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Star Wars IX Open Spoilers, Leaks, Trash Talk, etc. (***Warning SPOILERS***)

Looking at those leaks
"At the very end...Star Wars dies:messenger_tears_of_joy:"

Still I think we need a remake of prequels with new graphics and fight design.
 
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buizel

Banned
Looking at those leaks
"At the very end...Star Wars dies:messenger_tears_of_joy:"

Still I think we need a remake of prequels with new graphics and fight design.

The problems with the prequesl weren't graphics and fight design, if they just update those it'll be the same boring slog.
 

MilkyJoe

Member
That's an atomic burn

ELCDLr8XYAACXW2.png:large
 

#Phonepunk#

Banned
LOL Colin does not give a fuck

honestly all the fired SW directors should write a tell all. THAT i would eagerly anticipate
 
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buizel

Banned


Heres the cast and crews reaction to the end of TRoS.

Anthony Daniels reaction... lol that guy.. "After 40 years... this is it??"
 
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MoFuzz

Member
Rey Skywalker would be lame as hell, but it perfectly lines up with the radical ideology spouted in current year:

Remember kids, it doesn't matter identity you are assigned at birth. All that matters is what you "feel" like.

If you say you are something other than your biology or DNA, then it is 100% true, and no one is allowed to question you or say otherwise.

What a stunning and brave ending! Please clap.
 

#Phonepunk#

Banned
Remember kids, it doesn't matter identity you are assigned at birth. All that matters is what you "feel" like.
more postmodernism at work. deny your family. deny the past. just choose your identity like changing a profile.

JJ will be "successful" tho, that narrative has already been decided. plus already they have had plenty of success dangling shiny SW objects in front of people's faces. look at the praise Mandalorian is getting, despite being another terrible story relying wholly on fan service. this movie will be a success with the people that praised TFA and TLJ make no mistake. but it will be terrible.
 
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#Phonepunk#

Banned


Palpatine apparently disintegrates and explodes, causing the arena to crumble (This is where new information comes into the picture) but also killing Rey. Ben apparently climbs out of the pit finding a dead Rey and decides to give his life for her. He uses the healing trick to save Rey but draining his life force in the process. Then "there’s a weird fanfic moment where they kiss, and he dies."

🤢
 
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Rey Skywalker would be lame as hell, but it perfectly lines up with the radical ideology spouted in current year:

Remember kids, it doesn't matter identity you are assigned at birth. All that matters is what you "feel" like.

If you say you are something other than your biology or DNA, then it is 100% true, and no one is allowed to question you or say otherwise.

What a stunning and brave ending! Please clap.
Hit the nail on the head there.
 

cryptoadam

Banned
She sees Luke and Leia as parents? EWWWW brother and sister as parents, talk about inbred.

I still don't understand what is the First Orders plan? After their deathstar planet was destroyed what was their plan again? How were they going to take over the universe? And the Final Order? Cutting it close to the Final Solution there. And whats Palps plan? Become emperor again? Hey guys remember I am dead but I am not ! make me emperor again.
 

#Phonepunk#

Banned
i like how Palpatine's big plan is to again have the dark Skywalker heir kill a powerful lightsider for him. he's thinking, "well i trusted Anakin and it got me fried by lightning and turned into a ghoul, then i trusted him a second time, along with his kid, and i got thrown down a 30 year pit, so clearly i should put my faith in their only living relative, see if they can betray and kill me a third time" LOL
 
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cryptoadam

Banned
i like how Palpatine's big plan is to again have the dark Skywalker heir kill a powerful lightsider for him. he's thinking, "well i trusted Anakin and it got me fried by lightning and turned into a ghoul, then i trusted him a second time, along with his kid, and i got thrown down a 30 year pit, so clearly i should put my faith in their only living relative, see if they can betray and kill me a third time" LOL

It Rhymes, its like Poetry

-George Lucas

Now stop thinking and shut your brain off, Rey is the bestest ever. If only we lived in a society that accepted incest and Luke + Leia could of been Rey's parents. Hopefully our world will become progressive enough so Disney can take that brave stance and in the special editions Luke and Leia will be retconned into incestual lovers who produced Rey the greatest Skywalker of em all.
 

