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Infernal Monkey · Feb 28, 2008

IT'S FINALLY HAPPENED. =D

Phoenix is proud to introduce its brand new revolutionary Nintendo Wii Range, aiming to bring true gaming pleasure with the trademark Phoenix budget price tag.

The following games are set for release during 2008*:
*For more details please refer to the release schedule page

# 12 (Games Compendium with 12 Games)
# Adventures of Pinocchio
# Cinderella's Fairy Tale
# Coral Reef Saviour
# Dalmatians 4
# Flood
# Jungle Crew
# Lion and the King 3
# Love Heart
# Monster Dessert
# Peter Pan's Playground
# Princess Snow White
# Rat-a-Box
# Valentines Day

Goal, goal, gooooooooal

Looks like they'll be hitting DS too, first lot released in April. Get excited!

Judging by the names, the likes of Dalmations 4 will be a port of the PS2's Dalmations 3, which was a port of the PSone's Dalmations 2.. same cartoon again and again!

Bring on London Cab Challenge, it was virtually impossible to control on the PS2, I'd love to see what Phoenix could do to the Wii's motion controls. Tilt left and the taxi reverses, tilt right and the taxi clips through the ground and so forth. A true simulation.

For those that haven't yet experienced the joys, I've been capturing some of Phoenix's bin-juice soaked disasters on YouTube, like uh London Cab Challenge, White Van Racer and Animal Soccer World. They've pumped out over ninety PS2 games in the space of four years. Can they beat their record on the Wii?

_Alkaline_ · Feb 28, 2008

Lion and the King?

:lol

AniHawk · Feb 28, 2008

Maybe Disney will finally murder them.

batbeg · Feb 28, 2008

This isn't a blowjob...

and :lol at Lion and the King - fucking shameless.

Wait, why the hell have you been buying their games?!

Pachael · Feb 28, 2008

Hey, Valentines Day looks good.
When Phoenix Games develops for your system, you know you've won the console wars.

Danne-Danger · Feb 28, 2008

Wait, you were on the fence for buying Persona 3... and... you're buying Phoenix games?

*Oh god Cab Challenge.

Polari · Feb 28, 2008

"True gaming pleasure" would be Manhunt 2 based in their offices.

Infernal Monkey · Feb 28, 2008

Danne-Danger said:
Wait, you were on the fence for buying Persona 3... and... you're buying Phoenix games?

*Oh god Cab Challenge.

But I could buy like thirty billion Phoenix Games.. games for the price of one Persona 3!

I am a crafty consumer.

batbeg · Feb 28, 2008

I'm watcing those videos now and it's actually making me wonder... do you think the people who make these games feel incompetent and ashamed? I don't think I could do that shit unless I hated games.

Lobster · Feb 28, 2008

Phoenix is proud to introduce its brand new revolutionary Nintendo Wii Range, aiming to bring true gaming pleasure with the trademark Phoenix budget price tag.

THANK THE LORD!

Vorador · Feb 28, 2008

In a bad way, these games are Awesome

Makes me wonder how they haven't been sued yet :lol

Kipz · Feb 28, 2008

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I have never been this generally afraid of games actually being released. They are just so terrible, they don't even deserve to be sold on any console at any retailer for any price.

justchris · Feb 28, 2008

batbeg said:
I'm watcing those videos now and it's actually making me wonder... do you think the people who make these games feel incompetent and ashamed? I don't think I could do that shit unless I hated games.

I think they are soulless beasts who hate gaming and gamers, and have hatched a cunning plan to induce suffering.

thetrin · Feb 28, 2008

I love Phoenix Games. Constant source of hilarity. :lol

CrushDance · Feb 28, 2008

These guys again?...

Edit: :lol @ White Van racer!

itsinmyveins · Feb 28, 2008

Sweet.

And the titles, oh the titles, they're so brilliant. Someone at that company is a comedic genious. I mean, "Lion and the King"? :lol

Luckyman · Feb 28, 2008

We boast the shortest time required from development to product release in the industry. Ordinarily the average development period for a game is 18 months, whereas Phoenix need a mere 3-5 months.

In the case of fixed costs we are suppressing development costs per product unit by maximizing the sales volume through a low cost strategy and also both diminishing advertising and promotional costs and maximizing operating profits by securing a dependable fan base through an identifying packaging of a series.

Although the ranges will be sold at low retail prices, they will not be short on quality. The retail price points are incredibly competitive considering the quality of the content.

http://www.phoenixgamesgroup.com/uk/company.html

:lol :lol

They are proud. Fanbase? Quality of the content?

VOOK · Feb 28, 2008

I think they are referring to the same sort of pleasure the gay members of GAF enjoy.

or some such thing

Azure Dream · Feb 28, 2008

I just saw London Cab Challenge for Wii in a Gamestop last night. Very impressed at how ugly it looked on the back of the packaging.

