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Tinder woes. Someone please hear me out.

WhiskeyDiver

WhiskeyDiver

Member
You're only 23. You have plenty of time to find a woman that you have a good chance of having a possible lifetime of happiness with. Be mindful and make sure you feel ready to take that plunge before going too deep and realize you didn't bring a big enough oxygen tank.
 
H

hariseldon

Unconfirmed Member
심포니 said:
Thanks for the insight, hari. Always good seeing you around.

In response to Number 1, you're suggesting that I'm too young to settle down for one woman? I thought the average marriage age was in the late twenties for men (29). That I think puts me near prime settling down age no?

For number three, I suppose you're right. I should have said "unique" instead. We are going to the aquarium and a nice restaurant of her favorite cuisine, nothing too crazy I think. She said she's always wanted to go to the former!
Click to expand...

Re 1 - perhaps it would be more accurate to say that you're too young to worry about finding that. You likely don't know yet what you want. You need to spend a few years trying out different options, seeing what works for you, and also you need to get the horny bastard out of your system. Once you're no longer led by your boner you can find what you're looking for, and you'll have a bit of understanding of women as people, with no pedestaling.
Re 3 - unique is good but remember women are people - some like posh food, some like a trip to a bowling alley or crazy golf or something a bit cheesy and daft. My first date with my wife we went to the cinema and watched Four Lions, a comedy about suicide bombers (not even a good one). I drank too much coke too quickly and could barely stop myself from burping constantly. Dating and sex and all that stuff should be something you can laugh at, you don't have to be Mr Suave James Bond or any of that bollocks - for the women who are worth keeping you can just have fun and be yourself. Human relationships are silly, messy things. You can't plan them perfectly, nor would it be fun if you could.
 
Wings 嫩翼翻せ

Wings 嫩翼翻せ

so it's not nice
hariseldon said:
Re 1 - perhaps it would be more accurate to say that you're too young to worry about finding that. You likely don't know yet what you want. You need to spend a few years trying out different options, seeing what works for you, and also you need to get the horny bastard out of your system. Once you're no longer led by your boner you can find what you're looking for, and you'll have a bit of understanding of women as people, with no pedestaling.
Re 3 - unique is good but remember women are people - some like posh food, some like a trip to a bowling alley or crazy golf or something a bit cheesy and daft. My first date with my wife we went to the cinema and watched Four Lions, a comedy about suicide bombers (not even a good one). I drank too much coke too quickly and could barely stop myself from burping constantly. Dating and sex and all that stuff should be something you can laugh at, you don't have to be Mr Suave James Bond or any of that bollocks - for the women who are worth keeping you can just have fun and be yourself. Human relationships are silly, messy things. You can't plan them perfectly, nor would it be fun if you could.
Click to expand...

I must make it clear that I'm not interested in sleeping around. Since I found her on Tinder, I can't really argue against the "thinking with my boner" bit since that's pretty much the name of the game, but I hope to simply settle down and that's that.

And yep -- as for RE3 you're definitely right there and I'm internalizing it. Thanks again buddy.
 
ROMhack

ROMhack

Member
심포니 said:
I must make it clear that I'm not interested in sleeping around. Since I found her on Tinder, I can't really argue against the "thinking with my boner" bit since that's pretty much the name of the game, but I hope to simply settle down and that's that.

And yep -- as for RE3 you're definitely right there and I'm internalizing it. Thanks again buddy.
Click to expand...

We're alike in that respect. I often speak with my mates who are sex mad and I'm like, yeah sex is cool with somebody I like but much less so with somebody I don't. Maybe just the way we're wired.

As for a date, may I suggest crazy golf. I did that on a first date once and it was very fun, easily the best idea I've had out of three types of dates I've been on (cinema, bar and crazy golf).

P.s. Thanks for the gold :messenger_beaming:
 
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Wings 嫩翼翻せ

Wings 嫩翼翻せ

so it's not nice
ROMhack said:
We're alike in that respect. I often speak with my mates who are sex mad and I'm like, yeah sex is cool with somebody I like but much less so with somebody I don't. Maybe just the way we're wired.

As for a date, may I suggest crazy golf. I did that on a first date once and it was very fun, easily the best idea I've had out of three types of dates I've been on (cinema, bar and crazy golf).

