I agree, to a degree. For me personally, I've known two transgender people in real life. The first one is someone I met at an arcade while playing DDR. Male to Female transgender person. Used the name Ema and female pronouns. One of the very first things she said to me when we met at the arcade was "By the way, I'm trans and I go by Ema, I just wanted to let you know because some people get weirded out by that." I was like "Are you serious? That's not even an issue, I'm cool with everybody so long as they aren't harming people. Don't even fret, nice to meet you Ema!" Over time, we became pretty good friends and I slowly got used to calling her Ema and using female pronouns to refer to her. This was honestly difficult for me because she still looked like a tall and lanky 20 something year old man, albeit with long hair and the occasional tight, pink hoodie.
I slipped up maybe twice when I was speaking rapidly and ended up saying "he" instead of "she" and she called me out on it instantly. I was like "Shit, sorry...". For the most part, Ema was fun to be around although, she had this annoying thing where she would bash EVERYBODY and felt like she was superior and self-entitled to every little thing. She literally said one day, while walking through Wal-Mart with me and a couple friends, "Dude, everyone in here is so ugly, WTF?" And she was totally serious about it. After a while, I couldn't stand her superiority complex especially when it came to DDR and rhythm games in general. She always acted like she was more skilled at the game than anyone else and whenever I'd whoop her in the game, she'd get pissed. Apart from that, it was the constant bitching and moaning about politics, trans rights, Bernie Sanders and Trump (this was around 2015), stories about not knowing which public bathroom to use and how she couldn't find a job because she is trans (when in reality, she was just incredibly picky and didn't want to work at a fast food joint or retail because she felt she was above that...as a 20 year old who lived at home with her mom and typically crashed and mooched at a friend's house). When I'd go hang at my buddy's house (the guy who let Ema crash at his place often and owned his own DDR machine), I just wanted to play DDR, watch anime, and just chill...but anytime Ema was there, I had to brace myself because I knew an angry tirade about the latest transphobic news articles would commence and it always did.
I never had anything against her just because she was transgender. But she was constantly just bashing people left and right for things that she felt she deserved or should be entitled to. When she started taking hormones, she would constantly be training her voice and finding any chance she could to talk about how much her boobs are growing and how sore they are. I was just thinking to myself "Yo...I'm over here visiting so I can play some DDR and shoot the shit, do we really have to keep hearing about how sore your boobs are and how crappy the hormones are making you feel?". Obviously I cared about my friend and how she was feeling but dang...I admit it got tiring listening to her woes and complaints and thoughts on trans-only locker rooms / bathrooms or which presidential candidate should win. She was like a walking, talking Facebook / Yahoo News feed. You could never get upset with her about anything or call her out on any of her behavior because she would get offended and flip it around as if you were oppressing her because she is transgender. I mean, she'd do shit like rummage through our friend's cabinets and eat up his food, leave dirty dishes around, train her voice loudly with a microphone and headphones on at all hours of the day, and all sorts of other things that started to annoy my friend who was letting her crash at his place from time to time. It just boiled down to her being an inconsiderate person who never had a job in her life and felt like she was correct 100% all the time. To be honest, through all my interactions with her, she just didn't seem to be very happy and I suppose maybe that could be chalked up to everything she has to deal with from being transgender coupled with still living at home and not knowing what to do with life.
The only time she truly became happy was when she started dating a female to male transgender person and THAT was some confusing stuff for me because he looked absolutely female but used a male name and male pronouns. So anytime I spoke about them around our friends, I had to slowly speak so I can get the pronouns correct or I'd just use their names instead. What boggled my mind was when Ema told me they had started having sex because I always wondered to myself what goes through their minds during sex? Ema is a male to female transgender person who looks like a male and has a penis. Her boyfriend is a female to male transgender person who looks female and has a vagina. What would go through their minds regarding that as they are having sex? I never asked her but it was always a curiosity to me. Anyway, Ema was my first interaction with someone who is transgender and while it wasn't negative exactly, it was truly tiring. She would get offended at any and every thing and always talked as if she were owed stuff on a silver platter otherwise said person/entity/company was bigoted and transphobic. But I'm well aware that all transgender people are not the same as Ema, I'd be a fucking idiot to believe that or imply that. I mean shit, I'm black and people used to harp on me because I didn't "act black" or "black enough" and I was just like come the fuck on...not all black people say and do the same shit.
Speaking on that, my second personal experience with someone transgender is a bit of an ironic one. I found out through my ex girlfriend (we were dating at the time) that my best friend from childhood was transgender. She noticed on his Facebook that he was wearing makeup and a dress in a photo he posted. I was like "What?! Nah, that's just how he is, he's always been a jokester like that and loves doing weird stuff. He used to come to school dressed in tin foil or wrapped in carpets with a toaster and extension cord for a belt!" She told me she thinks it's not that and that he really IS transgender. I was in disbelief and went to go look at his profile. Sure enough, it turns out he had come out as transgender. The reason I didn't know my best friend from childhood was transgender is because, well, we had a falling out after I dated his ex girlfriend back in high school. In my defense, I didn't know that was a thing you shouldn't do (at the time) and I was fucking idiot and very naive with women back then. They only dated for a couple weeks and I didn't even mean to get together with her. I was literally just cheering her up on the bus with some music from my MP3 player because I noticed she was sad. She took a liking to me and then we started hanging out and I was completely and utterly infatuated with this girl. I never meant for that to happen.