VOOK · Feb 28, 2008

Kulock said:
I just saw London Cab Challenge for Wii in a Gamestop last night. Very impressed at how ugly it looked on the back of the packaging.

This shit is already out?

santouras · Feb 28, 2008

wow@cab challenge.........

Mr. Pointy · Feb 28, 2008

My friend bought Extreme Sprint 3010 for shits and giggles.

Shits and giggles is exactly what that game is.

I'm hoping for a Wii-port.

Roi · Feb 28, 2008

I thought Phoenix Wright ;(

Infernal Monkey · Feb 28, 2008

Kulock said:
I just saw London Cab Challenge for Wii in a Gamestop last night. Very impressed at how ugly it looked on the back of the packaging.

I think you've gotten it a bit confused with Data Design's equally outstanding effort. =)

Mr. Pointy said:
My friend bought Extreme Sprint 3010 for shits and giggles.

Shits and giggles is exactly what that game is.

I'm hoping for a Wii-port.

Ahahaha, Extreme Sprint 3010 is the only game to ever give me motion sickness! The POWER of Phoenix!

VOOK · Feb 28, 2008

I have to ask Infernal Monkey, why do you buy this crap >_>

Infernal Monkey · Feb 28, 2008

I don't know.

Borys · Feb 28, 2008

Lion and the King?

What's next?

The Beast and a Beauty?

Lobster · Feb 28, 2008

Luckyman said:
http://www.phoenixgamesgroup.com/uk/company.html

:lol :lol

They are proud. Fanbase? Quality of the content?

We boast the shortest time required from development to product release in the industry. Ordinarily the average development period for a game is 18 months, whereas Phoenix need a mere 3-5 months.

boast

:lol :lol :lol

PolyGone · Feb 28, 2008

Why didn't they port their shovelware games too?

DECK'ARD · Feb 28, 2008

White Van Racer makes Sega Rally look amateurish.

A masterpiece.

Fredescu · Feb 28, 2008

People want to know why we get more sequels and spin offs than new IPs? This shit is the reason.

RubberJohnny · Feb 28, 2008

So the Wii is now home to loads of games from some of the worst developers in the industry. When can we say the same for the best?

batbeg · Feb 28, 2008

PolyGone said:
Why didn't they port their shovelware games too?

This shit is so low-quality it's probably just as easy to make a new game...

VOOK · Feb 28, 2008

3-5 months.

3-5 months.

3-5 months.

It takes longer for a good shit then that, and the product is usually better.

scitek · Feb 28, 2008

Nash said:
White Van Racer makes Sega Rally look amateurish.

A masterpiece.

Dude, it has an unlockable!:lol

Jcgamer60 · Feb 28, 2008

Why the hell was I thinking phoenix wright when i clicked this thread.

later · Feb 28, 2008

The cars and trees appearing in london cab challenge a mere meter away from you does give it that extra challenge.

TJ Spyke · Feb 28, 2008

Since Disney would sue their asses off, I don't expect to see a US release for most of these. So enjoy your exclusive shovelware Europe. :lol

I guess this solidifies Wii as #1 since Phoenix Games is moving on from the PlayStation 2 and the Wii now gets coloring books and games that look like they cost $500 to make.

As a Wii supporter I am always glad to see more support, but having Phoenix Games supporting you is like saying that $2 hooker on the street corner supports you.

scitek · Feb 28, 2008

TJ Spyke said:
games that look like they cost $500 to make.

wat

zooL · Feb 28, 2008

Damn. I thought this was about Phoenix Wright-games coming to Wii.

TJ Spyke · Feb 28, 2008

You're right, i'm over-estimating. :lol

lastendconductor · Feb 28, 2008

Cab Challenge looks challenging.

tabsina · Feb 28, 2008

Wow.. the mind can be deceiving.. somehow i read the title as:
"Phoenix Wright Games "aiming to bring true gaming pleasure" to the wii"

suffice to say ..i'm very disappointed

B_Rik_Schitthaus · Feb 28, 2008

The funny thing is every thing is there to make an ok game.
I bet if I was in charge for 3-5 months they could put out a good 2d platform game.

I rule

JoshuaJSlone · Feb 28, 2008

I think Phoenix Games is the video game equivalent of Be Kind Rewind.

DXB-KNIGHT · Feb 28, 2008

The_Dude · Feb 28, 2008

Wow, I knew they would be bad, but those videos have blown me away :lol I thought it odd London Cab Challenge's title theme sounded like it was from a horror game, then I discovered that it is a horror game!

Sadist · Feb 28, 2008

I thought it was Phoenix Wright

Gagaman · Feb 28, 2008

Oh god, it was bound to happen eventually. :lol

Haunted · Feb 28, 2008

:lol I fucking called it.

I believe Phoenix Games was the last of the well-known shovelware devs who hadn't made the jump from the PS2 to the Wii yet. So the transition is complete.

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