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[Mister Wilhelm]

Bitter? What, exactly, do you presume to know about me?

I'll keep my cynicism towards the creepy douche bags I've met over the past 8 years, and take their lecherous words and behaviour at face value, thank you very much.

Meanwhile, you're entitled to read some of those articles I linked to, provided they aren't the hot button issue that they seem to be for you.

I presume to know what you literally just admitted in the next sentence: you're bitter about the situation.

That situation, by the way, is not a hot button for me - someone posting something incredibly sexist under the assumption they are promoting healthy discussion of a topic is a problem, however.

Well, perhaps the reasons for one side is considerably less flattering and misguided than the other? It's not like you see rich, older Asian women preying on young, poor white men, or do you? There's a huge imbalance when you consider gender and their countries economy.

I've personally had three wealthy women try to basically buy a relationship with me. I'm not saying that there is no imbalance. I am not saying there are not men that use that imbalance to take advantage of women.

I am saying there are plenty of women here that will absolutely not date within their own race and only want foreigners for many of the same reasons as the men want them, and it is sexist to ignore that fact to paint a picture of sole exploitation.

 

[ppor]

Regarding the first part of your post: yeah, you understood me correctly. Regarding identifying racism: that's the whole point of these discussions. Racism is more of a spectrum than a single label / identifier, and if you want to get technical just about any racially-motivated stance is racist, though within the confines of identity politics, sexual preference is a little easier to tackle considering it's plainly evident where the racial element of the equation begins and ends. From there, it's a matter of discussing effective ways to combat lines of thinking that can potentially harm various groups based on their backgrounds and circumstances.

The problem is that most people are so opposed to examining even the smallest situations as being potentially racist that it's extremely difficult to have a real conversation about it that doesn't regress into strawmen, deflections, feeling personally attacked and complaining that people who want to talk about it are the real racists, etc.

I think you're projecting, people are fine with discussing racism, but the OP was structured to be a minefield and overly-defensive about preconceived strawmen. Not gonna a good responses that way. Also give people more credit, there are numerous people here who understood your points.

The important thing to realize is we're all bad people.

Also Monocle has an excellent point that we're all raised in the same racist umbrella culture (to varying degrees), thus we all inherit societal biases regardless of how ideologically pure we strive to be. We are all flawed.

A politically-correct girl might avoid say "no blacks" in her profile and think of herself as progressive, but come judgement day Peter might look at her Facebook at the pearly gates and find out she's never dated a black guy and never masturbated to an Asian-American porn star. Sure that's way better than explicitly having a racist Tinder profile, but at a societal level she's just as impacted by "white beauty standards" as Tinder user conservativekkkmama6969.

 

[SinShep]

I don't even get why you would decide to make it publicly known by including a 'no [specific ethnicity here]' note on your dating profile, rather than doing the less disrespectful option of just declining offers from people of that ethnicity.

Even if it's more trouble, it doesn't paint you with a negative connotation that potential matches could get turned off by.

 

[True Savior]

I'm definitely more attracted to certain races and certain women with some characteristics . I welcome judgment. I don't see it as racism , just my biological spectrum partiality.

 

[kaioshade]

I don't even get why you would decide to make it publicly known by including a 'no [specific ethnicity here]' note on your dating profile, rather than doing the less disrespectful option of just declining offers from people of that ethnicity.

Even if it's more trouble, it doesn't paint you with a negative connotation that potential matches could get turned off by.

Because it still does not erase the underlying problems.

 

[entremet]

I also think the OP is missing one key thing. The cultural component.

It may be taboo to mention, but if we're talking about long term relationships, there may a people who want to have children that look like them.

Again, I have no issues dating or marrying any ethnicity, but to not be aware of that is naive.

 

[User 73706]

I think you're projecting, people are fine with discussing racism, but the OP was structured to be a minefield and overly-defensive about preconceived strawmen. Not gonna a good responses that way. Also give people more credit, there are numerous people here who understood your points.

