On tonight's post, we're taking a walk on the wild side with Sabin and his increasing host of friends. We meet half again as many characters in one sitting as we did in the first three. A memorable villain repeats the same line thrice. And the muscular Brother Figaro proves himself a man of the sea. Jump underwater and join me for more penned nonsense -- and if you recognized the Xenogears reference in the previous sentence, please, be my friend!
It's a quaint little house Sabin's washed up near and there's a local merchant dressed like an imperial soldier, probably because Square ran out of money. There's also a certain Shadow, he who has been previously established as a man who might slit his mama's throat for a nickel. In good cheer, Sabin asks for directions, and Shadow offers to show him the way forward. He warns us that he'll ditch class on a moment's notice. Inside the house, an old man thinks we're here to fix his clock. Or mow his lawn. Are there lawnmowers in this world? A curious thought. The old man, of course, is Gau's father. There's actually a lot of tragedy in this little side story, but for now he's just insane in the membrane.
It's a short walk to me (but likely a day's journey in-universe) through to an imperial encampment where two run-of-the-mill troopers are talking trash about Kefka's tyranny. This is a nice moment. Some of the Empire's soldiers are rightly humanized throughout the game. They speak highly of General Leo's character -- Leo's this other dude, you see, and he's not at all like Kefka. Then we see Kefka, and he's readily scheming, and then Leo tells a soldier not to throw his life away in vain.
There's an interesting line here when Leo says Emperor Gestahl wouldn't want that. I wonder... at this point in the story, do you suppose he's deluding himself into actually believing Gestahl cares? Well, anyway, Gestahl sends word by way of carrier pigeon (I want to talk about how rad it is that carrier pigeons factor heavily into plot events in this video game) that Leo is needed elsewhere. Kefka calls Leo a loser. I laugh out loud. Boisterously. "You loser!" Kefka declares. It's like, what is the deal with this guy?
Non sequitur: Leo's avatar is terrifying in Advance.
Near-simultaneously, we're introduced to a certain Cyan Garamonde. This guy has a ponytail and carries around a katana and he's like fifty years old. I have a habit of assigning head-voices to all the characters in text-based video games and this fellow is definitely Barristan Selmy. Have you seen Rogue One yet? Barristan Selmy's actor is in that movie for like two minutes straight. It's surreal. Anyway, Cyan is Selmy and he dispatches the enemy commander. Get wrecked.
With Leo out of the way, Kefka's free to pursue his goals. He pours approximately six ounces worth of poison into the local water source, immediately turning an entire river purple. Suddenly, everyone in Doma not named Cyan is dropping dead, including the king and Cyan's own wife and son. It's a terrible moment and a great depiction of Kefka's depravity but I sure do wonder why everyone took a swig at once. Did Cyan spend years in a foreign land building an immunity to an airborne aquatic virus? Or -- and bear with me, friends -- could it be that I should shut up and roll with the punches in this cutscene?
I don't know what that caption says and I find it funnier this way so be a doll and don't tell me if you do.
Sabin pursues Kefka. Shadow tags along because, you know, frak, why not? Kefka asks if he looks like a waiter. Sabin then pursues Kefka further, to which Kefka again posits the question: "do I look like a waiter?" When Sabin then pursues Kefka still further, Kefka ducks behind a soldier and says, and I quote, "hey, if you know what's good for ya..." and he vanishes. Heath Ledger back from the dead couldn't match this clown's swag.
Sabin teams up with Cyan and the Barristan Selmy voice gig really enhances the flavor of the scene. Trust me. Then they all escape in Magitek Armor. Sabin and Cyan reach Shadow, who's just sort of chilling in his own suit, because he's just that good, I suppose. They're on the road again, and what is hours to them is but seconds to me, and a memorable location pops up on my screen...
If you know where you're going, you're out of this forest in like half a minute, but it's still really pretty and the music fits the bill. I should really include an image of the next place, though, shouldn't I?
That's an iconic shot, right?
