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Silicon Valley’s $400 Juicer May Be Feeling the Squeeze

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K

Kaako

Felium Defensor
I too wish people would actually start eating more vegetables/fruits instead of juicing as a substitute. Them healthy fibers are vital!
 
B

Brakke

Banned
ItIsOkBro said:
just grab a fork and eat the pulp

lOP0cFo.png
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JUST EAT THE FUCKEN PLANTS
 
Wag

Wag

Member
ghostofsparta said:
Yeah but that's for poors
Juicero matches my latest iPhone....And connects to it too!

Btw I just found out about Juiecero's competitor, JUISIR

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1793272089/juisir-juicing-without-the-cleaning

Same idea, but you can provide your own fruit and veggies. Must be chopped tho
Click to expand...

http://www.rawfoodlife.com/Products/Juicers/Hydraulic_Juice_Press/hydraulic_juice_press.html

Not so poor- same price: $400.

There are other manual juicers but this one is hydraulic. I don't drink juice anyways- I eat whole fruit.
 
M

markhimself46

Member
ReAxion said:
http://theconcourse.deadspin.com/i-just-love-this-juicero-story-so-much-1794459898

KuGsj.gif
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This paragraph had me rolling. Can't believe this thing exists hahaha

The device Evans spent three years laboring to invent is a $400 WiFi-enabled tabletop machine that squeezes juice ... out of a bag of Juicero-brand juice. It squeezes bags of juice. It is a juice press that squeezes the juice ... out of bags of juice. Bags ... with built-in spouts ... that are filled with juice. Juice that comes in bags.
Click to expand...
 
E

EatinOlives

Member
I'm genuinely curious if anyone has opened up one of these bags and test out the pre-chopped fruit and veggies. How do they compare to shit you buy from your average local farm? Because some tiiiingling sensation in my brain is saying "not favorably".

fixedpoint said:
This is the most oblivious and hypocritical thing I've ever read, almost a work of art. So many gems.
Click to expand...

I like his crocodile tears over how people still toiling away making shirts by hand...and his solution is to automate the process to deny them the pennies they're made. He also offhandedly mentions this on his way to flaunt his superior socioeconomic status by saying he could just throw away his shit instead of wash them because the shit wages the people make this are being paid is that low that he can personally afford to do it.

So many layers of douchebaggery folding in on itself, and the dude thinks he's the paragon of environmentally conscious sustainability.

wesleyshark said:
Yeah it really is loll. So many better (and cheaper) options out there, like Jamba Juice. There's one across the street from where I work. I go there 2-3x a week.
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Yeah but the lady squeezing your juice is not connect to WiFi to verify the shit she's giving you is not expired.

CHECK.
MATE.
 
P

PumpkinSpice

Banned
EatinOlives said:
I'm genuinely curious if anyone has opened up one of these bags and test out the pre-chopped fruit and veggies. How do they compare to shit you buy from your average local farm? Because some tiiiingling sensation in my brain is saying "not favorably".
Click to expand...

Well they've been in a bag for however long so I'd bet good money it doesn't taste as good as just eating like an apple or pineapple or whatever fresh.
 
E

EatinOlives

Member
SheepyGuy said:
Well they've been in a bag for however long so I'd bet good money it doesn't taste as good as just eating like an apple or pineapple or whatever fresh.
Click to expand...

Yep. Throws the whole concept of "freshly squeezed", and thus the whole reason for this product existing out the window.
 
A

Angelus Errare

Banned
I haven't read a single post in this thread, but I'm going to ask the question yet again.

Why not make a company based on selling the package of juice and get rid of the utterly pointless machine? Then later advertise the machine as an alternative to squeezing by hand?
 
E

EmCeeGramr

Member
https://medium.com/@Juicero/a-note-from-juiceros-new-ceo-cb23a1462b03

So when I saw this week's headlines about hacking and hand-squeezing Produce Packs, I had a one overriding thought: "We know hacking consumer products is nothing new. But how can we better demonstrate the incredible value we know our connected system delivers?"
Click to expand...

The value of Juicero is more than a glass of cold-pressed juice. Much more.

The value is in how easy it is for a frazzled dad to do something good for himself while getting the kids ready for school, without having to prep ingredients and clean a juicer.

It's in how the busy professional who needs more greens in her life gets App reminders to press Produce Packs before they expire, so she doesn't waste the hard-earned money she spent on them.

These are just a few examples of the value that the Juicero system offers, and we're just getting started. As I said, this is a long-term vision and we'll encounter bumps in the road, but our team and our investors understand the important problem we're trying to solve, and they're committed to helping us get there.
Click to expand...

First, the Press. Our connected Press itself is critical to delivering a consistent, high quality and food safe product because it provides:

The first closed loop food safety system that allows us to remotely disable Produce Packs if there is, for example, a spinach recall. In these scenarios, we're able to protect our consumers in real-time.
Consistent pressing of our Produce Packs calibrated by flavor to deliver the best combination of taste and nutrition every time.
Connected data so we can manage a very tight supply chain, because our product is live, raw produce, and has a limited lifespan of about 8 days.
Click to expand...

The sum of the system — the Press, Produce Packs and App — working together is what enables a great experience. However, you won't experience that value by hand-squeezing Produce Packs, which to be clear, contain nothing but fresh, raw, organic chopped produce, not juice. What you will get with hand-squeezed hacks is a mediocre (and maybe very messy) experience that you won't want to repeat once, let alone every day.
Click to expand...



"hand squeeze hacks"


These people live on another planet
 
B

BobNewbert31

Member
Angelus Errare said:
I haven't read a single post in this thread, but I'm going to ask the question yet again.