Don't get me wrong, I absolutely appreciate the people in here that have actually read the article and take it for what it is, but at the same time those people generally aren't the ones that need to be reading it in the first place. If you go into virtually any GAF thread about sexual preferences or any thread about race relations (even this very thread!) there are always multiple posters who don't read the article and just stop by to remind everyone that they aren't racist and it's just not something that can be measured in racisms, or there are ones that do read the article (or at least the bolder in the OP) because they're only acknowledging that this data exists, rather than actually trying to do something with it.

There are a handful of posters that have used the information in the linked articles to form counter-arguments regarding its racial implications, and those are totally fine - they're an understandable, warranted, and encouraged part of the discussion. What's not okay is when people just go "I'm me, you can't explain that, people are who they are" with virtually no sources beyond their self-identity and unwillingness to be open to new ideas and expect it to fly as a cogent argument.

I framed the OP the way I did, very specifically so, so that it would clearly illustrate who actually bothered doing something with the information laid out and who's just here to sweep racism under the rug. There have been several posters that have come in here with warnings that their experiences are their own - personal anecdotes - and just as many have deliberately gone out of their way to discuss the way they view things when weighed against the bulk of the information the article presents, even if they're at odds with what that data is saying. Without an OP so structured and "provocative," as the first poster put it, these threads go to shit with the quickness. I'm just operating in a fashion so as to foster an actual discussion with all the faults and disparities conversations on race should have within GAF's TOS, rather than letting it turn into a screaming match that eventually expands to such broad, irrelevant information that the thread is promptly shut down.

 

[BreezyLimbo]

I also think the OP is missing one key thing. The cultural component.

It may be taboo to mention, but if we're talking about long term relationships, there may a people who want to have children that look like them.

Again, I have no issues dating or marrying any ethnicity, but to not be aware of that is naive.

True enough, and not only that but if you want the absolute best for your child, then well chances are you're going to try and go for the best possible 'skin color'(As fucked up as that sounds). Is it racist? Yeah, but it's also wanting your child to have a good life without problem, and there is nothing wrong with that.

There's alot of angles of looking at this, that it becomes harder and harder to just cover people in a blanket of racism because they won't date X or Y or prefer to day Z or A. But if they publically take to the forums to announce 'I won't date X', then yeah they're being racist. If it's internal though? How do we judge something that's never made public?

 

[Monocle]

Also Monocle has an excellent point that we're all raised in the same racist umbrella culture (to varying degrees), thus we all inherit societal biases regardless of how ideologically pure we strive to be. We are all flawed.

A politically-correct girl might avoid say "no blacks" in her profile and think of herself as progressive, but come judgement day Peter might look at her Facebook at the pearly gates and find out she's never dated a black guy and never masturbated to an Asian-American porn star. Sure that's way better than explicitly having a racist Tinder profile, but at a societal level she's just as impacted by "white beauty standards" as Tinder user conservativekkkmama6969.

That wasn't a serious remark, but based on your interpretation it might not have been that far off after all. I do think it's true we all have our biases, conscious and unconscious, and that by recognizing our susceptibility to prejudice we're enabled to compensate for it and respect each other's basic human dignity.

I mean, I've noticed the effect of white beauty standards in my own attractions, and I think the root of that must be social conditioning even though I was lucky to be raised in diverse neighborhoods and attend fairly diverse schools. It is what it is. I can't change what turns me on, but I can decide that racism is bullshit and I'm not going to let it influence my social life and dating habits if I can help it.

People who exclude whole ethnic groups in their dating profiles close themselves off to a lot of possibilities. It goes to show how much of a social construct race really is when you see people making exceptions to their silly racial exclusion policies because someone is hot enough or white enough to make them feel comfortable.

 

[User 73706]

I also think the OP is missing one key thing. The cultural component.

It may be taboo to mention, but if we're talking about long term relationships, there may a people who want to have children that look like them.

Again, I have no issues dating or marrying any ethnicity, but to not be aware of that is naive.

What I don't understand about the children argument is, like... unless your family was built on inbreeding, in what world are you not going to want your children to represent a sum greater than its parts between you and your partner? I can't imagine my children just popping out like Pokemon hatching and taking almost entirely after a single parent. Not to mention genetics are such a roller-coaster in the first place that you could marry the whitest, most upper-class-est person in they world and they could still be born with recessive traits not explicitly matching your or your partner's appearance, genetic defects, etc.