P.s. Thanks for the gold :messenger_beaming:
Click to expand...

Respect. 🤙🏾 Yeah it must be the wiring, it’s simply too difficult to be physically involved with someone without considerable emotional investment.

I’ve never heard of that, ‘crazy golf.’ I’m always up for new ideas so certainly I’m appreciative of your suggestion and going to look into it. It’s getting cold though and she’s starting to express concerns about that a bit, so..... fingers crossed, haha.

And yeah, of course. You’re a swell dude.
 
AlphaMale

AlphaMale

Member
But you said yourself that you're "super exclusive" and that you don't look at other girls once you've found "the one". With that, you should have disabled Tinder once things got good with the "the one".
 
BigBooper

BigBooper

Member
You have no idea until you meet in person. My brother ended up marrying a girl he met online. He actually did even meet her in person and spent a month at her parent's house to get to know her. Turns out the whole family was lying to him and for most of their online conversations he was actually talking to her mother.

Invite her out to eat spaghetti a couple dozen times to get to really know her.
 
ROMhack

ROMhack

Member
Guynamedbilly said:
You have no idea until you meet in person. My brother ended up marrying a girl he met online. He actually did even meet her in person and spent a month at her parent's house to get to know her. Turns out the whole family was lying to him and for most of their online conversations he was actually talking to her mother.
Click to expand...

W-what?

Good for him though.
 
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captainraincoat

captainraincoat

Banned
My advice......your 23...take them both out (seperatly) unless you have fucked one of them a date is basically two people having fun together....you don't need to be in a relationship to do that.

Also...the one....as you call it is not always the one you click with off the bat

Good friend of mine married his boss who fired him 2 years earlier and he fucking hated to the point he poured battery acId over her car

Time reveals all and that rock sometimes polishes into a diamond
 
Yoboman

Yoboman

Member
Do NOT take girls from Tinder on extravagant first dates, and prepare yourself for disappointments

So many girls I think I’ll click with I just don’t get along with at all in real life.

Recently had one basically tell me her sexual abuse history and to check my white male privelege all while completely overrunning the conversation about her shitty life
 
Wings 嫩翼翻せ

Wings 嫩翼翻せ

so it's not nice
Hey guys, just stopping in to let you know we are dating (as in, continuing going on dates). It'll be great, I hope we can develop our relationship so that we can grow in the future. Good stuff, definitely got lucky considering how terrible Tinder is in general. Thanks for all the help <3
 
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crowbrow

crowbrow

Banned
심포니 said:
Hey guys, just stopping in to let you know we are dating (as in, continuing going on dates). It'll be great, I hope we can develop our relationship so that we can grow in the future. Good stuff, definitely got lucky considering how terrible Tinder is in general. Thanks for all the help <3
Click to expand...
Wow this thread was old lol. Good luck man ;)
 
Elektro Demon

Elektro Demon

Banned
You're gonna meet a girl, you're gonna get married and have a kid. After about 6 years of marriage you will feel that you can't talk to her and you're becoming distant.
She's probably getting some D behind your back. After about 7 years of marriage she'll want a divorce saying she doesn't love you anymore, you barely talk etc.
She'll take your house, your kid and your dog, you'll end up back at your parents house, old, paying alimoney, bald, you'll see your kid once a moth cuz she got custody etc.

My advice, pursue other things. Don't bother with women. Visit prostitutes twice a month to satisfy your needs.
 
O-N-E

O-N-E

Member
Elektro_Demon said:
You're gonna meet a girl, you're gonna get married and have a kid. After about 6 years of marriage you will feel that you can't talk to her and you're becoming distant.
She's probably getting some D behind your back. After about 7 years of marriage she'll want a divorce saying she doesn't love you anymore, you barely talk etc.
She'll take your house, your kid and your dog, you'll end up back at your parents house, old, paying alimoney, bald, you'll see your kid once a moth cuz she got custody etc.

My advice, pursue other things. Don't bother with women. Visit prostitutes twice a month to satisfy your needs.
Click to expand...

Did you know happy, wonderfully functioning couples exist?
 
