I was in the mood for some bow action, so I decided to watch the first
Hunger Games movie, not expecting much from it. The archery bits were somewhat enjoyable, and the same goes for the movie overall, but I didn't care for the production design at all. I get that coming up with a completely fictional style of fashion, and general look of a society isn't that easy, but I think they blew it. Might just be my personal taste, but something like the Fifth Element pulls of extravagant fashion way better. The fascist imagery is used pretty lazily too. In fairness though this is probably a movie for tween girls so I shouldn't expect too much. Still, I can't get over how strikingly dumb it is to have these small towns (District 12 had 10k people?) be the industrial backbone of a futuristic mega city that seems to hold 90% of the population. Just the spectator stands for the chariot parade thing probably seat more people than everyone in the peasant districts. Also, the poverty = early 20th century villages thing is dumb.
The main character, Katniss, isn't particularly likeable so it's fitting that she's played by Jennifer Lawrence. It's kinda convenient how all the nice people get taken out by others so that she never has to do anything bad, but I know that this is based on YA fiction. The titular hunger games don't feel that brutal though, it's a cool premise that ends up being a bit wasted and it never feels like a survival situation. Something like Rambo: First Blood is way more intense even though it features a more capable protagonist. In this movie, Katniss just sleeps in a tree for a day, then another tree, and then she's passed out for two days without anyone finding her. It's okay overall I'd say. The worst part is the stupid love triangle they introduce, with pointless character number one: Gale. This dude looks like what I imagine the people in Twilight look like, and has no purpose other than being jealous.
In for a penny, in for a pound, I decided to watch the other ones as well.
Hunger Games: Catching Fire is already noticeably worse, even though it does also have some decent archery scenes. The actual games in this movie are extra dumb, first of all because it feels even less like a situation where they have to fight against other people (they just randomly show up at times and die). Secondly, the actual dangers they encounter amount to boring c-tier CGI wankery. Oh no, deadly mist let's run! Killer baboons! It's so dull to watch. It also doesn't make much sense, because apparently the whole thing was planned so that Katniss could make it out of there (that one lady cut out her tracker too), but why didn't any of the people who were in on it then have pre-knowledge of the design of the place? What was the plan before she randomly shot the ceiling? How did the hovercrafts get in and out to pick up the bodies when they were under a solid dome and not just a forcefield? The tech never made sense to me anyway, like if things were holograms, or real and if so how it's supposed to work.
The descent into shit continues with
Mockingjay Part 1, which I think only contained a single loosed arrow. A pretty nice shot to be fair, but still. The movie is completely pointless, with Katniss doing literally nothing and her even more pointless boyfriend-not-boyfriend Gale somehow being given an important role in the rebellion army, while managing to be even more unlikeable than Jennifer Lawrence. Also he gets a crossbow at some point, because arrows and bolts, but it's dumb because a crossbow is more like a rifle than a bow. Fuck him. Despite being the third movie there are still no characters with any
character, and they put Amos in it only to not give him any screen time. At the beginning of the movie people boo when president lady says she'll pardon the hunger games victors, and then at the end of the movie they applaud her when she announces that her secret mission to save them succeeded. Good job
The final movie,
Mockingjay Part 2, is unsurprisingly even worse. Now, it does have more archery, and the final (bow) shot is kinda nice for being as predictable as it is. Just about the only good thing I could say about the movie is that they put Michelle Forbes in it, who has the most badass voice of any female actor I can think of. Also they shot a scene in the Tokyo flood reservoirs which is kinda cool. The movie makes jealous guy even more unlikeable, by having him cry about the quality of kisses and then going on about how murdering people is all fine and good. A lot of the movie takes place in the capitol, which for whatever reason is a giant deathtrap arena, which makes about this ----> . much sense. It's ass-tier Hollywood action, and they put in a team of redshirts so we can watch them die in uninteresting ways. I'm not against the idea of a trap gauntlet, but it's terribly executed here because 1) it doesn't make any fucking sense (if they could engineer the whole city to be a trap they could also just kill everyone) 2) the traps don't make any sense, for example if you can put in the biggest fucking flame throwers I've ever seen, then I'm pretty sure you wouldn't make it so they're motion triggered by an arrow and then run out of napalm after firing once lol 3) watching them navigate the traps is utterly devoid of tension.
At some point jealous guy gets captured, and then when they reunite it's like they had some silent falling out, because she thought he was behind bombing the kids? But that doesn't make any sense, he could just as well have killed himself there. Good riddance anyway, what a useless character lol. The whole rebellion plot is impossible to care about because, again, there are hardly any characters with any kind of
character, or character development in the movies. Almost the entire story is shown from a single perspective (Katniss') but she hates everyone and doesn't really want to be there. She only had some chemistry with Peeta, who might as well not be in the two last movies. At the end when they get a letter that's meant to give some resolution, it's from a character we've basically never seen, who's only relevance is that she's married to adonis-with-the-trident-guy (that's the extent of his character). I know it's a worn out point, but a movie like A New Hope is also a rebellion story and it works because it introduces and revolves around characters we care about. It's always baffling to me how much money gets put into making these movies, and how good they are technically, while still managing to be so shit in other fundamental, important ways.
I should watch some good movies next, right now I feel guilty like a just ate a ton of junk food and all I got for it was nausea.
edit: oh and also, when they have the round table vote for the next hunger games with "all" the victors, are we supposed to believe that they were the only surviving ones? Really?