The "I want my kids to look like me" argument just strikes me as selfish and completely disregards your partner's wishes for the same.

 

[number47]

I would like to know who is making these requirements more often? Men or Women?
I can't recall meeting a guy who wouldn't date a hot woman due to her race.

 

[Moff]

But if it is culturally and socially based it can change, right? Being open to different races and exposing yourself to others could help you overcome your ingrained preferences. Also, you kinda ignored the second thing I wrote about diversity within specific races. Do you agree that rejecting an entire race can only be fueled by racism and is not founded in 'preferences'?

yes I do agree on that, I also wrote earlier in the thread that I think it is indeed racist.
I also agree that it CAN change, maybe not so much on the individual who is 20+ but as a long term goal for a whole society. I also think it's good that awareness about this issue is raised through articles like that.

I just don't think people can simply flip their preferences like a switch, especially when they're older. me personally I like completely fucked up women, the paler the better, I have been into metal and gothic for a very long time. and even as someone who is very mindful about issues like that I don't see my preferences ever changing. and most people are not as mindful as me.
so I think that "it's their preference, they just can't help it" is a valid thing to say and especially in online dating, where attractive people and especially women can pretty much pick whoever they want, it doesn't surprise me to see ads like that. but yeah, it is racist and I would personally never do that but mostly because looks are not *that* important to me, despite my preferences, but if someone is in the position who can pick anyone (I am certainly not) I can somehow understand to have such a filter.

 

[Pilgrimzero]

"We are all the same color in the dark".

or as my friend put it:

"It's all pink in the middle"

 

[OldAsUrSock]

I also think the OP is missing one key thing. The cultural component.

It may be taboo to mention, but if we're talking about long term relationships, there may a people who want to have children that look like them.

Again, I have no issues dating or marrying any ethnicity, but to not be aware of that is naive.

If you only want kids that look like you then you are conceited.

 

[entremet]

What I don't understand about the children argument is, like... unless your family was built on inbreeding, in what world are you not going to want your children to represent a sum greater than its parts between you and your partner? I can't imagine my children just popping out like Pokemon hatching and taking almost entirely after a single parent. Not to mention genetics are such a roller-coaster in the first place that you could marry the whitest, most upper-class-est person in they world and they could still be born with recessive traits not explicitly matching your or your partner's appearance, genetic defects, etc.

The "I want my kids to look like me" argument just strikes me as selfish and completely disregards your partner's wishes for the same.

Again, many sociologist for a long time prevented the adoption of black kids to white parents due to the cultural component, reasoning that white parents may not provide a black identity for the kid.

This was only recently. Decades ago and recommended by people with PhDs.

Obviously in hindsight, it was abhorrent. But if the educated class was just recommending this stuff, what do you think of the thoughts and attitudes of "regular" folks?

Again, I'm not defending, but it's pretty obvious it exists.

Same reason why Russia has a big adoption market--caucasian babies, which are rarer for adoption in the US.

 

[BreezyLimbo]

What I don't understand about the children argument is, like... unless your family was built on inbreeding, in what world are you not going to want your children to represent a sum greater than its parts between you and your partner? I can't imagine my children just popping out like Pokemon hatching and taking almost entirely after a single parent. Not to mention genetics are such a roller-coaster in the first place that you could marry the whitest, most upper-class-est person in they world and they could still be born with recessive traits not explicitly matching your or your partner's appearance, genetic defects, etc.

The "I want my kids to look like me" argument just strikes me as selfish and completely disregards your partner's wishes for the same.

I dunno why you immediately go to 'You want to inbreed or something?' argument. I took what he said-'I want my child to look like me', as 'I want to marry someone who's the same ethnicity' as me. And yeah, there is a chance your child will come out mental defects, or with a few physical defects, and that's a completely different situation. That can also happen if you marry someone with a completely different ethnicity, it's not unique to marrying someone of the same ethnicity.

And yeah, passing on your genetics is completely selfish. That's uh, that's how procreation works, it's a selfish want of wanting your genetic material to continue on. Bringing another life into this world, without giving it a choice, is completely selfish.

