Alec's sister has posted another blog.
For those who don't want to read it all here are some highlights.
To be completely frank, I am terrified to post this. I’m scared that people will decide that my years of social media research, game dev work, feminist activism, and support of marginalized individuals will no longer matter.
I think that right there is a very telling bit - she's really afraid of upsetting the woke police. She knows they'll make her life hell.
If we want to believe survivors, it means that we need to also believe Alec. In trying to formulate a statement in the last few days of his life, Alec was being told that he shouldn’t say his perspective publicly, that no one would believe him. He wanted to publicly apologize and take responsibility for the things that he had done, but not for the things he hadn’t.
She's taking the risk in saying that if we believe women we should also believe men. As for people telling Alec not to share his perspective.. that's a mixed bit of advice. I was demonised by a group of trolls (see my earlier post in this thread) - I had issues and at times I was an asshole but my assholery was out of proportion with a decade of hate and stalking, but one of the things that was consistent with this is that I too couldn't express the truth of what was true and what was not as people piled on with stuff that was just made up. It got a bit like the old Chuck Norris jokes in the end, such was the level of silliness of the things I was apparently capable of doing. I did my best to defend myself, but was dogpiled and attacked by a group that simply wasn't willing to listen, and this was pre-social media. In a world of Twitter I'd have been up shit creek with no sign of a paddle. As it was, I managed to lay low and eventually rebuild my life. Alec wasn't so fortunate, and that's part of why this really gets to me.
What seems much more important to me in this moment is what we mean when we say “I believe survivors” and what we choose to do when we are confronted with a narrative of abuse. These narratives deserve care and attention and love, but not immediate action. We can acknowledge, support, and believe survivors without needing to try and ‘solve’ a situation immediately.
Entirely sensible and nuanced, and while a little scared and timid it's making the point that we shouldn't dogpile in as soon as an allegation is made. It seems to me that she's trying to defuse things but also trying to make a statement against this bullshit in a very cautious way. She's going to get burned at the stake for it sadly.
I understand all too well why victims of abuse take to public platforms. I know firsthand how broken the legal system can be. It has failed us in so many ways and we’re scrambling to find an alternative. That said, this current system is also deeply broken, because it is not a system at all. There are no rules here, no guidelines, and no accountability. There are no processes for rehabilitation.
She's right - we have no mechanism for rehabilitation and forgiveness. And again she's speaking out against the public posts, understanding why some choose to make them but observing that they're not the right way. Trying her hardest not to come under fire from the usual suspects while expressing ideas that I think most of us in this thread would acknowledge, that public shaming is a fucked up way to deal with this stuff.
As she writes, “[w]ithout integrity, ethics, good boundaries and a clear plan of action, an accountability process runs the risk of becoming abusive.”
Mob justice is abusive.
The thing that will continue to break my heart is that Alec was already working on becoming a better person. The last few years with him were very different. He had not been at risk of suicide for years. He had been fighting, extremely hard, to heal both himself and others. He had a new relationship and it was blossoming. (She stayed with him until the very end because the person she saw in front of her was good, kind, and deserving of support.) He made mindful efforts to apologize to the people he had hurt over the years. Some accepted and some didn’t (and he respected those boundaries).
Seems he was finally starting to heal when all this crap kicked off, only making it more tragic.
I was surprised not to see any of that nuance and care coming from many of the game devs I once admired, not even the ones who have made games about mental health.
That's totally Zoe, right there.
We need to be careful about how we use our narratives, especially when we have large followings and a lot of influence.
This speaks to the imbalance of power between Zoe and Alec, and indeed of the woke Twittersphere as a whole and how it attacks individuals who can't fight back.
Alec’s suicide was not an attack against anyone. It was not done to prove a point
Brave to say that when that's 90% of the woke response to his death, that his suicide was one final attack on Zoe.
Overall it's a good post. Nuanced, taking a first brave step towards acknowledging the harm done by the Twitter mob while trying to avoid being another of its victims (sadly that won't work). I hope she doesn't regret the post.
EDIT: Just want to highlight the link at
https://www.dailyxtra.com/i-believe...P5Cg_nH00Pp3rjHqYD8tddSb4O2mQhVMEryj00YimKj5A which could easily be missed - it's an interesting read. While it's from someone very much in that left social-justice space it does offer a hint at trying to move away from the mob mentality of social justice and acknowledges that this IS a problem.