ExpandKong

Banned
“Rey who?”

A) “Rey Palpatine.” Own it. Your name, your genetics, your family - it doesn’t define who you are or what you can do. Nice cheesy lesson.

B) “Just Rey.” She is who she always was. She did what The Galaxy/The Force/Disney Corporate needed her to do, and now she’s done. She starts off and ends up alone on a desert planet, just Rey. Poetry and shit.

C) “Rey Skywalker!” Everything is true if you just say it is. Steal that family’s name, what do they care they’re all dead. Until thirty years from now when JJ Abrams has to make a new trilogy and they bring back Zombie Puppet Vader, because who needs original ideas when you’ve got Disney money?

Don’t forget to buy Star Wars branded menstrual pads. Because The Force Is Female, and sometimes it flows through you a bit too heavily.
 

#Phonepunk#

Banned
Hux turning out to be a secret #Resistance Nazi hero is quite the development. Wonder what all the “FO is a direct parallel” people will say? Also it makes all the “Finn is a traitor” bullshit from his supposed friends even worse.

So Rey has this healing power, and Kylo does too. Funny that the main thing leading to Anakin's downfall, the promise of saving the ones you love from dying, is now just a thing everyone does, cos OP.

Then Kylo seemingly gets killed 3 times in the movie LOL. What a trash heap
 
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Porcile

Member
Even if NONE of the leaks are true, how much better can the final story be? That's the scary thing about this movie. They dug themselves into such a huge hole that it's bound to disappoint on so many levels.
 

GV82

Member
Oh god I read today’s leaks, all of them, just a bunch of Trash, so far most of the leaks have been spot on some shown in the TV spots.

I am glad I decided to skip this in the cinema, only the second time along with Solo, I saw all the rest starting 20yrs ago with the Phantom Menace, since I was too young for the originals cinema release. I refused to see the 1997 releases not because of the changes (at the time I was 15) but because I owned the movies on VHS & had no idea why people would go to the cinema & pay if they owned a film at home.

A Yellow lightsaber, the same colour as piss, a coincidence I think not, it’s like Lucasfilm giving you an unwanted Golden Shower from a dying creature, that stinks.
 
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Porcile

Member
This whole thing is like fucked up Nintendo Direct hype thread. It's like if all the leakers prior to the Direct were saying things like Nintendo is going to kill their hardware division, cancel all their games and make Wii Music spinoffs for eternity. Incredibly disappointing if true. Then in the Direct itself Nintendo announce that yes, they are Indeed killing their hardware division, cancelling all their games and making Wii Music spinoffs for eternity. Then Miyamoto pops up at the end and is all like BUT WE HAVE ONE MORE THING TO SHOW YOU and it's just that old viral video of that woman being fucked by a horse.

Somehow the Direct ended up being even worse than all the leaks.

That's what's happened to Star Wars since The Last Jedi.
 
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prag16

Banned
In addition to the ending, so much other stupid shit. Force ghost Han? Rey (and then Kylo) with all new healing force power? It'll be a feat if I don't burst out laughing at some of these parts.
 
The only two issues I had with TFA was 1. ANOTHER FKIN DEATHSTAR, seriously this was just stupid and also making it out of a planet when it was supposedly built by the first order who are meant to be an offshoot of the empire and not as powerful as the galactic empire at their prime who had millions of slaves and resources at their disposal. and it was treated like it was just nothing. Oh the first order up to their old tricks hollowing out an entire planet and building the most devastating weapon in history that somehow can destroy 3 planets in different parts of the galaxy with one shot at the same time.

It would have taken very little creative thought to have made a more reasonable weapon plot point to replace starkiller base.

2. no attempt at explaining state of the galaxy and how the first order emerged what happened to the new republic and why leia felt the need to create a new rebellion apart from the new republic, why the new republic didnt respond to the threat of the first order. oh and Chewbacca walking past leia and then leia comforting Rey not chewwie after hans death was BS
Perfect sum up..
 