Yoshi

Yoshi

Headmaster of Console Warrior Jugendstrafanstalt
심포니 said:
Hey guys, just stopping in to let you know we are dating (as in, continuing going on dates). It'll be great, I hope we can develop our relationship so that we can grow in the future. Good stuff, definitely got lucky considering how terrible Tinder is in general. Thanks for all the help <3
Click to expand...
Remember to show her your badge.
 
Jacknapes

Jacknapes

Member
My own personal experience from Tinder wasn't good, most i matched with were either bots or had no real intention of anything serious beyond a few dates. I changed my perspective (and dating app) and had much better luck elsewhere. Found someone, she's perfect and have been with her nearly 4 years now.

Glad it's working out for you, hopefully it goes long term.
 
ROMhack

ROMhack

Member
Jacknapes said:
My own personal experience from Tinder wasn't good, most i matched with were either bots or had no real intention of anything serious beyond a few dates. I changed my perspective (and dating app) and had much better luck elsewhere. Found someone, she's perfect and have been with her nearly 4 years now.

Glad it's working out for you, hopefully it goes long term.
Click to expand...

Yeah I'm not convinced Tinder is really a dating app, it's more of a hook-up app.

Cases like OP's stand against this but I'm sure it's largely true.
 
D

dcll

Banned
I have met many girls and don't care about clothes at all, I am a jeans, t shirt and boots guy. It hasn't been a problem for me, if someone doesn't like me because of image then not a loss for me at all. I met a wonderful woman on there and cut all the others out. I also wouldn't even date someone that was so shallow and judge over clothes regardless of how physically beautiful they are. If they are that way then no thanks, I have stopped talking to a few when I see that in them
 
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cryptoadam

cryptoadam

Banned
Guynamedbilly said:
You have no idea until you meet in person. My brother ended up marrying a girl he met online. He actually did even meet her in person and spent a month at her parent's house to get to know her. Turns out the whole family was lying to him and for most of their online conversations he was actually talking to her mother.

Invite her out to eat spaghetti a couple dozen times to get to really know her.
Click to expand...

WTF LOL.

Was this some sort of Visa scam or something?

After they banged did it turn out it was actually the mother as well LOL.
 
Wings 嫩翼翻せ

Wings 嫩翼翻せ

so it's not nice
To respond to my boys with the Qs:

haxan7 haxan7 we did the dirty. and we damn sure are gonna do it again next time.

Yoshi Yoshi honestly I don't get the joke. Please explain?

Jacknapes Jacknapes Tinder is a hellfire. I consider myself extremely lucky especially considering the circumstances highlighted in the OP and following posts I made. It just gets worse every day. Definitely a hook-up app. Anyways, thanks for the wishes. We really like each other.

Papa Papa I am indeed still a cum chump!!!!!!!!

ROMhack ROMhack I mean I used pretty old pics. I look the same from two even three years ago but all my photog friends who took them for me are across the country or in Japan rn so I'm kinda SOL. I suggest taking photos in tuxes or good clothing in general. No groupies though I could never do that lmao, even gymies. I feel douchey
 
ROMhack

ROMhack

Member
So, I had a look last night and would categorise the majority of girls I saw as:

1 - Instagrammies. I.e. girls who look like they live their lives on Instagram, looking exactly the same, posing in exactly the same ways. Use filters *shudders*.
2 - Popular types who seem really really basic. Pics laden with travel images of them having a wicked time with the gals. Love horses or dogs. Conventionally hot sure, but not my type.
3 - Wasters. The types who look like they just don't care about themselves. Coloured hair, tats, passive-aggressive bios, sometimes kids. Nope.

I only saw 1 or 2 who seemed nice and normal. Still think this is a hook-up app for most.

Edit: Should probably say this is in a semi-rural area. In London, I had more luck, but it's also true that No. 2 was exacerbated massively. Me and my housemate—who was admittedly quite good at the game—used to joke about it.
 
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royox

royox

Member
Xaero Gravity said:
The best advice I can give when it comes to online dating is to never go into a match expecting it to be or thinking it's "the one". The amount of people just looking for fun massively outnumbers those looking a steady relationship, so you're just setting yourself up for disappointment. Plus the fact that you're not the only one she's talking to on a consistent basis.

Your best bet is to just go with the flow, and whatever happens, happens.
Click to expand...

