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[The_Inquisitor]

Was on twitter this evening and this beauty of an article popped up in my feed:

http://www.latimes.com/home/la-hm-erskine-20151010-column.html

I admire and adore the millennials. Obviously, it's because I am one.

That doesn't mean that we millennials, ages 18 to 34, can't do better. Below is a pledge all of us should take publicly, as per a bar mitzvah or a wedding, signifying a ceremonial crossing into adulthood.

Not that I recommend adulthood. But like broken hearts or hip replacements, we all eventually have one.

"The Millennial Pledge":

• I am entitled to nothing.

• I will show up on time.

• I will not shun comedians or college commencement speakers just because I don't agree with them.

• Just once, I will try driving without texting.

• Just once, I will try eating without texting.

• I will not consider the cilantro on my taco to be a vegetable.

• I will learn to laugh at everything, especially myself.

• When meeting someone for the first time, I will always look him or her in the eye.

• I will not burn bridges.

That's about half of his article. I think this article sums up the attitude I see against my generation. And honestly it deeply upsets me because my friends and I all work very hard, in spite of how hard the economy has been the past decade. The fact we live our lives in somewhat different of a manner is not something to be used against us, but a natural course of how society evolves. Certainly felt like a cheap shot I would not expect the LA Times to publish.

 

[LUFTRAUSER]

I think that these stereotypes aren't really as accurate anymore. I don't text while driving or eating at all and I never have.

 

[Dio]

These tenets apply to most people, really. I have no idea why any of these problems are considered particularly bad with 'millennials.'

 

[DOWN]

I thought it would be more noble than a pledge that would appeal to millennials

 

[The_Inquisitor]

Honestly it feels like a clickbait article that shouldn't be on a site such as the LA Times. I would ignore it but they need to be called out on this.

 

[Yamauchi]

I've noticed a trend in mainstream media where any article about so-called millennials borders on the absurd.

 

[MUnited83]

These tenets apply to most people, really. I have no idea why any of these problems are particularly bad with 'millennials.'

Its the old "look at how terrible the new generation is. LOOK AT IT" while ignoring that all previous ones were as shitty or shittier.

Old people yelling at clouds.

 

[Frankenstrat]

These tenets apply to most people, really. I have no idea why any of these problems are considered particularly bad with 'millennials.'

Because generalization sells newspapers.

 

[You Know Nothing]

It's tongue in cheek.

The guy's a humor columnist, y'all.

 

[Nanashrew]

I'm lost and confused. This sounds like a lot of people than just one generation group.

 

[Team Alucard]

Dude must have been hitting the drugs and alcohol pretty hard if he really is < 34. He looks late forties at best,

 

[Gus tha God]

He can go fuck himself. Buying that garbage that old folks are eating up.

Old people suck, young people are always better. It's the way it is.

 

[The_Inquisitor]

It's tongue in cheek.

The guy's a humor columnist, y'all.

Yeah but when your article's first line is:

I admire and adore the millennials. Obviously, it's because I am one.

You probably should consider whether your article makes sense to publish.

 

[Makai]

Dude must have been hitting the drugs and alcohol pretty hard if he really is < 34. He looks late forties at best,

Is that Walter White?

 

[Dio]

It's tongue in cheek.

The guy's a humor columnist, y'all.

Yeah, but does that mean his point is that none of these problems actually exist, and therefore making fun of people who actually believe these things about millennials?

Is his point 'exaggerating' often-repeated-in-news things about millennials, but he actually is acknowledging they exist, thus his admittance that he is one and saying that we should all shapen up?

I'm not getting what the joke is here.

 

[RageWaffles]

Judging by the quoted portion, that applies to my mom much better than it does me.


Ah, it was written by an old white guy. Now it makes sense.

 

[John Kowalski]

i am entitled to universal rights

 

[RDreamer]

Baby Boomers Pledge:

I will stop fucking over literally every generation that will come after me.

I will not shun other cultures or races simply because they're strange to me.

I very likely didn't get to where I am on merit and bootstraps alone.

 

[JesseEwiak]

 

[Liu Kang Baking A Pie]

Baby boomers ranting about entitlement will always be the most hilarious generational argument.

 

[Team Alucard]

Is that Walter White?

No, but he has probably done a bunch of blue sky if he's as young as he says he has.

 

[smurfx]

none of that stuff applies to me and i'm a millennial.

 

[Yaboosh]

Gerstmann?

 

[Awful Falafel]

• I will not burn bridges.

Of all the "kids these days" stereotypes this is a new one to me. When the heck did any generation get a reputation for this? Besides in certain cases this can be a very healthy thing to do.

 

[Freeza Under The Shower]

• I won't sneak texts during funerals even if it's "totally boring and the bereaved is just lying there anyway."

okay, this one got me. I don't think millennials can cope with the word 'bereaved' though. Too many chrctrs.