#Phonepunk#

Banned
just so funny that Palpatine's "save the ones you love from dying" promise made long ago to Vader in order to tempt him to the dark side, then just as quickly revealed to be a lie, turned out to be true and it happens in this movie several times, first to a space worm LOL
 

#Phonepunk#

Banned
The only plus side seems to be rendering all of TLJ void and null, doing what that film did to TFA. It’s like they are daring us to not care.

So fucked that Rey has a vision of her actual parents but I guess they will remain nameless and forgotten since she chooses the more famous last name. We hear all about Ochie and this confusing assassination/protection plot but no background on who these people were. All that work they did trying to project her, LOL and she’s going to just ignore them and go with the famous people.

Tho maybe this is JJ honouring Rian who thought “the hardest thing for her to hear” was that her parents weren’t famous. Which was supremely dumb
 
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#Phonepunk#

Banned
so far Oscar Isaac, Daisy Ridley, John Boyega, and JJ Abrams have all said various things about how the last movie was unsatisfying for them. can we end the "just a loud minority didn't like TLJ" bullshit handwaves and admit the movie had some serious problems?
 
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I am honestly surprised to type this, but if that's the summary, it honestly doesn't sound that bad to me. Disclaimer: this movie has to attempt to wrap up the series and follow the disastrous TLJ, which has pretty much ruined the series. So, this movie is never going to be perfect in any way. It's a damage control movie. But, does JJ at least attempt it?

- Showing Rey training and messing up is good. Showing Rey die at the end is good, since she's been a Mary Sue forever.
- Explaining Snoke's origins is good. The explanation isn't super great, but they had limited options after TLJ disaster.
- They had to wrap up with a villain since TLJ ruined Snoke. The only option is The Emperor. It's pretty dumb, but JJ honestly had no options left.
- Having Kylo turn good and rediscover his identity is good. At this point he honestly has to. He is the last Skywalker, and you can't bookend the whole 9 movie saga without his redemption since Luke is dead and TLJ ruined him. JJ pretty much has no choice here. Having him speak to Han is fitting, since that is unforgivable. Showing Han forgive him is about the only way to do it. It's really the only play left for JJ.
- Introducing a new general instead of Hux is good, since Hux is a loser.
- I think the ending with Kylo dying and reviving Rey is okay-ish. Kylo gets redeemed, but still dies, which is what most everyone expected. Rey actually dies, which shows she's not a Mary Sue and is weaker than the Emperor, so that's good. I don't like that she takes the name, but at least she literally has Ben's lifeforce and essence, so there's that I guess. And Leia and LUke will doing the ghost parent shit too. For this to work the execution has to be good, so I guess we'll see. And having her choose her name is a fitting ending to the sequel trilogy honestly, after two movies of her wondering who her parents are and then finding out it's Palpatine. She basically ends her arc by deciding it wasn't important, and she chose who was important to her and honored their name and finally found her identity. It's more about her finally deciding for herself that she doesn't have that gap anymore about wondering who she is.

I wasn't blown away by TFA, but I liked it. TLJ is an abomination. It seems JJ is trying to fix the wreckage. I mostly just feel a bit bad for him. Seems like he had few options. Not sure if I'll enjoy any of this or not. Pretty much over this whole cast and trilogy.
 
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#Phonepunk#

Banned
Having Kylo turn good and rediscover his identity is good. At this point he honestly has to. He is the last Skywalker
i hate this. more than anything this turns it all into a pro-monarchy pro-bloodline series. it makes TLJ entirely pointless. the only reason he is being saved is his meta importance to the franchise. that's it. it is 100% calculated.
Having him speak to Han is fitting, since that is unforgivable
Han spoke to Kylo and pleaded for his life and he killed the man? Kylo already had his shot. he is not entitled to this. it is the opposite of "unforgivable" ffs. the way reality works is when people die, you can't ask them for forgiveness.

i'm sorry, if the ST is going to pull some "that's not how life works" BS on the Jedi temple, Luke being destined to fail "cos that's life, man", and Han/Leia splitting "cos that's how life works" then no you don't get to ask the person you murdered for forgiveness. i'm sorry, that's how life works. all this coming back to life reviving the dead crap is 10000% percent the reason for me to not see this piece of shit. the ST is meaningless, nihilist garbage at this point.
 
