2017

I just got an idea. Question is if I should just because I (maybe) could.

I totally should. And we will collectively regret it

Cyan · Apr 14, 2017

Hey dudes, probably not going to make the hangout on Sunday. Sry.

Nezumi · Apr 15, 2017

Cyan said:
Hey dudes, probably not going to make the hangout on Sunday. Sry.

Me neither, Easter is always busy with family stuff.

The Shadow · Apr 21, 2017

#entry

Seoul Food

Nezumi · Apr 21, 2017

So, since the tyrant was successfully brought down it is save to assume that we'll go back to be more flexible with the deadlines, right?
Finally had an idea but won't have time till tomorrow to actually write it...

mu cephei · Apr 21, 2017

I'm going on holiday tomorrow and will have limited or no internet access (I probably won't be entering partly because it's unlikely I can vote).

Therefore there will be no thread maintenance/ interference from me anyway and anarchy is free to reign.

FlowersisBritish · Apr 21, 2017

I also have a bunch of stuff I'm doing this weekend. Which is why I decided to finish my #entry ahead of time

Tomin the White Wolf - about 2,400 words usual password (quote to see)

Royal_Flush · Apr 22, 2017

#highconcept #entry

https://www.dropbox.com/s/5uo1g374hadpg8j/streams_layout.pdf?dl=0

Remember, you brought this onto yourself when you didn't stop me...

(a bit less then 2400 words. I had to start cutting single sentences and words again...)

Mike M · Apr 22, 2017

Unfortunately, this challenge dropped during a crunch week for me, and I haven't been able to get around to it. I guess I'll invoke my annual case abstinence on this one.

Cyan · Apr 22, 2017

Mike M said:
Unfortunately, this challenge dropped during a crunch week for me, and I haven't been able to get around to it. I guess I'll invoke my annual case abstinence on this one.

Mikey no!

Carlisle · Apr 22, 2017

I'm so disappointed I won't finish my idea in time, as it was going to dip into the autobiographical. The topic was right up my alley!

So instead I summarized it in a haiku, which will have to serve as my #entry this week. Next week will be much less busy.

'Goodbye' in two tongues.
'Nice to meet you' in just one.
And you chose poorly.

Tangent · Apr 22, 2017

Not Your Typical Advice on How to Meet a Girl (1,305 words)

#entry

Cyan · Apr 22, 2017

The Just Thief (~900)

#entry

Nezumi · Apr 22, 2017

OK, finally home. Gonna wolf down some food and then type as if my life depends on it.

~~Edit: Or not. Can't bring myself to get started, I'm just too fucking tired.~~

~~Edit, edit: Well, since I started to feel miserable when I decided not to write, I guess I better write, huh?~~

Last edit: I Guess, brutal force isn't gonna cut it this time. Brain just doesn't want to put out words at a speed that would let me finish this story in the next three hours, and to keep you guys waiting even longer would be ridiculous. I'm gonna blame my phone's battery for this. Stupid thing keeps shutting down my phone after minutes when not plugged in, so I couldn't start writing during breaks like I wanted to... yeah.. totally my phone's fault...

Ashes · Apr 22, 2017

Last call in less than fifteen minutes.

disappeared · Apr 22, 2017

Ashes said:
Last call in less than fifteen minutes.

Somewhere there's a guy with a pencil and paper sitting at a bar panicking.

Ashes · Apr 22, 2017

Entries:

The Shadow - untitled
FlowersisBritish - Tomin the White Wolf
Royal_Flush - Streams
Carlisle - First Day of School
Tangent - Not Your Typical Advice on How to Meet a Girl
Cyan - The Just Thief

FlowersisBritish · Apr 22, 2017

Happened to have time and since these are all pretty short stories some votes

1. Royal_Flush
2. Tangent
3. The Shadow

Royal_Flush · Apr 23, 2017

I'm a bit bummed we have so few entries this time. Difficult prompt, though.

The Shadow - Seoul Food: I really like the dialogue, feels very natural. I'm not so sure I buy the sudden change of mind from Korean to Indian/Thai, food, though.

FlowersisBritish - Tomin the White Wolf: That wasn't bad, but I honestly think your strength is in calmer entries. The blood of the wolf when near death being perceived as mother's milk to initiate rebirth as beast is a metaphor you can be proud of.

Carlisle - First Day of School: ~~#2deep4me. Seriously though, without context I only get a general feeling of what it is supposed to convey but not the intended story/message.~~ Wait, I think I got it now. Praise the title.

