Support NeoGAF

[Rentahamster]

I was playing slots and running out of money, so in an effort to slow down my pace and extend my time window for free casino drinks, I decided to do 5 kegel holds in between every max bet.

I just won $500.

Do your kegels.

Spoiler

This actually happened yesterday, but describing the story in present tense sounds better

 

[Sqorin Hammerfarf]

No.

 

[JareBear: Remastered]

Do your kegels.

 

[KOMANI]

I do them op, every time I pee, or await for a snarky reply on gaf.

 

[Rentahamster]

No.

Well then have fun not winning $500! Or not having a strong dick! Or both!

 

[Sqorin Hammerfarf]

Well then have fun not winning $500! Or not having a strong dick! Or both!

I don't need to do my kegels because I'm already an expert at them. My vagina can crush a watermelon, and I don't even have a vagina. Just a lot of watermelon.

 

[Rentahamster]

I don't need to do my kegels because I'm already an expert at them. My vagina can crush a watermelon, and I don't even have a vagina. Just a lot of watermelon.

That sounds suspiciously like something someone with a non-kegeling weak penis would say....

 

[crowbrow]

My penis has a sixpack.

 

[KOMANI]

Kegels help the prostate. Not penis. When you guys are dripping all over the place like a broken faucet, we kegels practitioners will be dry and urine-scent free.

 

[JareBear: Remastered]

My penis has a sixpack.

 

[CyberPanda]

My penis has a sixpack.

Nice.

 

[King of Foxes]

Gambling is arguably as destructive as alcoholism.

You should be ashamed of yourself. Imagine if you children saw you and followed in your footsteps.

Get it together

 

[Rentahamster]

Gambling is arguably as destructive as alcoholism.

You should be ashamed of yourself. Imagine if you children saw you and followed in your footsteps.

Get it together

Fuck my children; those losers ain't got no $500.

 

[Tesseract]

are kegels the things that make your cock bounce when it's hard

 

[CyberPanda]

are kegels the things that make your cock bounce when it's hard

Kegel exercise - Wikipedia

en.m.wikipedia.org

 

[Tesseract]

Kegel exercise - Wikipedia

en.m.wikipedia.org

i see, yes, it is

 

[King of Foxes]

Fuck my children; those losers ain't got no $500.

You are pathetic

 

[pennythoughts]

You are pathetic

sounds like you suck at slots

 

[Rentahamster]

You are pathetic

This $500 says otherwise. Actually it's $400 now because I donated $100 to the local church.

 

[brap]

My dick is big enough

 

[Mingen]

Slot machines for fools

 

[highrider]

No.

 

[Cunth]

I’ll give you $500 for some present tense

 

[Shifty]

Try not to go broke while clenching your pelvic floor, OP.

Gambling is arguably as destructive as alcoholism.

You should be ashamed of yourself. Imagine if you children saw you and followed in your footsteps.

Get it together

bruh.wav

I feel that you may have misread the tone of this thread.

 

[ThatStupidLion]

but hows your ejaculation retention?

are kegels the things that make your cock bounce when it's hard

TIL my pelvic floor is an absolute unit

 

[ThatStupidLion]

edit: dbl pst

 

[Rentahamster]

ejaculation retention

A lot of people have different meanings for that. What do you mean specifically?

If you're asking if I have good control over when I come, then yes. It's fantastic.

 

[Tesseract]

i ain't no cum chump

 

[Rentahamster]

Tom Cruise's beautiful face at times makes me forget that he believes in some real crazy ass bullshit.

 

[ThatStupidLion]

A lot of people have different meanings for that. What do you mean specifically?

If you're asking if I have good control over when I come, then yes. It's fantastic.

whats your squirt distance?

 

[Rentahamster]

whats your squirt distance?

 

[kbear]

Imagine a world where every chick did daily kegels — this 3” pencil-thick anaconda I got going would finally feel at home, no more shame.