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What is the point of trying so hard?

NecrosaroIII

Ask me about my terrible takes on Star Trek characters
Every day I work my was off only to be bitched at by moron fucking mongoloid downs syndrome cock suckers.

I'm taking classes so I can learn skills for a new job but I'm pretty sure I'm gonna hate that job too. It it's better paying hopefully and that's expected of me.

I try my best to treat my wife well and she's usually pretty great but i know there is a respect discrepancy. Don't ever marry a person who is clearly smarter than you. It leads to a power imbalance. And the only reason she's with me is because I'm a fucking simp but its not even like she puts out. I have to get for hand jobs and she hasn't had sex with me since before we were married. She blames me. Says thay there is no ppint in getting turned on since I have erectile dysfunction. I guess she is right.

Meanwhile my coworkers are passing me for promotions despite the fact I have 7 years more experience then them. Fucking a kid that has been doing this job for 4 months is hired ranked than me
 

NecrosaroIII

Ask me about my terrible takes on Star Trek characters
Fuckin all of my friends are now having kids and buying homes meanwhile I can't. And soon I won't be able to.
 

Prison Mike

Banned
Angry Season 3 GIF by The Office
 
We all have bad days bro, the point is seeing IT. What IT is, I can't tell you and you'll just have to figure out for yourself.
 

nush

Gold Member
And the only reason she's with me is because I'm a fucking simp

Knowing the problem is the first step to solving it. Simp'n aint easy.

its not even like she puts out. I have to get for hand jobs and she hasn't had sex with me since before we were married.
See quote one, she's gets what she wants without having to put in any effort

She blames me. Says thay there is no ppint in getting turned on since I have erectile dysfunction. I guess she is right.

You're being gaslit. It would be a struggle to get it up for anyone disrespecting you like that. That and your shit job situation.

My ex wife also stopped putting out once she had her feet under the table, it's surprisingly common so don't think it's just you that has to put up with it. I just solved it by booking escorts, as long as I kept trying the have sex with the wife and getting rejected that was all on her. She was a narcissistic sociopath anyway so I ended up divorcing her in the end.

Anyway, no point improving yourself and getting a better job if your just going to drag her along. That's a life of all pain and no gain.
 

Ionian

Member
Had to read the OP twice.

- No sex since marraige
- Only with you as you are a simp (how does that even work, met her on Twitch?)
- Erectile dysfunction. There's pills for that.
- "moron fucking mongoloid downs syndrome cock suckers."

Think it's your attitude buddy.

EDIT: You mention handjobs, how does that even work if you can't get hard? Genuinely curious.
 
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nush

Gold Member
Clocked that alright, just a bizzare ramble. haha

Required reading, he got triggered earlier on.

 

nush

Gold Member
You'd be better off single.
Pretty much, things are not going to improve if his career takes off and he buys a house and gets a kid along the way. Although in the moment it might look like it is once he's got the house but the sex will be only on the menu long enough for her to get knocked up.
 

Hudo

Member
Every day I work my was off only to be bitched at by moron fucking mongoloid downs syndrome cock suckers.

I'm taking classes so I can learn skills for a new job but I'm pretty sure I'm gonna hate that job too. It it's better paying hopefully and that's expected of me.

I try my best to treat my wife well and she's usually pretty great but i know there is a respect discrepancy. Don't ever marry a person who is clearly smarter than you. It leads to a power imbalance. And the only reason she's with me is because I'm a fucking simp but its not even like she puts out. I have to get for hand jobs and she hasn't had sex with me since before we were married. She blames me. Says thay there is no ppint in getting turned on since I have erectile dysfunction. I guess she is right.

Meanwhile my coworkers are passing me for promotions despite the fact I have 7 years more experience then them. Fucking a kid that has been doing this job for 4 months is hired ranked than me
Well, the only "advice" I can give you is that you should start thinking about yourself and do things for yourself. Don't be afraid to say "no" if something is not to your liking but also be prepared that people might ask "why not?" in return. "Respect" (which is just as stupid of a concept as "honor", invented to control people implicitly) will come to you automatically after a while; that's at least my experience. Be polite, help if there's a problem (don't go too out of your way, though) but don't be afraid to say no.

With regards to your wife, you should probably tell her how you feel about all of this.
 

haxan7

Volunteered as Tribute
I have 3 things I’d try if I were in your situation:

1. Get a blood test to check testosterone levels
2. Get boner pills
3. Join us in the fitness OT and start getting in shape. If your dr gives you testosterone therapy, it would give a huge boost with this and you’d feel better. Also once in shape you’ll be better positioned to dominate your current wife, and if that doesn’t work, find a new one.
 
Life is hard for everyone and crying about it won't help.

If you don't like your job, get a new one.

Honestly the best thing you can do is change your attitude. Stop seeing yourself as a victim and start sorting yourself out. Get off the Internet and particularly social media, exercise more, keep your house tidy and eat properly, find a hobby outside, even if it's just going for walks right now in your nearest wild(ish) open space.

Whinging about it online doesn't help and honestly if that's how you're behaving in real life too, then are you really surprised you're not being praised or given promotions?

Also obviously get a divorce. That relationship, well, isn't one.
 