 

[pelicansurf]

A hot girl is a hot girl is a hot girl.

 

[Bilix]

I also think the OP is missing one key thing. The cultural component.

It may be taboo to mention, but if we're talking about long term relationships, there may a people who want to have children that look like them.

Again, I have no issues dating or marrying any ethnicity, but to not be aware of that is naive.

I don't understand this at all. There's a question on OKCupid that basically asks if it's important that your child be the same race as you. I'm very surprised at how many select that it is important. I've filtered out a lot of people because of this question.

 

[Glendemonium]

I also think the OP is missing one key thing. The cultural component.

It may be taboo to mention, but if we're talking about long term relationships, there may a people who want to have children that look like them.

Again, I have no issues dating or marrying any ethnicity, but to not be aware of that is naive.

Interracial couples make it work, kids still look like their parents save for the slightly darker skin complexion.

 

[entremet]

I don't understand this at all. There's a question on OKCupid that basically asks if it's important that your child be the same race as you. I'm very surprised at how many select that it is important. I've filtered out a lot of people because of this question.

You may not understand, but it's clearly observed.

Again that's only one component. I know many Jewish young people, who only want to date people of Jewish descent, even though they're not practicing or may be agnostic or atheists.

Cultural identity is a huge thing.

Interracial couples make it work, kids still look like their parents save for the slightly darker skin complexion.

I'm not saying it's not possible. I'm just saying that people consider this behavior and it may even be subconscious.

Again, I personally don't care myself. People are people to me. But to not be aware of this social trend, which is as old as civilization, is naive.

 

[User 73706]

I dunno why you immediately go to 'You want to inbreed or something?' argument. I took what he said-'I want my child to look like me', as 'I want to marry someone who's the same ethnicity' as me. And yeah, there is a chance your child will come out mental defects, or with a few physical defects, and that's a completely different situation. That can also happen if you marry someone with a completely different ethnicity, it's not unique to marrying someone of the same ethnicity.

And yeah, passing on your genetics is completely selfish. That's uh, that's how procreation works, it's a selfish want of wanting your genetic material to continue on. Bringing another life into this world, without giving it a choice, is completely selfish.

Right, and what I'm saying is the "my ethnicity only" component is ridiculous because it completely disregards the wants and needs of potential partners of other races who are probably looking for the exact same thing. Suggesting that "a child I can't identify with 100% genetically is no child of mine" is not only logistically impossible outside of asexual reproduction, but also completely devalues the concept of equal partnership and basically suggests your partner is nothing more than a vector for "relatable" kids regardless of what your partner may actually want in the first place. It seems like extremely outdated, selfish thinking that's only being used ITT to justify a subsection of overall racially-charged sexual preferences.

 

[AnathemicOne]

"I'm not racist, I've dated black guys."

--

Really though, the point is that "no xyz" is not sympathetic, but people who say they have a preference, or more importantly, don't even state their appearance, are no more racist.

I think that makes my prior posts have more clarity.

I'm a male and I prefer asian or white women generally based on appearance. Am I racist?

If I told you I was an asian male with those same preferences am I still racist?

I appreciate the article and if it's true that the above scenarios make me somewhat racist then I suppose I'm fine with that too, however, racism is often defined being hand-in-hand with malice be it directly or indirectly, and putting the male behind sexual preferences doesn't really sit right with me imo.

 

[entremet]

Right, and what I'm saying is the "my ethnicity only" component is ridiculous because it completely disregards the wants and needs of potential partners of other races who are probably looking for the exact same thing. Suggesting that "a child I can't identify with 100% genetically is no child of mine" is not only logistically impossible outside of asexual reproduction, but also completely devalues the concept of equal partnership and basically suggests your partner is nothing more than a vector for "relatable" kids regardless of what your partner may actually want in the first place. It seems like extremely outdated, selfish thinking that's only being used ITT to justify a subsection of overall racially-charged sexual preferences.

Sex, marriage, and procreation are intimately involved. I don't why this is surprising to you.

The romantic notion of marriage is actually relatively new, historically speaking. Marriage was primarily a unit to procreate.