Anyway, she and I eventually realized dating behind his back wasn't a good thing and we broke up and told him about it. Which was a weird thing to do now that I think about it. But it was also to preemptively beat a friend of ours who was the one who found out initially and told us "that's not cool" and that he was gonna let him know because he has a right to know. After we got to him first and told him, our friendship soured and he basically hated my guts after that and became incredibly hostile and emo and dramatic. The day we broke up and told him, we decided the three of us should go hang out at the arcade/mall together and smooth things out. Kind of fucked up when I think about it but I was in high school, I didn't fucking know what to do in that situation. As we were driving up to the mall, he asked me to stop the car and pull over. He silently got out, walked up to the brick wall of a building, punched it a bunch of times, turned around, and walked back to the car and got in. His hand was bleeding and I was like "What was that about?". He told me he had to go punch something to keep from hitting me lmao. I was thinking "Uh...okay then. I'm glad for YOUR sake that you DIDN'T punch me because that shit wouldn't have ended well." but I stayed silent and let him have his moment of rage because after all, I did date his ex girlfriend.
So anyway, the reason I even bring up this ex girlfriend story is because it was at this point that we said we were still friends and we did still hang out with our group of friends...but he became a total asshole to me. The racist kind. Granted, he was always the edgy type. He was in love with South Park, told dead baby jokes to people at school, drew dicks everywhere, constantly tried to gross people out or make them feel like shit. I think it was a defense mechanism because before he and I became friends in junior high, he was literally the most unpopular kid in school. The cliche thing where people bullied him for no reason other than his family was poor and he was dirty and smelled bad. I'm not making that up. It's how things were for him. He had zero friends before I came along. So I think it helped him develop a sharp tongue and he'd use it to pop off at the mouth to people bullying him but it got to the point where he was just shooting at the hip to EVERYONE whether they deserved it or not, he was just a very brash and unfiltered person. But this was different. He started to tell n*gger jokes at lunch time with me sitting right there. He'd always find some way to slip a black joke in or make a crack about black people so he could get a rise out of me. I ignored it. We ended up going on this camping trip with some friends and the entire fucking time, it was just n*gger this and n*gger that. There was even this rumor I heard that he apparently wanted to make a shirt that says "I want to slit zeioIIIDX's throat" (it would have my real name, obviously lol). That kinda alarmed me.
Well we graduated high school but our friendship was never the same and years passed. I was in my mid twenties and we caught up on Facebook and I apologized to him again for dating his ex and I even visited home (Chicago) and brought along my girlfriend at the time and we all chilled like old times. He seemed like his normal self, he was super friendly and everything. He was rocking a ponytail and a huge mustache lol. Not even a couple weeks later, I find out from my girlfriend that she thinks he's transgender. I ended up contacting him on Facebook and he confirmed it and I asked her (referring to my friend as female from this point forward) how her family took the news. She said not very well. Her dad kinda disowned her. I told her she's got my support and I've got her back and she'll always be my friend no matter what and she was really happy to hear those words. She would often make posts on Facebook about trans rights and would sometimes tell me about how hard it is being transgender and how she's been getting hate from people left and right.
The reason I say this story is ironic is because it made me think back to all those times in high school when she was telling n*gger jokes and being a racist piece of shit directly and indirectly to me and how she made me feel like such a piece of crap. I was thinking "Oh, so NOW you want to talk about feeling inclusive and feeling loved by people and how hard it is to be different?" Part of me felt like this was karma for how she treated me for being black. The other part of me was sympathetic because this was someone I had been friends with since 6th grade, someone who I shared countless amazing memories with and cared about. Unfortunately, I don't keep in touch with her much these days. It's kinda tough when she lives in Illinois and I'm in Bumfuck, Mississippi. But my interactions with her after she came out as transgender were never negative. It just made me wonder whether she ever thought about how she made me feel with her racist antics when thinking about how she feels being shit on by people for being transgender. I knew her really, really well growing up and never got the feeling she didn't feel like a man. She once stated that she is bisexual but we all took that as a joke because, again, that's how she was. She joked about literally everything and you could never, ever take her serious or take anything she said at face value. But maybe she really was bi at the time...
I don't know what it feels like to be transgender so I won't speak on whether I think it should be viewed/treated as a mental illness. I didn't even know that transgender people existed or was a thing until 6 years ago. I knew about transsexuals and hermaphrodites but those are different things. It feels like after finding out about transgender people 6 years ago, it's become very, very, very, very prevalent and I wonder why that is. How did I personally go 26 years never once hearing the word "transgender" or meeting a transgender person to suddenly having two transgender friends and knowing a handful of others through other friends? Does it really have something to do with Caitlyn Jenner transitioning? Was that the catalyst? I like to think I don't live under a rock like Patrick Star and I've been around the block on the internet but I don't know...