We find ourselves on the voyage of the damned. Shadow tags along because, you know, frak, why not? Also, I'm glad he made it this far with me because he's totally here fighting ghosts in one of Anthology's CG cutscene unlockables and it's possible to lose him before reaching the Phantom Train. Anyway, yes, we fight ghosts. Some ghosts join up with us and then possess other ghosts. Some ghosts serve Sabin food while Cyan watches on in disbelief (but still benefits from the HP/MP restoration). There's also this one dude. Let me tell you about this one dude.
We're minding our own business trying to keep the king's peace or whatever and we try to open this chest and I kid you not this plebeian descends upon us and talks smack. Now, we're a pretty chill bunch, but we ain't got time for smack. We head into battle and I can't even input a single command because this fool hits a couple of my mates and one of them counterattacks because he's got the Black Belt equipped. Player goes down like a chump but steal jacks our prize. I ain't even done. He says he's got the last laugh but I use meta knowledge to remember I can beat him up in the coliseum in a couple dozen hours. I'm going to tear him one, you best believe.
Recovering from our blunder, we fight a train. Yes, a train. I mean, you already knew that, but it never gets old just saying it. This is also the first time I've ever remembered to have Sabin suplex said train. Indeed, my friends, I confess I'd never thought to do so before. I usually have Fire Dance already so Suplex seems rather "why bother?" Now I know why bother. I laughed. Yes, I laughed boisterously once again.
The train lets us off, but Elayne and Owain, Cyan's kids, are hopping on to be taken to the afterlife. This scene is legitimately powerful. Not even so much for the family's farewell to a devoted husband and father, but rather, for the presentation immediately afterward. Shadow advises Sabin to leave Cyan alone. I try speaking with Cyan, but he won't respond. The screen fades out as I move around the station and the somber music fades into Terra's Theme, the overworld track. It's incredibly effective.
At Baren Falls, Shadow bids adieu. This is the farthest he can travel, I think, right? Sabin and Cyan take a leap of faith down from the highest cliff, dying instantly upon impact.
No. That doesn't happen. They're rewarded for their lunacy by fighting a series of fish in mid-air during the fall. None of this makes a lick of sense. Baren Falls was nothing but a mistake. I don't know how much you know about diving to your death (I'm an expert) but Sabin just shot himself in the foot. I don't know what to make of this scene at all.
When next we wash ashore, a punk kid from The Land of the Lost flips out and runs away. His name is Gau and he's nothing if not hungry. We fight some battles on The Veldt, which has a really kickin' music track. Gau wants food, but I presently lack food, so I have no choice but to punch him in the face. Good grief, Sakaguchi.
A clever man in nearby Mobliz politely informs Sabin and Cyan that he threw some dried meat (we call this jerky where I'm from, son) into a crowd of wild animals and some kid jumped out. I'm wondering why the man threw the meat but now is not the time for idle speculation. Now is the time for action. We purchase jerky and help a wounded fellow with his letter-reading. (This is a sad beat, by the way. This guy isn't going to make it.) Also, a pair of 16-year-olds is in love, and I can't imagine this will ever impact a major character in any way!
What the hell is going on with this Gau render.
Gau becomes our friend after a comical scene in which he prances about and calls Sabin "Mr. Thou" much to his chagrin. Something clever: Cyan is the one who decides to take Gau along and Sabin's perplexed as to why. "Real talk:" Cyan wants to look after the kid, especially as he's grieving over the loss of his son. Having lost an unborn daughter earlier this year, I can sympathize, and Cyan's loss is on a whole 'nother level, I reckon. It's remarkable the story bits that stick out as we grow older, isn't it? Life's a heck of a thing.
Gau wants to show us something shiny. We build him on The Veldt until he has the claws of a Stray Cat. How into Rage-training do you folks get? Me, I never seem to go all-in on it. Anyway, something shiny is in a nearby cave. It's a single underwater helmet and it looks like a Greek sponge dock headpiece from Tarpon Springs, Florida. There's literally only one of them but the party of three is convinced it's the ticket to a ride on the Serpent Trench's fast-moving current.
I'd use the Chrono Trigger game over image now if I hadn't already played that particular trump card.
Next time.
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