 

[Kyuur]

It definitely fits the description of racism, perceiving all members of a race as less attractive than their counterparts. Ultimately it is of no consequence though, as no one is entitled to be found attractive by others. People who post 'NO BLACKS' or 'NO FATTIES' on dating profiles sure are boorish though.

 

[Sai-kun]

Great thread and OP, Sub-Zero. Seriously! I was just talking about this with some family over the weekend, and they were all really surprised to learn that racism is still so prevalent within the gay community.

Will continue reading the thread now

 

[Philippo]

Idk, i always thought there is some degree of racism in saying something similar.

But at the same time, if you ask me, i've never been attracted to black girls and i even hardly (or ever) look at them when i'm around.

Rationally, i simply don't find them attractive, exactly how i may not like girls with a specific clothing style, body feature etc., but maybe on the subconscious level i am applying some sort of racist filter.
Or maybe i've simply never met a real hot black girl lol

Still, great read OP, thanks!

 

[Zeus Molecules]

Like Big Pun said "I'll regulate every shade of the light" .... though when its all over don't expect me to pay bills or do chores "cause I'll dip to where my other chick's at"

I know its not 100% on topic but that is my philosophy when it comes to sexual preference and race.

 

[BreezyLimbo]

Right, and what I'm saying is the "my ethnicity only" component is ridiculous because it completely disregards the wants and needs of potential partners of other races who are probably looking for the exact same thing. Suggesting that "a child I can't identify with 100% genetically is no child of mine" is not only logistically impossible outside of asexual reproduction, but also completely devalues the concept of equal partnership and basically suggests your partner is nothing more than a vector for "relatable" kids regardless of what your partner may actually want in the first place. It seems like extremely outdated, selfish thinking that's only being used ITT to justify a subsection of overall racially-charged sexual preferences.

Nobody ever said 100% genetically? I mean, that's impossible anyway. And if you're looking for someone in the same ethnicity, chances are you'll never consider people from other races sexually. Whether or not that person decides to be open about it, IE "I won't date no blacks", or whether it's internal.

And yeah, alot of relationships tend to start out selfishly. "Wow, she/he is hot, I wanna get with them." And like I mentioned it's hard to put a blanket on anything, a couples needs may change or evolve depending on how their relationship goes. They may end up not wanting kids but end up getting kids one day, or vice versa.

It's complicated. And when a person looks to have a child, and wants the best for them...it gets more complicated. Like recently the sperm story, of the woman who ended up getting sperm from a black donor, she decided to first sue because of the difficulty of raising a biracial child would be. It's a very real issue.

 

[Caronte]

I don't see it as racism, just as being incredibly superficial where the looks or physical appearance are the most important thing above everything else. You form an image in your head of how that person should be and you ask for that. Incredibly dumb? Yes, but not necessarily racist.

 

[capitalCORN]

Race isn't even a valid biological categorization. Features are fluid between all ethnicities (as seen by "You can pass for" comments). Humanity is well past any biological need to limit breeding (outside of moral obligation). If someone picked out only physical attributes as a means of dating, you would call them shallow. Narrowing the field racially is needless and ultimately petty.

 

[Damerman]

When in reality it should be more like:

"I'm just not attracted to Filipinas."
*evidence showing racist sexual preferences are racist*
*reader synthesizes evidence*
"I get what you're saying, and I know racism can be any number of small things, but even then how do I have any control over my preferences?"
*"Educate yourself."*
*Reader cultures themselves by familiarizing concepts and cultures that are new or obtuse to them. The entire point is that change comes about by the desire to keep an open mind, stay progressive and be a good person, and not by acting like the only way to understand what you don't like is by fucking it*
"What I meant to say was I just haven't been attracted to any Filipinas I've met before, but I'm not ruling them out of the equation completely."

tl;dr people who don't want to acknowledge "preferences" may be racy will continue to deflect, e.g. "oh so I'm supposed to be screwing people I hate?" as opposed to, y'know, exploring some unknowns informatively rather than sexually

wellthereitis.gif

this is exactly what happened to me and how i approached the issue.