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I've had jobs where I work 100x as hard as everyone there. I had more experience. Worked longer hours. But I wasnt up the boss' ass and she never stopped being terrible to me. I stuck around for a lot longer than I should have. Changed jobs last year and got a pay increase, and the work environment is like 1 billion times better and more welcoming. I kinda love my job now. Just changed overnight.

If you think you have physical issues with sex then go to a doctor and sort it out. But I suspect that its mostly due to how shit your wife is. A man getting turned on needs to feel some kind of ego or pride in himself. Youre putting yourself down a lot and calling her smarter than you. Sounds like she really treats you like shit and you probably hate her, but don't even realize it yet.

You have to salvage yourself. Then see if there's anything left of your marriage, or leave.

Friends comparing finances can be bitter, if they're buying houses and stuff. A lot of adults lose friends if they don't end up in similar income brackets. Just do the best you can. Moving forward is better than nothing. My dad raised me in his apartment and never got a house. Now he stays at my little brother's place. We both have houses now. Sometimes it can take a generation to make it all work - especially in tough times like now. Its still better to try and do what you can.
 

FunkMiller

Gold Member
Possibly getting advice from someone a little more qualified in these things than a bunch of boneheads on NeoGaf would probably be a good start...
 


But seriously, OP. You're not a tree. You have freedom to move. You aren't forever stuck at a shitty job or in a shitty marriage. Already taking a good step by learning new things in class. Also, in terms of jobs, corporate ladder, promotions, etc it's all bullshit and either based on luck or someone being a decision-maker's friend. Don't sweat over working when you're really just making others money.
 

Moogle11

Banned
1. Get professional help.

2. Decide if your marriage is worth working on and get professional counseling if so and she’s willing. If not, probably better to be single and get away while there’s no kids etc. involved. Too many people, including myself in the past, stay in doomed relationship just because they aren’t abusive and/or fear of being alone.

3. Aggressively apply for other jobs. The only way to get promotions and pay raises of note in most industries these days is job hopping. If you aren’t getting them, it’s time to leave. Even more so when miserable in a job. Don’t just quit and have no income. Just apply for other things, hopefully get something and put your notice in.

Above all, just focus on your own happiness. That’s the reason to try so hard. Too many people try hard at things other than making themselves happy. Make all your decisions with the goal of maximizing happiness while paying the bills etc. and other things will gradually fall into place IMO.
 

Woo-Fu

Banned
It's probably for the best that you can't have children at the moment. A child would not improve the situation. In my experience the answer is to work on your own shit. Most of the other "problems" evaporate once you get your own act together.
 

Stouffers

Banned
It's probably for the best that you can't have children at the moment. A child would not improve the situation. In my experience the answer is to work on your own shit. Most of the other "problems" evaporate once you get your own act together.
But you can’t pause life forever. Plus, “life together” is pretty dang subjective.
 

Woo-Fu

Banned
But you can’t pause life forever. Plus, “life together” is pretty dang subjective.

The OP has listed what he thinks are the problems, of course it is subjective. Who said anything about pausing forever? If you're saying he'll never get his shit together then that is going to put a lot of things on pause, indefinitely.
 
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Pick something to fight for. One thing. Doesn't matter what it is. Doesn't matter if it works out the way you want. Make a habit of trying to make something better in your life. Just one thing. Develop a process for change, knowing that failure is possible. Even a failure will allow you to move on.

You can't fight every battle at once. But you can fight one battle.
 

Kadayi

Banned
Take ownership of your problems versus externalising them. Where you are at in life is more than anything down to you as an individual. You're not going to change your world until you change yourself and that comes down firstly to changing your mindset. Any exchange you have in the world is like a handshake and the results of that exchange are driven as much by your attitude and frame as the other person.

I recommend reading some Jocko Willink and maybe digging into some of his podcasts.
 

Stouffers

Banned
The OP has listed what he thinks are the problems, of course it is subjective. Who said anything about pausing forever? If you're saying he'll never get his shit together then that is going to put a lot of things on pause, indefinitely.
I’m saying there is no true “shit together.” Life is a perpetual process of 1 step forward, two steps back with the occasional windfall or catastrophe that sends you hurling in either direction.
 
I feel like I'm becoming bitterer and bitterer. I've tried changing things. I've changed jobs. I've exercised and lost weight. All roads lead to me feeling angrier. I can feel myself becoming a worse person.
Have you tried setting up an appointment with a doctor for the erectile disfunction. I feel like that’s a good start. Maybe you need a testosterone boost. You can prob start versing yourself in areas and working on hobbies that you are interested to match wits with your wife and feel better about yourself . I meet tons of inventors and I would say they are all very smart and knowledgeable, people just excel in different ways.
 
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NecrosaroIII

Ask me about my terrible takes on Star Trek characters
Have you tried setting up an appointment with a doctor for the erectile disfunction. I feel like that’s a good start. Maybe you need a testosterone boost. You can prob start versing yourself in areas and working on hobbies that you are interested to match wits with your wife and feel better about yourself . I meet tons of inventors and I would say they are all very smart and knowledgeable, people just excel in different ways.
I've seen a doctor. T was slightly low. Like 430. But not low enough to be classified as "low t". My doctor said that viagra probably wouldn't help because they think it's probably psychological (like why I can get hard watching porn but not during sex).
 
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