*Knocks on Anita's door*
Anita: "Who is it?"
*silence*
Anita is confused but oddly turned on by the suspense of a silent knock.
She peeks through the peephole of her wooden-carved door and sees this:
Anita: "Nani!?"
Anita starts to shiver from fear but then becomes oddly turned on by the suspense of a stranger hiding inside a cardboard box. (Note: Anita Sarkeesian didn't get the MGS2 reference because she doesn't actually play videogames.)
Anita opens the door for this strange man hiding inside a cardboard box and welcomes him inside.
Anita: "uhm....make yourself at home."
The cardboard box man then proceeds to make himself at home.
Anita sits on the coach and smooches closer to the cardboard box man. She begins to worry that she may have made the worst mistake of her life by allowing this stranger into her home but then becomes oddly turned on by the suspense of a stranger hiding inside a cardboard box sitting next to her.
Silence ensues for a few moments until a voice is heard coming out of the cardboard box saying:
"Kept you waiting, huh?"
Needless to say, Anita Sarkeesian, a self-proclaimed gamer, feminist, and coder, was on all fours getting pounded from behind by this majestic stranger in a cardboard box.
Anita: "Yes! Yes!!! Oh Snake!.....Snake?.........Snake!?........SNAAAAAAACKKKKKKKKKKK!"
After 35 seconds, Anita and the cardboard box man complete their sexual intercourse session and start smoking a cigarette. Suddenly, a voice is heard coming out of the cardboard box and poses a question to Anita:
"Did you rike it?"
Anita, who hasn't had a man in her for years, nodded her head and expressed how she felt completely satisfied:
Anita: "Wow.....I haven't felt this satisfied since 2016."
The cardboard box man did not respond. He stood up, pulled up his pants, and proceeded to the door where he would exit and never to come inside Anita and her home again.
Before Anita realizes what just happened, she sees a calling card on the coffee table and picks it up; it reads:
"Tomorrow is in your hands."
Anita, perplexed by the enigmatic calling card, flips it over and it reads:
"You've just been fucked by the one and only @MiyazakiHatesKojima."
The End.
This short story is dedicated to
Pallas
and all the sexy ladies out there.