 

[Dreams-Visions]

As others have said in this thread. I don't how some one can say "I don't like (insert race here)". How the hell do you know that you aren't attracted to any black/white/Asian/mixed etc in the world? People that can simply rule out a person because of their skin colour are indeed racist. That doesn't mean people that have a preference are the same.

Agreed. Cutting off entire swaths of groups because of skin color is...sort of the definition of racism/prejudice. It's one thing if you're not attracted to an individual for x/y/z reasons, but damn. NO person of a/b/c background could ever have common ground and be attractive to your eyes? REALLY?

 

[Anton Sugar]

Right, and what I'm saying is the "my ethnicity only" component is ridiculous because it completely disregards the wants and needs of potential partners of other races who are probably looking for the exact same thing. Suggesting that "a child I can't identify with 100% genetically is no child of mine" is not only logistically impossible outside of asexual reproduction, but also completely devalues the concept of equal partnership and basically suggests your partner is nothing more than a vector for "relatable" kids regardless of what your partner may actually want in the first place. It seems like extremely outdated, selfish thinking that's only being used ITT to justify a subsection of overall racially-charged sexual preferences.

Wonderful post!

 

[R10Neymarfan]

Nobody ever said 100% genetically? I mean, that's impossible anyway. And if you're looking for someone in the same ethnicity, chances are you'll never consider people from other races sexually. Whether or not that person decides to be open about it, IE "I won't date no blacks", or whether it's internal.

And yeah, alot of relationships tend to start out selfishly. "Wow, she/he is hot, I wanna get with them." And like I mentioned it's hard to put a blanket on anything, a couples needs may change or evolve depending on how their relationship goes. They may end up not wanting kids but end up getting kids one day, or vice versa.

It's complicated. And when a person looks to have a child, and wants the best for them...it gets more complicated. Like recently the sperm story, of the woman who ended up getting sperm from a black donor, she decided to first sue because of the difficulty of raising a biracial child would be. It's a very real issue.

It remind sme of the issue in Brazil where dark skin women go after lighter skin and white males and pray that their child is of lighter skin and European features. It's so fucked

 

[BreezyLimbo]

It remind sme of the issue in Brazil where dark skin women go after lighter skin and white males and pray that their child is of lighter skin and European features. It's so fucked

Yeah...it's fucked.

 

[BladeoftheImmortal]

Proud to say I have no racism at all.

 

[SinShep]

Because it still does not erase the underlying problems.

That the person is racist? That isn't something that can get erased, only suppressed.

 

[Damerman]

True enough, and not only that but if you want the absolute best for your child, then well chances are you're going to try and go for the best possible 'skin color'(As fucked up as that sounds). Is it racist? Yeah, but it's also wanting your child to have a good life without problem, and there is nothing wrong with that.

There's alot of angles of looking at this, that it becomes harder and harder to just cover people in a blanket of racism because they won't date X or Y or prefer to day Z or A. But if they publically take to the forums to announce 'I won't date X', then yeah they're being racist. If it's internal though? How do we judge something that's never made public?

i think there is absolutely everything wrong with that. that mentality innately marginalizes darker skin, whether you realize it or not... and that is an issue that needs to be addressed because darker skinned people are human to and they have feelings just like any other light-skinned person.

I'm not gonna lie to your face and tell you that me and certain family members never considered to have our kids be on the "better" spectrum of skin tone and facial and hair phenotype, but I've learned not to think that way anymore and it's a very serious issue that needs to be rectified. because now darker skinned people begin to undervalue themselves and they dedicate their lives to procreating with a "better" race. it's not healthy.

 

[BreezyLimbo]

i think there is absolutely everything wrong with that. that mentality innately marginalizes darker skin... and that is an issue that needs to be addressed because darker skinned people are human to and they have feelings just like any other light-skinned person.

I'm not gonna lie to your face and tell you that me and certain family members never considered to have our kids be on the "better" spectrum of skin tone and facial and hair phenotype, but I've learned not to think that way anymore and it's a very serious issue that needs to be rectified.

The way I see it, is the way you think and approach things(IE that it's a serious issue that people think like this), and the way the world sees things. Yeah, we can say that NeoGAF is extremely progressive, and that we have likeminded people(Except for those 'stealth racists' that pop up here and there) on it, but the rest of the world doesn't see it like that. It's something you just have to consider. Even living in the USA, it's fucking scary how much racism there is. And we're considered a 1st world country. It's why it's fucked that wanting the best for your future children may involve..eugenics of sorts.

