My PS meeting predictions:
Sony opens with the usual montage of amazing games coming out this year and early next year.... The crowd claps and a few faces show disappointment preparing for the usual conference.... Phil Harrison takes the stage announcing that he is back with Sony after hearing of the superior specs of neo compared to Scorpio. The crowd goes crazy begging to see what Sony is now calling the PS ark of the covenant. Sony talks briefly how they sent a team of Sony ninjas to find the Ark of the covenant just before launching the PS1. Sony believed the Ark held the secrets to creating the most powerful console of all time. Many years of failure led Sony to clone Nathan Drake into a real human who discovered the Ark last year. After stealing the Ark Nate sent for back up as Microsoft employees caught wind of the discovery. A team of Sony Engineers led by Mark Cerny developed a Genetically modified version of Bog Bosses DNA extracted directly from MGS1's game code to clone a new snake they code named Neo-Snake. Shuhei Yoshida snuck into the undisclosed location along side neo snake to successfully sneak Nathan drake and the ark past Microsoft agents. At this point half the crowd is having seizures from the disbelief and a clean up crew is sent in to clean up all the vomit seeping closer and closer to the front row.... Helicopters are now surrounding the building along with hostage negotiators pleading with Sony to stop the conference and let the attendees out. Sony refuses and Phil now brings to the stage Ken Kutaragi..... This is where things get bat sh*t crazy Ken announces that today he will be leaving Sony.... He takes a knee and Phil pulls out a sword..... The entire place grows silent confused as to what is happening.... Phil
Raises his blade and cuts Ken's head off. Phil announces that Ken's years of service to Sony and his selfless sacrifice that was witnessed to millions watching online today has secured Sony the exclusive rights to the Onimusha IP. He cleans his blade off and a trailer is shown. Is this Neo footage?! The graphics are unreal, the PC players in the crowd start throwing up blood in disbelief the PC master race is wounded. Phil announced that the blade that took Kens life would be rendered in game using Neo technology and available to those who preorder the new Onimusha. Now it's Kaz Hirai's turn to take the stage. He calmly steps over Ken's body as he's welcomed with a standing ovation and a very British hand shake with Phil. Kaz announces that when he was tasked with restructuring Sony he knew PlayStation was vital to the companies success. He's pleased to announce today that Sony will now exclusivity be working on PlayStation and that all other branches in the company are now no longer a priority for them. The crowd starts growing tired and chants Neo, Neo, Neo!!! Show us the Neo!!!!! Kaz takes a bow and says as you wish..... The ground opens up and a box with a cloak covering it is now sitting in front of Kaz. A cloak?! What could this mean?! The lights get dim and Kaz starts to rip his face off.... He falls to the floor and arises as no other than KOJI MOTHER F*CKEN IGARASHI!! It was him all along, the crowd stands once again in applause he grabs the cloak which now starts to look really familiar could it be?! Yes it is, it's Alucard's cape! Igarashi announces that all PS neo's will come with a copy of Castlevania: Symphony of the night 2!!!! The FBI smashes through the ceiling and instead of arresting Igarashi they bow in his honor. At this point the Internet explodes! At least half of all nations are dead as their computer screens explode. Russia and the US have no choice now but to join forces and try to stop the Japanese power known as Sony. Nukes are flying towards New York and Sony has roughly 2 minutes to unveil Neo. Colin Moriarty and Greg Miller rush to the stage knowing time is dire. Colin alongside Greg announce that there is a new world order and that all who bow to Neo and pledge allegiance will receive 20 years of PS+ for free. The few people still alive in attendance bow and Neo is finally revealed. Neo sports 10 Gpu's with 15 gazillion cores that you plug directly into your brain. Once plugged into the Neo (Matrix) you transcend your body and are now one with the Neo. The computing power at this point is almost incalculable but Sony gives a rough estimate of around 2 billion gazilliflops.