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xandaca

Member
I'm not a huge Star Wars fan so must be getting this wrong, but isn't the whole point of the Sith that there's only two of them at any one time? In the prequels, Palpatine murdered Plagueis before taking Darth Maul as his apprentice, followed by Christopher Lee, followed by Anakin. I thought it gave the Sith a huge amount of weight as antagonists that one of them, plus an apprentice, was so powerful and cunning that he could take down an entire Republic with its army of Jedi. Now this leak talks about Sith fleets and Sith troopers? I assume I must be wrong in thinking that's a big continuity error? I can only assume I found out about the rule somewhere other than prequels, so it isn't technically canon, but it certainly makes the Sith far less distinctive and interesting if they're now just another army.
 
i hate this. more than anything this turns it all into a pro-monarchy pro-bloodline series. the only reason he is being saved is his meta importance to the franchise. that's it. it is 100% calculated.
I am looking at this from the point of view of a writer who is hired to end the dumpster fire after TLJ ruined everything. It's the last Skywalker movie of 9 films. There's not much choice left for the writers here. He basically has to go through a redemption arc.

And yeah, he killed Han. And in the end Kylo dies. But they get Han back for a scene I'm guessing as a metaphor for Kylo's spiritual journey, or a conversation in his head, or a spirit conversation or some shit, and it shows Han forgive him. That's about the only way to really portray Ben turning back to the light side. So I don't really have a huge problem with either thing. It seems like both things are all but required after the shit TLJ left. We'll see how the actual execution is. It's also not bad that he gets stabbed through the stomach right when Leia talks to him, further cementing his guilt and atonement in the audience's minds.

And the series ends with Rey carrying on the Skywalker name, instead of it just dying completely. Probably the safe bet. But Rey also realizes that searching for her parents wasn't important, because she found out her dad was Hitler. So she instead chooses her own family, and calls herself a Skywalker to honor the people who helped her. And honestly, if you find out your last name is Hitler, you'd change your name too. And she basically chooses the name of the person who literally just revived her. It's not that bad.
 
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#Phonepunk#

Banned
they get Han back for a scene I'm guessing as a metaphor for Kylo's spiritual journey
LOL spiritual journey? acting like an entitled brat and spouting some poetry before killing people is a spiritual journey now?
And the series ends with Rey carrying on the Skywalker name, instead of it just dying completely. Probably the safe bet.
um... this is "The End of the Skywalker Saga" why is the Skywalker name carrying on a good thing? that doesn't make any sense. more mixed messaging.

also how is she going to carry it on? start a Jedi academy? i already seen that movie 30 years ago.
Rey also realizes that searching for her parents wasn't important
again, i hate this! her parents died trying to protect her. what a terrible message.
 
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LOL spiritual journey? acting like an entitled brat and spouting some poetry before killing people is a spiritual journey now?

um... this is "The End of the Skywalker Saga" why is the Skywalker name carrying on a good thing? that doesn't make any sense. more mixed messaging.

also how is she going to carry it on? start a Jedi academy? i already seen that movie 30 years ago.

again, i hate this! her parents died trying to protect her.
Two people died protecting her that she never knew. Palpatine is a monster. Her bloodline doesn't define who she is in the end, since she never even knew them. She defines her own identity herself at the end. Taking the name also just honors Ben's sacrifice, and Luke's sacrifice, and Leia's sacrifice. They will obviously continue this stuff in the future outside of movies. There's videogames, comics, books, TV shows, animated shows.

And ending with the name being alive doesn't mean the story has to literally continue. It just means the 9 movies are honored and the legacy lived on in that world without being completely erased at the end.
 

drganon

Member
so far Oscar Isaac, Daisy Ridley, John Boyega, and JJ Abrams have all said various things about how the last movie was unsatisfying for them. can we end the "just a loud minority didn't like TLJ" bullshit handwaves and admit the movie had some serious problems?
Apparently not. Just saw a clickbait article in response to this saying that tlj "saved" star wars. I didn't read it though since that would mean me giving them a click, thus allowing them to get ad revenue, which I cant abide by.
 
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