 

[SolidusDave]

Both can be true?

There are definitely cases in which people won't have sex with someone even though they/their body physically finds that person attractive. e.g. because they feel race x would be shameful for them / bring shame on them by others. They associate them with danger/criminals and so on. So they may even make a clear cut rule like no-blacks-ever.
That line of thinking goes into racism. (ironically, for others these factors are exactly why one wants to have sex with someone because it's breaking a taboo. That may still be racism lol )


But on the other hand I can definitely say that certain races have a much higher percentages of facial structures or even body shapes that I don't like. However, I would never exclude anyone that I DO find attractive and skin color by itself is a non-issue for me anyway.


Things could get more complicated if you bring in culture (i.e. certain races also having a specific cultural/religious identity/upbringing) and prejudice (true or not) that factors in when looking for more than just sex and can therefore impact attraction.

 

[Damerman]

The way I see it, is the way you think and approach things(IE that it's a serious issue that people think like this), and the way the world sees things. Yeah, we can say that NeoGAF is extremely progressive, and that we have likeminded people(Except for those 'stealth racists' that pop up here and there) on it, but the rest of the world doesn't see it like that. It's something you just have to consider. Even living in the USA, it's fucking scary how much racism there is. And we're considered a 1st world country. It's why it's fucked that wanting the best for your future children may involve..eugenics of sorts.

there is a long way to go, but playing eugenics because "the world is fucked" is undermining the huge amount of progress we've already made. I don't judge anyone who wants to do what you described. like i said, i have a cousin who admitted these things to me. He said that he will date black girls, but when it comes to his children he has much higher standards for a black woman to meet than he does for lighter skin girls.

I just want to be sure that we understand that this is an issue that needs fixing... not a natural physical law where we shrug and say "eh, what are you gonna do?"

 

[entremet]

The way I see it, is the way you think and approach things(IE that it's a serious issue that people think like this), and the way the world sees things. Yeah, we can say that NeoGAF is extremely progressive, and that we have likeminded people(Except for those 'stealth racists' that pop up here and there) on it, but the rest of the world doesn't see it like that. It's something you just have to consider. Even living in the USA, it's fucking scary how much racism there is. And we're considered a 1st world country. It's why it's fucked that wanting the best for your future children may involve..eugenics of sorts.

This is a good point.

NeoGAF is very progressive, but with that progressiveness comes naïveté on the realities of the world.

There's how the world is and how we want to the world to be.

I do hope the human race solves "racism", but I'm not hopeful sadly.

 

[Aske]

This is a good point.

NeoGAF is very progressive, but with that progressiveness comes naïveté on the realities of the world.

There's how the world is and how we want to the world to be.

I do hope the human race solves "racism", but I'm not hopeful sadly.

There will likely always be some form of discrimination along arbitrary cultural and sub-cultural lines, but I suspect this form of sexual discrimination based on race will quietly disappear as racial lines become increasingly blurred. You only need to meet a handful of "Erics" to realise you don't want or need a blanket "No Asians" on your dating profile - or in your mind.

 

[Greenzxy]

I can pretty much fuck everything.

 

[number47]

I can pretty much fuck everything.

D.a.D dicks against discrimination.

 

[Nastrodamous]

I am working on my own issues, even said as much before. dropping weight and bettering myself.

However it is hard to combat feelings of inadequacy when you are told - both on and offline that your skin color is undesirable.

Who is telling you your skin color is undesirable? Are you really going to let shitty people determine your self worth? I have never felt inadequate because I'm black some girl told me a few months ago I was everything she wanted but she wouldn't date me because I'm black I laughed in her face.why would I let somebody like that influence my self worth. Every women is not going to like you but its OK because there are plenty of all races and cultures who will.As long as you are comfortable with your self girls will be too. Just go out and talk to people you will be surprised by some of the responses you get.