Tangent - Not Your Typical Advice on How to Meet a Girl: Maybe I just can't relate as I commute by public transportation, but it feels quite over the top. And a bit creepy tbh.

Cyan - The Just Thief: It's well written and all, but it's a bit sad the whole story becomes very, very obvious only a few sentences into the second target.

Royal_Flush - Streams: I'm doing a bit of a post-mortem here, so read if you're interested or skip straight to the rating, I don't mind. After I had the idea of literally fusing two storylines I toyed around with some ideas but the current setup was the one that felt least awkward. I'm actually quite prous of how I introduced the two different storylines, firt one, then the other, then both, then fused. Only thing that's bugging me is how I had to introduce the "dimensional twitch" before having both stories parallel, but I neither had enough space nor ideas to fill the Swedish day otherwise. Originally I had both set in the same location and wanted to do a dreamscene, where the colors switch place (so A's dream would take place in B's universe) but a quich Prove of Prnciple showed that that was very confusing. I actually only realized halfway through the story that "Ström" is the Swedish word for stream. That was after I decided to have a trasdmensional particle stream. So I had the perfect title because it's albout two Sundströms... All in all, I still feel like my writing style needs quite some improvements to be on par with what some of you put out here regulary.

Votes:

1. The Shadow
2. FlowerisBRitish
3. Tangent

choodi · Apr 23, 2017

Royal_Flush said:
I'm a bit bummed we have so few entries this time. Difficult prompt, though.

I'll be back for the next challenge. Had a busy couple of weeks and didn't manage to finish my story.

The Shadow · Apr 23, 2017

1. FlowersisBritish - Tomin The White Wolf
2. Royal_Flush - Streams
3. Tangent - Not Your Typical Advice on How to Meet a Girl

Quick thoughts:

FlowersisBritish - The dialog was a little simplistic for my tastes, and I thought the motivations of the knights could have been explored better, particularly to differentiate the three of them. Some of the actions that the knights took seemed to come out of nowhere because of this. On the other hand, the action descriptions were fantastic, and I found myself 'seeing' things happen rather than reading about it. Nicely done.

Royal_Flush - Coincidentally, my first idea had a similar core involving multiverses. Normally I'm not a big fan of stories that utilize text changes as a story telling device, but I thought it worked well here. I think I'd still prefer a traditional 'ending' though.

Tangent - The weariness was well expressed here, though I thought it got a little preachy and whiny. They weren't uninteresting thoughts, I just felt like I wanted more meat to them. Maybe why he/she felt that way or how they came to be that way? I don't know. Still, I thought the overall story was solid.

Cyan - Feel a bit shallow when it comes to my thoughts on this story. It's well written and felt a bit almost like a fable, and as such it would have been nice to have a "lesson" attached to it. I think I've just butted heads with too many stubborn people to enjoy it in entertainment. lol More of a reflection of the environment that I grew up in than anything else.

Carlisle - I...I don't get it. I'm so sorry.

Alucard · Apr 23, 2017

Goddamn I missed this one too. I have a story that's half finished but I will respect the deadline and not try to push it on you guys last minute. Maybe I can salvage it and use it for the next challenge if I can get the theme to fit somehow.

Nezumi · Apr 24, 2017

Votes:

1.)Tangent
2.)Flowers
3.)Royal_Flush

Tangent · Apr 25, 2017

Impressive that some people read all stories and voted even if they didn't participate this time around!

I'm curious to know what Carlisle's full entry would have been....

Votes:
1. The Shadow
2. FlowersisBritish
3. Royal_Flush

Cyan · Apr 25, 2017

Votes:
1. Royal_Flush - "Streams"
2. Tangent - "Not Your Typical Advice on How to Meet a Girl"
3. FlowersisBritish - "Tomin the White Wolf"

Nezumi · Apr 25, 2017

1.) Royal_Flush - Streams
2.) FlowersisBritish - Tormin the White Wolf
3.) Tangent - Not Your Typical Advice On How To Meet a Girl

Vote Count:

Royal_Flush - 10 (2)
FlowersisBritish - 10 (1)
Tangent - 9 (1)
The Shadow - 7 (2)

Congratulations Royal_Flush!

Royal_Flush · Apr 25, 2017

Thanks a lot! I want especially express my gratitude towards my family, John, who always-- What, that's way over the top? Well, there, have your thread then...

http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?p=234688135

Nezumi · Apr 30, 2017

Edit: wrong thread...

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