Literally this. I was in tinder for "fun" (ok, for sex) and in one of those "fun" dates the girl asked me what were my intentions and I legit answered "I don't have a target, I want to have fun, meet people and whatever happens, happens,."

She's my GF now and now we are planning to live together. You never know when you will find it.
 
B

Breakage

Member
ROMhack said:
So, I had a look last night and would categorise the majority of girls I saw as:

1 - Instagrammies. I.e. girls who look like they live their lives on Instagram, looking exactly the same, posing in exactly the same ways. Use filters *shudders*.
2 - Popular types who seem really really basic. Pics laden with travel images of them having a wicked time with the gals. Love horses or dogs. Conventionally hot sure, but not my type.
3 - Wasters. The types who look like they just don't care about themselves. Coloured hair, tats, passive-aggressive bios, sometimes kids. Nope.

I only saw 1 or 2 who seemed nice and normal. Still think this is a hook-up app for most.

Edit: Should probably say this is in a semi-rural area. In London, I had more luck, but it's also true that No. 2 was exacerbated massively. Me and my housemate—who was admittedly quite good at the game—used to joke about it.
Click to expand...
I think in general it's much harder to find an attractive woman who genuinely has interesting things to say, even in a city like London. The “career” types tend to repeat the same banal Guardian-friendly opinions.
 
ROMhack

ROMhack

Member
Breakage said:
I think in general it's much harder to find an attractive woman who genuinely has interesting things to say, even in a city like London. The “career” types tend to repeat the same banal Guardian-friendly opinions.
Click to expand...

Yeah, it seems that they're either buying into a particular lifestyle or presenting themselves as such because they think that's what they should be doing. It's quite uncanny how similar they come across really. Whether women feel a similar way about men is up for debate too I guess (I'm not a woman so I don't know).

Online dating for me is still a bit too simple. You can never really get to know somebody who presents themselves in a certain way rather than reflecting who they really are (something I try to keep in mind).
 
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B

Breakage

Member
ROMhack said:
Yeah, it seems that they're either buying into a particular lifestyle or presenting themselves as such because they think that's what they should be doing. It's quite uncanny how similar they come across really. Whether women feel a similar way about men is up for debate too I guess (I'm not a woman so I don't know).

Personally it's big reason why I don't go for girls this way. It's unerringly similar to Facebook/Instagram now in that people are presenting themselves a certain way. If you look carefully on social media, you tend to notice that people buy into a set 'hidden' rules about how they should and should not look. What sucks is that online dating should be a lot more individualistic because ultimately you're supposed to be being yourself.

It's all very, very different from when you meet girls IRL and realise that they aren't just a soundbyte.

But maybe that's just me being critical. Wings clearly has some tricks.
Click to expand...
Yeah, I agree. That's the thing about online dating: people present themselves as products of a particular lifestyle. The posh women list all their books, boast about their careers and degrees and travel destinations in an attempt to show everyone how cultured and successful they are. They'll name drop brands to show off their income brackets, and talk about their coffees and special diets. On the opposite end the “Only Way Is Essex” types also fall into their own formulaic presentations: Instagram promotion, boasting about holidays, name dropping brands (“can't live without my iPhone and my MAC eyeliner”). If you talk to the women on these sites, you just come away with the sense that you've seen and heard it all before.
I suppose it's a reflection of a prevailing culture which increasingly values the superficial over the contemplative.
 
ROMhack

ROMhack

Member
Breakage said:
Yeah, I agree. That's the thing about online dating: people present themselves as products of a particular lifestyle. The posh women list all their books, boast about their careers and degrees and travel destinations in an attempt to show everyone how cultured and successful they are. They'll name drop brands to show off their income brackets, and talk about their coffees and special diets. On the opposite end the “Only Way Is Essex” types also fall into their own formulaic presentations: Instagram promotion, boasting about holidays, name dropping brands (“can't live without my iPhone and my MAC eyeliner”). If you talk to the women on these sites, you just come away with the sense that you've seen and heard it all before.
I suppose it's a reflection of a prevailing culture which increasingly values the superficial over the contemplative.
Click to expand...

Agreed but will say that I think people have been pressured to act that way, nudged if you like. It's the only way I can reconcile my experience that people are different IRL to how they present themselves on t'internet.

Still, it makes online dating a maze. It's like what they say about social media being people's highlight reels.
 
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