 

[lostinblue]

I don't think Neogaf is *that* progressive even though it clearly wants to be, or rather I find a lot of places on the internet are like this, people try to behave with the pack in a mass histeria kind of thing, and the hip thing here is just that.

People you think are not racist from the way they express might be, even if slightly. I might be slightly from the moment I distinguish color in individuals and discern some cultural behaviours (although I both absorved some and tend to think of that not as race but as nationality, fact is it repeats in the area) but I do in discern some regardless of country on some Muslins, for instance. Does that make me prejudice against them? No, or maybe a little if they equal to the worst I've dealt with but there's a stigma for every nationality and race in the world, and we all know which are those even if we declare we're against them.

It's also not politically correct to suggest there's racism on the other way around, I've been called a racist for it... But I'm the one that lived in Africa for years, I honestly don't think some people understand everything quite a bit more complex than being one sided.

That's not being progressive, that's being over sensitive and creating taboo subjects, to be fair I hate how a lot of things are now taboo because society decided they are. They might be, but it feels like silly season when a misinterpreted guy who's not a racist, said something racist and gets fired for it and other ridiculous shenanigans that are common now.

Everyone's too sensible these days, specially on the internet and I don't think that's an asset.

There will likely always be some form of discrimination along arbitrary cultural and sub-cultural lines, but I suspect this form of sexual discrimination based on race will quietly disappear as racial lines become increasingly blurred. You only need to meet a handful of "Erics" to realise you don't want or need a blanket "No Asians" on your dating profile - or in your mind.

Demographic growth is happening in Africa and India as of now, so... Depending on how that goes and expands we're going to become increasingly mixed, yeah.

But I'm not so sure sexual discrimination based on race will disappear, somewhat unrelated but look at the refugee crisis now in europe, we're certainly not receiving them with arms wide open, there's a lot of stigma and a lot of blaming and I doubt a lot of people will marry their daughters due to both stigma and the fact they wouldn't want us to anyways. Second generation will have angst against those rules but will be chaotic and the third generation will be integrated but suffer from stigma.

You probably have to wait for 5 or so generations until nobody cares and even then old bias dies hard. Racism and Xenophobia in reality are a mix of fear of the unknown and lack of empathy/coexistence.

 

[M3d10n]

Problems like these made me change my stance fairly recently on forced representation and quotas. It's awkward and even unfair (in case of quotas), but it's necessary to break the perception feedback loop. Subconscious and "background" racial bias is very, very damaging and even people who fight for racial equality can engage in it without realizing.

 

[Ganzlinger]

I don't think Neogaf is *that* progressive even though it clearly wants to be, or rather I find a lot of places on the internet are like this, people try to behave with the pack in a mass histeria kind of thing, and the hip thing here is just that.

People you think are not racist from the way they express might be, even if slightly. I might be slightly from the moment I distinguish color in individuals and discern some cultural behaviours (although I both absorved some and tend to think of that not as race but as nationality, fact is it repeats in the area) but I do in discern some regardless of country on some Muslins, for instance. Does that make me prejudice against them? No, or maybe a little if they equal to the worst I've dealt with but there's a stigma for every nationality and race in the world, and we all know which are those even if we declare we're against them.

It's also not politically correct to suggest there's racism on the other way around, I've been called a racist for it... But I'm the one that lived in Africa for years, I honestly don't think some people understand everything quite a bit more complex than being one sided.

That's not being progressive, that's being over sensitive and creating taboo subjects, to be fair I hate how a lot of things are now taboo because society decided they are. They might be, but it feels like silly season when a misinterpreted guy who's not a racist, said something racist and gets fired for it and other ridiculous shenanigans that are common now.

Everyone's too sensible these days, specially on the internet and I don't think that's an asset.

I agree with this.

 

[User 73706]

Problems like these made me change my stance fairly recently on forced representation and quotas. It's awkward and even unfair (in case of quotas), but it's necessary to break the perception feedback loop.

My favorite's when it shows up on gaming-side.

"Halo 5: Guardians was nice and all, but all the representation on the new squad feels kind of forced."

Like, literally reading that sentence back over once is more than enough to realize "how the fuck do you force minorities to appear as main characters?" It's not like gaming has anything resembling affirmative action yet.