The gist of this seems to be that you should really not expect anything as a millenial, or at least that's the narrative he's parodying (see the last line). Because obviously everybody has always expected many things, it's just easy to deny those to others.

 

[Stinkles]

In order of worst to best:


Baby Boomers
Octogenarian Racists*
Millennials
Gen Y
Gen X


* Didn't know any better probably.

 

[marzlapin]

okay, this one got me. I don't think millennials can cope with the word 'bereaved' though. Too many chrctrs.


The gist of this seems to be that you should really not expect anything as a millenial, or at least that's the narrative he's parodying (see the last line). Because obviously everybody has always expected many things, it's just easy to deny those to others.

Lol wow, I don't think "bereaved" was the word he was looking for in that context.

Maybe this dude should pledge not to use words if he's not sure what they mean.

 

[WedgeX]

I've noticed a trend in mainstream media where any article about so-called millennials borders on the absurd.

Basically.

And is this cilantro thing some type of meme that old people have made up?

 

[Skiptastic]

In order of worst to best:


Baby Boomers
Octogenarian Racists*
Millennials
Gen Y
Gen X


* Didn't know any better probably.

I thought Gen Y and Millennials were the same.

 

[birthday-suit]

When people say millenials they really mean upper middle class.

 

[ItWasMeantToBe19]

• I will not shun comedians or college commencement speakers just because I don't agree with them.

• Just once, I will try driving without texting.

• Just once, I will try eating without texting.

• I will not consider the cilantro on my taco to be a vegetable.

• I will learn to laugh at everything, especially myself.

? This seems to apply pretty well to 40-50 year olds.

 

[Violet_0]

I thought Gen Y and Millennials were the same.

yep

generation Z is the worst though and what do we call the next generation since we've run out of letters

 

[BreezyLimbo]

Funny, related story but I saw a family yesterday, and the dad scolded the older son because he was on the phone. The dad kept going 'Get off the phone! This is time with your family, just tell your friends that you're with your family!'. It was pretty funny.

 

[jtb]

So dumb.

 

[Carnby]

Dude must have been hitting the drugs and alcohol pretty hard if he really is < 34. He looks late forties at best,

He graduated from highschool in 1974. What math did you use to determine he was 34 years old?

 

[User 406]

Hey, you kids that we raised into a world that we fucked up, stop being so people!

 

[Dr. Feel Good]

I think it's awkward that the low 30 year-olds who are a part this generation have now transitioned to low management roles and they have a terrible time with making eye contact. Seriously fucking learn how to have a real conversation. It's embarrassing.

 

[Ashodin]

He graduated from highschool in 1974. What math did you use to determine he was 34 years old?

article says "I admire and adore the millennials. Obviously, it's because I am one."

 

[Carnby]

article says "I admire and adore the millennials. Obviously, it's because I am one."

Sarcasm maybe?

Edit: His column is called The Middle Ages. How did anyone not put two and two together?

 

[Kinyou]

Burning bridges is my favorite past time.

Get used to it, old man!

 

[cdyhybrid]

I pledge to disregard any article attempting to comment on behavioral habits of millennials.

 

[Buddha Beam]

I'm all for calling out my generation on all their numerous failings, but reading that was 3 minutes of my life that I'll never get back.

 

[WaffleTaco]

yep

generation Z is the worst though and what do we call the next generation since we've run out of letters

I think not liking the generations younger before you is a thing of just being jealous of how they grow up with all the cool shit. Like for instance older people hate that millennials grew up with the internet...millennials will hate that these young kids are going to be growing up with iPads and VR.

 

[Freeza Under The Shower]

Lol wow, I don't think "bereaved" was the word he was looking for in that context.

Maybe this dude should pledge not to use words if he's not sure what they mean.

Now that you mention, and I completely missed it, that's the joke. ( I feel dumb now)
It's obviously

Spoiler

supposed to be 'deceased', but someone too busy texting on a funeral could care less about that (much like the phrase 'couldn't care less' )

 

[barnone]

the old people just want us to be nicer to them.

 

[FLEABttn]

The only bridges I've burnt were management who completely shit on me and expected me to not just be not angry, but be okay with it. Fuck them.

 

[oneils]

The guy is taking the piss. It's obviously tongue in cheek. Kind of funny.

 

[RageWaffles]

yep

generation Z is the worst though and what do we call the next generation since we've run out of letters

probably something like "Generation Literally The Worst, Amiright?"

 

[Acorn]

Baby boomers are still shitting on everyone. Worst generation.

 

[The Technomancer]

The guy is taking the piss. It's obviously tongue in cheek. Kind of funny.

But where is the joke aimed?