Why not make a company based on selling the package of juice and get rid of the utterly pointless machine? Then later advertise the machine as an alternative to squeezing by hand?
Click to expand...

If you want to sell pointless machines, you can't market that their ultimately pointless.

I would suggest reading this thread however, some quality posts in here.
 
M

Meatfist

Member
The first closed loop food safety system that allows us to remotely disable Produce Packs if there is, for example, a spinach recall. In these scenarios, we’re able to protect our consumers in real-time.
Click to expand...

Did I just read a PR spin on juice DRM? Oh my goodness
 
A

Angelus Errare

Banned
BobNewbert31 said:
If you want to sell pointless machines, you can't market that their ultimately pointless.

I would suggest reading this thread however, some quality posts in here.
Click to expand...

Convenience makes anything desirable. Tired of squeezing those bags yourself? Spend a few coin on a machine that does it faster and with less mess so you can focus on the rest of your routine. People pay for convenience.

Marketing is all about making something pointless seem desirable.
 
B

Brakke

Banned
Every single sentence of that "note from the CEO" is a catastrophe.

"a new way of delivering raw, plant-based nutrition"

Guys. Just eat a goddamn carrot every now and then. It's fine. Stop disrupting chewing.
 
G

Gallbaro

Banned
Brakke said:
Every single sentence of that "note from the CEO" is a catastrophe.

"a new way of delivering raw, plant-based nutrition"

Guys. Just eat a goddamn carrot every now and then. It's fine. Stop disrupting chewing.
Click to expand...

Press Releases are always masturbation. In fact they are usually easier to write when...
 
A

Aselith

Member
mike6467 said:
There's always money in the banana stand.

So this is basically juice as a service. They really should've given you the juicer and tied you into a yearly juice contract though. Then the DRM makes perfect sense, because you can't have people jailbreaking their juicers and pirating fruit....or something.

"Please ensure your juicer is connected to the internet, juicing will not begin until product is authenticated." I wonder if Denuvo's in on this yet.
Click to expand...

You wouldn't download a Crème Brule, would you?
 
B

Box of Kittens

Banned
Brakke said:
Every single sentence of that "note from the CEO" is a catastrophe.

"a new way of delivering raw, plant-based nutrition"

Guys. Just eat a goddamn carrot every now and then. It's fine. Stop disrupting chewing.
Click to expand...

Yeah, but your teeth aren't always online. Clearly inferior.
 
E

EatinOlives

Member
Silicon Valley writers can literally just summarize this whole thing into a single episode, using the exact same product using the exact same lines ("hand-squeeze hacks"), and it'd be a golden episode. They don't even need to change anything.
 
G

ghostofsparta

Member
big_z said:
I really want someone to cut a back open to see what's inside. They claim its contents are chopped up fruits and veggies but if you can squeeze out the same amount of fluid by hand something fishy is going on. My guess is they produce the juice in bulk, fill the bags with it and toss a little of the pulp in to make you feel special.
Click to expand...

https://vimeo.com/214030931

it seems to be actual veggies, but they look realy mushy
 
A

Aselith

Member
EatinOlives said:
Silicon Valley writers can literally just summarize this whole thing into a single episode, using the exact same product using the exact same lines ("hand-squeeze hacks"), and it'd be a golden episode. They don't even need to change anything.
Click to expand...

t's too unbelievable. They'd be lambasted for jumping the shark.
 
G

Garuroh

Member
to be fair the actual bags seems okay, unlike the over designed garbage that is the machine. I bet the douche had nothing to do with the actual designs of them tho
 
A

Al-ibn Kermit

Junior Member
Angelus Errare said:
I haven't read a single post in this thread, but I'm going to ask the question yet again.

Why not make a company based on selling the package of juice and get rid of the utterly pointless machine? Then later advertise the machine as an alternative to squeezing by hand?
Click to expand...

That's a good point that I'm betting the company probably didn't consider doing since their pitch was about being the keurig of juice.
 
U

UrbanRats

Member
That this product went even one step past the "drunken late night idiotic product brainstorming" phase, is really worrying for humanity.
 
G

Gentleman Jack

Member
Am I allowed to monetize my Juicero twitch stream and youtube videos or do I have to join the "Juicero creators program" and kick them 75% of my rev in order to obtain a license to broadcast with their IP?
 
K

Kenstar

Member
ghostofsparta said:
https://vimeo.com/214030931

it seems to be actual veggies, but they look realy mushy
Click to expand...

Joshua Sherman1 hour ago
"The question ringing in my ears is "What's Inside This Filmmaker?" I love the Dogme 95 meets ASMR nouveau cinema -- what's inside indeed? As the filmmaker gets closer to the material, we are struck by a great amount of distance -- why end now? Have we, indeed, seen everything? If you cut me open with a pair of kitchen scissors, would I not bleed like this very carrot blitzed Capri sun? It's disposal into the pure white bowl sums it up: we are damaged goods, all of us, commodities striving for a more perfect and lucrative presentations of ourselves, staining the bowls we are destined to rot in. Juice me, oh rotten capitalism, check the QR code of my soul and protect the holy customer from the foodborne illnesses brewing in my heart."
 
M

modernmalady

Member
I desperately want to be in on their next office meeting or some shit. Do they really not see how they sound exactly like a techbro parody?
 
N

norm9

Member
this is a good opportunity to grab a couple of these for when they become rare and can sell for a higher price.
 
LordOfChaos

LordOfChaos

Member
I am in love with this story. It's like someone took the bullshit byproducts of VC funding, crowdfunding, DRM and IoT and just squeezed them into a nutritious puree with enough Vitamin Schadenfreude to sustain me for days, maybe weeks.
 
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